Outhouse Review #1: Red Rocks Canyon -- Yup, It's an Outhouse

Red Rocks Canyon
Las Vegas, NV USA

http://www.redrockcanyonlv.org/

Where is it?

This national conservation area, located on the south end of Las Vegas (about 15 minutes from the Strip, via HW 215), offers visitors a chance to drive through the recreation area on a 15-mile car loop, with many marked stops along the way. The outhouse visited here is at the third stop on that loop.

What's it like?

It's an outhouse, that's what it's like. Did you expect something else?

This is a single-toilet structure, set in the back of a parking lot that leads to walking trails into the rocks behind it. Outside, there are wonderful views of the multi-colored stone and scorched desert, as well as solid vistas of Vegas beyond it. Inside, it's a white room with a compost toilet and a toilet paper holder, nothing more. It's somewhat clean but also somewhat -- it's an outhouse, essentially.

The inside of the place could use another coat of paint, just so it won't look so run down. Also, it would be nice if they included some Purell or something of the like inside to sanitize your hands with after the fact. And it's very stuffy inside, since there's no real ventilation and it's sitting in the middle of a desert (my visit was in late September, and it was hot then, but I imagine it's brutal inside this place in the summer -- hot enough to cook in, at least).

But then, as I said, it's an outhouse -- basic facilities for those in dire need, nothing more -- not a comfort castle in any means, so what can you expect? As an outhouse, it's above average. As a bathroom, it's surprisingly more clean than a number of restaurant and gas station toilets I've visited -- as well as a few homes. It smells a bit off, but it's an outhouse, so I guess it's supposed to. At least the view outside will make you forget any misgivings once you've finished your business, right?

Marks out of 10:

6. Not bad for an outhouse. (Did I mention it's an outhouse?)

Comments to the Management:

Needs another coat of paint and a Purell dispenser. Otherwise, not bad. The second best of the three outhouses visited on this trip -- and loads better than the one I visited in Winter Park on that strange occasion.

Outhouse #8: Delicate Arch Viewpoint Toilet Comfortable But Crowded

Arches National Park
Delicate Arch Viewpoint Outhouse
2282 Resource Blvd
Moab, UT USA
www.nps.gov/arch/

Where is it?

Follow the main road through Arches National Park until you get to the Delicate Arch Viewpoint stop. Note: This is not to be confused with the Delicate Arch trail stop, which lets you hike to the arch itself. This is for the viewpoint, which lets you look at the arch from about 500 feet away.

The outhouse itself is located in the parking lot of the viewpoint area. Really, you can't miss it, since it's the only building there (unless you count the many campers you'll come across).

What's it like?

Delicate Arch is the most famous arch in Arches National Park, mostly because it stands alone atop a sandstone ridge as if posing for photographers. It does indeed look very delicate and is quite amazing to marvel at, considering that it's the result of wind erosion. Though, upon closer inspection (and I didn't walk up to it, only looked at it from the viewpoint areas), you can see that it's really quite mammoth in size (compared to the people standing beside it), which in a way makes me think it's a lot sturdier than its name suggests. Regardless, an amazing site.

The viewpoint area isn't much more than that. There are two trails to be taken here -- one that goes about a half mile, and is flat and gravel graded, and lets you look at the arch from a bottom vantage. Not a great view, but not bad and certainly mindful of those who can't make the actual hike to the arch or take the other trail here.

The second trail is about a mile long and starts out easily enough but soon takes an upward turn, with some steep inclines, taking you up to a higher vantage that lets you look at the arch from the top of a ridge that's just across a small valley from the arch itself. This was a pretty hard hike, mostly because you expected it to be easier after tackling the first one. But the inclines are steep and the heat of the park gets to you, making it a much more strenuous walk than you first expected.

Ironically, the views aren't that different from above vs. the one below, which makes me wonder why I just didn't take the plunge and hike to the arch itself. I imagine the hike couldn't have been much more strenuous than what we already did to get to the higher viewpoint.

Anyway, the outhouse in the parking lot here is definitely a step up from some of the other outhouses we've visited. Not quite on par with the one visited at Rainbow Point in Bryce Canyon, which was borderline divine, but not to far off from that level of quality either.

As with the other outhouses we've visited, this one is pretty simplistic in design: Small chamber with a compost toilet, a toilet paper dispenser, some handicap support beams, a vent in the wall and a warning sign, asking you not to throw trash down the toilet.

About the sign: This one, actually, was a bit more honest in its message than the others we've seen, reading, "PLEASE do not throw trash in toilet. It is extremely difficult to remove. THANK YOU."

Ironically, the bathroom also had a trash can in it, to help people fulfill this request -- something nearly all other outhouses seem to lack. Normally, the trash can is outside them, but it actually makes more sense to have it inside here. Go figure.

The walls here are white, and the floor is blue-painted concrete. The commode sits on a little step/elevated area on the floor, which looks nice but actually may cause trouble for those with shorter legs. This is not one of those environments, really, where you dangle your feet over the side and have your legs touching the side of the commode -- these are unisex environments, so you always have to be mindful about men who miss the mark.

On the whole, the place is pretty clean and odor-free -- and I give the designers kudos on the later, seeing that the toilet itself is placed right next to a vent in the wall. Sure, there is a tinge of urine here, but that vent really does a good job in airing the place out some.

Little things like that elevate the experience, to be honest. But be warned that this is one of the most popular stops in the park, and it is very crowded here. There was a line for the toilet when I visited, which kept me waiting a little longer than I would have liked (not like you can just pee on a rock somewhere, because the area itself doesn't have many spots for privacy, no trees and such).

Also, once you're inside, you can hear the people outside quite well, and if they're in a hurry to get in, they will not be shy about sharing those thoughts with it. And if you've got some noisy rumblings in your tummy that are waiting to get out, they will hear every last pop out of you.

Of course, your options are limited here, but it's still something to consider when planning your visit.

Marks out of 10:

7. A comfortable outhouse with some simple, yet well-planned, design improvements. If only the outside world wasn't so apparent inside. Still, this is a better place to visit than some indoor bathrooms I've been to.

Comments to the Management:

Not sure what to recommend here. If you could increase the quiet factor and separate the outside world from the inside world better, that would be great. But at the same time, this is just an outhouse, and it has to stay as that.... so I'm clueless here, I'm afraid.

Outhouse #6: Kolob Canyons Observation Area Toilets Are Filthy and Rust-Filled -- Ick

Kolob Canyons Visitors Center
3752 E Kolob Canyon Rd
New Harmony, UT‎ USA
utah.com/nationalparks/zion.htm

Where is it?

As stated in our Kolob Canyon Visitors Center toilet review, the observation area here requires taking a five-mile drive past the Visitors Center, into the mountain range behind it. (This is a paved road and it's a bit windy, but nothing too terrible.)

Once there, you find a parking area that has trails to various lookout points, as well as a central outhouse building, containing a handful of multi-sex chambers. The outhouse is pretty hard to miss too, considering that the overlook parking area is small and unidirectional -- you'll have to pass the outhouses either on your way in or out, no matter whether you park or just drive through.

What's it like?

On the outside, the outhouses here look a lot like the top-notch outhouses visited at Rainbow Point in Bryce Canyon. They look like a little log cabin -- and because very few people visit this part of the park compared to the lower canyon attractions at the main Zion Park entrance, you expect these to be pretty clean.

Sadly, that isn't the case. This place, while not a total train wreck, was pretty filthy inside. The floor, walls and amenities were covered in rust and what looked -- and smelled -- like urine, as well as some mis-thrown used toilet paper.

The chamber itself isn't much -- about eight feet by eight feet, a standard outhouse in size. It's got a compost toilet in the back corner, a skylight overhead (which actually does a better job of lighting this place than the toilets at the main Zion Park entrance), a couple rolls of toilet paper fixed to the walls, a warning sign asking you not to throw trash into the toilet (though nothing saying you shouldn't throw it on the floor) and that's about it. The floor is concrete, and despite the wood-like exterior, the inside is just sheet metal.

Also, it's a drafty place and you really feel the elements when inside, especially the wind when it blows (and it does often, since you're at about 8,000 feet when you're here).

The views outside are breathtaking, as you can imagine. But inside is a different story. This is definitely a rustic (and rust-filled) spot to relieve yourself -- the woods around you feel much cleaner, believe it or not.

In this case, it may be best to hold it in until you can make it back to the Kolob Canyon Visitors Center. Those aren't great facilities either, but they are much better than what you'll find here.

Marks out of 10:

4. An outhouse, yes, but there are still standards to adhere to.

Comments to the Management:

Clearly, "little used" also means "little cleaned." Enough said.

Outhouse Review #2: Zion National Park -- Stinky Yet Serene

Zion National Park
Springdale, UT USA 84767

http://www.nps.gov/zion/

Where is it?

These facilities are located at the Temple of Sinewava area of the park, which is the last stop on the bus route that goes through the park.

What's it like?

These bathrooms, found at the mouth of the Riverside Walk trail at Zion (which lead you to the Virgin River and the mouth of the canyon), work much like mass market facilities, in that they can accommodate several people at a time instead of just one (like a regular outhouse).

Design wise, the building they are in matches well with the stunning rock vistas around it, and the wood composition makes it look like a facility one would use in frontier times. They offer running water and flush urinals and toilets, which makes them more like traditional toilets than outhouses. However, they are also located in the middle of the wilderness and smell sharply of urine and waste -- like a regular outhouse. They are somewhat clean, however expect to see lots of trash, mis-thrown paper towels and mud on the floor, as well as some obvious signs of wear and tear. Also, the stench inside can be so sharp at times that you may want to hurry your stop in order to return to the fresh air outside.

Note: The toilets here are also located at one of the most popular stops on the Zion tram, so expect to hear and see lots of traffic, both inside the toilets and out. Lots of tour groups use the sitting area at the base of the stop as a place to eat lunch or gather with other group members who have gone off to do their own thing (it was so busy I couldn't get a free moment to take a picture of the interior -- sorry). Not really a place for privacy, but then again you don't have any other choice because of the location.

Marks out of 10:

5. It's the only game in town, and though it's not terrible it's not nearly as eloquent, private or clean as the outhouse visited in Bryce Canyon (review coming soon).

Comments to the Management:

Needs a complete overhaul, including paint job and updating of fixtures. Needs a serious deep cleaning too -- and adding in some air fresheners wouldn't hurt (unless it attracted animals, of course).

Kolob Canyons Visitors Center Toilets: Not Quite an Outhouse, But Not Far Off Either

Kolob Canyons Visitors Center
3752 E Kolob Canyon Rd
New Harmony, UT‎ USA
utah.com/nationalparks/zion.htm

Where is it?

Just to the left of the main entrance to the visitor's center (don't go in). Since this is a pretty small building, the bathrooms are pretty easy to find.

What's it like?

Kolob Canyons make up the upper section of Zion National Park. To get there, you have to travel about 40 miles north of the main Zion exit on Interstate 15, at which you'll see an exit leading you to the entrance of this part of the park. From there, you pay for admission at the aforementioned visitors center and then drive 5 miles into the mountains to see the canyons from an overlook area.

This section of the park offers far less user-friendly options than Zion proper, mind you, unless you're a hiker (there are dozens of hiking paths here that take you deep into the back country). However, it's also far less crowded (our Zion portion of the trip put us in the middle of many thick crowds, while here there were maybe about five cars' worth of people at most) and the amount of quiet you experience is astonishing.

Plus, the views of the mountains, valleys and plateaus are breathtaking, primarily since your vantage point is much higher than in Zion proper, which positions you on the canyon floor looking up. Definitely worth the trip if you can make it -- as said, a paved road takes you from the entrance to an observation area in the middle of the mountain range. From there, you have several hiking options, which range from moderate to hard in terms of difficulty.

While there is an outhouse at the observation area (review coming next week), people are still encouraged to use the one at the visitors center, since it has running water and heat and a few other modern conveniences (like electric light).

Though outside of that, the bathroom itself isn't too far removed from its outhouse brethren. It's very plainly designed, with painted concrete walls and a red-brick tile floor that's reminiscent (albeit cleaner) than the similar-looking floor at Fresh Market Orlando, among other places.

It's a pretty large space too, considering the limited options available to you -- quite a contrast to such recent stops at the World Famous Coffee Cup Cafe, which pack in too much for the space allotted.

Here, you'll find one urinal, one large vanity area with two sinks, and one toilet stall -- with a whole lot of common area in the middle of it. (And I don't mean to infer that this place has a basketball court for a common area, but it's still pretty large -- maybe 10 feet by five feet, which feels too big for the fact that it's essentially a one-bagger masking itself as a two-bagger.

Given that space, it's funny to see that the urinal is pressed up pretty close to the vanity area (why not put it somewhere else, where there's more room?), with only a flimsy off-white metal divider separating it from the vanity counter.

The stall (with a divider made of the same flimsy off-white metal as the urinal divider) is at the far end of the place, and it's a roomy stall indeed -- long and wide enough to take up about one fourth of the bathroom area in all. (Not monstrously wide, but still it feels bigger -- and definitely longer -- than it needs to be.)

The vanity isn't much to look at: A pale red particle-board counter housing two while porcelain sink basins. Single-knob faucets (the old-fashioned ones with those twisty knobs on them) sit atop them, with a cheap stretch mirror hanging behind the vanity and a plastic soap dispenser glued to the middle of the mirror. To the far left is a hand drier (no towels here) -- a chrome one with a weathered-looking finish (clearly, it's seen better days).

Dim fluorescent lighting illuminates the place, along with the help of some natural light that peers in through the windows in the back corner, at the top of the toilet stall. The place is somewhat drafty, as expected given the vast amount of space here and the high altitude in which it's located. (I have a feeling the place is closed in the winter -- if not, expect a very chilly visit!)

The room is pretty clean on the whole, though there's a good deal of wear and tear to be found: The walls are chipped in spots, as is the floor and vanity, and there are some water stains here and there on the porcelain.

Though overall it's fine and functional. The air is a bit dank and tinged with urine -- with a smell similar to the one experienced at the Little Pee Dee State Farmer's Market, only without the hints of chemical in the air.

Still, if you're on the highway and in need of a stop, this place is easy to find and ready and waiting. You could do worse, especially considering the limited options available to you in this part of the country.

Marks out of 10:

6. Functional and clean, but that's about it. Not terrible, but it's still about as close to an outhouse as I've ever seen a regular bathroom be, really.

Comments to the Management:

I realize you don't get a lot of visitors, but I think a new coat of paint and some general touching up will do wonders here, as would adding a heater and putting up a few posters of the mountains around you for some local color.

Outhouse #9: Southwest Indian Traders Home to World's Shoddiest and Draftiest Toilet

Southwest Indian Traders
3840 US Hwy 160-491
Cortez, CO USA

Where is it?

Not in the store.

Rather, when facing the front entrance, head to the right (southeast) side of the building. At the end of the front corner, turn left. You'll find two abandoned 1950s-styled T-birds (at least, that's what they looked like), sitting one in behind the other against the side of the building. Behind them, in a second building, is a rust-covered storage area and garage -- don't go there.

Rather, walk past the two cars (to the right of them sit two wooden frames to tipis, each of which in their center have the rusted framework of what looks like a Civil War-era cannon or some piece of dilapidated farming equipment or something (couldn't tell, they were that rusted and decomposed), and towards the dramatic landscape of the Mesa Verde plain behind that.

At the far end of the main building, you'll see a scary-looking door to your left which leads to a small little closet that's been built onto the outside of the building. That's the bathroom. No fooling. And yes, it's pretty scary inside.

What's it like?

This artifact and souvenir shop located about 10 minutes south of Cortez, CO is a nice, humble warehouse-style building filled with an assortment of area-made Indian crafts (by the Ute tribe, which inhabits the region). Prices are reasonable and the personnel is pretty friendly. A very casual place that doesn't seem to put on my airs about what it sells and who it sells it to, but still pleasant enough.

I wish I could say the same about the bathroom here. This is a small closet room built onto the side of the building as an afterthought. There isn't much here in terms of offerings or niceties. There's a white porcelain toilet that looks like it was picked up on the cheap, a brown and white patterned porcelain sink that looks like it was purchased on closeout or donated, a roll of toilet paper (only one), and a few pipes that extend from the ceiling into the sink and commode respectively -- some of which are supported by rubber bands and straps.

Clearly, this is where the tourists are directed to by the staff in their time of need, as there isn't another place to visit for miles on this road. I imagine the employees' toilet inside is much nicer. Not that this place is very dirty. It isn't. It's just not tended to. And that's very apparent the instant you step inside.

Looking up, you can see where the roof rafters were extended to make room for this place, along with plenty of coagulated dust and some leftover spider webs. There are no walls, just support beams to the main building and two-by-fours. The floor is concrete -- part of the concrete terrace that wraps around the place and also doubles as its foundation -- and is stained in parts from water and other forms of spillage. The door is just a piece of plywood slapped onto some other pieces of plywood as a means to create a chamber, and it has a sliding latch to lock it, nothing more. A lone light bulb hangs above everything -- the only light here, outside of the natural light, that is. Beneath the sink is a bucket lined with a plastic supermarket bag -- not sure if it's supposed to be the place's trash can or if it's there to catch any water seeping out of the plumbing.

This makeshift construction, of course, gives you little separation from the outside world. Being this is mountain country, the air is pretty drafty, and while you're sitting on the pot here, already feeling pretty gross about the situation you've found yourself in, and you feel the wind blow through the cracks in the walls and against your bare skin, believe me that you feel very naked and exposed to the world. It gets pretty drafty and cold in there, that's for sure. Likewise, you hear the traffic pretty loudly when it passes on the highway outside.

Really, this is the shoddiest bit of construction I've encountered since my visit to the Zion Canyon Main Entrance Toilets and Babys R Us in Orlando -- and those places look downright palatial compared to this one.

Of course, I've labeled this place as an outhouse when in a way it really isn't -- it has indoor plumbing (well, sort of -- the toilet flushes, but no water comes from the faucet when you turn it, so make sure you've got some hand sanitizer with you, because you'll need it). But you feel the elements so much here that in a way it can also be considered an outhouse -- only there are many other outhouses I'd prefer to visit over this "indoor" facility.

On the plus side, there is little of foul smell here -- but that's mostly because the draftiness of the place ensures odors don't stay inside the chamber for long. I guess that's a plus, right?

Marks out of 10:

1. A truly terrible experience -- a sad compliment to an otherwise charming knickknack store.

Comments to the Management:

Clearly, this room isn't a priority to you, so I'm not sure what could be done to fix it up if you don't care about it.

Perhaps the easiest thing to do is to just put up a proper outhouse in the parking lot, which would actually offer considerable more comfort. Then again, those things can be expensive, so perhaps the thing to do is put up some drywall to hide the plumbing and rafters, put in a proper garbage can, make sure the water to the sink actually runs, seal up the gaps in the door, and perhaps even put up a poster or two on the wall to add a bit of local color to the place. As is, it's probably the worst toilet I visited this year, sorry to say.

1000 Signs in 1000 Palms Canyon OR Outhouse Review #3 – California Strikes Back

Caochella Valley Preserve
1000 Palms Canyon
Near Palm Spings, CA USA


Where is it?

From the parking area (car park would be an over statement as it is really a bit of desert with a few rocks around it) head into the reserve. Keep your wits about you though as there are wild animals out to get you. No kidding, a cougar was seen near the cars that very morning! Continue keeping the visitor centre to the right. Head off across the picnic area and you’ll come across the out house.


What’s it like?

What I knew about Palm Springs CA before I got there was limited to a couple of stereotypes. All I really knew was that its likely to be warmer than Aspen and was full of old people and, as with anywhere where old people go for winter, was likely to have little to offer. I guess on the first point I was proved right. Leaving Aspen on a cold crisp sunny morning at 21F and arriving at 4pm in the springs to find it hot, dry and 95F certainly did that! But did the place have little to offer?

On the basis of my ill founded stereotypes I’d given myself a little less than 20 hours for this stop, but after squeezing my meetings into the evening and first thing I found myself with a couple of hours to test out my theory. Well, lets just say other than a half decent Thai meal on the main street (the waitress gave me fantastic service after I asked for chop sticks - obviously ignoring the other customers who’s fingers couldn’t cope with the idea) the best thing to do involved the best outhouse we’ve yet featured.

'Better than Red Rock?' I hear you say – well lets say the instructions, safety features, and welcome relief have to make this place the best out house I've been in for many years! So what gives?

Well, if you’ve seen Eyal’s review of Red Rock Canyon you’ll already have the idea, and given I was in suit and trousers, you’ll also understand that I looked a little out of place. Dusty, hot, but with spectacular scenery that made the effort of polish my shoes later that night well worth it.

Once there, you have to say the out house is cute from outside. White paint and a pagoda make it look like its on Martha’s Vineyard rather than in the scorching desert. The first thing you notice inside is that it’s pretty damned clean for a toilet in the middle of the desert. Then it starts to hit you that, yeah, you really are in the desert and there isn’t any running water for this pit stop. But this is where this operation is so good. It’s not busy and is ultimately private (half of the hut all to yourself) so you can afford to take your time.

Then there are the signs.

There’s the ones on operation. If you were wondering how it all works its all there for you on the signs. You are using a recycling (composting to be exact) toilet by Clivus. And could it be any simpler? No this is the ultimate in toilets. No flush, no taps, no towels and the sanitizing soap smelled good too. Cool.

Then there are the signs for entertainment. I knew at least three species of bat by the time I left.

AND THEN there are the safety signs. You soon decide to watch out that there are no stray mountain lions in the cabin before you enter. And was I just paranoid when checking under the toilet seat for rattlesnakes?

Overall, for an outhouse (did I say that already Eyal?) this place was pretty damned good! Take a trip and see. Honest you won't regret it.


Marks out of 10:

7. A desert oasis.


Comments to the management:

Fantastic facilities in the middle of nowhere.

Outhouse Review #4 -- Bryce Canyon -- Cream of the Crop at 9115 FT

Bryce Canyon National Park
Bryce Canyon UT USA 84764-0201

http://www.nps.gov/brca/

Where is it?

This outhouse is part of a set of them found at the junction of Rainbow Point and Yovimpa , the very last stop on the Bryce Canyon motorway, which it about 20 miles inside the park (from the main entrance). It's also at the highest part of the park, at 9115 ft above sea level. The area features breathtaking overlooks that stretch more than 200 miles, as well as vistas of the southernmost part of Bryce canyon and the enormous rugged valley behind it, which makes up the Grand Staircase National Monument.

The stop is shaped like an elongated rotary, with covered sitting areas placed along the tops of the cliffs and a group of about a dozen cabins pitted in the middle. The facilities are located inside those cabins, four outhouses per cabin.

To get here, enter the park and follow the road signs to Rainbow Point.

What's it like?

Yes, these are still outhouses, but they are certainly the cream of the crop -- at least as outhouses are concerned.

Outside, the cabins are metallic and painted dark brown, to look like they are made of wood (a la log cabin design). Inside, the walls are painted the same brown color and the floors are made of concrete, painted off-white. They hold, like all outhouses, a compost toilet, rolls of paper and a fixed pump containing hand sanitizer (a nice touch, since the facilities lack plumbing).

Unlike other outhouses visited recently, these are spotless inside and out. I didn't find a single scratch in the paint, inside or out, or any trash or waste on the floor of room itself. Considering these are compost toilets, there was nary a smell about them. Part of that had to do with the gusting winds outside, but still for an outhouse it wasn't bad at all.

They were also impeccably clean and remarkably serene, considering the four-to-a-building setup. My visit coincided with a stop made by a tour bus full of elderly, all of whom rushed to the bathroom while just as I entered my station. Even with all stalls filled, I heard nothing of my neighbors and felt perfectly at piece. Few outhouses, let alone public toilets in general, offer such luxury.

Better still: It was just below 40F on the morning of my visit, and I poorly planned for this, wearing only a thin spring jacket to warm me up. It was cold outside (and got warmer as I descended the canyon, naturally) but the construction of these outhouses were so solid and insulating that once I stepped inside I felt comfortable. Not warm, but not freezing either.

Marks out of 10:

9. Slight stench aside (these are outhouses, after all), these are wonderful facilities.

Comments to the Management:

Kudos on every respects.

Upscale Outhouse -- That's Essentially the Vibe of the Toilets at the Abbey

Abbey Wine & Beer Bar
117 1/2 N Woodland Blvd
Deland, FL USA
www.abbeydeland.com

Where is it?

This is a somewhat modes storefront set off the main road in downtown Deland. But it turns out to be a spacious spot and it's got a somewhat straight forward layout to it, making finding the toilets easy.

From the front entrance, head to the back of the place. Once there, look for a hallway opening in the back wall. Head down that hallway, and you'll see the toilets on your right, men's room first, then the women's further back, towards the end of the hallway.

What's it like?

This is a dark, somewhat sophisticated upscale beer and wine bar. While you can get your standard mass markets here, the beer- and wine-savvy staff and vast collection of hard-to-find titles make it a great place for the more adventurous drinker -- especially one with a love for Belgian ales, in which the place specializes. (Hence the name.)

A large, heavy wood bar sits in the front left corner of the place. A roomy dining room spreads out behind it. At the bar, you'll find plenty of coolers holding various bottles of beer and wine, as well a tap with about 20 beer selections ranging from hard-to-find imports to several unique American micro-brew selections. If you're unsure of what to have, work with the bartender -- he/she will let you sample a number of items until you find the perfect match.

The place also offers a handful of sandwiches and other various munchies, which are good filler for the beer, though if you're looking for a substantial meal, you may want to visit somewhere else before or after, since the portions here tend to be a bit on the small side.

The beer and wine are the focus here, after all, and if you enjoy good beer and good company (such as my friend Ayal Wolf, pictured above), then this is the place for you.

Given the dark, sophisticated nature of the interior, you'd think the bathrooms would be similar in design -- like the elegant Davio's in Philadelphia, or, on a smaller scale, the homey Las Brazas Chicken. Ironically, they are not like that at all.

More than anything, they look the the sort of bathroom you'd find at a BBQ joint (like Cecil's, for example).The walls are covered in unfinished wood planks, and the floor is covered in that standard rust-colored tile you see at many other places.

All the fixtures kind of serve as piece-meal extensions of that wood paneling. The urinals and vanity just look like add-ons that were included after the fact, like matted chrome faucets, decorative iron wall hangings, cheesy framed mirrors and more.

And then there's the toilet, which comes set behind a saloon door and is set into a wooden shelf, making the stall itself look very much like an old-country outhouse. (It should be noted that the stall is somewhat small and that saloon door that doesn't quite open all the way -- making it hard for people who are larger than 5 feet in height to get in or sit comfortably while they are inside.)

In fact, the overall vibe of the place is that of an outhouse -- a complete 180 from the interior, if you think about it. It's very rustic and Southern and backwoods in inspiration, and clearly the design is purposeful, funny and kitschy. So much so that I wondered if the toilet serves as a statement, saying that while we aim for sophistication on the outside, inside we're all the same and we all have to use the toilet and that's that.

I like the message, to be honest, and I like the kitsch of the design. But I'm just not sold 100% on the execution. Like I said, the aforementioned stall was a bit too tight of a fit -- it should be a bit more comfortable to use and enter and exit. And the toilet water in the commode was alarmingly blue in color -- almost like well-chlorinated pool water instead of water colored by a Tidy Bowl insert. What's with that?

Also, one of the urinals was not working and the lighting was a bit dimmer than it needed to be. A place this kitschy requires bright lights, so people can marvel at the effort taken by the designers to put it together and laugh with it. It's not a place for subtlety, such as the bar and dining room areas.

Another note: It's also a very clean bathroom and practically odor-free, which is an accomplishment worth mentioning since it's a beer bar at heart and it's located in a college town.

Marks out of 10:

7. As mentioned earlier, I like the attempt, but I'm not sold on the execution. Sorry.

Comments to the Management:

Make the lighting a little brighter. Fix the broken urinal (maybe already a moot point). Make that stall a little larger and easier to get into. And what's with that blue water?