Wednesday 25 April 2007

Ship Shape Facilities at Pottery Barn Kids May Creep You Out

Pottery Barn Kids
Millenia Mall
4200 Conroy Road
Orlando, FL USA 32839

Where is it?

Don't be fooled by this store's kiddie-friendly facade. The bathrooms are tricky to find here. Head into the store (not the regular Pottery Barn entrance, mind you, which is attached to the place) and head back and to the left, back and to the left (no, I'm not making a JFK reference) until you reach the back left corner of the place. Once there, you will find yourself in a crib room -- and behind that all is a little passage way that looks like the entrance to a janitor's closet, which of course adds a bit of creepiness to this situation.... But rest assured, it isn't a janitori's closet..... not in the least......

Creepy Segue That Explores The Truth of This Situation......

Of course, having said that, the place did require a bit of courage to get to.

We were in the mall for a cooking class at William Sonoma and of course I had to make a pitstop, so I suggested Neiman Marcus, which I imagined would have very sterile-but-functional facilities (like those at like-minded megastore Macy's). But my companion thought otherwise, saying that Pottery Barn Kids had a wonderful little restroom, perfect for what I needed.

Begrudgingly, I set out to the store, but once inside I noticed all the children and parents there, and the kid-friendly attendents, and I began to get creeped out. Literally. I mean, what sort of man can honestly go to the bathroom here and keep his conscience intact? Could I just go in there, ignore all those smiles, and do my business without offending anyone? I didn't think so, so I went back out and met my companion and brought up the Neiman Marcus suggestions again. But she didn't listen. She was adamant about my trying the facilities at Pottery Barn Kids and explained again and again that there was nothing wrong with going into Pottery Barn Kids to relieve myself.

And back and forth we went, arguing about this, and as we did, I noticed a man watching our conversation intently from a nearby bench and I began to get freaked out. I don't like people to intrude into my business, you see, especially when it involves going to the bathroom at Pottery Barn Kids. And when I saw him watching us, I quickly demanded my companion accompany me to Pottery Barn Kids so I could get this "situation" over with, and she did, albeit begrudingly. But the guy listening to our conversation followed us for some reason, and I suddenly got very scared, thinking he was the kind of guy who not only visited the bathroom at Pottery Barn Kids regularly but followed people who were thinking of visiting the bathroom at Pottery Barn Kids for a one-time shot. So we walked faster and faster, trying our best to ignore him, and finally we got to the store and to our surprise the guy walked right past us and further down the main drag, and in great urgency (I was scared now, you see) I went into the back of the store, entered the rest room, did my business and then left feeling very ashamed of myself.

What's it like?

Of course, it was all the worse because this was in fact a very pleasant bathroom. The decor takes on subdued seaside-nautical theme. Lots of white and wicker, as well as a good bit of woodwork and a speaker system inside pipes in some softly mood music, making the act of bathrooming all the more pleasant for the user.

And, of course, it was very kid-friendly -- steps leading up to the sink for the shorter tykes, lots of toilet paper (LOTS of toilet paper) in case the little ones make extra big messes, and classy fixtures that add a touch of elegance.

Bottom line: Creepy.

(Hey, taking pictures and writing about public restrooms is strange enough -- we don't need to add any insinuation to matter, you know?)

Marks out of 10:

6. Would have been a 9 were it not for the shame I felt after leaving.

Comments to the Management:

Add sign on door saying: "For Kids Only. Adults Please Use Pottern Barn Adults' Bathroom."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I work there and the restroom is for customers and their CHILDREN. You are the creepy one for using it. Shame on you!