Big Suprise (not really) -- Conservation Station Bathroom at Animal Kingdom Filled with Animal Noises

Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park
Conservation Station Bathroom
660 W. Savannah Circle
Lake Buena Vista, FL USA
disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/animal-kingdom/

Where is it?

Once in the park, head to the Africa area, where you will board a train to the attraction called Raifiki's Planet Watch. It's about a 5-10 minute ride.

After arriving, walk from the train station to Conservation Station, the main building of the complex. This will take another 10 minutes or so; you will have to walk along a curving, sidewalk-paved, canvas-covered path filled with various environmental exhibits to get there.

At the end of the path, you'll see the building to Conservation Station -- really, it's the only building there (around it are fences containing various animal petting stations (as in a petting zoo). The main entrance has a multi-tiered mural of animals over the door.

Enter the building. The lobby, as you'll see, is filled with more artwork of animals, many of them hiding in a painted (literally) jungle. To enter the attraction, head to the left of the mural; for the bathrooms, head to the right.

What's it like?

Conservation Station offers visitors a chance to step behind the scenes (to an extent, at least) at Animal Kingdom. At it, you can see where the park's animals sleep at night and where vets take care of sick animals and such, among other things. The building also houses a number of animal-related and environmentally friendly exhibits, several of which focus on man's impact on the natural world.

None of the information here is new or mind-blowingly original, but the fact that you can see various animals being taken care of, and get up close and personal with the insect world (via some slightly queasy exhibits -- put your hand on a sticky tree spider web, for example), makes it worth a visit. Also, this is the least Disney-fied area of the park and after a day spent in line at roller coasters and makeshift safaris and the like, this place feels downright refreshing.

The bathroom itself is a small chamber, with two toilet stalls in the back, two urinals in the middle and a two-sink vanity area up front. (If I didn't know any better, I'd say Noah designed the place.)

Decor-wise, it feels like a cross between some of the bathrooms visited at Universal Studios (like a less ornate version of the Lost Continent toilets, if you will) and the toilets at the Barrier Island Sanctuary Management & Education Center, only with a greater (albeit slightly less successful) tropical inflection (if that's possible).

The floors are beige with blue diamond highlights along the perimeter. The lower walls are white tiled with aqua tile highlights along the midsection. The upper walls are turquoise.

In the stalls, you'll find single sculpted accent tiles set above the commodes. Ones I saw included images of pandas and gorillas. Also in the stalls are small informational plaques that share some unique tidbits about the excretory functions of animals. One of note that I found entertaining was a plaque titled, "The Scoop on Poop." These plaques are cleverly placed on the back of the stall door, so you can read them while you're doing your business. A nice touch.

Another nice touch is the soundtrack heard over the P.A. On it, you'll hear a number of animals shrieking, roaring, chirping and such. It's a bit distracting at first (and a bit loud -- as if tailored for kids, so they won't ignore the sounds at all), but while you're doing your business (and believe me, a day of theme park food can lead to such interruptions), you'll be thankful for the noises, as they cover up your own well.

I wish I could say the same for the odors found in the place, which were quite rank -- especially the urine stench. I also found that none of the toilets or urinals I crossed had been flushed prior to my arrival. These are all on autoflush, so I'm thinking the sensors need to be checked out and tweaked some.

Also, the vanity was somewhat waterlogged -- about on par with what was experienced at the Lotus Blossom Cafe bathroom in Disney's EPCOT theme park. Clearly, there needs to be greater policing of this environment, to ensure cleanliness and cleanly air. Hard to do, since this is a busy place and the only spot to do your business in this end of the park (and the fact that you have to walk 10 minutes to get here, after taking a 10 minute train ride, makes the toilet all the more important to visitors). Something to consider.

Marks out of 10:

7. I liked the tile work, informational panels and animal sounds (to an extent) but but couldn't overlook the sloppiness of the place.

Comments to the Management:

Maybe turn down the animal noises on the P.A. a little -- kids love them, I imagine, but adults may find them annoying after a while. Also, the place could use some more regular cleaning, especially some regular mopping around the vanity, to keep things fresh smelling and dry. Finally, double check those autoflush sensors as they may not be working to the best of their ability.

Toilets at Club Quarters Philadelphia A Little Too Close for Comfort

Club Quarters Philadelphia
13th Floor
1628 Chestnut St
Philadelphia, PA USA
www.clubquarters.com

Where is it?

This restroom can only be visited by guests of the hotel, as the elevator will not take you to the 13th floor, where this restroom is located, unless you place your key card into the security slot on the elevator. (Those visiting the hotel and in need of a toilet should head to Davio's, the high-end restaurant attached to the hotel, as an alternative, since you do not need a key card to get into that bathroom.)

If you do have access to this bathroom, then you will need to take the hotel's very slow-moving elevator to the top floor (13th floor), which is where its conference room facilities are. Once on the floor, take an immediate left outside the elevator and journey down the small hallway just past the elevator shaft. The toilets are there.

What's it like?

I thought I experienced small toilets at Marathon Grill, which were very small but at least tried to cover up their smallness with interesting design flourishes. These facilities -- perhaps because they are not as available to the public and thus do not get used as regularly -- shy away from that mentality. These are indeed some of the tightest bathroom quarters I've ever stepped into.

Of course, what makes it feel so small is that unlike Marathon Grill, which is a one-bagger, these toilets try to accommodate more than one person at a time -- and as a result the space feels even smaller than it would if it were to accommodate only one person at a time.

The bathroom itself isn't more than 30 square feet in area, and in that tiny space it holds a sink, urinal, toilet stall, soap dispenser and paper towel dispenser. The walls are beige-painted drywall, the floors covered in beige tile. There are no decorations on the walls, and everything is kept pretty clean and in working order. Fixture wise, it's your standard white porcelain model, except for the sink which has this strange oblong shape to it -- making it look like a it was originally designed for an airplane bathroom but eventually rejected.

Opening the door to get in is a bit of a problem, because if you're standing at the sink at the time, both you and the person coming in have nowhere to go -- you can't get out, and he can't get in. A similar situation arises if you're washing your hands and someone's either at the urinal or in the stall -- they can't really move until you're done (and I imagine the person in the stall will have some issue with this, because he won't be able to leave the stall at all if someone's at the sink OR at the urinal).

Likewise, if you're at the sink or peeing and there's a person using the commode, you'll realize soon that there's very little privacy between the two of you. If I had to use the commode and someone was already at the urinal, I would wait until he left. If I couldn't wait, then I would have to start apologizing for the sounds I produced the minute I got inside. Yes, it's THAT cramped in here.

Marks out of 10:

5. Clean and well-kept, but just too small for two or more people to experience comfortably and without embarrassment.

Comments to the Management:

Turn this into a one-bagger. I don't see what else you can do about it.

UPENN Toilets Offer Many Options for Disabled and Non-Disable Persons Alike

Henry M. Watts Neuromuscular Disease Center
University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine
4th Floor
Philadelphia, PA USA
med.upenn.edu

Where is it?

The toilets are on the fourth floor of the building where the Neuromuscular Disease Center is. Follow the signs to the building and then head up via the elevator. The men's bathroom is right next to the elevator, beside the sign for the center (as shown above). The women's is to the right of the elevator shaft.

What's it like?

These are classic multi-person facilities in a public building. The design is pretty much standard for what you'll find inside any institution of higher learning. It's fully functional and clean but also a little sterile and run-of-the-mill. Then again, considering that it's at a medical research facility, you kind of expect that. This isn't Vegas, after all.

The walls are covered with beige tile and white grout -- both a bit worn but not so much to make them look like they're in need of replacement. The floor is covered with small dark brown tile and black grout -- a standard combination for public restrooms that we've seen used in many other places (it hides dirt and stains better), like Fresh Market Orlando or Total Wine Raleigh. Only here, they tile is a bit darker, better kept and cleaner.

(Apparently, the rule seems to be that if you're a store selling household items or foods, people will expect your bathrooms' floors to be clean and sparkling but in reality they will be brown and dingy and gross. On the flip side, if you're a location that services students -- who are supposed to be somewhat unkempt to begin with and generally speaking have better things to worry about than cleanliness -- you floors will be spotless and sanitary. Go figure.)

Feature-wise, the place offers everything in sets of threes: Three urinals, three stalls, and three sink-mirror stations. The catch here is that the third in each group is designed specifically for disabled persons.

The third urinal in its series, for example, pointed out from behind the beige divider separating it from its neighbor, allowing those with access issues a better chance at hitting the mark, so to speak. A similar concept was found in the sink, where the third sink of the series jetted out from the wall further than the rest. (Though, it should be said that the faucets were still along the back side -- something I see with handicapped toilets all over, and it makes me wonder if anyone in, say, a wheelchair ever has trouble reaching back to turn on the water. One would think it would be easier to to place the faucets in a location that makes them easier to grab? Just a thought.)

The commodes themselves broke away from the pattern described above in that the third stall was indeed roomier and granted greater access to handicapped persons, but in addition to this (which is usually as far as toilets like these go) it also offered a plastic booster seat placed atop the commode itself. The booster looked like it would make it easier for someone to sit and get up from the toilets themselves. Granted, the plastic booster also looked like it might not be too sanitary after a use or two -- I imagined, even after one use, it would look much like one of those portable compost toilets hikers take around with them (ick) so they can crap in the woods -- but on a per use basis it sure looked helpful.

Otherwise, this is a clean, relatively quiet bathroom that -- outside of its disabled features -- doesn't have anything very distinctive about it -- expect maybe the side-by-side paper towel dispensers, which looked rather futuristic, I thought.

Hmm... maybe this place is cooler than I first thought it was.

Marks out of 10:

8. Big ups for its disabled features, which are plentiful, well-planned and clean.

Comments to the Management:

A little decor might help. But then, outside of the people who work here and attend classes here, who would really visit the place? It's a lab bathroom -- so perhaps it doesn't really need much in terms of decor.

Cozy UPENN Cafeteria Toilet Offers Push-Button Help

University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine
14th Floor Cafeteria
Philadelphia, PA USA
med.upenn.edu

Where is it?

From the cafeteria, head to the elevator shaft and go on through, until you're in a cozy hallway beyond that. (It's filled with comfortable-looking chairs and a long stretch of windows that seems to take in the light pretty well.) Turn right when you reach that hallway. The toilets will be on your left, about 10 feet down.

What's it like?

These cozy surroundings offer visitors a tasteful place to make a pit stop. The walls are covered in beige wall paper, the floors are covered with off-white tile and metallic dividers separate the lone stall from the lone urinal. It's really quite comfortable and clean, making it perfect for longer visits (except during the lunch hour, when the cafeteria traffic is pretty high).

Given that it's really only got room for two, the place still manages to feel pretty spacious, if not a little old-fashioned (the result of the wallpaper). Thankfully, in this case, old-fashioned doesn't translate into old and weary. Most of the facilities here seem to shy away from technical advances we've seen at other bathrooms (including the disabled-persons-friendly facilities 10 floors below here). Paper towels are still cranked out manually, soap is dispensed via a wall-mounted pump, and the heater placed next to the commode (a nice touch, though a little antiquated) looks like it came from a 1970s student apartment.

Still, technology does rear its head around some. The toilets are all auto-flush, and the faucets are well-made automatic ones, releasing warm water instead of cold -- perfect for the cold winter day during which I made my visit.

While these qualities certainly make it sound like everything here is in tip top order, there were a few eccentric elements found that are worth noting. For one, the spare toilet paper roll for the stall was set on top of the paper towel dispenser, not in the stall itself. Naturally, this would make for a very awkward situation if the person in the stall ran out of paper and had to venture into the bathroom's lobby to restock.

Secondly, the same lobby has a large red button mounted to the wall of it, with a sign around the button reading "Press for Help." Now, I understand this is here to help disabled people who ventured in on their own and were unable to finish their business. Though really if the person needing help were in the stall he/she would have to go a long way to press the button, which made me question it's usefulness.

At the same time, being 14 floors above the ground (and with a great view of the city available to you just steps from the bathroom door), I took this little message as a call for something greater.... Perhaps it's all the Russian literature I've been reading lately?

Marks out of 10:

8. A nice bathroom through and through, and the eccentric touches actually had me thinking the toilet here was the equivalent of a traditional British B&B -- formal and cute, but with a bit of unique character to it.

Comments to the Management:

A very good bathroom that's well-maintained, except for that "Press for Help" button, which seems like it's in the wrong spot. Heck, if I'd backed away from the sink too quickly after washing my hands, I might even bump into it accidentally, and then think of the trouble I'd be in. Also, please store the spare toilet paper rolls in the stall -- this is a university, not a hot spot for public exposure enthusiasts.

Stylish Surface and Very Dim Lighting Can't Obscure Le Castagne Toilets' Wear and Tear

Le Castagne
1920 Chestnut St
Philadelphia, PA USA
www.lecastagne.com

Where is it?

This restaurant is located inside a building and not out on the street itself, which may make it hard to find to begin with for those who expect their restaurants to be free-standing buildings or at least to have an awning outside signifying where they are within a set complex.

Thankfully, finding the toilets is a little bit easier, but not by much. The dining room here is arranged in a unique manner: Think of the interior as if it were like the letter "P" (get it?), with the stem of the letter being at the front (where the bar is), the base of the round part being where the entrance to the restaurant is, and the remainder of the letter being where the dining room is.

Given that, you expect a pretty straightforward design. But no. The dining room is hard to spot because when you enter because you will see that the designers have placed many white curtains around it. This has been done, I assume, so as to provide as much privacy as possible for the diners, while also providing them with a bit of a dreamscape setting. It looks stylish, yes, but it's also a bit hard to navigate because it takes away the natural contours of the room, making it seem wavy and round instead of angular and straight.

Given that, to get to the bathrooms, head the back wall, using the bar as a place setter -- since it's entrance is also along the same wall. Once there, head to your left, deeper into the dining room, until you come across a small staircase on your right. Go down that staircase -- it brings you to a basement hallway where you'll find the bathrooms.

What's it like?

The restaurant itself is a very good Italian eatery that, according to its menu, serves northern Italian specialties. I actually thought the food here was more Roman-inspired, especially in its emphasis on roasted meat and seafood, but there are plenty of delicious pasta dishes and other specialties on the menu worth investigating, including a gnocchi alfredo that may just be one of the richest, most decadent pasta dishes I've ever had. Two bites, and I was ready to sleep. No fooling!

Not surprisingly, the toilets, like the dining room, show off lots of design flash. They carry art deco undertones, especially in their signage and colors (solid reds over matted greens, for example). The amenities share in this design concept: The two-station sink features matted metal faucets, free-standing stainless steel soap dispensers and wrought iron paper towel racks. Toilets were standard white and appeared in decent shape.

However, it is very dark in here -- as the pictures I've taken suggest. So dark, in fact, that I started wondering what the place was covering up. A little dimness adds style, after all, but a lot makes you think something's up.

After a little investigating, I found parts of the red wallpaper covering a majority of the walls starting to peel up in spots, and after seeing that I had a good feeling that perhaps there was even more wear and tear present there, only I wouldn't be able to find it without putting up some major lighting. (And my investigation was cut short because other people entered the bathroom and I didn't want to look like I was some sort of nut, so.....)

Marks out of 10:

6. Decent, except for the dim lighting and the bits of disrepair you find when you start looking below the sheen and gloss of the surface.

Comments to the Management:

Please add some more light to the place. It really needs it. After that, you might want to give the facilities a good once over to make sure there aren't any serious flaws that were obscured by the darkness. You have a wonderful restaurant, and it deserves top-of-the-line toilets.

Dimly Lit Toilets at Margaritaville Take Away from Place's Tropical Feel

Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville at City Walk
6000 Universal Blvd # 704
Orlando, FL USA
www.margaritaville.com

Where is it?

The entrance to this eatery is just off the main drag at City Walk and as a result is a lot lower-key than the entrances to some of the other places here.

Also, you don't really enter the restaurant once you go inside. After stepping through the dining room entrance door, you'll find yourself in a small enclave. The gift shop, to your right, is the most prominent sight, then the hostess stand, then a set of stairs, and then another hallway to the left.

Down the stairs is the restaurant's main dining room. The hallway to the left leads to the bar area as well as the bathrooms.

As your heading towards the bar, look for a hallway to open up to your right just before the entrance to the bar appears (if you reach the bar, you've gone too far). Go down the hallway and you'll see the toilets.

What's it like?

This tropical-themed chain restaurant location comes filled with decor that aims to replicate its Key West inspirations. Walls and floors are covered in sandy colors or faux planks, to mimic the look and feel of a deck or pier, and Buffet-based music (Island-rhythms, etc.) plays constantly on the PA system.

The menu here is what I would call Americanized Bahamian. There's a lot of seafood, tropical fruits, salsa and such, but none of it is too spicy or too indigenously Caribbean to scare people away (no Oxtail curry or pepper pot soup, for example). Expect to find some good conch fritters and grilled fish tacos, alongside decent American standards, like the wonderful "Cheeseburger in Paradise," an enormous patty that comes on a beautifully doughy roll.

And, as you can imagine from the place's name, there's a strong emphasis on drink. For example, the dining room has a large volcano in it that erupts every hour with margarita mixer and has that mixer flow into a giant blender.

Though it's very theme-park-based, it's still a fun place to dine and the food is decent on the whole -- and really it's one of the better places in City Walk for a decently priced quality meal (for example, nearby Emeril's can set you back a few hundred dollars for dinner).

The toilets extend the Key West vibe of the place. Though if anything they could be a bit brighter and well-lit. When I think of Key West, I think of sunshine and beaches, not dim lighting. As a result, the vibe gets somewhat lost here.

If it weren't for the lighting, I'd say the Island feel is successfully evoked here. The walls are covered with seaside murals and painted on fencing boards -- all of which gives an enjoyable, if not slightly tacky, tropical vibe. The sink here is a trough with three hook faucets instead of a classic sink station -- not sure why, since that makes me feel like I'm in a butcher shop or barn, but I liked the change. The water pressure is quite rabid coming out of it though, so turn on the faucet slowly and find the right pressure for you before putting your hands under, otherwise you'll get soaked from the splashing.

Toilets and urinals are separated from one another with black dividers and the urinals are set in deep divider corridors, allowing for maximum privacy. Except that the black dividers here make it even more dark -- not so much that you can't see where you're going (this isn't Shari Sushi dark, mind you) but still a little darker than you'd like it to be.

On the plus side, it's very clean here and about on par with what I found at the better toilets I visited in Islands of Adventure or Universal -- save for the wonderful Lost Continent facilities, which bested these completely. There was some left-behind strips of toilet paper beneath one of the toilets, but outside of that it was pretty clean here.

Marks out of 10:

7. Very nice theme restaurant bathroom. Would have rated higher if the place were lit a little better.

Comments to the Management:

Increase the lighting some -- people come to the restaurant to experience an extension of Buffet's Key West mojo, and the dim lighting takes away from the feeling. Otherwise, good job with everything else.

End-of-Terminal Toilets at PHL Airport Perhaps a Little Too Roomy

Philadelphia International Airport
Philadelphia, PA USA
www.phl.org

Where is it?

Beside Gate C28.

What's it like?

Gate C28 is at the end of the C terminal in PHL. Given that, and that these toilets accommodate only about three to four gates worth of people at most, you'd expect the bathrooms here to be a little small.

That isn't the case. These are somewhat sprawling facilities offering passing travelers plenty of chances to stretch out after suffering through the tight quarters of an airplane. I'm sure they get busy now and then, but on my visit I found them practically empty and very welcoming.

The bathroom here comes split into two distinct sections, one for toilet stalls and one for urinals; each area features a somewhat vast "lobby" area between the actual toilet and the sink stations, which occupy the center island here and serve as the divider between the two areas.

The toilet stalls, maybe 10 in all, line the entire back wall of the place and are roomy enough to get your business done in, but the commodes themselves sit a little too lowly to the ground for my taste -- makes it hard to get up after a long sit, if you will. Also, although they sit far from the main entrance to the bathroom, there is still little feeling of isolation felt inside, due mostly to the "lobby" area in front of them, which carries the sounds made by the people at the sink stations a little too well.

The urinals, maybe seven total, sit in the back right corner of the place and are lined up on the same wall as the entrance door and a baby-changing station. No, no one can peak in while you're piddling, but still the sensation of someone possibly having the chance to do so is certainly there. Adding a door to the entrance would easily solve these paranoid delusions.

Otherwise, it's a very clean place, easily on par with the other airports we've visited recently. The sinks are all metallic and shiny and configured with automatic faucets and soap dispensers. Toilets, with automatic flush, were all in tip-top shape and sparkling clean.

Marks out of 10:

7. I like the spaciousness but would prefer the place not carry sound so efficiently because of it.

Comments to the Management:

A door, instead of an open entrance, would be nice. I would also suggest adding a way to absorb that extra sound there, but I'm not sure what can be done without resurfacing the walls, which would be very expensive and burdensome, so....

Turn-of-the-Century Feel Dominates Davio's Restroom

Davios
111 S 17th St
Philadelphia, PA USA 19103
www.davios.com

Where is it?

This sprawling restaurant is about the length of one city block, with its grandiose, spacious dining room taking up almost three quarters of its space and its bar tucked into the back corner of the place.

To find the toilets, head to the bar. When facing it, go to the right and sneak down the hallway to the back right of the bar. The toilets will be there.

What's it like?

This high-end Italian-inspired restaurant describes itself as a "northern Italian steakhouse," however it feels more like an upscale turn-of-the-century dining parlor than anything else. The dining room decor, from its stucco walls to its light bulb-studded ceiling to its enormous and vast dining room, make you feel like you've just stepped into a chapter of E.L. Doctorow's "Ragtime," like it was once a place where union reps once drew masses and organized protests. (I asked and was told the building used to be a bank. Go figure.)

The menu, on the other hand, offers a mix of familiar Italian and steakhouse offerings, as well as some inventive dishes (Philly Cheese Steak Spring Rolls, for example). The steaks are phenomenal, as are the fish dishes and vegetable sides, which come prepared simply so that you can taste the freshness of the ingredients, and the desserts are near-legendary in quality (the molten chocolate cake was so rich I could only eat half the serving, which was small to begin with).

It's an expensive place too, and dressy -- not your everyday eatery, and great for special occasions. Ironically, the restaurant is attached to an inexpensive business traveler hotel I was staying at (Club Quarters Philadelphia). This made me wonder how much more expensive restaurants would be if were attached to a high-end hotel. Kind of scary if you think about it, no?

The toilets here follow the motif of the dining room, in that when you step in you feel like you've stepped into the bathroom of a turn-of-the-century parlor. They are not as spacious as the dining room, mind you, but they do make good use of space, particularly in the central area, which provides lots of room for visitors to maneuver in and out of places.

The lighting is dim (perhaps too dim, as you can see from the pictures -- perhaps the same person who lit this place lit nearby Le Castagne?), though it's used to good effect, especially the candles placed on the counters, which draw the eyes to the place's more decorative features. The walls and floor are covered with simple-yet-elegant tile work that feels both functional and sophisticated -- kind of like what I saw at Marathon Grill, but with a greater emphasis on grout work. The sink station featured antique-inspired faucets (not automatic), free-standing stainless steel soap dispensers and baskets holding high-end paper towels (again, reminiscent of Le Castagne, only a bit more refined here).

Fixtures were standard white but also felt old-fashioned because of the way they complimented the tile work. Stalls and urinals were separated by beige metal barriers, which melded with the decor thanks to the way the lighting was used. Clearly, the person who lit this knew what he/she was doing -- it's the bathroom's great unifier, if you think about it.

It's very clean and well-maintained. I stepped in three times over the course of a long evening and never found a mess or a smell awaiting me. If I had to complain about anything it's that you can hear the bar area a little too well when you're inside, especially if the bar's busy (as it was on my visit). Not to the extent of Soyka's in Miami, but still even when I was alone in here I didn't feel like I would have the place to myself for very long.

Marks out of 10:

8. Well-kept and very unified in design thanks to its tile patterns and expert lighting.

Comments to the Management:

I would suggest increasing the lighting here some, so it's a little easier to see, but that might ruin the turn-of-the-century effect. However, you might consider piping in some music so that people in hear don't hear the bar area so well.