Unpleasant Barnes and Noble Bathroom More Like Dingy Dorm Room Than Classy Bookstore Facility

Barnes and Noble
Waterford Lakes Town Center
481 N Alafaya Trl
Orlando, FL USA
www.barnesandnoble.com

Where is it?

This store has kind of a fat "L" shape to it, with the main entrance to the back apex of the letter's shape. Once inside, you'll see the bargain books and kid's area to the far left, the fiction and music area to the far right and, behind a sea of shelves housing self-help and other thematically tied books, the pre-requisite cafe.

Go to the cafe, which is in the front apex of the "L"-shaped floor plan, and while facing it veer to the right of it. Once there, you'll see a hallway leading behind the cafe some -- the bathrooms are there.

What's it like?

This is a sad affair in terms of a book store. Sure, this location of the popular book store chain has the set-up and familiar design, including wall after all of shelves, a kiddie play area, a music and video area and a cafe, but everything feels somewhat ramshackle inside, as if planners had decided to throw everything and anything that's relevant to a bookstore into the place and hope for the best.

It's a crammed store, from the cashier area that's literally jammed with impulse-buy displays to the aisles of books, which are placed so closely together you feel like you're privacy is being invaded if someone else is in the same row as you. It's not a pleasant environment to be in. It's disorganized and filled with anxiety -- I have trouble relaxing here.

I also have trouble finding the books I want. I came in looking for a copy of Aravind Adiga's novel "The White Tiger," which I assumed would be easy to find because it'd just won the Booker Prize a few weeks earlier and was on U.S. best seller lists. I searched and searched for it but came up empty. Then I asked a clerk, thinking I was just being obtuse and it was in an easy to locate spot, but but the clerk I spoke to had never heard of it and after looking it up in the computer, she said, "Yes, we have a few copies," and then proceeded to take me down the "A" aisle for fiction, which had the book stored under the author's first name instead of his last. So it goes.

But having said that, the interior here pretty indicative of the neighborhood it's in. Orlando's Waterford Lakes region is a cluster of poorly designed traffic ways, impatient people and similar-looking storefronts, half of which are struggling to stay in business and half of which seem to not care if they stay in business or not (like this store, I'm sorry to say). If it didn't have the best Thai restaurant in Orlando, I would not bother coming to this area at all.

The bathroom here is just as disappointing as the rest of the place -- and the shopping area around it. In most cases, bookstore bathrooms are safe havens: Typically clean, quiet, civil. This place is anything but. While it is quiet, it's a smelly mess filled with water and paper, unflushed toilets and mildew-covered sinks. In many ways, coming here is like walking into a dorm room -- the people who should be cleaning it just don't seem to care enough to go through with the job and as such do their job half-assed.

The set-up is pretty standard (almost identical to what was found at Conservation Station in Disney's Animal Kingdom, only this is a tad roomier and it lacks the animal noises heard on the soundtrack to that location): A two-sink station at the front, followed by two urinals (set deep within long stall walls) and then two toilet stalls, the very back one being the handicap stall. A gray and white checkerboard tile pattern covers the floor, white tile covers the walls, except in the back toilet stall where you'll find white drywall.

The vanity is your standard Formica counter top, with bland white sinks and manual faucets and soap dispensers. An automatic air dryer is mounted just off the vanity so you can dry your hands. A ring of noticeable mildew surrounded the sealant lines of the faucets and sinks themselves -- pretty gross.

The urinals are nothing special, as are the toilets: Standard white porcelain models, nothing more. Both have manual flushes, and as such I found both the urinals and toilets in unflushed states. The floor was covered in mis-thrown and discarded paper towels, and the sinks were drenched in water.

Worse still is the stench in the place: Easily the worst-smelling place I've stepped in since visiting that horrid CVS Pharmacy on HWY 80 in Savannah, GA. Not quite as bad as that but still pretty awful; it takes a while for you to get used to it, if you do at all, that is.

Bathrooms in such locations should at the very least be manageable and reliable -- like what was seen at Rainforest Coffee Cafe, Huffkins in Witney, England, or Starbucks, (or to a greater degree, Bongo Java). Instead, we get something approaching horrific. Shameful, I hate to say it.

Marks out of 10:

3. Almost a 4, but the stench was so powerfully awful.....

Comments to the Management:

Need to patrol this place pretty regularly to keep it clean, not just at the end of the day. Also, increase ventilation and add some air fresheners. Automatic flushing systems would ensure no one has to walk in on someone else's leftovers. Use a stronger cleanser to remove all the mildew from around the sink. Bottom line: Make the place comfortable for your customers.

Bathroom at Zefferino Las Vegas May Just Be the World's Best -- It's That Good!

Zeffirino Las Vegas
The Venetian
3377 Las Vegas Blvd S, Ste 2095
Las Vegas, NV USA
www.zeffirinolasvegas.com

Where is it?

This restaurant is located in the Canal Shoppes inside the Venetian Hotel and Casino, between the Ann Taylor store and Simayof jewelers.

The first floor is more of a two-tiered lounge area, with a ornate bar, piano, some bar tables and a counter with iced down shellfish and the like. Upstairs is the main dining room, which you can get to either by elevator or stairs.

To go to the bathroom, and if you're taking the stairs, got to the top of the stairs. This will deposit you in a small sitting area covered with framed pictures of famous people who have visited the establishment (either here or at one of its other locations around the world) since 1939, when it first opened in Genova. If taking the elevator: It will drop you off to the left of that sitting area.

In both cases, the main dining room will unfold to your right, so to get to the bathrooms you will need to head leftward -- away from the dining room. (The restaurant's website actually incorporates the establishment's floor plan into its navigation -- a good tool to use before visiting, if you're curious.)

Once going that way, snake back, down a twisting hallway coated with various framed articles about the restaurants and some joyous Medieval mosaics, until you reach the end, at which you'll find the bathroom. The men's is behind a rather dainty door, simply and manly looking. The women's is behind a very ornate door.

What's it like?

This famed Italian restaurant, as stated earlier, started in Genova, Italy in 1939 and one of its original chefs, Gian Paolo Belloni (who's father was Zefferino himself), is credited for making pesto a world-wide phenomenon. The restaurant itself celebrates the reputation of the kitchen, as many of the wall hangings here are framed newspaper and magazine articles from around the world which tout the chef's skill, including more than a few saying that the Gian Paolo has made his famous pesto and pasta for the Pope himself.

The design of the place brings to mind the spirit of a twisted Venetian walkway -- something the Grand Canal Shoppes intimate but don't actualize. The entrance, as stated earlier, is large, grand and old-feeling, with lots of small corridors, twists and turns, and angled rooms, overlooks, dark woods and chandeliers. Upstairs, the dining room literally unfolds before you, starting small and then twisting open around a large rectangular pivot to reveal an extensive stretch of white linen tables that follows the perimeter of the facade (which overlooks the Canal Shoppes) and recedes deep into the belly of the restaurant.

Dark woods and dim lighting dominate the place. The walls are covered with those framed articles and other pieces of Italian or Italian-inspired art -- think de Medici re-visited and you've got it.

The service is uppity and very accommodating but not necessarily warm -- it's very professional, as what you might get overseas. Although I have not eaten here outside of its famed Sunday champagne brunch, I will attest that this brunch is one of the best, if not the best, I've experienced.

It features a sprawling set of tables, each offering a different variety of food. There is both a hot and cold seafood area, including selections like marinated tuna and in-house smoked salmon, as well as a hot bar containing an assortment of chicken, meat and seafood dishes -- not to mention the house's special pesto and pasta, which is indeed divine. There is also a selection of world cheeses, a raw bar containing halved lobsters, shrimp and other shellfish, a carving station, a pasta station and an antipasto area, containing an assortment of fresh and marinated vegetables and cold cuts. Finally, there is a an extensive dessert table, containing a minimum of 20 cakes and petite fours -- all of which are worth trying. It's a very impressive buffet in a land of buffets, if you will. Definitely worth a visit, despite the steep price tag.

On the flip side, the bathrooms here are beyond the notion of impressive. Even beyond the impression of being heavenly. I've been here twice, the first two a few years back, and on that visit the bathroom I encountered a tasteful one-bagger that was comfortable but unspectacular.

In between that visit and this, it was rumored that the restaurant had spent more than $2 million on renovating its bathroom. I must attest that you can see the money spent in every facet of this room. It's a truly regal place in every regard -- something more associated with a Roman Emperor than an Italian place in a Vegas casino mall.

And miles better than any other bathroom found in the Venetian.

In fact, it's so impressive here that I actually believe this bathroom bests any other I've experienced in this town -- or anywhere else, including such wonderful places as Wynn Las Vegas, Bartolotta Ristorante di Mare, Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino, Sensi, Okada and the Bellagio. It's even better than our vote for 2008's Best Toilet of the Year -- Mansion at Forsyth Park in Savannah, GA.

This is just an other worldly experience from start to finish.

So what's it like? After passing down the hallway leading to them, and marveling at the intricate mosaic work on the walls, you come to a modest-looking door, which in effect makes you think this will be nothing more than a humble toilet -- like the aforementioned one-bagger.

Step through the door and you're floored: This spacious environment boasts marble floors that look like they've been taken from a palace (I'm thinking the floors found in the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg, Russia, for example, even though the bathrooms there are awful and not at all indicative of the beauty of the rest of the place.) The marble work has beige and white checkerboard pattern, with dark brown and black outlines and highlights. The lower walls have a beige/white marble pattern on the, with black trim, and the upper walls are made of plaster.

Along the far left of the back wall are three urinal stalls. Each has twisted columns at their head, as well as a sweeping red curtain blanketing them. The stalls themselves are deep, with long floor-to-ceiling divider walls. The urinals are small bell-shaped units with automatic flushes.

To their left, in the back right corner, are three toilet stalls. Like the urinals, these are deep chambers, with gray and white marble along the lower halves of their walls and wallpapered walls on the upper. They are white porcelain toilets in their very backs, with storage chambers overhead and bronze toilet paper holders to their side. A heavy wooden door with gold plated latch closes the place off from the rest of the room, creating a very private chamber indeed. Lighting is dim but not overly so. Some toilet paper is stacked atop the toilet itself -- something I find decided European in its charms.

Across from the urinals and toilets is a long vanity area, composed of a single stretch mirror framed in dark wood, three bronze-metal spigot faucets with matching manual knobs and accompanying standalone soap dispensers, and a single-piece, three-unit flat, square marble trough, which doubles as both the vanity and the sink. Quite a spectacle to behold.

To its right is a toiletries station, which features plush paper towels, tissues and a mouthwash dispenser, along with disposable single-use plastic cups. (This was the first time I've seen such an add-on since visiting Orlando's Citrus Club.)

I spent a lot of time here, I must admit, and after leaving it to return to my table I felt disappointed. As decorative and classy as the dining room was, it paled in comparison to the elegance of this bathroom.

Worse still: When I returned, I was told by my dining companion that the women's room was even more regal, with sitting stations, waiting areas, extensive vanities and more. Next time I'm here, I'm venturing inside to see what I'm missing.

Marks out of 10:

12. If I could go higher, I would.

Comments to the Management:

You are worthy of psalms. Could I rent a toilet stall for a week next time I'm in Vegas?

Amway Arena Bathroom Really Just a Cave with Lots of Urinals

Amway Arena
600 W Amelia St
Orlando, FL USA
www.orlandovenues.net

Where is it?

This bathroom reviewed here is located near the entrance to the seats in sections 103-104 and 203-204.

So to get there, find that area via the signs pointing to them, look across the hall from them -- you'll see a large tiled divider wall (almost monolithic in size, really). Go behind that wall and you'll come across the bathrooms.

What's it like?

Orlando's main arena, home to the Orlando Magic and big concert draws, this large stadium seats around 17,000 for most basketball games and concerts. It's a pleasant enough place to enjoy such an event, though the echoes and acoustics can be a bit of a strain -- as much sound seems to get stuck in its many upper corners.

Like most arenas, it has a number of attractions, from various gift stalls selling T-shirts and other wares, to an assortment of food vendors, offering an array of fast food and such. Seats are of the plastic fold-down variety -- not too comfortable, but not as bad as other venues I've been to.

The bathrooms here are enormous, multi-person and cavernous. In fact, walking in one it really looks just like a being in a cave -- only this cave is lined with urinals along its perimeter.

And it's not as dank as the cave-like bathroom at at Pulkovo International Airport in St. Petersburg, Russia, but that's only because it's much larger than that. Still, this is very much a cave and nothing else.

Essentially, the facilities here consist of one long room. A barrage of sinks (all white porcelain, with single mirrors over them) covering both sides of the walls greets you once you step inside. Beyond that is a long single room that has dozens of urinals fixed to its left and back wall and a long row of toilet stalls along the right wall.

The urinals have no dividers between them, and black metal makes up the stall divider walls. Various posters of upcoming events hang above the urinals -- which is better than nothing, I guess. The upper walls are covered in beige tile, the lower walls with a drab gray tile. That same colored gray tile (albeit smaller) covers the floors, which is also dotted with small black tiles for highlights -- similar to what was seen at Theo's Kitchen, only on a much larger scale.

What's amusing here is that a lot of the fixtures are dated. The sink faucets, for example, are the old-fashioned turn-on variety you used to see predominantly several years back. I haven't seen faucets this antiquated since visiting the Delta Crown Room in the JFK International terminal.

Also, this is the only place I've ever seen advertisement stickers placed around the piping of the toilets -- a very strange place to place an ad, I think, since you can never really see the entire ad. So far, I've seen business cards and fliers placed in the bathroom (like at that horrid CVS Pharmacy in Savannah, GA) and I've seen printed pieces of paper taped to specific areas of the bathroom (like at the scary Goyan Gip Korean Restaurant), but I never have seen stickers wrapped around piping. First time for everything, I guess.

That aside, the place was pretty clean as a whole -- though I visited during the opening minutes of a basketball game, so few had made their way to the bathroom by then. I've made other visits while attending other events and the bathroom was far messier then. For this one, I found some trash on the floor, some spilled water and pee and some foul odors in the air, but nothing too horrible. (It's been worse on subsequent visits.)

Still, outside of the sheer size of this cave, there isn't much that's memorable here. Utilitarian at best, and best experienced early on in the game than later as it gets pretty crowded during halftime and on the way out.

Marks out of 10:

6. Really a 5, but that one visit, where I was the only person in there, really added to the experience.

Comments to the Management:

Update the fixtures and keep it cleaner when the place is being swamped -- both things I'm sure you already know, though.

Best and Worst Toilets of 2008

2008 proved to be a landmark year for Where’s the Toilet?

We managed to review more than 150 bathrooms around the world, including some in some faraway and exotic locations as Russia, Singapore, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Australia and more, and also visited toilets in some famous settings, like the Grand Canyon, the Hermitage Museum, Universal Studios Orlando and Grand Central Station, to name a few. Sadly, despite many requests, we were unable to review the toilet in the Minneapolis airport where Sen. Larry Craig was charged with “disorderly conduct.” Maybe next year...

Now that the year is over, we’ve chosen to post our second annual Best and Worst Toilets of the Year list.

So without further delay....

The Top 5

1. Mansion at Forsyth Park (Savannah, GA)

Easily the best of the year -- nothing else came close, and this was the best restroom we visited since our stop at the Wynn Las Vegas bathrooms (which topped our Best Toilets of 2007 list). As we said in our review of the Mansion, this is "a regal, marble-filled environment filled with amazing architectural frills, top-notch cleanliness and peaceful feelings."

2. Barrier Island Sanctuary Management & Education Center (Melbourne Beach, FL)

The best environmentally conscious (or "green") bathroom we visited this year, with a relaxing beach theme woven into the experience. "This bathroom has a lot of ambition and wants to be both stylish and environmentally friendly, and it pulls it off," we said in our review, "putting other high-profile locations to shame, really."

3. Pan Pacific Hotel (Singapore)

Quality is the name of the game at this luxurious stopping point, which features such high-end flourishes as walnut and veneer toilet stall doors and granite walls. "I could spend plenty of time in this place any time," we said in our review. "I look forward to my next visit."

4. Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino (Las Vegas, NV)

We visited plenty of Las Vegas bathrooms this year, and while none matched the jaw-dropping wonder of the Wynn Las Vegas bathrooms, this one, with its art nouveau decor and European feel, came closest.

5. Islands of Adventure at Universal Orlando (Lost Continent Toilets) (Orlando, FL)

The best theme park bathroom we experienced this year. Clean, quiet and practically kid-free -- the fact that it's somewhat tucked away from the park's major attractions certainly helps the quality factor, we thought.

Honorable Mentions:

Pearl Restaurant (Vero Beach, FL) -- A small one-bagger located in a homey restaurant on Florida's Atlantic coast. It takes the elegance of Vegas and brings it down to the everyday level, but doesn't lose the "wow" factor in doing so.

Bicester Outlet Shopping Village (Bicester, UK) -- The best UK bathroom we visited this year. Wood walls, Gilchrist and Soames hand soap, floor-to-ceiling toilet stall doors -- why couldn't the rest of the UK toilets we experienced have been this comfortable?

The Bottom 5

1. Southwest Indian Traders (Cortez, CO)

Not so much a bathroom but a collection of shoddy parts that have been put together without any care. The walls do nothing to protect you from the wind outside (and yes, the wind will catch you where the sun doesn't shine). The visible roof rafters above house dozens of cobwebs. And not all the plumbing works. As we said in our review, "Put an outhouse in the parking lot instead -- it would actually offer more comfort."

2. Kappy’s Submarine Sandwiches (Maitland, FL)

More the setting of a horror movie than a proper bathroom, this place features lights that grow dimmer the longer you stay and a used ketchup bottle containing watery, ineffective hand soap. "This is the stuff of nightmares," we said in our review.

3. Oxford Railway Station (Oxford, England)

The worst English toilet we experienced this year -- and there were some doozies! While it seems clean on the surface, the smell inside was overpowering and nearly every toilet was filled with excrement. Worse still, an attendant stood by the whole time, doing nothing. "Just a disgusting experience," we said in our review. "I wanted to shower after leaving."

4. CVS Pharmacy, HWY 80 (Savannah, GA)

The worst-smelling bathroom we visited all year -- with a smell so foul that you start smelling it from down the hall. A popular store like this should know better.

5. Uncle Bubba’s Oyster House (Savannah, GA)

Part of Paula Deen's restaurant empire and where the Southern food queen films her Paula's Party show. The place specializes in seafood you eat with your hands, like peel-and-eat shrimp and oysters, but the bathroom doesn't have soap to clean your hands with, or towels -- just Purell and a hand drier that doesn't work. As you can imagine, the fish odor here is pretty extreme.

Honorable Mentions:

Homebase (Oxford, England) -- A home repair store where almost everything in the bathroom is out of order and covered in filth. Word to the wise: Don't touch anything!

Waffle House (Walterboro, SC) -- A notch below the typical Waffle House bathroom, with plenty of grime-covered utilities and a not-so-heavenly aroma of trash and mildew in the air.

Bizarre Bloomie's Bathroom In Dire Need of Urinal (Among Other Things)

Bloomingdale's Orlando
3rd Floor Toilet
4150 Conroy Road
Orlando, FL USA
www.bloomingdales.com

Where is it?

Head to the third floor, then follow the signs to the gift wrap counter.

On the way, you'll pass through the kitchen/housewares department, then the glassware/china department, then the oriental rug department -- but not the mattress department, which is one department too far. So if you find yourself surrounded by mattresses and hanging pen lights, turn around and go back. You've passed it.

Near the gift wrap area, you'll see a sign pointing you both to the gift wrap area, elevators and restrooms. This sign is somewhat misleading, as it makes it look like all three areas are located in the same part of the store.

Well, they kind of are, but they kind of aren't as well. At the mouth of the area, the elevators will be straight ahead of you, the gift wrap counter will be to your left (down a little hallway) and the restrooms will be down a hallway to your right.

That hallway, coincidentally, is lined with small black and white photographs of seashores and such -- though the beige colors and marble tile work of that corridor do little to evoke the spirit of the sea.

That's just one of the many strange design choices to be had in this restroom experience.

Anyway, head down that hallway. You'll round a corner and come face to face with the bathrooms.

What's it like?

It's Bloomie's.

That means it's a huge department store packed with the latest fashions, hi-tech gadgetry, stylish design, airy aromas and tons of NYC socialite pretension.

For a way of life, at least superficially speaking, it's a bit much for Central Florida (though considering how many NYC transplants live in Florida, perhaps it's just an extension) but as a store, it's pretty sweet. Service is great, and those who are lucky enough to afford being "black card" members enjoy a slew of perks, like private sales, special discounts and more.

Better still: The place is pretty impressive to walk through, as each turn reveals more high-priced temptations, and each one seems to call out to you, begging to be purchased, or at least sampled and then pondered. Do I need this? Not really, but....

Furthermore, the store is a perfect fit for the Mall at Millenia (which has some truly wonderful toilets in its food court), with its stylish architecture, cliques of beautiful people and collection of chic stores and high-end eateries, like McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant, Macy's, Pottery Barn Kids and more.

But given all the attention given to floor displays and personally addressing customers, one has to wonder why that mindset wasn't put into practice when it came to designing these third floor bathrooms.

Not that they're bad, mind you. Rather, they're just downright strange and confounding. And not in a straightforward manner.

They look innocuous at first, and make a pretty harmless initial impression (upon first glance, you'll think they were just a glossier version of the Macy's toilets we visited), but spend more than a minute there and you start to wonder what exactly is going on here.

For example, this is a small chamber, with a single-sink vanity and two toilet stalls. That's it. No urinals (for a two-bagger men's room, that's strange), just two stalls, one small one and one large one for handicap.

The handicap stall is so large, it takes up between 1/3 to 1/2 of the entire bathroom itself. It's larger than the ones seen at the Main Street Brewery in Cortez, CO or the Kolob Canyons Visitors Center toilet -- and both of those had huge stalls.

But the stall itself is also around a sharp corner that looks like it would be pretty hard to navigate through in a wheelchair. Strange.

Another example: The vanity is made of single, sleek granite slab and has a well-lit and clean mirror mounted behind it, but it only has one sink. So that means you have this long, stretching counter with a tiny sink at the end.

Quite a waste of space.

There's more wasted space in the front of the restroom. After you enter from the main door you come into a little front room that serves no purpose except to showcase a lone photograph of an old car (crookedly hung too, it should be noted). It's not that good of a photograph, I must admit (when I think art and bathrooms, I think of the wonderful Mansion on Forsyth Park in Savannah, GA, not this.), but worse still is that this section of the bathroom seems to be a thematic extension of the hallway outside, which also contains some so-so photographs. Note to designers: Those photos aren't memorable enough to merit a reminder of them once we have walked past them.

Also, why bother is a greeting chamber in a men's room? Men just want to do their business in comfort and be on their way -- they don't need a place in the bathroom to chat it up, you know?

The sink is a shiny chrome Kohler Touchless model, but the sensor is mounted so high on the unit, and the water flow is so strong from the faucet, that it's impossible to keep the water in the sink while washing your hands -- just sprays the water all over and makes a mess of that long, long counter.

To the right of that are two paper towel dispensers, one high and one low. But the high one is stuffed into a deep corner of the place, making it near-impossible to reach easily and the low one is so low that I imagine even short people will have to crouch to use it. (They're about 3 feet apart too, which makes it feel like the designer was pulling a fast one on everyone who entered, no matter his height.)

The toilet stalls themselves (remember, no urinals here) are also a little weird. The smaller stall is a tight fitting place with a beige metal stall door around it. You really feel like you're stuck in a corner while in here. This is also the only place to have a good pee because you don't really want to go into the handicap stall in case someone needs it -- which in turn means that if you need to pee and someone's in the regular stall, you have to wait until that person's done.

The brackets fastening the privacy walls to the wall -- they have a pink thread coming out of them. Why? (Strangest wall fastening I've seen since my trip to the Venetian in Las Vegas and its poor attempt to cover a hole in the wall.)

Also, the stainless steel toilet paper holder here houses rolls of TP in two directions -- one vertical and one horizontal. Why vertical? Is that supposed to appear stylish? Kind of silly looking if you ask me.

If that weren't enough, there were dribbles of pee on the seat (more proof that a urinal is needed here -- you could put it in the front area, you know) and the box of seat liners stuffed into the top of the TP compartment was empty and mangled to bits. It looked like someone had come in to poo, saw the dribbles of pee on the seat, went looking for a seat liner, saw the box of liners was empty, and then tried to make the box into a liner without much success. What else could he do? Go to the handicap stall? Clearly, a urinal is needed here!

Then again, the handicap stall isn't much better. While the toilet here was clean, the white porcelain sink next to the toilet looked a bit high to grant easy wheelchair access, as did the soap dispenser hanging to its right.

Worse still, the paper towel dispenser was located across the stall from the sink. That means that if I were in a wheelchair (for example) and came in here to relieve myself, I would wash my hands on one end and then have to cross the stall to dry my hands. Where is the sense in this?

On a different note: The place was pretty clean and smelled very flowery from the air freshener pumped into the place. But then again, the pee on the toilet seat and lack of seat liners hints that this place isn't cleaned as often as you'd think it was.

Marks out of 10:

5. Too many strange design touches, most of them impractical and borderline offensive.

Comments to the Management:

Is this place supposed to be some sort of setting for a practical joke? It makes no sense. It's disorienting. Its poorly designed. Its got too much wasted space. Its practical elements are anything but practical. Leaving here, I thought I was on Candid Camera. Is that the intention here?

As for what to fix: First, start making better use of the space you have. Put two sinks in the vanity, not one. Place a urinal in here. Get rid of the sitting room. Fix the paper towel dispensers in places where people can actually reach them. Ensure the supplies (TP, seat liners) are in supply. Move the items in the handicap stall around so that they're not on opposite ends of the stall and a burden to get to, and lose the sharp corner going into the handicap stall, as it's a bit difficult to maneuver. Poor poor poor.

Funky, Homespun Beach Decor and Colorful Graffiti Can't Mask Wear and Tear at Coffee Cup's Toilets

World Famous Coffee Cup
512 Nevada Way
Boulder City, NV USA
www.worldfamouscoffeecup.com

Where is it?

A bit tricky to find. From the main entrance, pass through the dining room and towards the back wall of the place, keeping the dining counter/bar on your left.

Once at the back wall, avoid the temptation of passing through the swinging stainless steel door leading to the kitchen and hang a left, passing behind the dining counter and through a little hallway in the back there, which leads to the the rear of the establishment's secondary dining area.

Once through the hallway entrance, take an immediate right and head down a second, longer hallway, which leads to the very back of the place. At the end, look for the words "Banos" painted on the wall, along with an arrow pointing to the left.

Go left, then wrap around a sharp corner and you'll come face to face with the toilets.

What's it like?

This funky little diner was introduced to me via the Food Network show, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives -- which I don't necessarily find to be a great show but it is certainly harmless and it features enough greasy food to make your mouth salivate and actually want to visit such a place if the opportunity arose.

Well, my opportunity to visit such a place came on this western excursion, as a drive from Vegas to the Hoover Dam one morning passed us through Boulder City and the chance to eat breakfast at this self-proclaimed "world famous" locale.

Not really sure what makes it "world famous," though it was pleasant enough for a diner. While it's locked in a comfortable, sub-division-packed town on the shores of the ever-evaporating Lake Powell (about 30 minutes from Vegas proper), the vibe here is decidedly California surfer. The walls are covered with surfer decor, from boards to boating and water skiing photos to paintings of swim trunks (like the ones found on the door to the men's room).

More than anything, the decor of the place reminded me of Hurricane Wings in Orlando -- another land-locked establishment with a heavy beach-goer vibe. Granted, that place has its origins in the seaside town of Ft. Pierce. This place, I'm not so sure about. I guess there's a lot of sea-faring escapades done on Lake Mead, and even Lake Powell, which is about five hours further away by car, but other than that I didn't see much that was actually sea-faring here. Perhaps it's just a hobby of the owners?

Regardless, the decor is funky and homey enough to enjoy a decent breakfast in. And that's what we did.

We ordered omelets, and while one of my party found the Cali Omelet to be a bit bland (it had tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, green peppers, olives and onions in it but needed a bit of extra zing, he thought), my Pork Chili Verde Omelet was top notch -- meaty, spicy and enjoyable stick to your ribs fare.

With a name like the "Coffee Cup," you'd think the coffee would be out of this world, however (and I admit I'm a coffee snob) I didn't think the coffee here was anything out of the ordinary -- standard Maxwell House-style cup. Just wanted to mention that as well.

Service was friendly, as were the people sitting alongside us. It's very obviously a locals place and on early mornings, before work, and on Sundays, I can see the place being packed with all sorts of characters. I guess that's what drew the attention of the TV show, though honestly I never understand why one diner is better than another as long as the food's good. This one's certainly a major step up food-wise from others I've visited, like Steak 'n' Shake Winter Park and the atrocious Waffle House in Walterboro, SC, but as neighborhood joints go I'm not sure I'd take this one over such favorites of mine, like the Town House Restaurant in Oviedo (on which I would say this one, in terms of food, is on similar ground).

Though as with all neighborhood eateries and diners, that's always debatable, depending on where you live and what you like. For pork chili verde omelets, the Coffee Cup certainly takes top score.

However, when it comes down to bathrooms, I have to give the edge to the Town House Restaurant, my diner favorite back in Florida. Bottom line: While far from perfect, that place's toilets are cleaner and better put together.

The Cup's bathrooms are somewhat worn down, and I think that's part of their charm but it's also to their detriment. The lazy, beach-going vibe seems to have been the creative force behind this place's lack of upkeep and -- no doubt -- purposefully shoddy assembly.

The floor is covered with small white tiles and dark black grout -- almost similar to what was seen at Theo's Kitchen, only not as scary. (I think Theo's has better food, by the way, though this place has a better bathroom -- see how this is all relative and debatable?)

The walls are covered with a number of substances. Beige tile, much of it looking like it's about to fall off the wall because of the age of the grout, hangs behind the urinal and vanity. Painted blue particle board is found along the back walls, and what seems to be white-painted cork board makes up some of the side walls. Makeshift, this is -- though it still feels better put together than the bathroom we experienced a while back at Babys R Us.

Of course, given the lazy beach-going vibe here and the mass quantities of wood walls, you'll also find plenty of graffiti here as well. And believe me the walls are covered with it.

Some of the more noteworthy examples include the statement "Live Free or Die" written just below the toilet seat cover dispenser in the one stall found here. Why it was written there? I'm not sure, though in some light I guess you could say the statement offers some encouragement to those who need a little help expelling their pork chili verde omelet.

Also, a picture of a propeller plan with a banner reading "Eat at the Cup!" can be found on a the upper door to that stall (inside it, that is) -- clearly to give people some inspiration about trying the pork chili verde omelet after expelling what was already in their gut beforehand.

And I really liked the flaming mounting drawings that started inside the stall and extended onto the back wall, through the stall opening (when the door was opened). Very creative (and I guess it clearly shows how I spent my time while in here, no?) and a pleasing nice unified vision, if you will.

The room itself is small and packs in a lot of elements -- meaning too much -- for the space alotted. Not as tight as Club Quarters Philadelphia or at Petro Palace lobby or the SkyBar in St. Petersburg, Russia, but really, this is a one-bagger that's been jammed with items and because of that it really beckons a simpler layout or full conversion to a one-bagger. If more than two people were in here at the same time, it could get sticky moving around, and forget about privacy.

More than anything, the setup reminded me of the multi-person toilets at the Copper Rocket in Maitland, which are longer than this but pack in the utilities only in the very back of the place, making everyone who enters pool in the back and such. Both are equally uncomfortable in that respect.

Worse still is that the a lot of the items here seem to be falling apart or coming loose from the walls. The divider between the sink and urinal, for example, waves back and forth freely if you move it some -- that's how loose it is. (Makes the hole in the wall at the Venetian lobby toilet look like a minor blemish, really.) The toilet stall walls are in a similar state of disrepair, though they seem a bit more sturdy.

The urinal and vanity are kind of wedged together in the front of the bathroom, with the corners of the room pressing in around them some. The commodes and urinal are your standard white porcelain models, all in various states of wear and tear. The vanity itself isn't much more than a cheap cabinet and white porcelain sink set on the floor -- cheap and functional, nothing more, like something you'd find at a flea market, install and forget about (reminiscent of the vanity at Country Ham 'n' Eggs, only without the fake wood walls and Grandma's house feel).

There was also a bit of urine stink in the air, though nothing as bad as some other places I've been to (I'm looking at you, horrid CVS Pharmacy bathroom in Savannah, GA -- pew!).

A funky place, yes, though also a bit frightening from a bathroom perspective. Would return for the chili verde omelet, though.

Marks out of 10:

6. Really a 5, but the funky graffiti and the pork chili verde omelet raise the score some.

Comments to the Management:

Lots to be updated here, if you think about it. Decor-wise, you're doing great. But the tile needs replacement, the barriers need to be better secured, some of the fixtures need replacement and the smell needs to be freshened. Ultimately, the place would probably work best as a one-bagger. If you can do that, and still keep the homespun surfer decor, then you've really accomplished something.