Outhouse #5: Zion's Main Entrance Toilets Almost As Dark and Smelly As Park's Other Facilities

Zion National Park
Main Entrance Toilets
Springdale, UT USA
http://www.nps.gov/zion/

Where is it?

Drive up to the main visitor's center, park, and make your way to the central information building and gift shop.

Along the way, you'll see signs for the toilet -- not the ones inside the visitor center but the building set up amid the outdoor displays and such.

Follow those signs as best you can -- there are many distractions and people around you to divert your path, and the signs on the main path are only partially accurate, as they sometimes tell you to turn left and head into buildings that really aren't the bathrooms.

Either way, eventually after walking in circles some, you'll come across a large wooden building that looks like a stately rangers lodge. That's the toilet -- discernible only by the small man and woman icons found on the main approach and doors. (Clearly, this is a situation where you'd want to have the icons be enormous, like what's done at IKEA Orlando -- something to think about when renovation time comes around.)

What's it like?

On the outside, this place looks stately, classy and old fashioned -- like an upscale log cabin sort of complex, and it instantly reminded me of the Wayne M. Densch Discovery Center toilet at the Central Florida Zoo.

But the similarities end once you step inside. Really, this has more in common with the toilets at the trail head to the Temple of Sinewava area of the park than anything else.

These are dark, cavernous bathrooms, lit mostly by natural lighting via the skylights built beside the main beams in the rafters. Because of the placement of the skylights, the light beaming in has too many angles and corners to contend with before it reaches the common area, and as a result the place is filled with more shadows than it should have, even on a sunny day -- especially daunting in the toilet stalls, believe it or not.

The cave-like feeling extends to the whole place really, which is surprising, considering the size of the place. (It's the most cave-like bathroom I've been in since my stop in Pulkovo International Airport in St. Petersburg, Russia.)

This is a large bathroom, and the setup here is similar to the ones found at the toilets at the Ft. Drum and Port St. Lucie rest stops on the Florida Turnpike. Wooden on the outside but mostly concrete (painted of course) on the inside. You walk in and then choose to go either to the left side or the right side, with both wings housing a similar assembly of offerings -- in this case, it's three toilet stalls along the center wall (the wings are mirrors of each other based off that center wall), three urinals along the outside wall, and a three-sink vanity area to the side of the urinal row.

What interesting is that the toilets, urinals and sinks are all automatic and sensor-driven (the soap pumps on the vanity are not) but there is no semblance of an environmentally friendly toilet system in place -- like what you'd find at IKEA Orlando, Nona Sushi and Whole Foods South Orlando. As a result, the place (with its natural lighting and concrete construction) feels somewhat cheap in construction. Not as bad as, say, Babys R Us, but still cheaper than it should be. Why spend the money on some things but not close the deal, you know?

The toilets, urinals and sinks are all white porcelain. The vanity is similar in setup to its brother at the Kolob Canyon Visitors Center, except this is black in color and that's red and this has three sinks instead of two (which that one has).

The air here is dank and quite ripe with the smell of urine -- just like its cousin near the trail head to the Temple of Sinewava area of the park. Though that one does smell a little worse, if you were to compare them side by side.

This one is a little cleaner, too, but not by much. Though the toilets were automatic, I found a couple with waste still in them, and there was a good deal of spilled water on the vanity and floor.

It's also a noisy place, considering the traffic and the many open areas (screens along the top, by the skylights), making it a surprisingly non-peaceful place to make a pit stop. Lots of echo here, due to the cave-like design. Go figure.

Note: The left half of the bathroom was quieter than the right on my visit and seems to have done less service that day, so I'd opt for that if the choice were presented to me.

Marks out of 10:

5. Further in the park, you expect things to get a little shoddy, but not in the well-traveled and well-manned main entrance, where most of your traffic comes through.

Comments to the Management:

I would insert some regular lighting in the place -- if you're using electric flush systems, I don't see this as being much more of an add on. And perhaps add a fan or two into the mix, just to trump up the ventilation factor -- I know it's an outhouse and should smell a little but not this bad. Really. If you're only going to spend part of the cash you have on amenities, at least make them count.

Kolob Canyons Visitors Center Toilets: Not Quite an Outhouse, But Not Far Off Either

Kolob Canyons Visitors Center
3752 E Kolob Canyon Rd
New Harmony, UT‎ USA
utah.com/nationalparks/zion.htm

Where is it?

Just to the left of the main entrance to the visitor's center (don't go in). Since this is a pretty small building, the bathrooms are pretty easy to find.

What's it like?

Kolob Canyons make up the upper section of Zion National Park. To get there, you have to travel about 40 miles north of the main Zion exit on Interstate 15, at which you'll see an exit leading you to the entrance of this part of the park. From there, you pay for admission at the aforementioned visitors center and then drive 5 miles into the mountains to see the canyons from an overlook area.

This section of the park offers far less user-friendly options than Zion proper, mind you, unless you're a hiker (there are dozens of hiking paths here that take you deep into the back country). However, it's also far less crowded (our Zion portion of the trip put us in the middle of many thick crowds, while here there were maybe about five cars' worth of people at most) and the amount of quiet you experience is astonishing.

Plus, the views of the mountains, valleys and plateaus are breathtaking, primarily since your vantage point is much higher than in Zion proper, which positions you on the canyon floor looking up. Definitely worth the trip if you can make it -- as said, a paved road takes you from the entrance to an observation area in the middle of the mountain range. From there, you have several hiking options, which range from moderate to hard in terms of difficulty.

While there is an outhouse at the observation area (review coming next week), people are still encouraged to use the one at the visitors center, since it has running water and heat and a few other modern conveniences (like electric light).

Though outside of that, the bathroom itself isn't too far removed from its outhouse brethren. It's very plainly designed, with painted concrete walls and a red-brick tile floor that's reminiscent (albeit cleaner) than the similar-looking floor at Fresh Market Orlando, among other places.

It's a pretty large space too, considering the limited options available to you -- quite a contrast to such recent stops at the World Famous Coffee Cup Cafe, which pack in too much for the space allotted.

Here, you'll find one urinal, one large vanity area with two sinks, and one toilet stall -- with a whole lot of common area in the middle of it. (And I don't mean to infer that this place has a basketball court for a common area, but it's still pretty large -- maybe 10 feet by five feet, which feels too big for the fact that it's essentially a one-bagger masking itself as a two-bagger.

Given that space, it's funny to see that the urinal is pressed up pretty close to the vanity area (why not put it somewhere else, where there's more room?), with only a flimsy off-white metal divider separating it from the vanity counter.

The stall (with a divider made of the same flimsy off-white metal as the urinal divider) is at the far end of the place, and it's a roomy stall indeed -- long and wide enough to take up about one fourth of the bathroom area in all. (Not monstrously wide, but still it feels bigger -- and definitely longer -- than it needs to be.)

The vanity isn't much to look at: A pale red particle-board counter housing two while porcelain sink basins. Single-knob faucets (the old-fashioned ones with those twisty knobs on them) sit atop them, with a cheap stretch mirror hanging behind the vanity and a plastic soap dispenser glued to the middle of the mirror. To the far left is a hand drier (no towels here) -- a chrome one with a weathered-looking finish (clearly, it's seen better days).

Dim fluorescent lighting illuminates the place, along with the help of some natural light that peers in through the windows in the back corner, at the top of the toilet stall. The place is somewhat drafty, as expected given the vast amount of space here and the high altitude in which it's located. (I have a feeling the place is closed in the winter -- if not, expect a very chilly visit!)

The room is pretty clean on the whole, though there's a good deal of wear and tear to be found: The walls are chipped in spots, as is the floor and vanity, and there are some water stains here and there on the porcelain.

Though overall it's fine and functional. The air is a bit dank and tinged with urine -- with a smell similar to the one experienced at the Little Pee Dee State Farmer's Market, only without the hints of chemical in the air.

Still, if you're on the highway and in need of a stop, this place is easy to find and ready and waiting. You could do worse, especially considering the limited options available to you in this part of the country.

Marks out of 10:

6. Functional and clean, but that's about it. Not terrible, but it's still about as close to an outhouse as I've ever seen a regular bathroom be, really.

Comments to the Management:

I realize you don't get a lot of visitors, but I think a new coat of paint and some general touching up will do wonders here, as would adding a heater and putting up a few posters of the mountains around you for some local color.

Funky, Homespun Beach Decor and Colorful Graffiti Can't Mask Wear and Tear at Coffee Cup's Toilets

World Famous Coffee Cup
512 Nevada Way
Boulder City, NV USA
www.worldfamouscoffeecup.com

Where is it?

A bit tricky to find. From the main entrance, pass through the dining room and towards the back wall of the place, keeping the dining counter/bar on your left.

Once at the back wall, avoid the temptation of passing through the swinging stainless steel door leading to the kitchen and hang a left, passing behind the dining counter and through a little hallway in the back there, which leads to the the rear of the establishment's secondary dining area.

Once through the hallway entrance, take an immediate right and head down a second, longer hallway, which leads to the very back of the place. At the end, look for the words "Banos" painted on the wall, along with an arrow pointing to the left.

Go left, then wrap around a sharp corner and you'll come face to face with the toilets.

What's it like?

This funky little diner was introduced to me via the Food Network show, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives -- which I don't necessarily find to be a great show but it is certainly harmless and it features enough greasy food to make your mouth salivate and actually want to visit such a place if the opportunity arose.

Well, my opportunity to visit such a place came on this western excursion, as a drive from Vegas to the Hoover Dam one morning passed us through Boulder City and the chance to eat breakfast at this self-proclaimed "world famous" locale.

Not really sure what makes it "world famous," though it was pleasant enough for a diner. While it's locked in a comfortable, sub-division-packed town on the shores of the ever-evaporating Lake Powell (about 30 minutes from Vegas proper), the vibe here is decidedly California surfer. The walls are covered with surfer decor, from boards to boating and water skiing photos to paintings of swim trunks (like the ones found on the door to the men's room).

More than anything, the decor of the place reminded me of Hurricane Wings in Orlando -- another land-locked establishment with a heavy beach-goer vibe. Granted, that place has its origins in the seaside town of Ft. Pierce. This place, I'm not so sure about. I guess there's a lot of sea-faring escapades done on Lake Mead, and even Lake Powell, which is about five hours further away by car, but other than that I didn't see much that was actually sea-faring here. Perhaps it's just a hobby of the owners?

Regardless, the decor is funky and homey enough to enjoy a decent breakfast in. And that's what we did.

We ordered omelets, and while one of my party found the Cali Omelet to be a bit bland (it had tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, green peppers, olives and onions in it but needed a bit of extra zing, he thought), my Pork Chili Verde Omelet was top notch -- meaty, spicy and enjoyable stick to your ribs fare.

With a name like the "Coffee Cup," you'd think the coffee would be out of this world, however (and I admit I'm a coffee snob) I didn't think the coffee here was anything out of the ordinary -- standard Maxwell House-style cup. Just wanted to mention that as well.

Service was friendly, as were the people sitting alongside us. It's very obviously a locals place and on early mornings, before work, and on Sundays, I can see the place being packed with all sorts of characters. I guess that's what drew the attention of the TV show, though honestly I never understand why one diner is better than another as long as the food's good. This one's certainly a major step up food-wise from others I've visited, like Steak 'n' Shake Winter Park and the atrocious Waffle House in Walterboro, SC, but as neighborhood joints go I'm not sure I'd take this one over such favorites of mine, like the Town House Restaurant in Oviedo (on which I would say this one, in terms of food, is on similar ground).

Though as with all neighborhood eateries and diners, that's always debatable, depending on where you live and what you like. For pork chili verde omelets, the Coffee Cup certainly takes top score.

However, when it comes down to bathrooms, I have to give the edge to the Town House Restaurant, my diner favorite back in Florida. Bottom line: While far from perfect, that place's toilets are cleaner and better put together.

The Cup's bathrooms are somewhat worn down, and I think that's part of their charm but it's also to their detriment. The lazy, beach-going vibe seems to have been the creative force behind this place's lack of upkeep and -- no doubt -- purposefully shoddy assembly.

The floor is covered with small white tiles and dark black grout -- almost similar to what was seen at Theo's Kitchen, only not as scary. (I think Theo's has better food, by the way, though this place has a better bathroom -- see how this is all relative and debatable?)

The walls are covered with a number of substances. Beige tile, much of it looking like it's about to fall off the wall because of the age of the grout, hangs behind the urinal and vanity. Painted blue particle board is found along the back walls, and what seems to be white-painted cork board makes up some of the side walls. Makeshift, this is -- though it still feels better put together than the bathroom we experienced a while back at Babys R Us.

Of course, given the lazy beach-going vibe here and the mass quantities of wood walls, you'll also find plenty of graffiti here as well. And believe me the walls are covered with it.

Some of the more noteworthy examples include the statement "Live Free or Die" written just below the toilet seat cover dispenser in the one stall found here. Why it was written there? I'm not sure, though in some light I guess you could say the statement offers some encouragement to those who need a little help expelling their pork chili verde omelet.

Also, a picture of a propeller plan with a banner reading "Eat at the Cup!" can be found on a the upper door to that stall (inside it, that is) -- clearly to give people some inspiration about trying the pork chili verde omelet after expelling what was already in their gut beforehand.

And I really liked the flaming mounting drawings that started inside the stall and extended onto the back wall, through the stall opening (when the door was opened). Very creative (and I guess it clearly shows how I spent my time while in here, no?) and a pleasing nice unified vision, if you will.

The room itself is small and packs in a lot of elements -- meaning too much -- for the space alotted. Not as tight as Club Quarters Philadelphia or at Petro Palace lobby or the SkyBar in St. Petersburg, Russia, but really, this is a one-bagger that's been jammed with items and because of that it really beckons a simpler layout or full conversion to a one-bagger. If more than two people were in here at the same time, it could get sticky moving around, and forget about privacy.

More than anything, the setup reminded me of the multi-person toilets at the Copper Rocket in Maitland, which are longer than this but pack in the utilities only in the very back of the place, making everyone who enters pool in the back and such. Both are equally uncomfortable in that respect.

Worse still is that the a lot of the items here seem to be falling apart or coming loose from the walls. The divider between the sink and urinal, for example, waves back and forth freely if you move it some -- that's how loose it is. (Makes the hole in the wall at the Venetian lobby toilet look like a minor blemish, really.) The toilet stall walls are in a similar state of disrepair, though they seem a bit more sturdy.

The urinal and vanity are kind of wedged together in the front of the bathroom, with the corners of the room pressing in around them some. The commodes and urinal are your standard white porcelain models, all in various states of wear and tear. The vanity itself isn't much more than a cheap cabinet and white porcelain sink set on the floor -- cheap and functional, nothing more, like something you'd find at a flea market, install and forget about (reminiscent of the vanity at Country Ham 'n' Eggs, only without the fake wood walls and Grandma's house feel).

There was also a bit of urine stink in the air, though nothing as bad as some other places I've been to (I'm looking at you, horrid CVS Pharmacy bathroom in Savannah, GA -- pew!).

A funky place, yes, though also a bit frightening from a bathroom perspective. Would return for the chili verde omelet, though.

Marks out of 10:

6. Really a 5, but the funky graffiti and the pork chili verde omelet raise the score some.

Comments to the Management:

Lots to be updated here, if you think about it. Decor-wise, you're doing great. But the tile needs replacement, the barriers need to be better secured, some of the fixtures need replacement and the smell needs to be freshened. Ultimately, the place would probably work best as a one-bagger. If you can do that, and still keep the homespun surfer decor, then you've really accomplished something.

Toilets at Small Virgin River Casino in Mesquite Almost on Par with Vegas Brethren

The Virgin River Hotel, Casino & Bingo
100 Pioneer Blvd.
Mesquite, NV USA
www.virginriver.com

Where is it?

From the main casino entrance, head into the building and towards the buffet, following the signs to get there as the layout is a big confusing and you may get lost otherwise.

Once you reach the buffet entrance, turn around, keeping the buffet entrance to your back, and look across and slightly to the left of the slot machine area in front of you. At about the 10 or 11 o'clock position, you'll see a sign hanging from the ceiling, reading "Restrooms."

What's it like?

This casino and hotel is located in the ever-growing Mesquite, NV, which was just a two casino town when I first passed through it some years ago and is now a decently sized small community with a feel that's both homey, new and Vegas-like.

This casino is definitely smaller than what you'd find on the famous Strip, and it's not quite as flashy or filled with attention getting signs and sights, but in all honesty it's not that far from those places either. There are high-end shows here -- Kenny Rogers was coming soon, I believe -- and both a decent buffet and a few other eateries inside, and the casino itself has that same odd-patterned carpet on the floor, the same confusing floor plan, the same decorative molding on the walls and the same array of loud noises from slots and people playing table games. Only difference is that it's more affordable and smaller in scale, which for many -- myself included -- isn't a bad thing.

The bathrooms follow that concept and in many ways they are on par -- at least design-wise -- with what we saw at the Venetian lobby. I was actually expecting much worse from here and was pleasantly surprised by what I was.

This is a wide room that packs in lots of features. The back wall houses about five or six toilet stalls. The front wall feature a five-station vanity and, to the right of that, along a diagonal far wall are four or five urinals. That doesn't leave much room for maneuvering in a full house but it could be worse. The urinals and toilets are both white porcelain models, but because the rest of the room is made up of dark colors, they form a pleasant contrast to the eye (similar to what's done at Sensi, for example, only not as extreme and zen-like). Off-white marble tile covers the floors, a wavy blue-and-grey-patterned marble tile covers the walls.

Most impressive here are the stall doors and urinal dividers, which are made of heavy-grain dark wood which is stained elegantly and features simply yet noble carving designs on them.

Just as impressive is the vanity, which is made up of a marble counter with in-laid porcelain sinks. Standard chrome faucets and soap dispensers are fixed atop the sinks themselves. A dark-wood-framed multi-panel mirror stretches over the back of the vanity.

On the whole, it's much more than what you'd expect from a place this far removed from the Strip. For that, and for the extra steps taken to make the place seem elegant, regal and comfortable, I give it pretty high marks.

Unfortunately, there was a strong odor of urine here and some of the dividers and stalls needed a touch of repair around the hinges, which were starting to look loose instead of strong. Of course, as with the Venetian toilets, these weren't outright noticeable issues; they were only discernible upon closer inspection. Otherwise, the place was pretty clean and looked well-kept.

Marks out of 10:

8. Almost a 9, were it not for the smell and the bits of disrepair.

Comments to the Management:

It's no Wynn, but other than that, it's pretty close, if not on par with a Strip-based casino bathroom. For that you should be commended. Just eliminate the smell and tidy up the loose ends and you'll have a true contender here.

Big Surprise: Toilets at Paris Hotel and Casino Cleaner Than Most Actual Parisian Toilets

Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino
3655 Las Vegas Blvd South
Las Vegas, NV USA
www.parislasvegas.com

Where is it?

This casino is large, though it's not nearly as large as some of the other mammoth complexes on the Strip, like the Venetian, Wynn and Caesar's Palace, to name a few. As such, getting to the bathroom from the main entrance here doesn't take nearly as long as it would at those other places.

In fact, here you just step inside, walk past the table games of the casino and head south (to the right) towards the hotel's buffet. Once past the casino, look for the "Théâtre des Arts" (or Theater of the Arts, where the Anthony Cools hypnotist show is playing). Once you find the theater, head past the ticket office to the hallway just beyond it. Go down that hallway and you'll find the restrooms.

What's it like?

As with many other Vegas bathrooms, the ones here evoke the theme of their host casino -- except whereas the Venetian and Caesar's Palace toilets stopped short of fully wowing visitors with their thematic decor, the one here goes that extra mile in bringing the thematic vision into reality.

This place has art nouveau written all over it, best seen in the elegant white tile work on the walls, which proves instantly reminiscent of the tile you'll find in the Paris Metro stations, and the intricately designed sinks, which look like they were stripped directly from the imagination of Antonio Gaudi.

Other art nouveau highlights include the dark wood stall tools at the front of the toilet stalls and the overall cavernous feel of the place, which may just be the truest mimicry of what actual mass-market Parisian toilets are like. (Notice that I say "mass market," not "all," because I've been to some wonderful toilets inside Parisian cafes.)

Except, of course, that this place is about 10 times as clean as those mass market toilets. And it has a shoe shine guy at the entrance, as a sort of impulse buy when you're leaving. (He was busy when I passed, so certainly the tactic is working.)

The setup, as stated, is cavernous. You enter and to your immediate left are the sink stations and vanities. These sinks are beautiful -- pedestal sinks that have chic blues, whites and greens worked into their porcelain design. And with automatic soap and water faucets built into them -- which sounds like it would look awkward but somehow just works fine.

Decorative tile work lines the walls behind the sink pedestals -- white tile with highlight lines of blue patterned tile separating each sink area. Gold-framed personalized mirrors hang above each sink.

Further in, you'll find a urinal chamber with about 15 units here, each white porcelain and in true European fashion they have no privacy barriers between them. Oddly enough, the baby changing station is at the very back of this area -- seems like it should go elsewhere.

The back wall is lined with toilet stalls, also about 10 to 15 in all. They have heavy wood doors with frosted glass before them, which kind of makes them feel like you're looking at individualized train compartment doors (or doors to bordello rooms?) -- something I liked. Tiled walls form the sides of the stalls, and both the walls and door go to the floor, offering maximum privacy. The toilets are white porcelain and nothing remarkable, however.

Of course, this is a busy bathroom -- especially when the nearby show lets out -- and the tile work also serves to accentuate the noise factor some, so it's not necessarily the quietest place to make a pit stop.

But the spot is clean and avoids the heavy urine stink that tends to fill most of the mass-market Parisian bathrooms I've been in (I'm looking at you, Museum l'Orangie). But if you can look past that, the wonderful decor will more than make up for those misgivings.

Marks out of 10:

9. Almost a 10, were it not for the noise factor -- the Wynn, our current Vegas leader, manages to cover up the noise in its wonderful toilet, so why not here?

Comments to the Management:

Hard to make the place quieter since it's a very busy toilet, so I'm not sure what else to recommend here outside of moving that baby changing station elsewhere. Otherwise, keep up the great work -- you've got an excellent toilet here.