Outhouse #11: Grand Canyon's Desert View Bathroom More Cave-like Than Desert-Like

Grand Canyon National Park
Desert View Bathroom
P.O. Box 129
Grand Canyon, AZ USA
www.nps.gov/grca/

Where is it?

When coming from the west into Grand Canyon National Park, and using HWY 64 as your entrance route, Desert View is the first viewpoint you will come across.

Once there, park your car in the vast lot found there and make your way to the canyon itself. As you walk, you'll see signs leading you to the bathroom, which will be the first building (it's a gray concrete building) you'll come across while heading towards the canyon. If you reach the Desert View Trading Post, you've gone too far -- turn around and go into the building behind that -- that's the bathroom.

What's it like?

Those coming in from the park's main entrance sometimes forget to journey to this part of the park, mostly because its the furthest east of all the viewpoints and away from the central action of the Grand Canyon Village. That's not to say it isn't crowded -- it's very busy, but tame in respects to the hustle and bustle found in the Village, which is downright urban by comparison.

Also, Desert View's vantage is not as epic as some of the others, as the view asks you to look left, into the canyon, instead of giving you the epic canyon view most people expect to see the canyon hit them head on the instant they step up to the rim (like at Grandview Point, Mather Point, Yavapai Point and the view of the canyon from El Tovar Lodge, my favorite of the lot). Not that it isn't vast, it's just that viewers has to work a little from this POV. Also, it offers terrific vistas of the desert beyond the canyon, including shots of many of the tall mountains you've just driven through to get here.

Still, the stop has a distinctive western feel. It's sandy, brown, and is centered around the Desert View Watchtower, which is historic stone observation tower filled with Native American crafts. It boasts some terrific views into the canyon (best for looking out into the desert, if you're asking me); just be willing to climb up to the top (about 50 steps, essentially) to experience. There's also a "trading post" here, though it's nothing more than a quick bite cafe and souvenir shop for tourists.

The toilets here are found in a monolithic gray building that kind of ruins the western vibe of the place. It's a large facility, with the women's room being on the back end (length-wise) and the men's room being closer to the main path.

The setup is pretty Teutonic: There's a front and back entrance, and essentially the offerings mirror each other from the entrance inward. Going inside, you first come across a small sink station, featuring two white porcelain sinks and two small mirrors overhead. Each sink has an old-fashioned pump soap dispenser above it (not quite as antiquated as what was found at the Red Canyon Visitors Center, but close). Some hand driers are fixed to the walls to the side of the sinks.

Behind that, closer to the center of the bathroom and behind a concrete half-wall divider, is a string of urinals, separated by beige-painted metal dividers. These are also white porcelain but do not have an auto-flush feature (which puts them in the same boat as the bathroom at the Zion Canyon Main Entrance Toilets in terms of non-environmentally friendly bathroom items being employed here).

Beyond that, taking up the center of the bathroom, is a row of about eight toilet stalls, each separated by your basic beige-painted metal stall walls. Again, nothing special here. And the pattern continues on the other side, with the urinals following the stalls and then the sinks again.

Unlike the Zion Canyon Main Entrance Toilets, which have a similar layout, the room here is long and lit by a row of windows built just below the roof line. Not too dim, really, though on a cloudy day you can see it becoming very shadowy here.

The walls and floor are painted concrete, and both doors on both sides of the place were wide open upon my arrival, making the place pretty drafty in its central walking areas. Not as drafty as the air-tunnel-like experience I had at the Southwest Indian Traders, but not far off.

Also, the tunnel-like design here lends a strong echo to whatever is said. If you're talking by the entrance, even if you're just outside the door, and even if you're not shouting, expect your voice to be carried down the way. More than anything, this is a cave.

But the draftiness eliminates most of the odors and the place was clean enough too, though there was some water spillage on the floors and a general dankness to the air of it (again, very cave-like).

Marks out of 10:

6. A definite step above the Zion Canyon Main Entrance Toilets, but not by much.

Comments to the Management:

The place is pretty drab in design and decor, so a little playfulness (some wall decor, etc.) might make it more comfortable. If not that, then at least consider closing the doors some so it isn't so drafty and the conversations of the people outside aren't as noticeable to the people inside.

Clever Cruisers Cafe Bathroom Brings Together the Open Road and the Commode

Cruisers Cafe 66
233 W Route 66
Williams, AZ 86046
www.cruisers66.com

Where is it?

Standing at the front entrance, with your back to the door, you'll see a small dining area in front of you, a larger dining area to your right, a gift shop to your left and a bar area ahead of you, elevated some from the rest of the place.

Go to the right, into the main dining room (going up a step up to do so -- that step has a novelty road sign beside it, indicating the step-up, which hints that people have tripped on it enough to warrant a novelty sign about it be placed there). Once there, look for Goodrich Tires sign on an outlaying wall above a table and a Route 101 road sign to the right of that.

Behind the outlaying wall is a corridor (between the Goodrich sign and the Route 101 sign). The bathrooms are down that corridor, clearly marked.

What's it like?

This friendly tavern/cafe sits at the intersection of Route 64, which heads to the Grand Canyon, and the famous Route 66, which crosses the U.S. and is a popular byway for road travelers. The business itself is in the small town of Williams, which is about an hour south of the Grand Canyon.

Clearly, being on that famous roadway has inspired this eatery, as the this looks and feels more like a garage converted into a restaurant and all the decor here is all about being on the open road. Roadster-, biker- and driving-themed items pack the place, including a bevvy of road signs, faux advertisements for various car-based goods (like the aforementioned Goodrich sign), and lots of clever car-based twists (like the six-foot tool box used to store the silverware).

Of course, taken at face value, it's just a theme restaurant with a car fetish. But thankfully the food and drink are wonderful and well-priced (and enormously portioned), making it a worthwhile stop if you're heading to Las Vegas from the Grand Canyon, as it's right on your way.

The menu consists of several diner favorites, like burgers and chicken and such, but they are prepared with much care and devotion to quality -- and you sense that upon the first bite. The burger is a mammoth half pound of fresh beef and taste gloriously of the grill it was cooked on. Salads highlight the freshness of the ingredients and quality of the house-made dressings. And the house specialty, the BBQ beef short ribs, are slow cooked on a smoker sitting out out on the front patios; they are succulent, juicy and enormous -- and smothered in a sticky-sweet sauce. Sheer heaven.

In addition, the eatery sits next to the Grand Canyon Brewery, a small micro-brew that produces six delicious beers, and proudly serves those concoctions on tap. Beers range from light and fruity wheats to crisp pale ales to hearty stouts. Though the brews are somewhat indicative of classic American west microbrews (lots of hops, origins in traditional German brewing styles), they also carry a sweetness to them and lighter body than you might expect, especially in the stout. Definitely worth a try if you're here.

Also worth checking out are the cleverly designed bathrooms here, which extend the car theme of the dining room to even greater heights.

These are one-room, one-bagger chambers, with one sink, one toilet and one urinal (in the men's room) -- each your standard white porcelain model. The floors are a regular grey tile (as seen countless places, like the Tamarisk Restaurant in Green River, UT and various Sam's Club wholesale stores).

But in addition those standard foundation elements are many other goodies to see and play with.

Like the dining room, the walls are covered with car memorabilia, framed photographs of classic roadsters and various hubcaps. The toilet stall is wrapped in a heavy rubber curtain, like the old stalls used by mechanics back in the day, and a pickup cargo bay (just the metal) of an old Ford pickup.

Yes, that's right: The actual cargo bay from the truck has been removed from the junky old car, repainted and stuck to the wall here to serve as the hard wall to the toilet stall. Very clever.

A similar trick has been pulled by the urinal, which for a privacy barrier has the removed door of a car. A nice touch.

Indeed, one of the most fun toilet experiences you'll have -- and the funkiest bathroom we've seen since our visit to Bongo Java in Nashville, TN. (Though I imagine if the place is crowded and you really have to go, those many distractions and decorations may hold up the line some.)

The place was pretty clean for the most part too, which I imagine can be difficult in a place like this, which is very kiddie friendly. Let's not forget how horrid the kiddie-friendly toilets at Island of Adventure's Toon Lagoon were -- and they were cleaned regularly by an army of staff. So I have to commend them further on that, since the place was pretty busy on my visit and clearly the toilet have been used several times before my entry.

Marks out of 10:

8. Just a really fun restaurant and bathroom.

Comments to the Management:

Not sure what to recommend. Clearly, you've gone out of way to make the bathroom fun -- and that it is!

Outhouse #10: Four Corners Port-O-Let No Different Than Other Port-O-Lets (Including Those at Expensive Wedding Banquets)

Four Corners National Monument
Port-O-Let #430
PO Box 2520
Window Rock, AZ USA
navajonationparks.org/htm/fourcorners.htm

Where is it?

Pretty easy to find. Just look for the Visitors Center. To the right of that is a stand for Navajo Fry Bread.

Walk between the Visitors Center Building and Fry Bread stand and you'll find a row of port-o-potties. (In fact, a circle of port-o-potties surround all the stands here.) Look for #430 and you've found the one I visited. Woohoo!

What's it like?

Four Corners National Monument has a sort of mythic standing in my life, as it seems to be one of the few places many people who have traveled across the U.S. have been, and of it they always say the same thing: "Eh, it's kind of a let down."

After visiting finally, I now understand what they mean by that statement.

What the monument itself is is just a point in U.S. geography, and when you visit you see a small cross hair marking indicating where Colorado, Utah, New Mexico and Arizona meet. That's it.

There's another Four Corners in the U.S., of course -- one in Virginia that brings together that state, West Virginia, Maryland and Washington, D.C. (click here if you're interested in the location of that one) but that one never receives as much press, perhaps because the landscape isn't as barren (can't say for sure, since I've never been that one).

Anyway, this experience is mostly about the "been there, done that" variety. The land itself is owned by the Navajo nation, and to get in you pay $3 per car to get in. You park, you go up to a small area surrounded by flags that holds a marker where the four states intersect, you take your picture, stand on the marker, take pictures of others in your party standing on the marker, peruse the stalls (about 20 in all) selling fry bread, T-shirts or various Navajo knickknacks, go into the Visitors Center for a short spell (which has a brief history of the place, along with more knickknacks for sale), use the port-o-potty and leave.

That's about it. Takes 15 minutes at most per visit, as long as you don't have to wait long to take your picture. If you see tour buses there, then you may want to be patient (or pushy) with your picture-taking.

Yes, a bit of a let down, but then again you're kind of glad you went because at least you can say you've been there and now you can honestly tell other people who are contemplating visiting it that it really isn't worth a stop unless it's on your way somewhere.

And of course, they in turn will say treat your remarks just as I treated the ones I was greeted with before my visit. So it goes.

Anyway, the port-o-let I visited here, like the monument itself, was nothing special. A standard port-o-let, through and through. It was about as clean as any port-o-let gets on the inside. Beige plastic unit with beige plastic walls, a beige plastic swinging door with a metal hinge lock on the door, a side receptacle for peeing, a central toilet filled with blue chemical water and mounds of human waste. And two full rolls of toilet paper, which indeed is a a rarity for port-o-lets, since their toilet paper supplies tend to run out.

The pee receptacle was crusted with various dried elements, making that a bit of a ghastly site. As was the sheer mammoth amount of waste in the toilet hole itself.

But the smell wasn't any worse than any of the other outhouses I've been to and in some ways it was a bit cleaner than some of the indoor toilets I've been too -- though not by much.

Even more amusing, I thought, was that this outhouse was more out in the open than the horrid toilet I visited at the Southwest Indian Traders (about 25 minutes away), which was attached to a building, yet this port-o-let was far less shoddier in in terms of construction and far less draftier than that one. Go figure.

As a bonus, it should also be worth stating that the port-o-let here was no better or worse than the one I experienced at a fancy wedding in Winter Park, FL some years back. Which of course tells me that the port-o-let experience does not change across income brackets. Spend more, spend less -- it's still a port-o-let, right? Right.

Well, except maybe for one thing: The Four Corners port-o-let I visited had GPS tracking, and the one I visited at the fancy wedding in Winter Park, FL did not. For that alone, I give the edge to this one.

Marks out of 10:

3.

Comments to the Management:

It's a port-o-let and doesn't try to be anything else, so what's there to recommend?

Outhouse #12: Bathroom at Grand Canyon's Yavapai Point Shows "Your Fees At Work" -- But Is That a Good Thing?

Grand Canyon National Park
Yavapai Point Bathroom
Grand Canyon, AZ USA
www.nps.gov/grca/

Where is it?

Head to the Yavapai Point lookout inside Grand Canyon National Park, which is a short distance away from Mather Point, which holds the park's most visited (and photographed) vantage.

Once there, round the small parking lot loop to the back side of it and look for the lone khaki-colored concrete building there. Those are the bathrooms.

What's it like?

The parking lot here is considerably smaller than the one at the Desert View lookout, which is strange because this stop feels about three or four times as crowded as that one. As a result, parking here can get pretty sticky -- best bet is to follow the loop to the end and park there, then walk up to the canyon rim (about 250 ft. at most), as this will allow for a less stressful time finding a space and leaving the lot.

Given that, this is a stop worth making because the view here offers a unique spin on the more famous Mather Point and Grandview lookouts. From here, you get closer to some of the mammoth formations jetting out from the side of the canyon and can get a closer look at the geological layers make up those formations; plus, beyond those formations is one hell of an epic view of the canyon. Some people actually use this lookout as a means to climb onto those formations for a more in-your-face view of the canyon. (Note: Mather Point and Grandview Point are more about the epic view instead of the closeups of those formations; though don't fault them for that, as they are great views as well.)

The toilets here are pretty straightforward in construction. It's a concrete building, medium sized, with a brown roof. Men's room to the right, women's to the left. Unlike the Desert View lookout bathroom, the ones here actually blend in with the landscape around them (must like how the bathrooms at the Temple of Sinewava stop at Zion National Park do), and they certainly convey the western motif found in much of the rest of the park.

Inside, they are pretty predictable and archaic. You walk in, and the sink station is to your immediate left. Beyond that are two urinals, and beyond that are three toilet stalls, two regular and a handicap in the very back. Beige-painted metal dividers (the same color as the metal entrance door to the place) separate the stalls and urinals. The bottom half of the walls are concrete, painted a dark beige, and the top are wood, painted a lighter beige. The floor is painted concrete - also beige, albeit a darker shade than the others found here.

The toilet stalls aren't anything special -- white porcelain commodes with plastic toilet paper holders, nothing more. The handicap stall is pretty roomy -- bigger even than the over-sized stall found at the Main Street Brewery in Cortez, CO, the green bathroom toilet stall at Eddie McStiff's in Moab, Utah, or the one at the Kolob Canyon Visitors Center in Utah.

The sinks are white porcelain, as are the urinals; both look and operate like relics from the pre-automated flush days, especially the urinals which utilize the old push-the-button-in-the-wall means to flush them. The sink has that push-the-faucet-button-to-start-the-time-limited-water-flow faucet on it, as seen at JFK's Delta Crown Room or IKEA Orlando, only not as effective as those.

The place is somewhat brightly lit thanks to the line of windows set along the top perimeter of the place. It's a bit dank regardless, due mostly to the concrete construction, but not nearly as cave-like as the Desert View lookout bathroom (or the bathroom by the small duty free shopping area at Pulkovo International Airport in St. Petersburg, Russia -- perhaps the most cave-like toilets I've been to). As a result, it's a little musty in here, though surprisingly I didn't smell much in terms of urine or other waste in the air, for which I was thankful. It's a popular stop at the park, so I kind of expected some stink here.

It's clean too. Some spilled water, but that's unavoidable in a bathroom where you can dry your hands only with hand driers (on the front wall).

Most surprising of all is the sign outside the door reading "User Fee: Your Fees at Work," which implied to me that this bathroom gets some sort of special funding. I didn't see this in the Desert View lookout bathroom, though I can say there is a definite difference between the cleanliness of that one and this one.

However, with that special funding help, you wonder why everything here is so antiquated. No automatic flush, old-fashion soap dispensers, old-looking sinks. It's very dated here. Why? Even the amenities at the Desert View lookout bathroom were considerably more modern -- and they didn't have special funding. What gives?

Marks out of 10:

6. A decent, though unremarkable, place for a pit stop. The amenities are quite antiquated, though.

Comments to the Management:

How about making those fees do a little more? How about some color on the walls, like images of the canyon and such? And how about updating the urinals and sinks -- these look like they are the same ones that catered to visitors from 1954.