Creepy Bathroom at D-Lites Located At End of Very Long, Long Hallway

D'Lites Emporium
1906 S. Dale Mabry Hwy
Tampa, FL USA
www.tampabaydlites.com

Where is it?

Prepare for a trek.

From the front entrance, head to the back of the store, past the scant number of shelves housing various health foods and, further back, the order counter, where you can get your diet-friendly desserts dished up. Veer to the left of the order counter and head down the long hallway there.

That hallway will literally snake to the very back of the business -- it's a hallway that seems about three times as long as the main store's length. Along the way, you'll pass various supply closets, piles of supplies (both cleaning and food-related), and a number of doors leading to (no doubt) mysterious places.

When you've reach the place's back exit, know that this is the actual end of the hallway. You cannot go on any further down that hallway without going outside the building and ending up in the back parking lot. To the immediate right of the exit door is a white door. In there is the bathroom.

What's it like?

This humble store front, lodged into a slightly run-down strip mall in south Tampa, offers decent tasting frozen desserts (like frozen yogurt, but not) for the calorie conscious. A small, one-scoop serving of its resident dessert concoction has, supposedly, only 50 calories to it. To keep things friendly on the belly, toppings include items like carob chips (instead of chocolate chips) .

In addition, visitors can get iced drinks and shakes, cakes, bulk containers of the frozen treat, as well as items like high-fiber pasta and sugar-free dessert toppings, found on the handful of shelves in the front of the store.

I can't say it's the best frozen dessert I've ever had, but considering that it's not as bad for you as those items it's not too bad either. Worth a visit if you're in the area.

The bathroom here is not worth a visit, though.

As mentioned before, it's at the end of a very long hallway - it's very, very long, abnormally so. You don't really figure it will be that long of a hallway because the store itself is pretty small. But this thing just keeps going on and on, twisting around corners, taking you by all sorts of industrial-looking items like ladders and milk crates. By the time you reach the back, you feel like you're in another world.

At first, I thought this was due to the fitness/diet motif of the place. People are coming here for diet-friendly desserts, so why not make them walk one or two miles to use the restroom.

But then the hallway itself, and the bathroom at the end of it, aren't exactly pleasant places to be. They feel isolated and makeshift, almost ruse-like, as if they were constructed not for a purpose but as a place where lesser elements might take victims. I am exaggerating to an extent on the purpose here, but YES, IT'S THAT SCARY.

After a long journey, you expect to find a place that's at least a little bit welcoming. But instead, you find a place better suited to John Wayne Gacy. I mean no disrespect to the owners here, but it's damn creepy down that hallway and in that bathroom!

I mean, there are bars on the window in the bathroom! WHY?!?!?

The room itself is a small one-bagger chamber containing a number of pieced together parts, like a toilet that looks like it was picked up in a yard sale, a white, wood-framed mirror that looks like its frame was once another color, and a standard white porcelain sink with ugly chrome faucets.

The walls here are basic white drywall, the floors covered in basic rectangular tile, slightly off-white in color. The walls are pretty bare, save for a lone poster advertising the place's diet-friendly frozen treat. The poster reads: "Add a new twist to your lifestyle." Given the creepy setting around me, I must admit I felt pretty uneasy about the implications of that statement.

The toilet itself has some pretty sharp water stains in the basin. The unit itself sits flat on the ground but right behind it is a little lip in the floor, about two inches up, that offers a solitary home to the plunger. It's a similar concept to what I saw at Westminster Abbey, only that (and its FEMBIN can) the lip there was much larger and less purposeful.

A little strange to offer a shelf entirely to a plunger, I think, but then again I've seen stranger in a toilet, like Fixodent, hydrogen peroxide, and foot cream. And even with the oddly placed shelf/lip, it's still a more user-friendly setup than what I found at Bloomingdale's Orlando.

Also strange is the proximity in which the toilet paper holder is placed to the toilet. It's practically jammed next to it, making it all but impossible for anyone sitting down on the toilet to not slam into the thing while trying to get up. To not do so, you literally have to slide into position from the side, which is not as easy as it sounds, believe me.

The sink itself also has its share of hard water stains, and its faucets don't work correctly. The left faucet produces a spraying stream of water from the spigot (as opposed to a clean stream -- you kind of get it all over you here). The right faucet produces only a tiny trickle of water, not even enough to get soap off your hands easily.

Another oddity is the paper towel dispenser: It hands on the wall in the back left corner, beside the creepy poster for the business and above a lonely looking stainless steel trashcan that's maybe about a foot high. The dispenser itself is a large, translucent plastic cylinder in which you tear off bits of paper from the bottom. On it, you'll find a homemade sign reading: "Please help save the trees."

Now, I'm not sure why it says that. Is it implying that I should not dry my hands? If so, then what other alternative to I have? There is no air dryer here, only toilet paper, which, if I use, is the same as killing another tree, isn't it?

And then I thought: Perhaps the sign was a bit of advice, implying that if I left the bathroom with wet hands, I could use that water for sustenance on the long trip back to the front of the store. I wasn't sure. I used a towel regardless and then hurried back, for fear that someone might burst through the bar-covered window if I lingered too long.

Easily the creepiest toilet -- much more so than others I've been in, like Teramok in St. Petersburg, Russia, Holopaw Restaurant and Kappy's.

Marks out of 10:

3. Very, very creepy.

Comments to the Management:

My first priority here would be to make the bathroom a place that welcomes visitors more. Put some fun decor on the walls, paint the walls friendly colors (like the same colors as some of your friendly looking diet-friendly treats?). If you can't remove the bars from the window, then cover the window up -- we don't need to see that.

Then start working on making the passageway more friendly to wall through and not such a wasteland of cleaning supplies and other forgotten trinkets. If you can, bring the bathroom closer to the main store so as not to make it feel so detached from the rest of the place. And clean the place up some -- lose the water stains, get the sink working properly.

Boogers Found on Wall of Bathroom at Cinemark Festival Bay Movie Theater

Cinemark Festival Bay Mall
5150 International Drive
Orlando, FL USA
www.cinemark.com

Where is it?

There are several bathrooms located inside this movie theater. This one is located in the far right (eastbound?) wing of the theater itself.

To get there, enter through the lobby and, after handing your ticket to the usher, veer off to the right and down the main hallway there leading to the theaters in that end of the establishment.

As you go, you'll immediately pass the main concession stand on your left, as well as the entrances to one of the the theater's larger stadiums (there's another, similar one on the other end of the concession stand) then a small hallway leading to three or four smaller theaters (which will be on your right). Keep going straight, until you hit the back wall (you'll pass a smaller concession stand on your left as you walk, though this one is often closed), which itself places you dead center in another longer hallway, which has six or so theaters to each side.

Go left and you'll see the restroom sign hanging from the ceiling. Turn left when you reach the sign and go right for the men's room and left for the women's.

What's it like?

This is a decent, standard multiplex theater slapped at the very end of Orlando's International Drive, the city's primary non-Disney-based tourism strip. The theater itself is one of the cornerstone businesses in the Festival Bay Mall, which has several worthwhile stores and eateries (my favorite in the mall being Fuddruckers) but also houses a number of empty storefronts, which makes shopping there a touch on the unsettling side. (The mall itself is across the street from Texas de Brazil and Orlando's Prime Outlets -- formerly the Belz Outlets -- which covers several blocks of real estate with various stores.)

The theater complex itself is dimly lit and filled with golden hues and old-movie-parlor touches, even though you can tell it's a very new building in every respect. Seats are comfortable (though have a shorter back than what I would prefer) and all theaters themselves are setup with stadium seating, so you don't have to contend much with people blocking your view. Picture and sound quality are pretty good, and usually matinees are not very crowded (unless it's the opening weekend of a major release). It's also a good place to while away a few hours if you're in the area and don't feel like shopping but your friends, out-of-town visitors or guests do.

The bathrooms, upon first impression, seem pretty classy -- though that impression is ruined upon closer inspection.

At first, they are classy looking, with beige tile covering the lower wall, a wavy, textured off-white tile covering the upper wall and an ornately carved bronze-like tile forming a mid-wall divider between the two. A large-squared contrasting off-white tile covers the floor.

It's a large environment, long and stretching but not too narrow, and well-spaced. About eight or so urinals hang along the left wall (if facing the back wall), and a stretch of four or so toilet stalls stand opposite them in the far corner of the place. Brown metal dividers separate the stalls but the urinals have no privacy barriers between them, which leaves you a bit open to peepers if you're standing at them and someone comes in.

There is a multi-station vanity, with a bland brick-colored granite counter and some white porcelain embedded sinks, in the front right of the room. Three automatic hand dryers hang on the wall opposite the vanity. The vanity itself is nothing special, the same sort of setup as I've seen (most recently) at places like Animal Kingdom (at the bathrooms near the Flame Tree Restaurant, for example) and (on a smaller scale) Whole Foods Winter Park. This one has manual faucets and soap pumps though.

Spend a little time at the vanity and that classy first impression starts to waver. While I didn't find it waterlogged (perhaps because I attended the first screening of the day on my visit and seemed to be one of the first to enter the facility), I did find that one of the soap dispensers had become unglued from the stretch mirror behind the vanity and was laying dead on the counter, alongside bits of plastic that had broken off in the fall. Certainly this needs to be fixed.

The toilet stalls were clean, but the walls of the stall I entered were speckled with bits of goo, which I can only assume are boogers flicked on the wall from a previous visitor. Pretty gross.

If that weren't enough, the latches to the stall door I found myself behind was pretty greasy on the edges, as if years of finger grease has accumulated on it from people sliding it back and forth so many times.

These little things, I'm sorry to say, made the experience less than savory and made me hurry with my business, for fear of what other items the cleaning crew had overlooked might appear here.

Marks out of 10:

6. Would be an 8 if it were not for the greasy latch, felled soup dispenser and boogers on the wall.

Comments to the Management:

The soap dispenser is an easy fix -- just mount it right and move on. But the greasy latch and boogers make me think that your cleaning crew just focuses on the main target items (toilets, vanity, floor) and not the rest of the place. Time to do a head-to-toe scrubbing of the place.

China Town Restaurant's Bathroom Starting to Show Its Age (Extremely Dusty Exhaust Fan Doesn't Help Either)

China Town Restaurant
1103 North Mills Ave
Orlando, FL USA
ctseafood.com

Where is it?

Go through the main entrance to the restaurant -- not the seafood market, which is attached to the same building but is off to the side.

Once inside, you'll see a cashier counter and an entrance to the kitchen to your immediate left, the dining room opening up straight ahead before you, and a short corridor to your immediate right. Down that hallway, that's where the bathrooms are.

What's it like?

This is one of Orlando's better Chinese restaurants, which ranks up there in my opinion with Ming Bistro and Mr. K's for offering some of the best Chinese grub in town.

In many ways, the menu here is like a mixture of those two places: You can get the more authentic/traditional stuff like Ming Bistro (fried innards, casseroles with salted fish, etc.) here as well as more standard American-Chinese dishes (beef and broccoli, pork lo mien, etc.) that fills much of Mr. K's menu. In addition, you can get some wonderful Chinese BBQ and some of the best seafood in town -- thanks to the market next door.

As a bonus, if you want, you can get go to the market, select fish and shellfish you'd like to eat, and have the kitchen in the restaurant prepare it fresh for you. (Similar to how you might pick out a specimen from the water tanks at Ming Bistro, only this has a much wider selection.)

The interior is a bit odd shaped, with the main dining room set in a sort of atrium -- high ceilings, round walls. The dining room is a bit darker than you'd expect it to be, considering how many windows are there, but it's still elegant and old-fashioned. (Having said that, the decor and furniture have aged a bit over the years and look like they may need some renovating in the coming year or two just to keep things sharp.)

Service is professional but also a touch cold at times as a result but never rude or unaccommodating. Prices are reasonable; portions could be a little larger (especially compared with what you get at those other places mentioned) but not by much. Definitely worth a stop if you're in the area.

The bathrooms are a bit below the par set by other Asian restaurants visited over the years, including the aforementioned Ming Bistro and Pho 88. It doesn't reach the same toilet-based heights of Mr. K's either, I'm afraid.

It's a one-bagger, with a standard toilet and urinal against the far wall and a basic sink station in the upper right corner, with a mirror hanging overhead. The floors are covered in black tile, the lower walls in white tile and the upper walls in white drywall. The walls contain a few Chinese-inspired/based paintings on the walls but nothing too creative -- this isn't Oishi Ultimate Japanese Cuisine, that's for sure.

Most of the items here are clean, and the place is odor free, though like the dining room the bathroom is starting to its age. This is primarily true of the toilets, where the water stains are starting to take over the basins (the urinal was flushed, for example, but I didn't realize that at first, only after inspecting it further). Sealant is scumming up and mildewing a little. Not extensively, mind you -- proof enough that the place is cleaned well regularly -- but enough to hint that it may be time to renovate the place a little. Perhaps do it when you update the dining room some -- two birds with one stone?

Other than that, there are two oddities here: First, the exhaust fan overhead is both very loud and covered with dust (the low-end camera used to take the picture shown here couldn't pick up all the detail, I'm afraid) -- so much so that you get a little unnerved at the site of it, lingering above you. (Haven't been this afraid of dusty in a bathroom since my stop at the horrendous Southwest Indian Traders in Colorado.

Secondly, at the sink, the sensor for the automatic faucet (the only automatic feature in the facility) is turned away from the natural spot of detection. Instead of aiming the sensor to look for hands beneath the faucet, it's turned so that the sensor is looking to the left side of the sink basin. That means to get the water flowing one hand much be under the faucet, to be washed, while the other has to be off to the side. (Makes me think the person who designed the sinks for J. Alexander's Orlando has a say in the setup here.)

Also, hurts that the faucet doesn't really give out much water -- kind of a heavy trickle than actual water flow.

Marks out of 10:

5. Could be a 6 if the place were a little less dingy and the dusty exhaust fan were cleaned and the faucet sensor were aimed properly.

Comments to the Management:

Some renovation, to update fixtures and such, might be a good idea in the near future. If not, then scrub the place well as it needs some refinement. Make sure to dust the exhaust fan grate, as it's pretty gross right now, and turn that sink sensor around so it will actually detect hands where hands should go -- and maybe get a new spigot that allows for better water flow.

Cozy Neighborhood Joint Basil Offers Cozy Bathroom With Some Odd Inclusions

Basil Ristorante & Pizzeria Italiano
920 US 1
Sebastian, FL USA

Where is it?

This is a small, narrow, rectangular dining room that seats maybe 15 or so tables at most. Guests enter from the far right of the dining room (with your back to the door); the kitchen and waiter stations are opposite the entrance, along the back wall, with the proper dining room opening to the left and extending the length of the place.

To get to the bathroom, turn left from the entrance and head through the dining room to the far back wall. Once there, turn right and slip into the short hallway located just beyond the back right of the dining room. The toilets are both there, as is a supply closet and the restaurant's air conditioning system.

What's it like?

This is cozy, humble little neighborhood Italian eatery serves some delicious, well-portioned and well-priced food that's a cut or two above the standard pizza joint fare or what you'll find at Olive Garden. It isn't a flashy place: Small, reliable and friendly, with a small staff that's from Italy and family based.

The menu houses a number of familiar items, from eggplant and chicken Parmesan to various pasta dishes to pizzas and calzones to Mediterranean-inspired fish, poultry and meat dishes. I've been here a few times and each time has been very good. The sauces here are particularly noteworthy, as they incorporate a touch of peppery heat to them that you don't expect. In most cases, places like these dwell on sweeter tomato sauces; here, they offer something more nuanced and textured, which I liked.

Service is attentive and down to earth -- you get the impression, once you step through the doors, that this is a place with many regulars. And for good reason. A pleasant stop worth making if you're in the neighborhood and in the middle for decent Italian.

The bathrooms are pretty straightforward affairs here. One-baggers that are simple and non-flashy, like the rest of the place. Dimly lit, with faux brick red tile on the floor and white drywall walls, white porcelain toilet, white porcelain sink.

The walls are pretty bare, except for two framed maps (those old-looking topographic ones you see everywhere), one of Italy and one of the world. Essentially, the bathroom is about the same as what you'll find at the nearby Long Point Cafe, only that one is all white and better lit (and has a Billy the Bass talking fish on the wall).

Decor-wise, I don't mind the simplicity of the place, but I wouldn't have minded either if the designers had gotten a little more creative with things. Not necessarily to the extent of what was seen at NYPD Pizza in Orlando, but perhaps something approaching the homeyness of the Burr Trail Grill in Utah. It would certainly suit the place well, I think.

Cleanliness-wise, the place was spot on, though at the same time it's showing its age in places -- areas are looking a bit dingy in spots, like the sink and the corners. Nothing drastic though. It was clean and odor free.

However, it did have a couple of oddities.

For one, the sound of the air conditioning unit down the hall created quite a rumble inside here when it was on. Good for privacy, but also it made me think at first that I was relieving myself while an earthquake was starting up.

Secondly, I found a bunch of loose tissues placed above the paper towel dispenser. Was a box of tissues not available? I hope the managers realize this is a bit creepy, as I doubt anyone will use the items because they are placed there loosely.

Thirdly, the paper towel holder is set remarkably high on the wall next to the toilet. About two feet up from the handicap assistance bar, making it a bit of a reach for people who are height-challenged, if you will.

Not the worst place I've ever seen such items placed before (the worst would be the third-floor bathroom at Bloomingdale's in Orlando) but you'd think it would be a little easier to reach, considering the circumstances behind it.

Marks out of 10:

6. Cozy, standard one-bagger, but its oddities drop it down from the standard 7 score.

Comments to the Management:

Not sure you can do much about the rumble produced by the air conditioning unit, as it is where it is and this Florida; not even sure if piped in music will help, because it would have to be pretty loud to drown out the hum, and in that case it might disturb your diners. As for the rest: You can always move the TP holder down a little if you choose, and the loose tissues can be easily discarded -- just leave a box up there in the future.

Unpleasant Barnes and Noble Bathroom More Like Dingy Dorm Room Than Classy Bookstore Facility

Barnes and Noble
Waterford Lakes Town Center
481 N Alafaya Trl
Orlando, FL USA
www.barnesandnoble.com

Where is it?

This store has kind of a fat "L" shape to it, with the main entrance to the back apex of the letter's shape. Once inside, you'll see the bargain books and kid's area to the far left, the fiction and music area to the far right and, behind a sea of shelves housing self-help and other thematically tied books, the pre-requisite cafe.

Go to the cafe, which is in the front apex of the "L"-shaped floor plan, and while facing it veer to the right of it. Once there, you'll see a hallway leading behind the cafe some -- the bathrooms are there.

What's it like?

This is a sad affair in terms of a book store. Sure, this location of the popular book store chain has the set-up and familiar design, including wall after all of shelves, a kiddie play area, a music and video area and a cafe, but everything feels somewhat ramshackle inside, as if planners had decided to throw everything and anything that's relevant to a bookstore into the place and hope for the best.

It's a crammed store, from the cashier area that's literally jammed with impulse-buy displays to the aisles of books, which are placed so closely together you feel like you're privacy is being invaded if someone else is in the same row as you. It's not a pleasant environment to be in. It's disorganized and filled with anxiety -- I have trouble relaxing here.

I also have trouble finding the books I want. I came in looking for a copy of Aravind Adiga's novel "The White Tiger," which I assumed would be easy to find because it'd just won the Booker Prize a few weeks earlier and was on U.S. best seller lists. I searched and searched for it but came up empty. Then I asked a clerk, thinking I was just being obtuse and it was in an easy to locate spot, but but the clerk I spoke to had never heard of it and after looking it up in the computer, she said, "Yes, we have a few copies," and then proceeded to take me down the "A" aisle for fiction, which had the book stored under the author's first name instead of his last. So it goes.

But having said that, the interior here pretty indicative of the neighborhood it's in. Orlando's Waterford Lakes region is a cluster of poorly designed traffic ways, impatient people and similar-looking storefronts, half of which are struggling to stay in business and half of which seem to not care if they stay in business or not (like this store, I'm sorry to say). If it didn't have the best Thai restaurant in Orlando, I would not bother coming to this area at all.

The bathroom here is just as disappointing as the rest of the place -- and the shopping area around it. In most cases, bookstore bathrooms are safe havens: Typically clean, quiet, civil. This place is anything but. While it is quiet, it's a smelly mess filled with water and paper, unflushed toilets and mildew-covered sinks. In many ways, coming here is like walking into a dorm room -- the people who should be cleaning it just don't seem to care enough to go through with the job and as such do their job half-assed.

The set-up is pretty standard (almost identical to what was found at Conservation Station in Disney's Animal Kingdom, only this is a tad roomier and it lacks the animal noises heard on the soundtrack to that location): A two-sink station at the front, followed by two urinals (set deep within long stall walls) and then two toilet stalls, the very back one being the handicap stall. A gray and white checkerboard tile pattern covers the floor, white tile covers the walls, except in the back toilet stall where you'll find white drywall.

The vanity is your standard Formica counter top, with bland white sinks and manual faucets and soap dispensers. An automatic air dryer is mounted just off the vanity so you can dry your hands. A ring of noticeable mildew surrounded the sealant lines of the faucets and sinks themselves -- pretty gross.

The urinals are nothing special, as are the toilets: Standard white porcelain models, nothing more. Both have manual flushes, and as such I found both the urinals and toilets in unflushed states. The floor was covered in mis-thrown and discarded paper towels, and the sinks were drenched in water.

Worse still is the stench in the place: Easily the worst-smelling place I've stepped in since visiting that horrid CVS Pharmacy on HWY 80 in Savannah, GA. Not quite as bad as that but still pretty awful; it takes a while for you to get used to it, if you do at all, that is.

Bathrooms in such locations should at the very least be manageable and reliable -- like what was seen at Rainforest Coffee Cafe, Huffkins in Witney, England, or Starbucks, (or to a greater degree, Bongo Java). Instead, we get something approaching horrific. Shameful, I hate to say it.

Marks out of 10:

3. Almost a 4, but the stench was so powerfully awful.....

Comments to the Management:

Need to patrol this place pretty regularly to keep it clean, not just at the end of the day. Also, increase ventilation and add some air fresheners. Automatic flushing systems would ensure no one has to walk in on someone else's leftovers. Use a stronger cleanser to remove all the mildew from around the sink. Bottom line: Make the place comfortable for your customers.