Woman Invades The Men’s Room

BP Service Station
Aire de Chateauvillain Sur Orge
Chateauvillain
A5
France.


Where is it?

Go through the main front doors of the service station. There are a host of drinks machines to the left and the shop and payment area to the right. Go straight between them, down the corridor, and turn left.


What’s it like?

When it comes down to it the weakest link in a machine is always the human being. My car can do up to 600 miles on a tank of diesel, that’s at least 6 hours in the car (on the unlimited autobahn I’d have to add if you were doing the math). I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait that long to pee. This is why we all have to stop at a service station now and again.

Actually, it was the need to take on fluid on a afternoon drive from Cannes to Calais that called for this stop at the BP station on the A5 at Chateauvillain. To be sure the shop is fine, the staff are friendly – and the Orange Coke on sale caught our eye – but then, just before departing, I decided I’d better take advantage of the facilities.

This is where things went downhill. In need of a refurbishment is an understatement. It is now unusual to find graffiti strewn over toilet doors, as well as the general state of disrepair and neglect that this place had. Fixtures with gaping holes around them, holes where fixtures had faced impromptu removal filled with chewing gum, and a particularly dirty toilet bowl left me wishing that I had waited for the next stop en route.

Nevertheless, you’d have to say the staff do clean the place. It raised more than some comment from my fellow travellers – my French is not so good so I can only speculate on what was being said – when a woman employee came in unannounced and proceeded to clean. More than one eyebrow was raised, indeed. And did I actually see a Frenchman embarrassed in front of a woman?


Marks out of 10:

2. BP need to pay for a refurb here


Comments to the management:

Invest some money and fix things quicker. I’ll let you off the invasion – the joy of seeing embarrassed Frenchmen…

Two Visits to Fort Drum Service Station Show Plaza's Split Personality, Faults

Port St. Lucie/Ft. Pierce Service Plaza
Florida Turnpike, FL USA
Mile Market 184

www.floridasturnpike.com

Where is it?

Like the Port St. Lucie/Ft. Pierce Service Plaza on the Florida Turnpike, the bathrooms here are found adjacent to the respective entrances: Men's room just inside the North entrance door, and the Women's just inside the South entrance.

An important note: Because the lobby separating the two ends can get very busy (ironically enough, just like the PSL plaza), getting to your loo of choice can be quite stressful, especially if you're in dire need to go. Expect to cut and jab, at times quite violently, to get through the masses of people lined up at the various fast food counters found here, which include Starbucks, Burger King, Nathan's, Miami Subs, Arthur Treacher's, and Freshens Frozen Treats.

A better bet (though it involves some planning in what is, essentially, an impulsive act) is to hit the place in the morning, as most of the tour buses don't arrive until afternoon (it's one of the last rest areas before reaching Orlando, so it can be pretty busy once the tourists arrive.)

What's it like?

Like the PSL Service Plaza, the bathrooms here are shaped like a U, with the sinks along the base and two rooms of urinals and stalls making up the legs of the letter. The men's room can accommodate about 30 people at a time, give or take. The women's room, judging from what my companion told me, can hold about half that.

It's a Teutonic place, with dark tiles covering the floor and bland gray tiles on the wall. White sinks, white urinals and white toilets, with black stall doors separating them.

I visited this plaza twice, both out of necessity. The first visit was in early afternoon, during which the place was overrun by tour buses and tourists, and as a result it was a horrible experience through and through. There were so many people there that the bathroom felt like a subway station at rush hour -- people pushing and shoving just to stand their ground and not lose their place in line. Kids were running around everywhere, jumping into and splashing around in the various liquids found on the floor and throwing towels and trash about.

I managed to score on a stall on this visit instead of a urinal and found it horrifically dirty -- the floor was covered in urine, mis-thrown toilet paper and bits of feces (no kidding). And the stall doors had a considerable amount of graffiti on them, including a very prominent hand-written advertisement for Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul. I didn't think the endorsement was very flattering, but I guess it does show where Paul's influence can be felt.

My second visit was better -- fewer people, quieter and cleaner. Though because it was mostly empty this time, I was able to better see the wear and tear of the tiles and floor, as well as the grime collected in the corners and other various shortcomings. The sink faucet, for example, is so close to the back of the sink that it's impossible to wash your hands without getting water and soap all over the vanity counter. Also, there were only two automatic paper towel dispensers in the bathroom, one at each side of the sink area, making it necessary for people to walk a good distance, while dribbling water on the floor from their wet hands, before being able to dry themselves. (Could this be part of the reason why the floors are always so wet here? Perhaps.) Also, the only trash cans were placed by entrance -- which may explain why there's so much trash on the floor (who wants to carry trash that fan, you know?)

Also, during both visits, I saw an attendant standing idly by at the entrance, not doing anything much at all. (Another trend it shares with the PSL Plaza, I guess.) My companion did mention that two women were feverishly mopping the women's room while she was in there -- though she didn't mention what they were mopping up or why. I think I prefer not to know.

Marks out of 10:

3. Hard to escape the memory of the feces I spotted on the floor during that first visit, even if my second visit was much improved over the first.

Comments to the Management:

Clearly, the powers that be need to vastly re-think their cleaning strategy here. Simply put, this is not a pleasant place to stop.

Nice bathroom, but Mama Mia the service, she is a-slow!

Mama Mia's Kitchen
13409 US Hwy1
Riverwalk Shopping Plaza
Sebastian, FL USA 32958

www.mamamiaskitchen.net

Where is it?

From the front door, go to the back of the dining room, down a little corridor in the far left corner (the waitress station) and all the way to the end of the hall, staying to the left as you walk (otherwise you'll end up in the kitchen). The toilets will be on the left.

What's it like?

A standard one-seater that's elevated to greater heights, thanks to some some nifty, homespun touches. The floor and half of the walls are covered with rust-colored terracotta tile, and the upper parts of the walls are covered in colorful wallpaper and contain quirky pictures (funny-looking planes and such). Very homey and unpretentious, and very welcoming -- at least as bathroom's go.

In fact, that's the vibe for the whole restaurant -- quaint, homey, family friendly. The food's good and comforting, as is the decor.

Having said that, it's a shame the service is so awful. We waited 45 minutes for our salads to come out after we placed our order -- and then waited another hour for our main courses. And it wasn't like they were that busy, you know?

Naturally, all these delays gave me plenty of time to check out the toilets. However, even that step of the dining experience sufferred from the poor service. When I approached the waitress station at the back of the dining room and asked where the toilets were, a woman (without looking at me) pointed loosely in the direction of the aforementioned corridor (leading to the toilets) and said, with an angry voice, "Back there." (Let's just say that wasn't a comforting start to my trip to the loo.)

Marks out of 10:

7. Would've been an 8, but the crappy service and "Back there" comment knocked the rating down a knotch.

Comments to the Management:

You've got a great, clean and comfortable bathroom, and you're food's delicious, but the service needs definite improvement in terms of speed and politeness.

Fuggedaboudit: Bathroom at Pannullo's Makes Offer You Can't Refuse

Pannullo's Italian Restaurant
216 S Park Ave
Winter Park, FL USA
www.pannullos.com

Where is it?

This is a pretty small, narrow place -- about as close to a authentically sized New York City restaurant as you will probably find in Orlando. Really, it's just a long, thin rectangle, with a thinner central area that makes room for a semi-open kitchen.

To find the bathroom, head through the outdoor seating area up front, straight past the hostess station, to the very rear of the place -- the back, left corner to be specific. Once there, head past the waitress station and look on your left -- the entrance to the bathrooms will be there.

What's it like?

This semi-upscale joint, located on swanky Park Avenue in Winter Park, is one of the city's more reliable spots for decent everyday Italian food. Think of it as a neighborhood pizzeria that's raised the quality of food a beyond the standard pizzeria fare.

Inside, it looks much like a Manhattan restaurant, with brick walls, dim lighting, and a somewhat crammed dining room that (in my opinion) packs in a few too many tables for its own good. But the food is good and well-priced and the service is commendable. The pizza baked here is some of the best in the city (at least in my top 5) and the pasta dishes (including a wonderful ravioli terracina -- ravioli stuffed with mushroom and spinach) and sandwiches (a terrific meatball Parmesan sub) are baked on fresh bread and are definitely a cut above from the standard sub shop or chain pizza house.

The crowd here ranges from regulars and families to see-and-be-seen types (it is Park Avenue) and college kids. Definitely worth a stop if you're in the area. If only the dining room were a little roomier.....

The bathrooms poke a lot of fun at the criminal end of the Italian-American persona, as the green-painted walls are covered with the names of various gangsters and characters (and, in one case, Donnie Brasco, who was an undercover cop masquerading as a gangster, but who wants to quibble with specifics, considering the subject matter, right?).

As such, as you peruse the walls here, you see names like "Sonnie the Bull," "Moe Greene" (from the Godfather), "Bugsy Seigel," and aforementioned "Donnie Brasco" and many more. It's a cute gimmick that will make any mob movie fan smile. (Coincidentally, the motif would pair nicely with a visit to the bathroom at NYPD Pizza in Downtown Orlando, since that bathroom has been designed on a classic NYC police station. As for who has a better pizza.... that's a debate best left to another setting.)

The facilities themselves, like the dining room, are a little tight-fitting. Not as tight as Club Quarters Philadelphia or at Petro Palace lobby or the SkyBar in St. Petersburg, Russia, but still a bit too tight for it's own good, especially if there is more than one person inside at a time.

The layout, like the dining room, is that of a long, thin rectangle. Upon entering, you'll see a sink station across from you, in the back corner. It's got a porcelain vanity, with a funky-framed mirror overhead and a cabinet underneath. Off-white tile covers the area immediately around the sink -- sort of like a splash-proof zone (the designers at the Lotus Blossom Cafe in Disney's EPCOT might want take note of the effectiveness of this setup). Above that, as with the rest of the upper walls of the place, are the painted green walls with the names of the mobsters on it.

In the front is an old-fashioned urinal that stretches to the floor -- combined with the tile work (which mixes straight block tiles with a wavy-lined pattern highlight), the place gives off the look and feel of an old-fashioned toilet chamber. Mind you, it's not as successful as, say, Montparnasse 1900 in Paris or Philadelphia's Davio's, but certainly more than Columbia Restaurant Celebration, which promised an old-fashioned bathroom atmosphere but didn't deliver at all.

The toilet stall is in the middle of the place, kind of pushed in between the sink and urinal. As said, it's pretty tight in here.

It's also a bit noisy, since the entrance is set right across from the main waitress station, which is behind the bar against the back wall and the drink filling station. To get here, you will probably have to dodge a few waiters.

It's clean for the most part, however. I didn't spot any spilled water or paper, but I did find a napkin left behind on the sink station. Considering the charm of the place, I said, "Fuggedaboudit."

Marks out of 10:

7. A fun place, but also a bit too crammed and noisy. Almost an 8, but I just couldn't do it.

Comments to the Management:

Seeing that you probably can't make it any bigger, perhaps add some music in here, to lessen the noise factor. Otherwise, kudos on the clever design.

Port St. Lucie Service Station Is a Filthy, Chaotic Madhouse

Port St. Lucie/Ft. Pierce Service Plaza
Florida Turnpike, FL USA
Mile Market 144

www.floridasturnpike.com

Where is it?

From the southbound entrance to the plaza (as opposed to the northbound, which is on the exact other side of the building), head through the sliding double doors and into a sea of impatient tourists standing in line for the various concessions found here, like Starbucks, Burger King, Cinnabon, Sbarro, and Freshens Frozen Treats. You'll find the women's room down a hallway to your immediate right (after entering).

The men's room is trickier to get to: You'll need to go through this chaotic cafeteria filled with people, cutting through whatever throngs you may find in front of you (and believe me, some of them won't budge, no matter how bad you have to go -- and there really isn't much room in lobby to go around them) until you reach the exact opposite side of the building. Once there, wrap around the last food counter and go into the right-back corner of the place. You'll find the men's room there.

What's it like?

After such an incredible fight just to get to the men's room, I was hoping to find some sort of oasis waiting for me. Sadly, I sorely disappointed.

The men's room is U-shaped here, with a string of sinks making up the base of the U and two hallways of stalls and urinals making up the remaining legs of the letter. Like the plaza's lobby, it was crowded as hell on this visit -- men trying to get in and get out without making any attempt to be polite (I got checked into wall tile at one point), children weaving back and forth between people like they were tackling a slalom course. Just sheer madness.

If that weren't enough, the place was filthy -- though it certainly had the potential of being clean (perhaps at the start of the day it was?). The dark tiles on the floor were littered with towels, water, mud, shoe scuffs and more. The sinks and urinals, all automatic, looked like they were in need a good scrub; the urinals offered little privacy to those using them, and little buffer from the manic children running around behind them. The stalls were covered with water, urine and paper -- and I couldn't find a single toilet whose seat wasn't drenched in drops of urine. It was just disgusting.

Worse still: An attendant stood at the entrance, mop and bucket in hand and a glum look on his face, and he did nothing. He just stood there, watching the frenzy before him. Perhaps he was waiting for the traffic to slow down? Perhaps he sensed the futility of cleaning a place that would just foul itself up again once he was done? Either way, he showed no initiative in doing his job. Really quite sad.

After leaving, I waited for my companion to meet me in the parking lot, so we could continue our trip, and the silence and stillness that met me in the lot was very welcoming. It was like I'd walked through a war zone and survived -- the service plaza was that inhospitable. My companion, after arriving, offered similar complaints about the women's room -- stalls covered in paper, water, and urine, among other things, and worse still she had to wait 20 minutes to use those facilities because of the crowds, whereas I was able to get in and out in a matter of minutes. Sometimes, I guess, it pays to be a male.

Marks out of 10:

4. This was horrible experience, made all the more disappointing because the place houses the possibility of being a solid pit stop.

Comments to the Management:

Yes, I realize the building gets a lot of traffic, but there has to be a way to get those restrooms cleaned more efficiently and regularly. Maybe you should post two attendants at a time and make sure they tidy up continuously. Most people won't make as much of a mess if they see an attendant nearby, tidying up. Then again, I could be wrong about this as well.

Bathroom in Hard Rock Casino in Tampa is Swanky, But Also Soaked with Spilled Liquids

Seminole Hard Rock Casino Tampa
5223 Orient Rd
Tampa, FL USA
www.seminolehardrocktampa.com

Where is it?

This toilet is on the west end of the complex, just a short distance away from Floyd's, the establishment's nightclub and late-night high-end dining spot. Best way to get to this restroom is to first find Floyd's, then with your back to Floyd's entrance go to your right, following the perimeter walkway of the casino.

Note: You can't see the entrance to the bathroom from the entrance to Floyd's because there is a wall of slot machines blocking your view, but if you follow the perimeter walkway in that direction, you'll see it as soon as you turn the corner.

What's it like?

This casino hotel has been around nearly 10 years (I think?) and in that time it has transformed itself from a kitschy Cracker-themed gambling hall and concert venue to something on par with some of the nicer-but-smaller venues in Las Vegas. On my first visit there, years back, I was mesmerized by a game in which you played tic tac toe against a live chicken in a box -- at a cost of $5. Nowadays, the chicken game is gone and a slick array of new Vegas-inspired slots fills the place, along with plenty of swanky rock and roll decor.

Sure, the place is based on the Hard Rock Cafe design motif, but here the memorabilia seems to play second fiddle to the many gaming options, which literally overstuff the gambling floor. Not that the decor isn't there -- there are glass cases and displays everywhere, don't get me wrong -- but it's not as noticeable when compared to the barrage of flashing lights that hits you from all angles.

Of course, in its latest incarnation, the place has more similarities to Vegas than ever before, from decent dining options to shows to table games (the first incarnation had only slots, and though the slots still outweigh the tables significantly, you can see the tables becoming more predominant in coming years).

It's also a somewhat smokey place -- but then, what casino isn't? Still, if you can put up with that, and the with the huge numbers of people who crowd the place (especially on weekends), then you should have a fine time here. Not exactly a place for the rock and roll historian to connect to his favorite classic groups (though there is plenty to see in terms of memorabilia) but still an enjoyable place to make a slow afternoon more exciting and lose some money quickly.

The bathrooms here seem to be modeled after a combination of several glam rock stars, like modern-day Steven Tyler and KISS, among others. Outside the entrance are displays containing outfits worn by various rockers (can't remember who, though, I'm afraid). Inside, the color scheme and design will have you thinking you've stepped into a dressing room of sorts -- it's a somewhat predictable design move but still its executed well enough that you give a knowing smile once you step inside.

These are large rooms, by the way, on par with what was seen in spots like Grand Central Station or the Paris Las Vegas. Once you walk in, the large vanity area (on par in size with the one seen at the Delta Crown Room in JFK's Terminal 2) will be on your left. This area has a multi-sink station vanity made of black marble and a large stretch mirror hanging behind it -- very reminiscent to the mirror area in a dressing room, if you think about it (like what's done at Bill's Elbow South, only on a grander and classier scale).

The sinks themselves are all automatic, as is the soap dispenser (which dishes out a lovely foam soap). Towels (plush but disposable) are dispensed via a countertop holder -- like what you would see in a classy restaurant like Texas de Brazil, among other places. The vanity counter has circles cut into it, in which you toss the towels through and into the trash cans below.

On the floor beneath the vanity is a set of plush zebra-striped rugs, which add to the glam factor. Over the vanity -- and around the rest of the bathroom -- is a highlight row of colorful tiles, which add a sense of class to the place and also proves reminiscent of the classy tile work found in places like Caesar's Palace and the Venetian, among others.

On the downside, the vanity was covered with spilled water -- the counter was literally drenched, which was somewhat offputting. Also, the floor was wet, as was the zebra rug (which I guess makes you understand why bathrooms rarely have rugs in them). Really, this was one of the wettest vanities I've seen since my trip to the Island of Adventure's Toon Lagoon. Not quite that horrific, but it was close in spots.

Of course, I understand that the casino was packed that day and that it's hard to police a bathroom effectively when there are tons of people floating in an out of it. The Port St. Lucie and Fort Drum service stations on the Florida Turnpike are further evidence of this -- just too much traffic to keep it consistently clean. Still, this is a hotel that aims to be high-end and those are service plazas, so you hope the managers notice the difference.

Anyway, to continue with the tour, the bathroom follows the design of Grand Central Station (and of the bathrooms experienced at the Philadelphia International Airport) some more in that it is a square room with the urinals set up along a center wall, which divides the bathroom into two parts (for the vanity and toilet stalls). Both sides of that wall have urinals on them. In the back section (and to the far left end) are rows of toilet stalls, maybe 10-15 in total.

The urinals are your standard white porcelain variety and they are separated by stainless steel dividers. The stalls themselves have white toilets and stainless steel walls. The stalls are of standard width but the ones I stepped into had plenty of pee on the seats -- not terribly bad, like what was seen at the Oxford Railway Station, or the O2, but still bad enough to think that the place needed to have an attendant posted inside during the busier times.

The floors here are marble tile, beige with black highlight tiles. The walls are covered in a similar beige marble tile, but have that aforementioned ring of colorful highlight tiles. There isn't much on the walls, but the bright lighting and items like the zebra rug offer enough decor -- heck, there's a whole casino outside, so I have to respect the designers in their choice to make the place both glammy and a place to step away from the glitz (if only a little) of the casino outside.

Marks out of 10:

8. Almost a 7 because of the spilled water and pee, but still nice enough for you to be able to look past those fallacies and see what a quality restroom this really is.

Comments to the Management:

It's a well-designed place. I think putting an attendant inside -- especially during peak traffic times -- would keep the place clean consistently, and also add a bit more class to the spot. Think about it.

Islands of Adventure: Toon Lagoon Toilets Are Worst in the Park

Islands of Adventure Theme Park
Toon Lagoon Toilet
Universal Orlando Resort
1000 Universal Studios Plaza
Orlando, FL USA
www.universalorlando.com

Where is it?

Walk through Toon Lagoon and look for Gasoline Alley, a small souvenir store set amid the creative set design found there that looks like a gas station convenience store from the outside and sells various cartoon-based souvenirs instead of standard gas station stuff.

Just past Gasoline Alley is a faux garage -- really, it looks like a cartoon service garage. Those are the bathrooms.

What's it like?

I admired the look of the outside of the bathrooms here more than what I found inside. Outside, the garage design is clever. Inside, you'll find a somewhat tiny environment that's both crammed, stuffy, smelly and messy.

As stated in my review of the bathrooms across from the Hulk Coaster, the normal rule of thumb for theme park toilets is that the further you are from the higher traffic areas, the cleaner the toilets.

These toilets prove that theory wrong. These were the messiest and more disgusting toilets I visited in the park, and they were a little off the beaten path and did not have much foot traffic around them.

So perhaps the theory should be amended: Any toilet where small children are the main populace will lead you to the worst toilets -- and the attractions and rides in the park's Toon Lagoon area cater mostly to children.

Also worsening things is the fact that the park's two big-name water rides, the Dudley Doo Right flume and the Popeye river rapids, are in this area, meaning that children over the height minimum will come to these bathrooms after they are soaked in the park's stinky ride water and relieve themselves, making these toilets an algae breeding ground of theme park proportions. And that's really what this place smells like.

Amenities-wise, the toilets here are about one third the size of the ones experienced in Super Hero Island. White toilets, urinals and sinks. Four urinals along the back wall, with three stalls across from it, a sink station up front, a baby changing station and a big mirror. The feel of the bathroom is decidedly cave-like for such a small space. Not much privacy, even if you're alone here because the small space echoes the noises heard outside a bit too well.

The walls are covered in a classy gray/off-white tile, the floor in that standard red brick tile I've seen at places like Hershey's Ice Cream Vista Lakes. It's definitely homey, to a certain degree, in here.

But what a mess. The floor was covered with paper and water, and the stalls were filled with unrolled toilet paper and water -- so much so that I felt like I was wading through a one-inch-deep cesspool. The toilet had some poop streaks inside as well. Just gross. And the smell..... Think algae breeding ground mixed with pee......

Marks out of 10:

3. A nice bathroom from the outside, and structurally, but a disaster zone in terms of cleanliness and smell.

Comments to the Management:

You definitely need to send the cleaning crew over more here. This place needs constant attention. As is, it looks like the children visiting it are setting the cleaning schedule for it.

Angular Design Does Little to Differentiate Steak n Shake Toilet From Its Fast Food Brethren

Steak n Shake
818 S. Orlando Ave
Winter Park, FL USA
www.steaknshake.com

Where is it?

From the front entrance, and with your back to the door, head through the dining room to the back left corner of the place. There's a small hallway there leading to the bathrooms.

What's it like?

This Illinois-based chain is yet another of those eateries that offer a throwback to 50s-era dining, reminding people that in the 50s all people ate were burgers, fries and like-minded diner food, right? The restaurants are designed to look like old-fashioned malt and burger shops of that time, complete with interior designs based on the black and white checkerboard patterns that were popular then and employee uniforms based in starched white shirts and paper grill-cook hats.

Of course, it's also a fast food restaurant, only that here you experience full-blown table service instead of ordinary counter service. The offerings are the same essentially, though -- burgers, fries, chili, milkshakes. There are also soups, some chili mac dishes and some desserts and some salads, but nothing too mind blowing or adventurous. (Big Boy Diner, which has a similar design and menu, offers miles and away more variety on its menu -- and better food, in my opinion).

The burgers here are decent and because of its 24-hour schedule it offers a better option for middle of the night munchies than Denny's. Though I won't say that the burgers are better than what I can get at the Fillin' Station or Fuddruckers, or even Whole Foods (if we're talking Orlando) -- or even Jack in the Box, if we're talking elsewhere, since Steak n Shake's food kind of falls into the category of the latter. But it's not bad and well-priced, provided you go light on the mustard (if not, the burgers become too tangy).

The bathrooms are what you'd expect from your typical fast food joint. The walls are covered in white tile (similar, though not as gleaming white, as the tiles found on the walls at the IKEA Orlando bathrooms) and the floors are covered in a small white and black pattern that was similar to what we found in the bathrooms at Theo's Kitchen, only with a greater emphasis on pattern and much less grime, and the WhyNot Lounge, only this place has smaller tiles on the floor than that one.

The bathroom itself has an odd shape -- rectangular, but with angular lines and tight corners created by some non-traditionally set up toilet stalls. There are two stalls here, one handicap and one regular, and the handicap has a fat back end and thin opening, which in turn jets out into the common area like the top part of a pentagon and thus creates a hard angle in front of the room's lone urinal, which hangs midway through the entrance to the handicap stall and regular stall.

As a result, the passageway around the urinal to the regular stall becomes pretty tight -- and even tighter still if someone's at the urinal and you want to get by to hit the regular stall, which is tucked away into the deep, back corner of the room, down this narrow entrance way. Not exactly convenient, if you think about it, but because the stalls are made of wall and tile, there isn't much flexibility to how one can shift the design any.

Granted, the handicap toilet is pretty roomy, whereas the regular toilet is a bit skimpy, but both are perfectly serviceable. They house white commodes with black seats, and the regular toilet had some fiercely blue water in it, making me wonder if it'd been used at all that day (I arrived for dinner, so there was no doubt that others had visited the toilet before me) or just skipped it because it was too hard to get to.

The sink is in the very front of the place -- a two-station unit with white sinks set inside a gray Formica counter. Standard pull-up faucets, with soap dispensers hanging to each side and a large mirror behind it. Pretty Teutonic and straightforward -- like the rest of the place, which reminded me a lot of the Chick Fil-A I visited in Raleigh, only that was a little cleaner and lacked the crazy angles in its design and was overall more functional for more multiple users.

Marks out of 10:

6. Teutonic and clean but not quite up to speed of others in this category.

Comments to the Management:

The angular shape of the toilet stalls are definitely unique but not as user friendly as you'd hope them to be. Though, as stated earlier, not sure what can be done about that. Otherwise, the place could use a good scrubbing with bleach and perhaps some brighter lighting. And please flush that blue stuff away from the regular toilet -- I haven't been that distracted by the color blue in a bathroom since my visits to Teremok in St. Petersburg, Russia and the Abbey in Deland.

Very Eastern Bloc at Innsbruck Stop

A12 Eastbound
Innsbruck
Austria


Where is it?

Pull off the A12 at the information point. Park up and the toilets will be to your right, past the information board.


What’s it like?

If you drive into Austria from Munich and are heading for Italy as we were, you might just pass by Innsbruck and this stop. We wanted to take in the sights of Innsbruck on our way down south and stopped to look at the information board. Whilst we did that we also decided to use the toilets.

So bear in mind this is a toilet stop next to a busy motorway high up in the Alps. It’s not part of a service station. No fuel, no restaurant, not anything. So don’t expect much.

I guess the thing to say is that the views are the best thing about the place. And the views are pretty damned fantastic. But then when you enter the toilet the first thing to strike you is that whoever built them obviously built the local roads, and used the local road builders’ favourite material. CONCRETE. Concrete takes over the place.

These are the greyest toilets I think I’ve been in, and as a result these are also some of the coldest toilets I’ve been in. And the scale of the place! It’s huge. You could fit coach loads of people in there. So, you can’t argue with the proportions, or necessarily with the cleanliness, but these are some of the unfriendliest feeling toilets I’ve come across. More Eastern Bloc than Austrian Alps.


Marks out of 10:

3. At least they were serviceable.


Comments to the management:

Even if we shouldn’t expect much for this sort of stop, these toilets are the coldest I’ve come across.

Never Sit on Nasty Toilet Seat at Nelore

Nelore Churrascaria
5350 International Dr
Orlando, FL 32819-9427
www.nelorechurrascaria.com

Where is it?

To reach the bathroom from the main entrance, first head past the fountain that greets you when you walk in. Turn right and you'll come to the hostess station. From there, snake around the walls dividing the entrance area and the bar, which will be to your left, and enter the sprawling main dining room.

You will be in the back right corner of the dining room at this point. In the center of the room is a large salad bar and beyond that, against the far left wall, is a glass enclosed wine room. Go behind that wine room to find the hallway leading to the bathrooms.

What's it like?

Orlando of late has become home to several Brazilian churrascarias, and while this one isn't my favorite in town (that honor easily belongs to the wonderful Texas de Brazil) this one is certainly dependable and offers a decent variation on the experience.

The meats here are have a stronger bite of vinegar and salt to them and on the whole are chewier in texture, which makes them a little more authentically Brazilian, since South Americans tend to like to chew on tougher (and more flavorful) cuts more than most Americans do. The salad bar here is a smaller but has a few more authentically Brazilian items - a real heart of palm salad, for example, with the toothsome palmito used in Brazil versus the mushy one we normally get in the U.S. The wine list is a more modest, the service a little more detached and the dining room more cavernous (and with lots of slick plaster patterns on the walls).

For a change of pace, and to see how others interpret this traditional grilling method, it's an interesting stop. But seeing that it's about the same price as Texas de Brazil (which is expensive to begin with), I think you may be better served with a better dining experience at that location. Nevertheless, you will leave here stuffed to the gills with meat -- if that's the goal, then you really can't go wrong at this place.

The bathrooms are also similar in spirit and style to Texas de Brazil, although they are also not as ambitious. The chambers are a little roomier and lack that Spanish-prison feel of Texas de Brazil. They are better lit and bright, with fewer decorative accouterments like rugs or sleek tile work. But at the same time they have some style and a neato bit of technology that's hard to find outside of Europe (more on that later).

The floor here is covered with small black and white tiles that instantly reminded me of the patterns seen in more modest surroundings, like at Steak n Shake or Theo's Kitchen. The walls are made of drywall and painted white on the bottom and lime green on top, with a molding line separating the two. (The colors reminded me a lot of the pattern used at Nona Sushi, only in this context they were a bit jarring to see at first, since the dining room is dark and classically designed and this carries a slight tropical vibe to it.)

The room itself has a standard setup, with a two sink vanity station up front, two urinals beyond that and two toilet stalls beyond that -- with beige metal divider walls. Similar to the setup at Conservation Station in Disney's Animal Kingdom really.

The vanity has some modern style to it -- so much so that you wonder why the rest of the place is so ordinary-looking. The vanity has white basins in place of sinks and metal spigot faucets above them. All of it sits atop a thick black marble counter and beneath a large, well-lit stretch mirror. Some fake flowers sit to the side of it all, to add to the decor. Again, not as classy as the masonry work found at the vanity in Texas de Brazil's vanity but not bad and certainly unexpected. Kind of had the same wow factor I found at Mr. K's Chinese Cuisine -- you expect plain Jane and get a little style and are thankful for it, but not much more than that.

The urinals and toilets were standard white porcelain, nothing too flashy. Except for the "Automatic Toilet Seat Cover" item that was installed on each toilet. We've seen a similar contraption before at the wonderful Sanifair bathrooms found in Germany. Those, I should say, were a little better integrated into the toilet; these look like after-the-fact add-ons (almost like toilet seat booster chairs) and required a little forethought before sitting down.

Still, the concept is neat: Before you sit to do your business, you push a button and a new seat cover (sterile and clean) spins out for you, ready for the next visitor. This ensures it to be as clean as possible (and with all the meat served here, it's definitely a good option to make, since you know these bathrooms get visited often by the patrons -- there's no other way to make room for the food, really).

Marks out of 10:

7. Clean and predictable, with a few surprises, but nothing grand enough to raise the score above the more stylish Texas de Brazil.

Comments to the Management:

Would like to see the color scheme muted some here, so it's not such a rough transition from dining room to bathroom. Also, more decor on the walls would be nice -- right now, you've got an uneven split of style and ordinary. I'm thinking that a little more style couldn't hurt -- your dining room's got it, why not here?