Outhouse #11: Grand Canyon's Desert View Bathroom More Cave-like Than Desert-Like

Grand Canyon National Park
Desert View Bathroom
P.O. Box 129
Grand Canyon, AZ USA
www.nps.gov/grca/

Where is it?

When coming from the west into Grand Canyon National Park, and using HWY 64 as your entrance route, Desert View is the first viewpoint you will come across.

Once there, park your car in the vast lot found there and make your way to the canyon itself. As you walk, you'll see signs leading you to the bathroom, which will be the first building (it's a gray concrete building) you'll come across while heading towards the canyon. If you reach the Desert View Trading Post, you've gone too far -- turn around and go into the building behind that -- that's the bathroom.

What's it like?

Those coming in from the park's main entrance sometimes forget to journey to this part of the park, mostly because its the furthest east of all the viewpoints and away from the central action of the Grand Canyon Village. That's not to say it isn't crowded -- it's very busy, but tame in respects to the hustle and bustle found in the Village, which is downright urban by comparison.

Also, Desert View's vantage is not as epic as some of the others, as the view asks you to look left, into the canyon, instead of giving you the epic canyon view most people expect to see the canyon hit them head on the instant they step up to the rim (like at Grandview Point, Mather Point, Yavapai Point and the view of the canyon from El Tovar Lodge, my favorite of the lot). Not that it isn't vast, it's just that viewers has to work a little from this POV. Also, it offers terrific vistas of the desert beyond the canyon, including shots of many of the tall mountains you've just driven through to get here.

Still, the stop has a distinctive western feel. It's sandy, brown, and is centered around the Desert View Watchtower, which is historic stone observation tower filled with Native American crafts. It boasts some terrific views into the canyon (best for looking out into the desert, if you're asking me); just be willing to climb up to the top (about 50 steps, essentially) to experience. There's also a "trading post" here, though it's nothing more than a quick bite cafe and souvenir shop for tourists.

The toilets here are found in a monolithic gray building that kind of ruins the western vibe of the place. It's a large facility, with the women's room being on the back end (length-wise) and the men's room being closer to the main path.

The setup is pretty Teutonic: There's a front and back entrance, and essentially the offerings mirror each other from the entrance inward. Going inside, you first come across a small sink station, featuring two white porcelain sinks and two small mirrors overhead. Each sink has an old-fashioned pump soap dispenser above it (not quite as antiquated as what was found at the Red Canyon Visitors Center, but close). Some hand driers are fixed to the walls to the side of the sinks.

Behind that, closer to the center of the bathroom and behind a concrete half-wall divider, is a string of urinals, separated by beige-painted metal dividers. These are also white porcelain but do not have an auto-flush feature (which puts them in the same boat as the bathroom at the Zion Canyon Main Entrance Toilets in terms of non-environmentally friendly bathroom items being employed here).

Beyond that, taking up the center of the bathroom, is a row of about eight toilet stalls, each separated by your basic beige-painted metal stall walls. Again, nothing special here. And the pattern continues on the other side, with the urinals following the stalls and then the sinks again.

Unlike the Zion Canyon Main Entrance Toilets, which have a similar layout, the room here is long and lit by a row of windows built just below the roof line. Not too dim, really, though on a cloudy day you can see it becoming very shadowy here.

The walls and floor are painted concrete, and both doors on both sides of the place were wide open upon my arrival, making the place pretty drafty in its central walking areas. Not as drafty as the air-tunnel-like experience I had at the Southwest Indian Traders, but not far off.

Also, the tunnel-like design here lends a strong echo to whatever is said. If you're talking by the entrance, even if you're just outside the door, and even if you're not shouting, expect your voice to be carried down the way. More than anything, this is a cave.

But the draftiness eliminates most of the odors and the place was clean enough too, though there was some water spillage on the floors and a general dankness to the air of it (again, very cave-like).

Marks out of 10:

6. A definite step above the Zion Canyon Main Entrance Toilets, but not by much.

Comments to the Management:

The place is pretty drab in design and decor, so a little playfulness (some wall decor, etc.) might make it more comfortable. If not that, then at least consider closing the doors some so it isn't so drafty and the conversations of the people outside aren't as noticeable to the people inside.

Outhouse #12: Bathroom at Grand Canyon's Yavapai Point Shows "Your Fees At Work" -- But Is That a Good Thing?

Grand Canyon National Park
Yavapai Point Bathroom
Grand Canyon, AZ USA
www.nps.gov/grca/

Where is it?

Head to the Yavapai Point lookout inside Grand Canyon National Park, which is a short distance away from Mather Point, which holds the park's most visited (and photographed) vantage.

Once there, round the small parking lot loop to the back side of it and look for the lone khaki-colored concrete building there. Those are the bathrooms.

What's it like?

The parking lot here is considerably smaller than the one at the Desert View lookout, which is strange because this stop feels about three or four times as crowded as that one. As a result, parking here can get pretty sticky -- best bet is to follow the loop to the end and park there, then walk up to the canyon rim (about 250 ft. at most), as this will allow for a less stressful time finding a space and leaving the lot.

Given that, this is a stop worth making because the view here offers a unique spin on the more famous Mather Point and Grandview lookouts. From here, you get closer to some of the mammoth formations jetting out from the side of the canyon and can get a closer look at the geological layers make up those formations; plus, beyond those formations is one hell of an epic view of the canyon. Some people actually use this lookout as a means to climb onto those formations for a more in-your-face view of the canyon. (Note: Mather Point and Grandview Point are more about the epic view instead of the closeups of those formations; though don't fault them for that, as they are great views as well.)

The toilets here are pretty straightforward in construction. It's a concrete building, medium sized, with a brown roof. Men's room to the right, women's to the left. Unlike the Desert View lookout bathroom, the ones here actually blend in with the landscape around them (must like how the bathrooms at the Temple of Sinewava stop at Zion National Park do), and they certainly convey the western motif found in much of the rest of the park.

Inside, they are pretty predictable and archaic. You walk in, and the sink station is to your immediate left. Beyond that are two urinals, and beyond that are three toilet stalls, two regular and a handicap in the very back. Beige-painted metal dividers (the same color as the metal entrance door to the place) separate the stalls and urinals. The bottom half of the walls are concrete, painted a dark beige, and the top are wood, painted a lighter beige. The floor is painted concrete - also beige, albeit a darker shade than the others found here.

The toilet stalls aren't anything special -- white porcelain commodes with plastic toilet paper holders, nothing more. The handicap stall is pretty roomy -- bigger even than the over-sized stall found at the Main Street Brewery in Cortez, CO, the green bathroom toilet stall at Eddie McStiff's in Moab, Utah, or the one at the Kolob Canyon Visitors Center in Utah.

The sinks are white porcelain, as are the urinals; both look and operate like relics from the pre-automated flush days, especially the urinals which utilize the old push-the-button-in-the-wall means to flush them. The sink has that push-the-faucet-button-to-start-the-time-limited-water-flow faucet on it, as seen at JFK's Delta Crown Room or IKEA Orlando, only not as effective as those.

The place is somewhat brightly lit thanks to the line of windows set along the top perimeter of the place. It's a bit dank regardless, due mostly to the concrete construction, but not nearly as cave-like as the Desert View lookout bathroom (or the bathroom by the small duty free shopping area at Pulkovo International Airport in St. Petersburg, Russia -- perhaps the most cave-like toilets I've been to). As a result, it's a little musty in here, though surprisingly I didn't smell much in terms of urine or other waste in the air, for which I was thankful. It's a popular stop at the park, so I kind of expected some stink here.

It's clean too. Some spilled water, but that's unavoidable in a bathroom where you can dry your hands only with hand driers (on the front wall).

Most surprising of all is the sign outside the door reading "User Fee: Your Fees at Work," which implied to me that this bathroom gets some sort of special funding. I didn't see this in the Desert View lookout bathroom, though I can say there is a definite difference between the cleanliness of that one and this one.

However, with that special funding help, you wonder why everything here is so antiquated. No automatic flush, old-fashion soap dispensers, old-looking sinks. It's very dated here. Why? Even the amenities at the Desert View lookout bathroom were considerably more modern -- and they didn't have special funding. What gives?

Marks out of 10:

6. A decent, though unremarkable, place for a pit stop. The amenities are quite antiquated, though.

Comments to the Management:

How about making those fees do a little more? How about some color on the walls, like images of the canyon and such? And how about updating the urinals and sinks -- these look like they are the same ones that catered to visitors from 1954.

Clever Cruisers Cafe Bathroom Brings Together the Open Road and the Commode

Cruisers Cafe 66
233 W Route 66
Williams, AZ 86046
www.cruisers66.com

Where is it?

Standing at the front entrance, with your back to the door, you'll see a small dining area in front of you, a larger dining area to your right, a gift shop to your left and a bar area ahead of you, elevated some from the rest of the place.

Go to the right, into the main dining room (going up a step up to do so -- that step has a novelty road sign beside it, indicating the step-up, which hints that people have tripped on it enough to warrant a novelty sign about it be placed there). Once there, look for Goodrich Tires sign on an outlaying wall above a table and a Route 101 road sign to the right of that.

Behind the outlaying wall is a corridor (between the Goodrich sign and the Route 101 sign). The bathrooms are down that corridor, clearly marked.

What's it like?

This friendly tavern/cafe sits at the intersection of Route 64, which heads to the Grand Canyon, and the famous Route 66, which crosses the U.S. and is a popular byway for road travelers. The business itself is in the small town of Williams, which is about an hour south of the Grand Canyon.

Clearly, being on that famous roadway has inspired this eatery, as the this looks and feels more like a garage converted into a restaurant and all the decor here is all about being on the open road. Roadster-, biker- and driving-themed items pack the place, including a bevvy of road signs, faux advertisements for various car-based goods (like the aforementioned Goodrich sign), and lots of clever car-based twists (like the six-foot tool box used to store the silverware).

Of course, taken at face value, it's just a theme restaurant with a car fetish. But thankfully the food and drink are wonderful and well-priced (and enormously portioned), making it a worthwhile stop if you're heading to Las Vegas from the Grand Canyon, as it's right on your way.

The menu consists of several diner favorites, like burgers and chicken and such, but they are prepared with much care and devotion to quality -- and you sense that upon the first bite. The burger is a mammoth half pound of fresh beef and taste gloriously of the grill it was cooked on. Salads highlight the freshness of the ingredients and quality of the house-made dressings. And the house specialty, the BBQ beef short ribs, are slow cooked on a smoker sitting out out on the front patios; they are succulent, juicy and enormous -- and smothered in a sticky-sweet sauce. Sheer heaven.

In addition, the eatery sits next to the Grand Canyon Brewery, a small micro-brew that produces six delicious beers, and proudly serves those concoctions on tap. Beers range from light and fruity wheats to crisp pale ales to hearty stouts. Though the brews are somewhat indicative of classic American west microbrews (lots of hops, origins in traditional German brewing styles), they also carry a sweetness to them and lighter body than you might expect, especially in the stout. Definitely worth a try if you're here.

Also worth checking out are the cleverly designed bathrooms here, which extend the car theme of the dining room to even greater heights.

These are one-room, one-bagger chambers, with one sink, one toilet and one urinal (in the men's room) -- each your standard white porcelain model. The floors are a regular grey tile (as seen countless places, like the Tamarisk Restaurant in Green River, UT and various Sam's Club wholesale stores).

But in addition those standard foundation elements are many other goodies to see and play with.

Like the dining room, the walls are covered with car memorabilia, framed photographs of classic roadsters and various hubcaps. The toilet stall is wrapped in a heavy rubber curtain, like the old stalls used by mechanics back in the day, and a pickup cargo bay (just the metal) of an old Ford pickup.

Yes, that's right: The actual cargo bay from the truck has been removed from the junky old car, repainted and stuck to the wall here to serve as the hard wall to the toilet stall. Very clever.

A similar trick has been pulled by the urinal, which for a privacy barrier has the removed door of a car. A nice touch.

Indeed, one of the most fun toilet experiences you'll have -- and the funkiest bathroom we've seen since our visit to Bongo Java in Nashville, TN. (Though I imagine if the place is crowded and you really have to go, those many distractions and decorations may hold up the line some.)

The place was pretty clean for the most part too, which I imagine can be difficult in a place like this, which is very kiddie friendly. Let's not forget how horrid the kiddie-friendly toilets at Island of Adventure's Toon Lagoon were -- and they were cleaned regularly by an army of staff. So I have to commend them further on that, since the place was pretty busy on my visit and clearly the toilet have been used several times before my entry.

Marks out of 10:

8. Just a really fun restaurant and bathroom.

Comments to the Management:

Not sure what to recommend. Clearly, you've gone out of way to make the bathroom fun -- and that it is!

Outhouse Review #4 -- Bryce Canyon -- Cream of the Crop at 9115 FT

Bryce Canyon National Park
Bryce Canyon UT USA 84764-0201

http://www.nps.gov/brca/

Where is it?

This outhouse is part of a set of them found at the junction of Rainbow Point and Yovimpa , the very last stop on the Bryce Canyon motorway, which it about 20 miles inside the park (from the main entrance). It's also at the highest part of the park, at 9115 ft above sea level. The area features breathtaking overlooks that stretch more than 200 miles, as well as vistas of the southernmost part of Bryce canyon and the enormous rugged valley behind it, which makes up the Grand Staircase National Monument.

The stop is shaped like an elongated rotary, with covered sitting areas placed along the tops of the cliffs and a group of about a dozen cabins pitted in the middle. The facilities are located inside those cabins, four outhouses per cabin.

To get here, enter the park and follow the road signs to Rainbow Point.

What's it like?

Yes, these are still outhouses, but they are certainly the cream of the crop -- at least as outhouses are concerned.

Outside, the cabins are metallic and painted dark brown, to look like they are made of wood (a la log cabin design). Inside, the walls are painted the same brown color and the floors are made of concrete, painted off-white. They hold, like all outhouses, a compost toilet, rolls of paper and a fixed pump containing hand sanitizer (a nice touch, since the facilities lack plumbing).

Unlike other outhouses visited recently, these are spotless inside and out. I didn't find a single scratch in the paint, inside or out, or any trash or waste on the floor of room itself. Considering these are compost toilets, there was nary a smell about them. Part of that had to do with the gusting winds outside, but still for an outhouse it wasn't bad at all.

They were also impeccably clean and remarkably serene, considering the four-to-a-building setup. My visit coincided with a stop made by a tour bus full of elderly, all of whom rushed to the bathroom while just as I entered my station. Even with all stalls filled, I heard nothing of my neighbors and felt perfectly at piece. Few outhouses, let alone public toilets in general, offer such luxury.

Better still: It was just below 40F on the morning of my visit, and I poorly planned for this, wearing only a thin spring jacket to warm me up. It was cold outside (and got warmer as I descended the canyon, naturally) but the construction of these outhouses were so solid and insulating that once I stepped inside I felt comfortable. Not warm, but not freezing either.

Marks out of 10:

9. Slight stench aside (these are outhouses, after all), these are wonderful facilities.

Comments to the Management:

Kudos on every respects.

State-of-the-Art Barrier Island Center Bathroom Is An Eco-Friendly Wonderland

Barrier Island Sanctuary Management & Education Center
8385 S Hwy A1A
Melbourne Beach, FL USA
www.barrierislandcenter.com

Where is it?

Easy as could be to find.

From the parking lot, head into the main education center building. Once inside the front doors, you'll see a sign greeting you and pointing to the various exhibits inside, as well as to the bathrooms.

As indicated, the toilets are to your right, down a cavernous hallway with a big sign above its mouth reading, "Restrooms."

At the end of that hall is a stone tortoise sculpture hanging on the wall. The door to the men's room is to the right of the tortoise sculpture, the women's room to the left.

What's it like?

According to the place's officiate website, this is a "a modern educational facility with classrooms, an interactive exhibit room, a library, offices, auditorium, restrooms and a gift shop. The center provides a focal point for the Archie Carr Refuge and the associated barrier island by providing exhibit space, a presentation hall, and ongoing educational programs that promote stewardship of the area’s fragile natural resources."

So bottom line, the property is a nature preserve on the Atlantic coast of Florida, and the building is its exhibit hall and information center. But don't let that make it sound like it's just another science museum extension. That's hardly the case.

This place holds several unique exhibits showcasing the nature in the area. You can get a look inside salt water ecosystems, examine at how the region's subtropical climate affects plant growth, get up close and personal with many of the marine inhabitants, take some thrilling beach walks and more.

On the surface, the place feels like a neat locale for a school field trip. But it transcends the kiddie-friendly facade to become something with wider appeal. Anyone who enjoys Florida's natural beauty will enjoy this place -- because ultimately it's a celebration of Florida's nature, with plenty of hands-on experiences to be had, from cylindrical fish tanks to informative lectures to paved coastline trails that take you through mangrove fields, to name a few.

Even better: Admission is free.

And even better than all that -- believe it or not -- are the bathrooms here.

I know what you're saying: After all the national parks we've profiled here lately, and the outhouses, and other supposedly environmentally considerate toilets, how much better is this one to those?

A lot better. Simply put, this bathroom has a lot of ambition and wants to be both stylish and environmentally friendly, and it pulls it off, putting all those other high-profile locations to shame, really.

In fact, the setup and execution here are so good that it makes me want to revisit the other national parks, outhouses, and environmentally friendly locations that had first seemed successful in their green outlook (like IKEA Orlando, Nona Sushi, Whole Foods South Orlando and the lot) and re-review them, because really those are lacking the accomplishment and style found here.

Yes, it's that good here.

The design is pretty straight forward. It's a rectangular room, with all plumbing fixtures set up on the left side wall. On it, you'll fine a single sink station, two waterless urinals, and two toilet stalls (the one in the far corner being the handicap stall). On the opposite wall from those items is the hand drier and a garbage can.

The lower walls and floor are covered with slate tiles, the floor in one-foot by one-foot tiles and the walls in four-inch square tiles. Most of the tile is desert red/brown in color, though both the floor and walls house matted ocean blue tiles for highlights. The upper walls are painted beige drywall, with the tile line cut in a wave pattern. Thanks to the color scheme and wave pattern, the place immediately brings to mind visions of sandy beaches, gentle rolling waves, beached sea shells and sparkling sunlit coral, and as a result once you step in you feel amazingly relaxed. Quite an accomplishment.

Like the bathrooms at the national parks, particularly the ones at Yavapai Point and Desert View at the Grand Canyon, the upper wall across the from the fixtures has a line of windows in it, which lets in lots of natural light. Not so much that you squint at the brightness here , but enough to make the place pleasant to see. If you want more light, just turn on the switch by the main door -- in most cases, because of the bathroom's environmental stance, the lights will be off when you enter. There is a sign next to the switch asking you to turn off the lights when you leave, of course.

Because of the natural light, some of the deeper corners of the room get shadowy without the artificial lights on, but they are not so dark that you can't see what's there or not use anything (as such as the case with the Zion Canyon Main Entrance Toilets).

Beige metal dividers separate the urinals (one of which is lowered for children) and are long enough to create plenty of privacy for the user (take note, Main Street Brewery in Cortez, CO and Tamarisk Restaurant in Green River, UT.) Both urinals are of the waterless variety (like the ones found at the aforementioned IKEA Orlando, Nona Sushi, and Whole Foods South Orlando), only these have a sea shell pattern to them instead of being just plain Jane.

The same beige separator wall material makes up the toilet stall walls, creating comfortable, spacious sectionals that are both comfortable and functional. The toilets themselves are the least environmentally friend item in the place -- just standard white porcelain commodes with manual flushes. But I also like the fact that they're homey commodes, not the industrial ones you usually see in such places. It keeps the place honest, for some reason, and works well within the design. Auto-flush would have been a nice touch, but then again this place isn't about wow factor, it's about a meeting place for style and practicality, and that's achieved here with great success.

The sink is also not very flashy -- standard white unit with small mirror overhead -- but it's automatic and functional. Again, that works fine, given the environment. Strangely, there's no mounted soap dispenser here or in the handicap stall -- instead, there's a bottle of hand soap available. Not a big deal but something to consider in the future -- and perhaps the only shortcoming here, though hardly a hangup.

As you can imagine, the place is immaculately clean. Nary a drop of water or a bit of stray paper on the floor or vanities. Better still is a beach-like scent is pumped into the air, lending a strong freshness to the room. Very impressive.

Even the trashcan, that large black canister, is somehow given a sense of stateliness, thanks to the spotlessness of the place.

And I like that the walls are covered with signs offering various eco-friendly tips, which range from the obvious (turn off the lights before you leave) to the interesting ("Things You Can Do To Protect Our Oceans").

Taken as a whole, this is the pinnacle of eco-friendly bathrooms and should be what all other eco-friendly bathrooms should strive towards.

Marks out of 10:

10. A wonderful experience through and through.

Comments to the Management:

You've attained near-perfection, now reach further by adding auto-flush toilets and mounted soap dispensers. Though at the same time I kind of like the homey charm you have without it. Great job.

Best and Worst Toilets of 2008

2008 proved to be a landmark year for Where’s the Toilet?

We managed to review more than 150 bathrooms around the world, including some in some faraway and exotic locations as Russia, Singapore, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Australia and more, and also visited toilets in some famous settings, like the Grand Canyon, the Hermitage Museum, Universal Studios Orlando and Grand Central Station, to name a few. Sadly, despite many requests, we were unable to review the toilet in the Minneapolis airport where Sen. Larry Craig was charged with “disorderly conduct.” Maybe next year...

Now that the year is over, we’ve chosen to post our second annual Best and Worst Toilets of the Year list.

So without further delay....

The Top 5

1. Mansion at Forsyth Park (Savannah, GA)

Easily the best of the year -- nothing else came close, and this was the best restroom we visited since our stop at the Wynn Las Vegas bathrooms (which topped our Best Toilets of 2007 list). As we said in our review of the Mansion, this is "a regal, marble-filled environment filled with amazing architectural frills, top-notch cleanliness and peaceful feelings."

2. Barrier Island Sanctuary Management & Education Center (Melbourne Beach, FL)

The best environmentally conscious (or "green") bathroom we visited this year, with a relaxing beach theme woven into the experience. "This bathroom has a lot of ambition and wants to be both stylish and environmentally friendly, and it pulls it off," we said in our review, "putting other high-profile locations to shame, really."

3. Pan Pacific Hotel (Singapore)

Quality is the name of the game at this luxurious stopping point, which features such high-end flourishes as walnut and veneer toilet stall doors and granite walls. "I could spend plenty of time in this place any time," we said in our review. "I look forward to my next visit."

4. Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino (Las Vegas, NV)

We visited plenty of Las Vegas bathrooms this year, and while none matched the jaw-dropping wonder of the Wynn Las Vegas bathrooms, this one, with its art nouveau decor and European feel, came closest.

5. Islands of Adventure at Universal Orlando (Lost Continent Toilets) (Orlando, FL)

The best theme park bathroom we experienced this year. Clean, quiet and practically kid-free -- the fact that it's somewhat tucked away from the park's major attractions certainly helps the quality factor, we thought.

Honorable Mentions:

Pearl Restaurant (Vero Beach, FL) -- A small one-bagger located in a homey restaurant on Florida's Atlantic coast. It takes the elegance of Vegas and brings it down to the everyday level, but doesn't lose the "wow" factor in doing so.

Bicester Outlet Shopping Village (Bicester, UK) -- The best UK bathroom we visited this year. Wood walls, Gilchrist and Soames hand soap, floor-to-ceiling toilet stall doors -- why couldn't the rest of the UK toilets we experienced have been this comfortable?

The Bottom 5

1. Southwest Indian Traders (Cortez, CO)

Not so much a bathroom but a collection of shoddy parts that have been put together without any care. The walls do nothing to protect you from the wind outside (and yes, the wind will catch you where the sun doesn't shine). The visible roof rafters above house dozens of cobwebs. And not all the plumbing works. As we said in our review, "Put an outhouse in the parking lot instead -- it would actually offer more comfort."

2. Kappy’s Submarine Sandwiches (Maitland, FL)

More the setting of a horror movie than a proper bathroom, this place features lights that grow dimmer the longer you stay and a used ketchup bottle containing watery, ineffective hand soap. "This is the stuff of nightmares," we said in our review.

3. Oxford Railway Station (Oxford, England)

The worst English toilet we experienced this year -- and there were some doozies! While it seems clean on the surface, the smell inside was overpowering and nearly every toilet was filled with excrement. Worse still, an attendant stood by the whole time, doing nothing. "Just a disgusting experience," we said in our review. "I wanted to shower after leaving."

4. CVS Pharmacy, HWY 80 (Savannah, GA)

The worst-smelling bathroom we visited all year -- with a smell so foul that you start smelling it from down the hall. A popular store like this should know better.

5. Uncle Bubba’s Oyster House (Savannah, GA)

Part of Paula Deen's restaurant empire and where the Southern food queen films her Paula's Party show. The place specializes in seafood you eat with your hands, like peel-and-eat shrimp and oysters, but the bathroom doesn't have soap to clean your hands with, or towels -- just Purell and a hand drier that doesn't work. As you can imagine, the fish odor here is pretty extreme.

Honorable Mentions:

Homebase (Oxford, England) -- A home repair store where almost everything in the bathroom is out of order and covered in filth. Word to the wise: Don't touch anything!

Waffle House (Walterboro, SC) -- A notch below the typical Waffle House bathroom, with plenty of grime-covered utilities and a not-so-heavenly aroma of trash and mildew in the air.

Funky, Homespun, Artsy Feel Fills Bathroom at Remote Burr Trail Grill

Burr Trail Outpost and Grill
HWY 12
PO Box 1515
Boulder, UT USA
www.burrtrailgrill.com

Where is it?

From the main entrance, enter the dining room, head past the modest bar on the left (which, more than anything, is an opening in the wall that lets people sitting in that art of the dining room look into the kitchen -- with a small counter and some stools in front of it), to the small display of T-shirts of other novelties for the place, as well as regional beers and wines for sale.

Turn left at the end of that, passing a small cooler containing various baked goods, go up a lone stair, into the back wing of the dining room, and take a left after the entrance to the kitchen. You'll see a modest-looking door with a Rest Room sticker sign on it, as well as a piece of paper reading, "PLEASE KNOCK! BEFORE ENTERING. gracias."

What's it like?

This small outpost, in the minuscule town of Boulder, UT (which, according to research, has a population of only 225), isn't easy to get to. You have to take Utah's Scenic Byway 12 (or HWY 12) past Bryce Canyon and through the northern end of the spellbinding and vast Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, one of my favorite places in all the American West.

As a result, you will have to travel through some truly breathtaking scenery, as well as some very twisty, remote roads taking you through and over some very steep mountain terrain. (HWY 12 ends on beautiful Torrey, which is next door to Capitol Reed National Park.)

Boulder is in the dead center of the road and gives you access to the nearby Burr Trail, a very rugged road which goes from Boulder back through the Grand Staircase to Lake Powell.

The Burr Trail Grill is quite possibly the only place to eat during the journey from Bryce Canyon to Torrey. Given that, you'd expect the place to be a bit of a hole in the wall. Surprisingly, it isn't.

More than anything, this funky eatery works both as an art gallery displaying works by local artists and a comfortably little diner with some very good food.

Granted, the menu isn't expansive, but for decent sandwiches and burgers (and the meat here has some unique spices mixed into it, giving it a complex flavor you don't expect) to chili con queso dip (highlighted by chipotle pepper sprinkled over the top) to cold draft beer from local breweries, it does a fine job and makes for a welcome stopping place. The service is friendly and down to earth, the dining room clean. It's worth a stop when you're passing through.

The bathroom here is small, a bit makeshift in design (really, just a built-on closet the owners put in here), but it's got an artsy feel to it and some funky decor, which make for an enjoyable visit. More than anything, it reminded me of the bathroom at the Soho South Cafe, only with less wear and tear and a bit less pretension (and without the hordes of people lining up to use it).

This is a one-bagger, of course. The walls here are made of wood and painted in golden browns and matted greens. There are some basic wood shelves put up to house the essentials, like the paper towel holder, some extra rolls of toilet paper and a boot holding some fake flowers (as if it were a vase). The toilet paper roll beside the toilet is fixed to the wall via a horseshoe, which is a nice touch.

The walls have posters and paintings of area sites, like scenery from nearby national parks and such, as well as some locally produced artwork. The floor has some golden patterned linoleum tile on it.

The toilet and sink aren't much -- standard white porcelain, cheap-o models from Home Depot or somewhere similar. But they're clean, as is the entire place. And odor free -- you don't even smell the smells from the kitchen next door, which is impressive.

It is a bit noisy -- you can hear the goings on in the kitchen -- but it's not so much of a distraction that you are bothered extensively by it.

Not a great bathroom, but it's clean, homey, unpretentious-yet-artsy and comfortable, and when you're this far in the middle of nowhere, that counts for a lot. The fact that the designers tried to make it unique, artsy, humorous and comfortable for visitors says a lot, I think.

Marks out of 10:

8.

Comments to the Management:

If you can diminish the kitchen noise some, that would be great. Otherwise, this is a great, fun place, as is the rest of your grill and outpost. A joy to visit, I thought. Hope to be back someday soon.

Orlando Speedworld Bathroom Seems to Be (Unintentionally) Modeled After Surgeries Found in Horror Films

Orlando Speed World
19164 E Colonial Dr
Orlando, FL 32820-3701
www.orlandospeedworld.org

Where is it?

After paying admission, walk up to the main track along the main walkway there. As you do, you'll end up heading through a paved divide between two white single-story buildings. Both of these are concession stands: The one on your left (with your back to the parking lot) is where you can get hot dogs, hamburgers, soft drinks and the like; the one on the right is where you get beer (from what I saw, only Bud and Bud Light -- Budweiser gets a lot of signage here).

Just past the building is the main walkway, running left to right, and in front of that is the main seating benches, which stretch about 50 feet in the air. The place's quarter-mile track is on the other side of the benches; go left or right, to the edge of the benches, and then climb up to get a seat and a view of the track. (There are some other seating areas further long as well, if you follow the perimeter of the track.)

But at the junction, to get to the bathrooms, you must turn left and pass the concession stand there. Keep going to the next building, which looks a lot like that first building, and you'll see the entrance to the restrooms there, which large painted signs indicating which room is for what.

What's it like?

Tucked away in the near-rural environs of Bithlo, east of Orlando, this is Orlando's version of NASCAR's minor leagues. The complex is large and contains two distinct race tracks: One for drag racing and one for Florida's NASCAR league, called FASCAR, which includes races from stock cars, modifieds, and the like. Behind the main track is a pit for mechanics and drivers to prep for races.

It's an old complex and certainly looks like it needs some upkeep in spots. The seating areas are sketchy and shaky at best. There's lots of cracked concrete and trash. Yet at the same time it's homey and got character. For Orlando, a city that's always rebuilding itself, this place is old and worn down and a bit backwoods in appearance, but the people are genuine friendly and tend to be enthusiasts of the sport. Not exactly a place for everyone but certainly surreal and enjoyable in its own right.

The bathrooms are unique as well. My visit occurred at the start of races, so the toilets were empty and mostly unused. On the surface, they look like concrete cousins to the mass-market toilets experienced in England, like the ones at Bicester Village or across the way from the Tower of London. They are large, filled with many urinals and have lots of concrete. But those were also a lot nicer than these. (And I've been told that if I visit at the end of the evening, the toilets are truly horrifying. Glad I didn't do that!)

There is a strange, horror film clinic feel to this place. The walls and floor are concrete, as stated. The walls are white and with plenty of dust and dirt on them. The floors are painted deep red and have several spots where the paint has either been worn off or the concrete has been chunked out.

The red color plays a major role here. In addition to the floor, its the color that trims the supply cabinet closet door and is the color of the sign for the restroom outside. The red provides a sharp contrast to the whiteness of the rest of the place and really makes you feel like you've stepped into some haunted house or similarly scary environment.

The bathroom is set up in three distinct sections. The front area includes the entrance, supply closet and sinks. The sinks are the standard white porcelain fixtures you'll find at most semi-outdoor bathrooms, including many of the U.S. national parks, like the main station toilets at Arches and the Yavapai Point bathroom at the Grand Canyon. These were somewhat clean when I arrived, but they weren't exactly the cleanest sinks I've seen. The sealant on the edges was worn, and there were plenty of mildew stains. Also, for what was about five total sinks in all, only one of the sinks had a soap dispenser on it, and it was one of those generic supermarket brand soap pump containers (a red soap, no less).

The middle section is where the urinals are. Like at the Tower of London, there are two rows of them, each on opposite walls of one another and facing one another. No privacy barriers. Lots of chipped paint and gouges in the floor. No automatic flushes. Really, kind of creepy in its attempt at sterility.

The back area is where the toilet stalls are, as well as another row of urinals. The stalls are made of drywall and have bright yellow curtains for doors. This, of course, also adds to the clinical feel here. I know the designers were aiming for an old-style garage feel (like what's seen at Cruisers Cafe), but given the worn out state of the rest of the place it just ends up looking like you're walking into a black market doctor's office for an operation you really don't want but are being forced to get. It's creepy. The toilets aren't really that clean either (reminiscent of the ones I saw at Catherine Palace in Russia), which doesn't help either.

Worse still, if you're in the stall and a child runs by quickly, then the curtain lifts some in the after breeze and suddenly your assumed privacy is ruined. Not exactly what you want to have happen when you're on the throne and a bunch of drunk FASCAR fans are relieving themselves right in front of you, if you catch my drift.

Also, at the far end of this chamber is an exhaust fan. Not sure why it's there since the place smelled pretty ghastly, but the fan was covered with dust and cobwebs. Ick.

Finally, I was here in Florida's winter time. I am thinking than in the summer, the place is crawling with insects (as evident by the filthy exhaust fan). Top that with the summer heat and this probably makes for one truly horrifying and uncomfortable experience -- one that rivals the horrors of Kappy's, I am guessing.

Marks out of 10:

2. Pretty scary, I hate to say. I feel bad for women, who can't just pee and go.

Comments to the Management:

Definitely needs another coat of paint and some serious scrubbing. This doesn't have to be impeccable, considering it's really just a stadium bathroom, but if an outhouse at 10,000 feet high is considerably more polished than this, then some work is definitely needed. Aiming to equal some lower-end national park bathrooms would be idea.