Thai Singha Boasts Mysterious Floating Toilet Seat, Stowed-Away Sponge

Thai Singha
863 N. Alafaya Trail
East Orlando, FL USA 32828-7049

Where is it?

From the front entrance, walk along the left wall of the place and down a short hallway leading to the back corner of the place. The bathrooms are there.

What's it like?

This is a great little Thai restaurant -- perhaps the best in Orlando -- that just happens to be set in one of the worst shopping areas in town, Waterford Lakes. Not that WL offers poor shopping, mind you -- just about every store imaginable can be found here. But the road layout and throngs of impatient young drivers who frequent the area makes getting around here seem death-defying at times.

For example, the other day alone, while driving through here, a young lady in a decked out Toyota Echo (ghetto-style Echo, that is, with rear spoiler, mag wheels, bass-heavy stereo, dark-tint windows and requisite Mardi Gras beads hanging from the rearview mount) backed out in front of us while we were making our way up the parking aisle and proceeded to inch along slowly towards one of the main intersection. Only, after about 50 feet, she turned into a narrow throughway that stretched between two stores and decided to stop her car in the middle of the road. No idea why. Didn't pull over, signal or anything. She just stopped in the middle of the road, and because we were behind her we couldn't move until the oncoming traffic went by! We honked. We motioned for her to move. Did she? HELL NO! A few minutes passed and no one moved. We honked again and then saw that the opposing traffic cleared, so we went around, and as we passed we gave her the "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?" motion, which in turn produced a confused look on her face, like she didn't understand why her stopping in the middle of the road was wrong in any way. That's Waterford Lakes in a nutshell.

Anyway, back to Thai Singha's bathroom. Yes, while this tasteful little strip-mall restroom houses a cozy little bathroom that's busy with decor, it's located a little too closely to the kitchen to provide much serenity. The walls display artful posters of Thailand, as well as some authentic-looking knickknacks. It's a clean bathroom, though on my visit (later in the evening) it had seen the wear of the day take it's toll on it. The floor was covered in paper towels and bits of toilet paper, and some stains could be seen beneath the rim and in the sink.

But most surprising here is the toilet, whose seat seems to float mysteriously between the all-the-way-up stage and the not-quite-all-the-way-down stage. And, of course, it's not that you can't push the toilet seat all the way up and have it stick there -- you can. You can also put the seat all the way down if you like (no, it won't float up on you, it's not THAT kind of toilet seat). However, if you bring it out a bit from the all-the-way-up stage it will stay there for an undetermined amount of time (I timed it at 3 minutes and it showed no signs of wavering!).

Just as eerie was the yellow and green sponge sitting alone behind the mysterious toilet. Was it there accidentally? Was it there, magically supplying the toilet seat with its special hovering powers? Was it there simply to confuse people who were already confused by the toilet seat's special hovering capabitlies?

Sadly, a knock on the door prohibited me from finding further information. Damn that spicy, all-too-delicious Thai cuisine served here and our wishy-washy American stomachs -- they always seem to ruin one's pursuit for answers to the world's many mysteries.

Marks out of 10:

6. While kind of dirty, the magic floating toilet seat does have its charm.

Comments to the Management:

Need to provide more janitorial maintenance throughout the day and not save the clean-up only after the place closes. Then again, perhaps you already are checking on the toilet throughout the day and the magical floating toilet seat enthralls your employs so much that they forget to clean up....

Unpleasant Barnes and Noble Bathroom More Like Dingy Dorm Room Than Classy Bookstore Facility

Barnes and Noble
Waterford Lakes Town Center
481 N Alafaya Trl
Orlando, FL USA
www.barnesandnoble.com

Where is it?

This store has kind of a fat "L" shape to it, with the main entrance to the back apex of the letter's shape. Once inside, you'll see the bargain books and kid's area to the far left, the fiction and music area to the far right and, behind a sea of shelves housing self-help and other thematically tied books, the pre-requisite cafe.

Go to the cafe, which is in the front apex of the "L"-shaped floor plan, and while facing it veer to the right of it. Once there, you'll see a hallway leading behind the cafe some -- the bathrooms are there.

What's it like?

This is a sad affair in terms of a book store. Sure, this location of the popular book store chain has the set-up and familiar design, including wall after all of shelves, a kiddie play area, a music and video area and a cafe, but everything feels somewhat ramshackle inside, as if planners had decided to throw everything and anything that's relevant to a bookstore into the place and hope for the best.

It's a crammed store, from the cashier area that's literally jammed with impulse-buy displays to the aisles of books, which are placed so closely together you feel like you're privacy is being invaded if someone else is in the same row as you. It's not a pleasant environment to be in. It's disorganized and filled with anxiety -- I have trouble relaxing here.

I also have trouble finding the books I want. I came in looking for a copy of Aravind Adiga's novel "The White Tiger," which I assumed would be easy to find because it'd just won the Booker Prize a few weeks earlier and was on U.S. best seller lists. I searched and searched for it but came up empty. Then I asked a clerk, thinking I was just being obtuse and it was in an easy to locate spot, but but the clerk I spoke to had never heard of it and after looking it up in the computer, she said, "Yes, we have a few copies," and then proceeded to take me down the "A" aisle for fiction, which had the book stored under the author's first name instead of his last. So it goes.

But having said that, the interior here pretty indicative of the neighborhood it's in. Orlando's Waterford Lakes region is a cluster of poorly designed traffic ways, impatient people and similar-looking storefronts, half of which are struggling to stay in business and half of which seem to not care if they stay in business or not (like this store, I'm sorry to say). If it didn't have the best Thai restaurant in Orlando, I would not bother coming to this area at all.

The bathroom here is just as disappointing as the rest of the place -- and the shopping area around it. In most cases, bookstore bathrooms are safe havens: Typically clean, quiet, civil. This place is anything but. While it is quiet, it's a smelly mess filled with water and paper, unflushed toilets and mildew-covered sinks. In many ways, coming here is like walking into a dorm room -- the people who should be cleaning it just don't seem to care enough to go through with the job and as such do their job half-assed.

The set-up is pretty standard (almost identical to what was found at Conservation Station in Disney's Animal Kingdom, only this is a tad roomier and it lacks the animal noises heard on the soundtrack to that location): A two-sink station at the front, followed by two urinals (set deep within long stall walls) and then two toilet stalls, the very back one being the handicap stall. A gray and white checkerboard tile pattern covers the floor, white tile covers the walls, except in the back toilet stall where you'll find white drywall.

The vanity is your standard Formica counter top, with bland white sinks and manual faucets and soap dispensers. An automatic air dryer is mounted just off the vanity so you can dry your hands. A ring of noticeable mildew surrounded the sealant lines of the faucets and sinks themselves -- pretty gross.

The urinals are nothing special, as are the toilets: Standard white porcelain models, nothing more. Both have manual flushes, and as such I found both the urinals and toilets in unflushed states. The floor was covered in mis-thrown and discarded paper towels, and the sinks were drenched in water.

Worse still is the stench in the place: Easily the worst-smelling place I've stepped in since visiting that horrid CVS Pharmacy on HWY 80 in Savannah, GA. Not quite as bad as that but still pretty awful; it takes a while for you to get used to it, if you do at all, that is.

Bathrooms in such locations should at the very least be manageable and reliable -- like what was seen at Rainforest Coffee Cafe, Huffkins in Witney, England, or Starbucks, (or to a greater degree, Bongo Java). Instead, we get something approaching horrific. Shameful, I hate to say it.

Marks out of 10:

3. Almost a 4, but the stench was so powerfully awful.....

Comments to the Management:

Need to patrol this place pretty regularly to keep it clean, not just at the end of the day. Also, increase ventilation and add some air fresheners. Automatic flushing systems would ensure no one has to walk in on someone else's leftovers. Use a stronger cleanser to remove all the mildew from around the sink. Bottom line: Make the place comfortable for your customers.

Full-Bodied Stink with Hints of Grossness at Total Wine Raleigh Toilets

Total Wine & More - Raleigh Triangle
Triangle Plaza
6105 Capital Blvd
Raleigh, NC USA 27616
www.totalwine.com

Where is it?

Proving that they must be for customers only, the toilets here are found near the exit, on the other side of the cashiers.

To get to them, you need to enter the store through the main entrance, go left, pass through an empty cashier line (or, if they are blocked, wait through a full one) and then take an immediate right, and go down a hallway composed solely of drywall. The bathrooms are down that hallway.

What's it like?

This mammoth wine and beverage warehouse (part of a chain throughout the southeast U.S.) on Raleigh's bustling Capital Boulevard offers a classy, comprehensive environment that wine, booze and beer lovers will find hard to hate. Aisles upon aisles of wine varietals, plenty of unique and commonly found spirits and a great beer selection (the only place I've been able to find the fine Latvian lager Luksus, believe it or not!) -- as beverage store selections go, this one is near the tops.

I wish I could say the same about the bathrooms, though. Housed in that aforementioned drywall corridor, the toilets here feel cheap, almost tacked on. These are colorless, even classless, facilities.

The walls are white, bare and porous, allowing you to hear just about every sound possible by the nearby string of cashiers. The floors, covered in rough-looking black and gray tile and dark grout, are dour-looking and appear dingier than they really are (or at least probably are). The fixtures are your standard white porcelain variety; clean and in good shape but boring and bland. There are no decorations on the wall or any sense of color anywhere.

Even worse is the sharp smell of urine that permeates the air in here. Really stinging, rivaling the stink more commonly associated with poorly kept gas station stalls. (What is it with fancy-looking stores that have foul smelling toilets? I'm looking at you, Fresh Market Orlando and Bed Bath and Beyond Waterford Lakes, for an answer here!) The smell was so bad, it rivaled the pungency of the toilet I visited at the Riverside Walk trail head in Zion National Park -- and that was an outhouse!

Marks out of 10:

4. Bland environment through and through -- with a smell that lingers long in the nose and palette. Great conceit for wine, not great for bathrooms, though.

Comments to the Management:

For starters, how about putting something on the walls here -- like a circular or some of those general wine vine decorations you can pick up at any dollar store. Next, put some air fresheners here -- you really need it!

Product Placement Does Little to Elevate Bed Bath and Beyond's Bland Bathroom

Bed Bath and Beyond
Waterford Lakes Town Center
397 North Alafaya Trail
Orlando, FL USA 32828

www.bedbathandbeyond.com

Where is it?

Enter the store, turn immediately and head down the hallway found there. The bathrooms will be about 20 feet down that passageway. If you pass the enclave housing the wedding registry desk -- which is directly past that hallway -- you've gone too far.

What's it like?

These housewares superstores tend to be pretty stylish in design, with shelves upon shelves of higher-end home-based products. Given that, you expect the bathrooms to be immaculate and ingeniously designed. Sadly, that isn't the case. On my visit, I found a dirty environment filled with spilled water and bits of trash on the floor -- plus a rather strong aroma of urine in the air.

Worse still, this is a small place, offering only one sink, one urinal and one stall, and because it's set next to the store's main entrance, one hears a lot of foot traffic while inside. Even though only a fraction of that traffic actually reaches the bathroom, the place is still pretty noisy because of the other people walking by. At one point during my visit, the conversation level outside the door got so high I thought a crowd had materialized outside the door to greet me (seeing that I'm a celebrity now after my immensely popular and influential radio interview on KJUG).

Amenity-wise, the place is pretty bland -- a fact that's made all the more disappointing because of all the high-tech bells and whistles found on the sales floor. Visitors will find white tiles on the walls, gray tiles on the floor, and the standard white porcelain toilet and sink you would find in just about any other public restroom. (It's a sad affair when a place called Tacos El Rancho has more stylish and cleaner toilets than Bed Bath and Beyond, don't you think?)

As a means to be clever (I'm assuming), and perhaps seem more stylish and innovative than it really is, the bathrooms have installed two products from the sales floor in them so customers can give them a try "in the real world," so to speak. The first, a soap dispenser pump selling for about $40, stood next to the sink, with a big "Try Me" sticker hanging beside it. Common courtesy (the need to wash my hands after I did my business, essentially) led me to actually give it a whirl, but I didn't think it was anything special and certainly was not worth the asking price (a bottle of soft soap from the grocery store provides a similar effect, I thought, and they're only $1.50).

The trashcan on the floor across from it, also with a "Try Me" sticker on it, along with a price tag offering it for appx. $200, left even less of an impression on me. It's one of those foot-pedal models in which you step on a pedal to lift the top latch and open the trash compartment to you. The latch itself seems stuck in a "partially open/mouth agape" stage, and the fact that there was so much trash on the floor here proved to me that few people were enticed by the product's invitation to trial. Possibly the $200 price tag deterred people as well.

Marks out of 10:

4. Serviceable, but nothing more. Actually, I dropped the score from a 5 because I expected so much more from it.

Comments to the Management:

A better monitoring system should be implemented, so the place looks more presentable. Also, consider installing some actual innovative products for trial here -- it's your store's sales angle, after all!