2007’s Best and Worst Public Toilets

From luxury loos to crappy crappers, Where’s the Toilet? reveals its best and worst public toilet experiences of 2007.

Best movies. Best albums. Best dressed celebrities. Best toilets. As each year ends, the media bombards us with pop-culture based lists that look back on the year’s high and low points.

Not wanting to be left out, David and Eyal, founding editors of Where’s the Toilet?, decided it was perfect time to reveal their best and worst toilet-going experiences of 2007.

“We’ve been though a lot this year,” said Dawson. “We’ve experienced some truly golden moments, no pun intended, as well as some horrific experiences. It seemed foolish not to sum them all up for the end of the year.”

The Toilet Awards for best and worst toilet experiences on Where’s the Toilet? is as follows:

The Top 5

These are what David and Eyal found to be the best toilets experienced of 2007 (based on the site’s ratings):

1. Wynn Las Vegas, NV, USA (bathrooms beside Mojito’s)
2. Lumley Castle Hotel, Chester-Le-Street, UK
3. Hotel Jerome, Aspen, CO, USA
4. Sani Fare Toilets, Various Locations, Germany
5. Okada, Wynn Las Vagas, NV, USA

Editor’s Pick (based on experience): Mall at Millenia, Orlando, Florida, USA (food court toilets)

“It didn’t make our top five list, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a high-quality toilet-going experience,” said Dawson. “We have often marveled at how this toilet, which after all is only in a mall, surpasses expectations. Better still, it provides top class hotel quality for the masses at no charge!”

The Bottom 5

The most downright dreadful toilet experiences of 2007 (based on the site’s ratings):

1. Pho Pasteur, Orlando, FL, USA
2. Ghiradelli, San-Francisco, CA, USA
3. BP Services, Chateauvillain, France
4. Ay Jalisco, Sebastian, FL, USA
5. Oriental Supermarket, Orlando, FL, USA.

Editor’s Pick: The Crappiest Crapper of 2007: Ay Jalisco, Sebastian, FL, USA.

“It’s so bad, we couldn’t even include a picture,” said Dawson. “Needless to say, we will not be visiting again.”

Best and Worst Toilets of 2008

2008 proved to be a landmark year for Where’s the Toilet?

We managed to review more than 150 bathrooms around the world, including some in some faraway and exotic locations as Russia, Singapore, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Australia and more, and also visited toilets in some famous settings, like the Grand Canyon, the Hermitage Museum, Universal Studios Orlando and Grand Central Station, to name a few. Sadly, despite many requests, we were unable to review the toilet in the Minneapolis airport where Sen. Larry Craig was charged with “disorderly conduct.” Maybe next year...

Now that the year is over, we’ve chosen to post our second annual Best and Worst Toilets of the Year list.

So without further delay....

The Top 5

1. Mansion at Forsyth Park (Savannah, GA)

Easily the best of the year -- nothing else came close, and this was the best restroom we visited since our stop at the Wynn Las Vegas bathrooms (which topped our Best Toilets of 2007 list). As we said in our review of the Mansion, this is "a regal, marble-filled environment filled with amazing architectural frills, top-notch cleanliness and peaceful feelings."

2. Barrier Island Sanctuary Management & Education Center (Melbourne Beach, FL)

The best environmentally conscious (or "green") bathroom we visited this year, with a relaxing beach theme woven into the experience. "This bathroom has a lot of ambition and wants to be both stylish and environmentally friendly, and it pulls it off," we said in our review, "putting other high-profile locations to shame, really."

3. Pan Pacific Hotel (Singapore)

Quality is the name of the game at this luxurious stopping point, which features such high-end flourishes as walnut and veneer toilet stall doors and granite walls. "I could spend plenty of time in this place any time," we said in our review. "I look forward to my next visit."

4. Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino (Las Vegas, NV)

We visited plenty of Las Vegas bathrooms this year, and while none matched the jaw-dropping wonder of the Wynn Las Vegas bathrooms, this one, with its art nouveau decor and European feel, came closest.

5. Islands of Adventure at Universal Orlando (Lost Continent Toilets) (Orlando, FL)

The best theme park bathroom we experienced this year. Clean, quiet and practically kid-free -- the fact that it's somewhat tucked away from the park's major attractions certainly helps the quality factor, we thought.

Honorable Mentions:

Pearl Restaurant (Vero Beach, FL) -- A small one-bagger located in a homey restaurant on Florida's Atlantic coast. It takes the elegance of Vegas and brings it down to the everyday level, but doesn't lose the "wow" factor in doing so.

Bicester Outlet Shopping Village (Bicester, UK) -- The best UK bathroom we visited this year. Wood walls, Gilchrist and Soames hand soap, floor-to-ceiling toilet stall doors -- why couldn't the rest of the UK toilets we experienced have been this comfortable?

The Bottom 5

1. Southwest Indian Traders (Cortez, CO)

Not so much a bathroom but a collection of shoddy parts that have been put together without any care. The walls do nothing to protect you from the wind outside (and yes, the wind will catch you where the sun doesn't shine). The visible roof rafters above house dozens of cobwebs. And not all the plumbing works. As we said in our review, "Put an outhouse in the parking lot instead -- it would actually offer more comfort."

2. Kappy’s Submarine Sandwiches (Maitland, FL)

More the setting of a horror movie than a proper bathroom, this place features lights that grow dimmer the longer you stay and a used ketchup bottle containing watery, ineffective hand soap. "This is the stuff of nightmares," we said in our review.

3. Oxford Railway Station (Oxford, England)

The worst English toilet we experienced this year -- and there were some doozies! While it seems clean on the surface, the smell inside was overpowering and nearly every toilet was filled with excrement. Worse still, an attendant stood by the whole time, doing nothing. "Just a disgusting experience," we said in our review. "I wanted to shower after leaving."

4. CVS Pharmacy, HWY 80 (Savannah, GA)

The worst-smelling bathroom we visited all year -- with a smell so foul that you start smelling it from down the hall. A popular store like this should know better.

5. Uncle Bubba’s Oyster House (Savannah, GA)

Part of Paula Deen's restaurant empire and where the Southern food queen films her Paula's Party show. The place specializes in seafood you eat with your hands, like peel-and-eat shrimp and oysters, but the bathroom doesn't have soap to clean your hands with, or towels -- just Purell and a hand drier that doesn't work. As you can imagine, the fish odor here is pretty extreme.

Honorable Mentions:

Homebase (Oxford, England) -- A home repair store where almost everything in the bathroom is out of order and covered in filth. Word to the wise: Don't touch anything!

Waffle House (Walterboro, SC) -- A notch below the typical Waffle House bathroom, with plenty of grime-covered utilities and a not-so-heavenly aroma of trash and mildew in the air.

Seen One Sam's Club Toilet, Seen Them All

Sam's Club
7701 East Colonial Drive
Orlando, FL USA
www.samsclub.com

Where is it?

Enter the building through the main entrance, take an immediate right, and then walk along the front wall, past the front displays and the snack counter, to the back corner there. The toilets will be about 100 feet past the snack counter.

What's it like?

This is our second visit to a Sam's Club bathroom (the first being the Sam's Club in Melbourne, FL) and really I can't see much difference between the two I've visited, feature-wise or design-wise, outside of the fact that this one is a bit smaller than the Melbourne location. An ironic twist, really, since this warehouse store is actually bigger in size than the store in Melbourne. Why that is, I can't even begin to speculate.

Anyway, like that location, this is a boxy environment with gray tiles on the floor and off-white tile on the walls. Both were a little scruffy and worn down but nothing too impossible to deal with.

There are three toilet stalls here, with the back one being the handicapped one. The toilets are white porcelain, each a little lower to the ground than what I would have liked (not as low as the DeSoto Hilton toilets in Savannah, GA, but not too far off). They have automatic flushes, gray dividers that match the floor tiles and Teutonic plastic toilet paper holders.

For the most part, they were clean, though there was some detectable grunge on the grout and some dribbled water on the floor around them. Everything was in working order in the stalls, except the middle stall, whose automatic flush wasn't in operation, as indicated by the sign above the toilet reading, "MANUAL FLUSH USE HANDLE!"

Opposite the stalls is a large vanity area with a 10-foot-plus stretch mirror (no frame) fixed to the wall and a plastic trough-like sink (same style as what we saw in the Melbourne location) which has sensor-driven faucets set above a number of pull-outs in the trough (you stick your hand under and three weak streams of water hit your hand). The sink trough, like the toilets, was also a bit lower than I would have liked it to be.

No automatic soap dispensers and instead atop the sink are various pumps of hand soap (again, like the Melbourne location). Though, it should be noted that there is a proper soap dispenser fixed to the wall to the right of the sink, but it was empty and looked like it hadn't been used in ages.

A steel towel dispenser and two hand dryers hang on the wall to the left of the sink area, as does a baby-changing station. To the right of the sink are two urinals, one low and one high, with a gray divider in between. There was a sign in front of the urinals for a wet floor -- I'm thinking there's some leaking issues (both from the pipes and the people visiting it) there.

Like the Melbourne location, the place is Teutonic and cold, but it's also functional. But unlike the Melbourne location, this one isn't put together with the same solidness. As mentioned earlier, the place feels worn down and pieced together a bit cheaply (not as bad as the Babys R Us toilets we recently visited, but not far off).

The place had a slight smell of urine, but nothing terrible. One question I had with it though was the wired plug I found below the handicap stall sink. Why was it there? What did it connect to? I have no idea. I just seemed weird, seeing it there, and I wondered how many sparks would fly if/when that sink overflowed with water.

Marks out of 10:

5. Same features as the Sam's Club we visited in Melbourne, FL, but it's smaller, not as clean and very worn down.

Comments to the Management:

Place needs a good sprucing up, as well as some updating. Time to really polish those tiles, get the toilets in working order, fix the leaks and put some water pressure behind those automatic sinks. Also, couldn't hurt to hide the wiring below the sink in the handicap stall -- just looks dangerous, hanging out there like that.

Rainforest Coffee Company Bathroom Packed with Beer Ads, Not Coffee Ads

Rainforest Coffee Company
526 S Hunt Club Blvd
Apopka, FL USA

Where is it?

This is another long and thin interior, like the recently reviewed Pannullo's, only unlike that place you have a few more obstacles to cross in order to reach the bathroom.

From the front entrance, head to the back of the place, crossing a wine bar on your left and then a coffee bar on your right (which also has a window cooler for cakes and such), as well as a small assortment of couches and cafe tables taking up the spaces in between.

At the back wall, you'll see a door leading to a small kitchen on the far right and a small hallway leading to the rear of the establishment in the dead center of the back wall. The bathrooms are down that hallway.

What's it like?

This is a little neighborhood coffee house and wine bar located just north of Altamonte Springs, in the northern regions of the Orlando area. The place itself looks and feels similar to many of its coffee house brethren, in that the decor is homey yet funky and the spaces are meant for lounging and sipping beer, coffee or wine and for whiling away a few hours. Think of Bongo Java in Nashville, only without the crazy comic-book-inspired drawings. Or Huffkins in Witney, England.

Though having said that it's homey-er in here than those places -- while most coffee house chains (Starbucks, Barnie's, etc.) make their dining rooms hip hangouts with lots of polished decor, this one has a more homespun air to the arrangement. It's hip but earthy, if you will. Part of that's from wear and tear, but part's also from it being independently decorated.

The coffee is decent and the wine and beer selection (bottles only) are better than expected. The food is okay, though one of the two cakes I sampled tasted like it'd been in a cooler well past its due date. I've heard the sandwiches are good, but I didn't try them.

Judging from my visit, I will say the clientele is a tad sketchy and rough around the edges, which I think is perhaps due in part that the location of the store is a bit out of the way for most semi-sophisticated coffee drinkers or wine drinkers to visit. On my stop, a particular regular sitting at the wine bar decided to start up a rather volatile and long-winded drunken tirade aimed at nearly all the other customers there, the acoustic duo playing on a stage setup by the entrance hall to the bathrooms (the duo were friends of mine) and, what seemed, herself. Really, it was a bloody mess -- who thought boozers hung out and drank freely at coffee houses? Not I, until I visited here.

Anyway, when we asked the owner if he would mind stepping in and quieting things, he said that she was a regular who usually garnered a $60 bar tab and as such he felt that he needed to cut her a little slack. I appreciate the sentiment, considering today's economic woes, but at the same time you wonder if his other customers mattered much in comparison. I'm not so sure, to be honest, but I'll leave my speculations at that.

Anyway, the bathrooms don't extend the homespun hipness of the dining room. In fact, they feel more in line with what was found at Sharky's Shrimp Shack and the Long Point Cafe than anything else. One-baggers, single-chamber units, with the bare necessities and little else. Only it's not as polished as those.

It should be noted that the toilets here have many more beer ads than one might expect. In fact, I haven't seen so many beer ads in a bathroom since visiting the Pig and Whistle Pub in Sebastian, FL. Of course, this place isn't that extensive, but it's still more than what I would expect a coffee house to have. Clearly, this place is on some mailing lists!

Anyway, the place has just one toilet, one sink station and one urinal -- all white porcelain and all pretty standard in make and model (take the beer ads out and you probably couldn't tell the difference between this place and the toilet at World Market Sand Lake Road, for example). The floors are covered with that standard red-brick tile we've seen at countless other places, like Harris Teeter Raleigh and Fresh Market Orlando, among others. The walls are white drywall -- again, nothing special.

Everything was pretty clean, though the floor was dotted with lots of pieces of paper -- not sure if that was from some deteriorating beer ads or from the toilet paper or paper towels. Most likely the latter, since the towel dispenser was empty and instead of refilling it a nearly empty roll sat atop the sink for all to use (or make confetti from).

Elsewhere, there was some noticeable wear and tear in the seams behind the sink and the toilet -- and there was an mountable air freshener slipped into the area behind the door.

Marks out of 10:

5. Not terrible, but not great either. You could see the place going up or down in score on any given night, really.

Comments to the Management:

I don't mind the beer ads, but a more creative presentation might be better instead of just piling them on the back wall. And why not make the interior homey, like what's been done at Greens and Grille, or to a lesser degree, the Ravenous Pig? And it couldn't hurt to keep the paper towel dispenser stocked up so there isn't as much confetti on the floor.

Outhouse #10: Four Corners Port-O-Let No Different Than Other Port-O-Lets (Including Those at Expensive Wedding Banquets)

Four Corners National Monument
Port-O-Let #430
PO Box 2520
Window Rock, AZ USA
navajonationparks.org/htm/fourcorners.htm

Where is it?

Pretty easy to find. Just look for the Visitors Center. To the right of that is a stand for Navajo Fry Bread.

Walk between the Visitors Center Building and Fry Bread stand and you'll find a row of port-o-potties. (In fact, a circle of port-o-potties surround all the stands here.) Look for #430 and you've found the one I visited. Woohoo!

What's it like?

Four Corners National Monument has a sort of mythic standing in my life, as it seems to be one of the few places many people who have traveled across the U.S. have been, and of it they always say the same thing: "Eh, it's kind of a let down."

After visiting finally, I now understand what they mean by that statement.

What the monument itself is is just a point in U.S. geography, and when you visit you see a small cross hair marking indicating where Colorado, Utah, New Mexico and Arizona meet. That's it.

There's another Four Corners in the U.S., of course -- one in Virginia that brings together that state, West Virginia, Maryland and Washington, D.C. (click here if you're interested in the location of that one) but that one never receives as much press, perhaps because the landscape isn't as barren (can't say for sure, since I've never been that one).

Anyway, this experience is mostly about the "been there, done that" variety. The land itself is owned by the Navajo nation, and to get in you pay $3 per car to get in. You park, you go up to a small area surrounded by flags that holds a marker where the four states intersect, you take your picture, stand on the marker, take pictures of others in your party standing on the marker, peruse the stalls (about 20 in all) selling fry bread, T-shirts or various Navajo knickknacks, go into the Visitors Center for a short spell (which has a brief history of the place, along with more knickknacks for sale), use the port-o-potty and leave.

That's about it. Takes 15 minutes at most per visit, as long as you don't have to wait long to take your picture. If you see tour buses there, then you may want to be patient (or pushy) with your picture-taking.

Yes, a bit of a let down, but then again you're kind of glad you went because at least you can say you've been there and now you can honestly tell other people who are contemplating visiting it that it really isn't worth a stop unless it's on your way somewhere.

And of course, they in turn will say treat your remarks just as I treated the ones I was greeted with before my visit. So it goes.

Anyway, the port-o-let I visited here, like the monument itself, was nothing special. A standard port-o-let, through and through. It was about as clean as any port-o-let gets on the inside. Beige plastic unit with beige plastic walls, a beige plastic swinging door with a metal hinge lock on the door, a side receptacle for peeing, a central toilet filled with blue chemical water and mounds of human waste. And two full rolls of toilet paper, which indeed is a a rarity for port-o-lets, since their toilet paper supplies tend to run out.

The pee receptacle was crusted with various dried elements, making that a bit of a ghastly site. As was the sheer mammoth amount of waste in the toilet hole itself.

But the smell wasn't any worse than any of the other outhouses I've been to and in some ways it was a bit cleaner than some of the indoor toilets I've been too -- though not by much.

Even more amusing, I thought, was that this outhouse was more out in the open than the horrid toilet I visited at the Southwest Indian Traders (about 25 minutes away), which was attached to a building, yet this port-o-let was far less shoddier in in terms of construction and far less draftier than that one. Go figure.

As a bonus, it should also be worth stating that the port-o-let here was no better or worse than the one I experienced at a fancy wedding in Winter Park, FL some years back. Which of course tells me that the port-o-let experience does not change across income brackets. Spend more, spend less -- it's still a port-o-let, right? Right.

Well, except maybe for one thing: The Four Corners port-o-let I visited had GPS tracking, and the one I visited at the fancy wedding in Winter Park, FL did not. For that alone, I give the edge to this one.

Marks out of 10:

3.

Comments to the Management:

It's a port-o-let and doesn't try to be anything else, so what's there to recommend?

Design Flaws and Offputting Colors Highlight Visit to Lotus Blossom Cafe Bathroom at Disney's EPCOT Them Park

Lotus Blossom Cafe
EPCOT
China Pavilion
Orlando, FL USA
www.epcot.com

Where is it?

Head to the China Pavilion so that you are passing the Norway Pavilion in the World Showcase instead of coming in from the other direction. Or, if you are coming from the other direction, just head to the part of the China Pavilion that borders on the Norway Pavilion.

Once in China, head to the side of the Pavilion that borders the Norway Pavilion (but you're still in China -- just the back border of it) and head towards the recreation of a mammoth Chinese temple there, which in itself is surrounded by a pretty pristine garden area.

Walk along that back pathway there. About 100 feet in, you'll see the semi-outdoor dining area to the Lotus Blossom Cafe. Keep going forward and you'll come to the entrance to the restaurant, . Go beyond that and you'll enter the area's shops and attractions, which are nice but not the focus here.

Once inside, go left, into the dining room, and head to the back wall of the place. Once there, you'll see a hallway opening with a blue sign above it reading, "Restrooms."

Go down that hallway (it's a pretty long one, to be honest). The first door you come to is the men's room, the second is the women's. Beyond that are supply closets and behind-the-scenes passageways for employees.

What's it like?

Design-wise, the China Pavilion is pretty impressive. The gardens are indeed immaculate, as is the faux architecture constructed here. It looks like you've stepped into a well-kept tourist site in mainland China.

The main attraction here is the CircleVision 360 movie showing the many shapes and spectacles of China's natural landscapes, which indeed is a wonderful show. Also worth seeing is the acrobatics demonstration put on here several times a day in the very front of the pavilion, which showcases some wonderful theatrics.

Each EPCOT World Showcase pavilion tends to have a casual dining spot and a high-end one. The Nine Dragons is the high end spot here, and the Lotus Blossom Cafe (as you can tell from the description above) is the casual eatery.

I should say that I did not eat here -- nor have I ever eaten here -- though the smells I walked through seemed pleasant enough. The menu, what I saw of it as I passed, appeared to be filled with the standard fast food Chinese dishes, as well as a couple of specialties. Can't say if it's any good though.

What I can say, however, is that the bathrooms are very unique. Unique in a way that reminded me of the bizarre design touches found at Bloomindale's Orlando, only just not as extreme. But like that place, the design here lacks a good deal of practicality.

Visitors here will find a decently sized square-shaped bathroom with two toilet stalls, two sinks and two urinals. Setup of those items is a bit strange, though, as it all seems to be built on a high/low principal of Feng Shui. (Note: I'm not expert in Feng Shui, but I do know it revolves around space and patterns used within that space.)

For example, it's got one urinal lowered for kiddie visitors and one up higher for adults. Perfectly normal if you think about it, because that's pretty common -- and surely not as extreme as IKEA Orlando, which has an entire corner of a bathroom lowered for kids

But then the same idea gets put on the sinks, which have one high sink and one low sink. And both sinks are part of the same counter. Again, not too bad, except that the lower one has a tendency to pool water because of its design. Double that with the fact that kids don't think about the mess they make and what you get is a near lagoon of spilled water found on the lower sink. Looks good, sure, but it's not practical. And the inclusion of automatic sinks didn't help either, if you think about it. (Many soap pumps, however.)

The toilet stalls don't follow the high/low principle, but they do adopt the large/small concept since one is a handicap stall and the other is regular. So, if you stretch the idea some, it fits as well. (Automatic flushes all around, by the way.)

Other strange design choices include a front atrium area, which like the one in Bloomindale's Orlando, just feels totally unnecessary, and the baby changing area, which has been crammed into the back corner (beside the paper towel dispenser) so that, if it's in use, it both corners the baby and parent using it (because of people coming to get towels to dry their hands -- and they'll need to after seeing that waterlogged sink) and blocks access for others to the paper towel dispenser, since no one will want to get close to the baby as its being changed. Seems like the baby changing station should be moved to the front atrium area, since that has no purpose as is.

A more dangerous design flaw can be found inside the toilet stalls themselves. The coat hook inside them has been placed next to the door lock. This means that if you're getting out, you have to avoid the coat hook otherwise you'll run right into it and hurt yourself. Not a big deal in the handicap stall, since there's more width there, but the regular stall is narrow and performing such a maneuver isn't as easy as it looks given the limited space.

And then, on top of those flaws, is the the color scheme, which sticks out quite pronouncedly here. In fact, it's so off color and clashing that you may find yourself squinting while you're inside. And it's especially bad because of the overly bright lighting used here.

Now, I should say that I'm not opposed to unique colors in a bathroom. Sometimes it even works to the bathroom's advantage, like at the Barrier Island Center in Melbourne Beach, FL or (in another direction) Bongo Java in Nashville, TN. Here, however, the desire to appear unique has backfired significantly.

The walls are covered in deep brown tiles, but the highlights are bright lime green. Very clashing. Makes it look like you stepped into an exhibition that was only partly done, if you know what I mean.

Now I know this might work in the restaurant's dining room -- and it does to an extent -- but in a more confined area, where you can't look beyond the tacky decor and onto something more worthwhile (like a garden surrounding a recreation of a Chinese temple), it feels nightmarish. (Perhaps if you'd done something unique with the lighting, like what Teremok in St. Petersburg, Russia did, it would have lifted the effect into cute novelty status, but that isn't the case, sadly.)

Odor-wise, the place isn't bad -- some urine in the air and some dankness from the water, but nothing too bad. It's kind of expected to have some stink in a theme park bathroom, after all -- that was the case with Universal Orlando Islands of Adventure, after all. Also, there was some trash on the floor, however, as well as a good amount of water around the sink area (as stated earlier).

Marks out of 10:

5. At its heart, a decent bathroom, but the design eccentricities have totally backfired here, making it somewhat unpleasant to experience.

Comments to the Management:

Change the color scheme, make the design more uniform, clean the place more regularly. Heck, if Universal Orlando Islands of Adventure can do it, why not Disney? Not sure what else can be said.

Hey, we're from New Yawk here

Flakowitz Bagel Inn
1999 N. Federal Highway
Boca Raton, FL USA 33432

Where is it?

From the front door: Look to the left, passed the busy dining room, at the New York-inspired mural on the back wall (filled with references to the Yankees and Brooklyn Dodgers) and you'll see two little black doors -- one for men's and one for women's.

What's it like?

This is a standard south-Florida deli and bagel shop. The food's decent -- particularly the smoked white fish and sable -- though I've had better bagels (like at Roasters n Toasters in Miami). The biali is more like a toasted hamburger bun than a proper biali, but still the food is decent.

The toilets follow that mentality. Clean, though nothing out of the ordinary. White tile floor. White porcelain sink and toilets. Brown stall doors. A few chips in the wall and some wear and tear on the sink, otherwise perfectly serviceable, though nothing else. Given that this place is in the heart of Boca, with plenty of elderly New York transplants living nearby, I imagine the bathroom gets lots of use -- hence the emphasis on serviceability over style, no?

Marks out of 10:

6. About as clean as any bagel or deli you'll find in Manhattan.

Comments to the Management:

Could use a little cleaning up and restoration. Or better yet -- carry the fun theme of the mural into the toilets!

Does Medicine Cabinet Reveal Country Ham n Eggs' Smelly Secret?

Country Ham N Eggs Restaurant
709 US Highway 1
Sebastian, FL USA 32958

Where is it?

From the entrance, turn right and head to the back corner of the dining room. The bathrooms are there. Of course, this is a small place, so don't expect to go very far -- the entrance to the men's room is only a few feet from a table (clearly for the establishment's less-desirable clientele).

What's it like?

This restaurant's name pretty much gives you a clue as to what the toilet will be like. This is a humble towny diner serving decent breakfasts at reasonable prices. Good country ham too, in case you're wondering.

The interior reminded me a lot of the inside of a mobile, with white faux-wood fiberboard walls and Formica tables and a bit coffee station in the middle. The bathrooms extend that decor -- clean and homey, but also a bit on the trailer-park side (no doubt the desired effect, I'm thinking). That same fiberboard covers the walls here, given a cozy, insulated feel to the room. The toilet, sink and linoleum floor tiles are clean but well-worn.

The only odd part is a cheap-looking wooden medicine cabinet hanging above the sink. While it certainly extends a sense of hominess here, it also draws too much interest. As most people do in a person's home bathroom, I peered inside the cabinet on my visit here and -- to my surprise -- found two cans of air freshener.

Two cans!

Isn't one enough? Are the smells produced here so bad that the first can needs reinforcement? Or do the odors here spread so quickly that two cans are needed to diffuse the stink before they reach the dining room tables beyond the door?

Of course, I didn't smell anything while I was here, but then perhaps the sprays were already in effect before I entered. Very strange.

Marks out of 10:

6. Cozy, comfy country feelings through and through. Though still a little bit too "country" for me.

Comments to the Management:

Lock the medicine cabinet. I'd rather NOT know what's inside.

Islands of Adventure: Second Super Hero Island Toilets Suck

Islands of Adventure Theme Park
Super Hero Island Toilet 2
Universal Orlando Resort
1000 Universal Studios Plaza
Orlando, FL USA
www.universalorlando.com

Where is it?

From the Hulk Coaster, head further into Super Hero Island, towards the Spiderman ride, also one of the park's biggest draws (and one of the best rides I've ever been on -- just outstanding fun!).

Pass Spiderman and keep on going down that main path. You'll see a "Frozen Ice" stand on your right -- the letters drawn out in a comic-book-inspired font that will make you think this is the most extreme frozen ice stand in the world (and perhaps it is, though I didn't stop there on my way to the loo).

Across the street from that stand is the restrooms, marked by the word "RESTROOMS" in large comic-book lettering (the same way as you see them by the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets).

What's it like?

The Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets I experienced were in a very crowded area filled with kids and adults, and they ended up being clean and nice. Not outstanding, but nice.

These facilities were surrounded by just as many people but the experience was opposite. There was a sharp smell of urine in here. The floor was covered in spilled water, paper and other substances. The toilet seats I spotted were dotted with pee. I am wondering if those little target stickers at the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets actually helped people aim, because these toilets were filled with the aftereffects of many marksmen who missed their marks. Ick.

Which is sad, because this place is a little roomier and friendlier in design than the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets. Though the differences are not great. There is still a row of urinals against the back wall and a stretch of toilet commodes opposite it. A set of sink stations sits ups front. The rest of the bathroom kind of unfolds behind the sinks.

The tile pattern on the wall is warmer here -- like the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets the walls and floor have a gray tile pattern and bland gray floor tiles, but the walls are also dotted with colorful blue, red and yellow highlights, which are more pleasant than the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets use of straight gray.

Still, despite those advantages, I could not look past the messiness of the place, nor its urine-based stink. As with the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets, I understand there will be some messiness involved. After all, this place is visited by thousands of people each week. But the traffic around these toilets and the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets was about the same (at least, from what I could see) and I was surprised by how much cleaner the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets were over these.

Not the worst toilets I experienced while at Islands of Adventure (those are the Toon Lagoon facilities -- review coming soon), but these were definitely in the lower echelon. Avoid if possible and walk the extra 10 minutes to the Jurassic Park toilets if you're in dire need.

Marks out of 10:

4. A nice mass-market design marred by a lack of upkeep.

Comments to the Management:

Simply put: You need to schedule your cleaners to visit this place more often. These toilets should be much cleaner than the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets (in case I haven't used that term enough in this review). They are more removed from the main action and not set next to a sit-down dining establishment. I'm thinking that because of their location, they are not cleaned as regularly -- that's a shame. These are good toilets that deserve better.

Hot Dog Joint's Bathroom Doubles as Shrine to Chicago Cubs

All-American Hot Dogs
861 N Alafaya Trail
Orlando, FL USA 32828

www.allamericanhotdogcaterers.com

Where is it?

Simple enough: From the from entrance, walk along the right wall of the place all the way to the back of the store, past the dining room, kitchen and supply room. You'll find the bathrooms in the small enclave located there.

What's it like?

The place's name may say "All-American," but this hot dog spot specializes in Chicago dogs -- that is, all-beef weiners covered with relish, mustard, pickles, sport peppers, tomatoes and celery salt. Really, in my opinion, one of the better styles of hot dog found in the U.S.

Of course, Orlando already has one great Chicago dog place in town, the unique Hot Dog Heaven, which serves great dogs and has the best fries in town, but it also only seems to be open only when its owners feel like showing up, which is rare indeed. Thankfully, All-American Hot Dogs equals the dog quality of Heaven - and the fact that it was open when we arrived quickly boosted it ahead of Heaven in the standings, at least for now.

The bathrooms take the place's love of Chicago one step further, offering a cozy environment that pays homage (or better yet offers a bathroom-housed shrine) to the town's beloved Cubs. (Of course, my friends from Chicago say that Cubs' fandom of late is regailed to tourists only, and real Chicago sports fans lean towards White Sox, but that's a debate for another forum.)

The walls here are painted in Cubs' red, white and blue (and no doubt allude to the restaurant's name as well) and framed pictures of famed Cubs players line the walls, like Sammy Sosa, Kerry Wood, Ryne Sandberg and the rest. It's a kitchy, cool environment that even Steve Bartman would love!

One drawback: While the surfaces of this loo looks clean, closer inspection showed bits of weathering and mildew in the more hidden-away spots (under the toilet rim, beneath the faucet). This leads me to think the employees (most of them teens) aren't spending as much time cleaning the toilets as they are the other parts of the restaurant, which looked spotless.

Marks out of 10:

7. Would have been higher had it not been for those bits of grime found in the hard-to-reach areas.

Comments to the Management:

Time to get your employees to use a little elbow grease and get that bathroom spic-n-span. If you don't, then the Cubs will have another losing season, guaranteed!

Sam's Shows Faucet's Future, Soap's Present

Sam's Club
4255 W. NEW HAVEN AVE.
MELBOURNE , FL USA 32904

www.samsclub.com

Where is it?

About 50 feet to the left of the snack bar, but just before the cigarette department.

What's it like?

Teutonic and clean, as expected from this faceless warehouse club. Though having said that, this location does try to step up the innovation level -- namely in the sink here, which look more like a long-plastic piss trough than a sink. (see picture)

Step up to the sink, place your hand in front of the sensor there, and a triple-jet of water spurts out at you and then runs down a long drain towards a centrally located drain. Pretty neat, in a cold if I do say so myself, and with warm water -- unlike other locations.

Having said that, though, the water pressure could be stronger, and I found it very odd that the soap dispenser turned out to be just a standard pump bottle of soft soap you can buy at any supermarket (or at any Sam's, in bulk quantity, of course), sitting on the counter. I guess you can't have everything.

Marks out of 10:

7. The sinks almost made it an 8, save for that bottle of hand soap.

Comments to the Management:

Don't stop there! We want more automatic features! NOW! I suggest starting with an automatic soap dispenser.

Arty Flourishes Can't Hide the Fact that Theater's Toilet is Just Another Public Facility

Mad Cow Theatre
105 South Magnolia Avenue
Orlando, FL USA 32801

www.madcowtheatre.com

Where is it?

A long ways away. From the lobby, follow the "Restroom" signs all the way down the lengthy hallway leading past the black box theater here (there are two theaters here, one on each side of the lobby), around the corner, back through a few twists and turns, through a set of double doors and into the lobby of the office building behind the theater business itself. Then, head forward and stay right -- go left and you'll come face to face with three elevators -- and enter a little enclave there. The bathrooms are located there. Just look for the out-of-place-looking Chinese-style wall hangings for a sign that's you're close.

What's it like?

It's the public toilet for an office building, so it's pretty clean and well-kept and even somewhat stately in appearance. Marble tiles cover the floor and walls. Sinks and the paper towel dispenser are automatic. The stalls and urinals are spotless with solid, well-maintained metal doors between everything. The decor is light and elegant.

And while this makes it out to be a very well-kept toilet, it's also a very busy place -- too busy for any interior pictures, I'm afraid. That's because it's used not only by theater patrons but also the by the people who work in the building it's housed in and the various people passing by on the street who need to make a quick pitstop before heading somewhere else.

On one of my visits, a shabbily dressed drunkard walked in and utterred his amazement with the fact that the automatic paper towel dispenser went off when he passed it while heading to the urinal.

"Shit, that gets me every time," he said.

I just smiled and walked away, though the fact that he said "every time" kind of stuck in my head. I guess locking the building door would have been too much to ask?

Marks out of 10:

6. Would have been an 8 or 9 were it not for the vagrancy factor.

Comments to the Management:

I've said it before, I'll say it again: I guess locking the building door would have been too much to ask?