Tuesday 10 April 2007

Circuit City Toilet Doubles as Unwanted Bidet

Circuit City
6560 20th St
Vero Beach, FL USA 32966


Where is it?

In the very far back left corner of the store, past the music and video collection, the assortment of computer peripherals, telephones and headphones, and the racks of bargain software titles. Just look for the little red sign reading "Restrooms." (And yes, there's reason for this seclusion -- read on.....)

What's it like?

Clean, soulless and perhaps a bit too spacious for it's own good, given the echoes produced here. The walls and floor are covered with white tiles, and the stall doors are colored the same red as the company's logo. Go figure.

Of course, the big shock is the toilet found in the handicap stall, which -- I learned quite surprisingly -- doubles as a bidet. I took a seat here in dire straights, having sufferred a very bad meal just minutes before. (The regular stall was taken, hence my reason for entering the handicap one.) I sat down, did my business and proceeded to flush courteously so as not to bother my fellow crapper. When I did, waves of flushing water raged out from basin and thrashed against the toilet rim, producing a rush of upward moving waterfall of toilet water against my bottom. The water kept slamming against me for about a minute, during which I could do nothing but sit helplessly, clench my jaw in disgust and feel soaked and violated. I shrieked and shrieked. The guy in the stall next to me must have been in hysterics.

Worse still, the bathroom had no towel dispensers, only air dryers, so I could not find nothing but flimsy toilet paper to dry my wet undercarriage. It was perhaps the saddest day of my life. I dabbed at it as best as I could and then -- filled with shame and humiliation -- returned to my shopping, glum look on my face. Just to feel better, I spent $200 on electronics I didn't need, though that really did little to erase the experience from my memory.

Marks out of 10:

2. Would have been higher had I visited the other stall, no doubt.

Comments to the Management:

Perhaps it's time to check the plumbing and water pressure in the handicap stall before someone gets injured -- or too excited to leave.

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