Best and Worst Toilets of 2008

2008 proved to be a landmark year for Where’s the Toilet?

We managed to review more than 150 bathrooms around the world, including some in some faraway and exotic locations as Russia, Singapore, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Australia and more, and also visited toilets in some famous settings, like the Grand Canyon, the Hermitage Museum, Universal Studios Orlando and Grand Central Station, to name a few. Sadly, despite many requests, we were unable to review the toilet in the Minneapolis airport where Sen. Larry Craig was charged with “disorderly conduct.” Maybe next year...

Now that the year is over, we’ve chosen to post our second annual Best and Worst Toilets of the Year list.

So without further delay....

The Top 5

1. Mansion at Forsyth Park (Savannah, GA)

Easily the best of the year -- nothing else came close, and this was the best restroom we visited since our stop at the Wynn Las Vegas bathrooms (which topped our Best Toilets of 2007 list). As we said in our review of the Mansion, this is "a regal, marble-filled environment filled with amazing architectural frills, top-notch cleanliness and peaceful feelings."

2. Barrier Island Sanctuary Management & Education Center (Melbourne Beach, FL)

The best environmentally conscious (or "green") bathroom we visited this year, with a relaxing beach theme woven into the experience. "This bathroom has a lot of ambition and wants to be both stylish and environmentally friendly, and it pulls it off," we said in our review, "putting other high-profile locations to shame, really."

3. Pan Pacific Hotel (Singapore)

Quality is the name of the game at this luxurious stopping point, which features such high-end flourishes as walnut and veneer toilet stall doors and granite walls. "I could spend plenty of time in this place any time," we said in our review. "I look forward to my next visit."

4. Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino (Las Vegas, NV)

We visited plenty of Las Vegas bathrooms this year, and while none matched the jaw-dropping wonder of the Wynn Las Vegas bathrooms, this one, with its art nouveau decor and European feel, came closest.

5. Islands of Adventure at Universal Orlando (Lost Continent Toilets) (Orlando, FL)

The best theme park bathroom we experienced this year. Clean, quiet and practically kid-free -- the fact that it's somewhat tucked away from the park's major attractions certainly helps the quality factor, we thought.

Honorable Mentions:

Pearl Restaurant (Vero Beach, FL) -- A small one-bagger located in a homey restaurant on Florida's Atlantic coast. It takes the elegance of Vegas and brings it down to the everyday level, but doesn't lose the "wow" factor in doing so.

Bicester Outlet Shopping Village (Bicester, UK) -- The best UK bathroom we visited this year. Wood walls, Gilchrist and Soames hand soap, floor-to-ceiling toilet stall doors -- why couldn't the rest of the UK toilets we experienced have been this comfortable?

The Bottom 5

1. Southwest Indian Traders (Cortez, CO)

Not so much a bathroom but a collection of shoddy parts that have been put together without any care. The walls do nothing to protect you from the wind outside (and yes, the wind will catch you where the sun doesn't shine). The visible roof rafters above house dozens of cobwebs. And not all the plumbing works. As we said in our review, "Put an outhouse in the parking lot instead -- it would actually offer more comfort."

2. Kappy’s Submarine Sandwiches (Maitland, FL)

More the setting of a horror movie than a proper bathroom, this place features lights that grow dimmer the longer you stay and a used ketchup bottle containing watery, ineffective hand soap. "This is the stuff of nightmares," we said in our review.

3. Oxford Railway Station (Oxford, England)

The worst English toilet we experienced this year -- and there were some doozies! While it seems clean on the surface, the smell inside was overpowering and nearly every toilet was filled with excrement. Worse still, an attendant stood by the whole time, doing nothing. "Just a disgusting experience," we said in our review. "I wanted to shower after leaving."

4. CVS Pharmacy, HWY 80 (Savannah, GA)

The worst-smelling bathroom we visited all year -- with a smell so foul that you start smelling it from down the hall. A popular store like this should know better.

5. Uncle Bubba’s Oyster House (Savannah, GA)

Part of Paula Deen's restaurant empire and where the Southern food queen films her Paula's Party show. The place specializes in seafood you eat with your hands, like peel-and-eat shrimp and oysters, but the bathroom doesn't have soap to clean your hands with, or towels -- just Purell and a hand drier that doesn't work. As you can imagine, the fish odor here is pretty extreme.

Honorable Mentions:

Homebase (Oxford, England) -- A home repair store where almost everything in the bathroom is out of order and covered in filth. Word to the wise: Don't touch anything!

Waffle House (Walterboro, SC) -- A notch below the typical Waffle House bathroom, with plenty of grime-covered utilities and a not-so-heavenly aroma of trash and mildew in the air.

Luxury and Charm Abounds at Lady and Sons

The Lady and Sons
102 W Congress St
Savannah, GA USA 31401
www.ladyandsons.com

Where is it?

This restaurant contains three dining rooms, one on each floor, along with a gift shop. Each floor, and the gift shop, has its own bathroom. Most people enter through the gift shop and then wait there for their names to be called, after which they are led to a table on one of the three dining rooms.

The gift shop bathrooms are located across from the cashiers there. The others are a bit harder to find, but it seems most are set in the center of the building, near or around the elevator shaft, and off a hallway leading to the kitchen. As long as you're near the elevator shaft or in the center of the building, you should be able to find the bathrooms with some relative ease. There are signs as well leading the way, so it's not that hard. Still, this is a bustling place so expect plenty of distractions along the way.

What's it like?

The last time I visited this southern food mecca, I found myself unimpressed with the heaps of fried foods offered here. They were decent, don't get me wrong, but nothing special -- nothing that got me craving southern food in any way. Walking into the place this time, and after having such a horrible experience at Uncle Bubba's Oyster House (the restaurant's sister property) the day before, I was expecting the worst from this place.

But I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. The food here was clean, freshly prepared and flavorful -- and perhaps for the first time in my life I tasted the heavenly possibilities of properly fried chicken. Yes, it was that incredible! (I even mistakenly picked up some fried white meat -- which I normally pass over because it can be bland -- and was astonished by its moistness and complexity of flavor. Wow!)

Of course, before continuing, let me say that the Lady and Sons is set in a remodeled warehouse just a few blocks from the Savannah River, in the historic center of town. It's a very popular place -- mostly because tourists flock to it because of Deen's celebrity status. The etiquette here is that reservations are not allowed: You arrive at 11am to put your name on a list for lunch (or at 5pm for dinner) and then are given a time to come back and claim your table. Unless you've been waiting there a while or rudely muscle to the front of the sign-up line, you're often told you will have to wait two to three hours for your table. If you're starving hungry, this of course will cause a problem. If not, then I suggest strolling around the area some -- there are countless shops, attractions and whatnot in the immediate vicinity to occupy you time. Hopping on one of the historic trolley tours is a great option, as it easily kill a few hours -- just keep an eye on the time so you won't miss your table calling. If you do, you're table will be given to the next person on that list.

Once inside, you're taken to the aforementioned gift shop, where you can peruse the many Paula Deen-branded items available or hit the bathroom. Soon after, you'll name is called and you're led to the elevators and told which floor to get off. Once off, a second greeter meets you and takes you to your table. The dining rooms here are spacious but also crammed, thanks mostly to the many tables stuffed into the restaurant. The decor mixes southern charm with warehouse barrenness, so it feels like you're inside a warehouse that also just happens to be a country kitchen. It doesn't sound like it should work, but it does.

Once at your table, you can either order off a menu or hit the buffet. Most people head for the latter, since it's the most affordable option and lets you taste more food. (The a la carte items tend to be a bit pricey as well, though -- so I saw from the people ordering them -- they also seemed to be well-sized.

I opted for the buffet, where I found succulent versions of baked chicken, baked fish, fried chicken, smothered steak and several sides, like mashed potatoes, green been casserole, sage stuffing, lima beans, collard greens and more. As said earlier, everything was wonderfully fresh and flavorful -- and surprisingly complex in its spicing, given that it's southern food and meant to be pretty bare bones. It was so good, really, that stuffed as I was, I felt impelled to return to the buffet line for more. Especially when our waiter Reggie came around to say that fresh fried chicken had just been placed on the buffet. Bless you, Reggie.

The biggest surprise here, however, was that my experience was so much better than the last time I visited, and that Uncle Bubba's was so awful this time over the last. Perhaps there is a conspiracy afoot here?

Anyway, onto the bathrooms: I visited two of the four toilets found here: The ones on the top floor (where we ate), and the ones on the ground floor (which we passed on the way out). I was about to head into the gift shop ones while we were there, but they called our names too quickly for me to get a look, so I had to give that one a miss.

The top floor ones were the larger of the two. It had one spacious stall with a nifty green wooden stall door around it, one urinal an done sink station. The bottom floor one was a "one bagger,"also spacious. Both toilets had an old-fashioned saloon look to them, with small mosaic-like while tiles covering the floor, green wood on the walls and dark marble counters and vanities. Also several turn-of-the-century photos covered the walls, extending the old-fashioned vibe.

The toilets and urinals are white porcelain but also angular, which gives them a sense of elegance, especially when contrasted against the green walls and white floors. Sinks and soap dispensers were automatic, though both the first and third floor bathrooms soap dispensers were not working properly and pump bottles had been placed alongside the sink as a backup. There were no towels here either, but in their place were high-efficiency hand blowers, which jetted out air with considerable force.

The only fault I found with either toilet was that each was located in busy stretches, and as a result you hear -- and sometimes even feel (especially if someone bumped into the walls) -- the passing traffic a lot while inside. This is especially true of the bottom floor toilet, which is positioned right next to the opening to the dish room -- or so it seemed -- and made me feel like someone was always trying to get in while I was there. They were also a little unkempt from the day's use (our seating was at the end of the lunch shift) but outside of that these were clean and comfortable -- which is more than I can say about Uncle Bubba's.

Marks out of 10:

8. A little worn down from the shift, but clean and comfortable -- and a hundred times better than Uncle Bubba's.

Comments to the Management:

Not too much to improve upon here -- so maybe this store should communicate better with Uncle Bubba's, because that place needs some serious help.

Soho South Cafe Toilets Offer Plenty of Artsy and Fartsy Qualities

Soho South Cafe
12 West Liberty Street
Savannah, GA USA
www.sohosouthcafe.com

Where is it?

There are two bathrooms to be found here, both of which are a bit tricky to find because the place splits itself into both a cafe and art store.

The first is in the dining room. From the main entrance on Liberty St., head inside and approach the maitre d' station. While facing the station, look to your right and you will see some doors along the side wall with a divider wall in front of them. These are the dining room bathrooms, one for each sex.

For the art store bathrooms, walk in from the entrance on Liberty but don't approach the maitre d' station. Instead, turn right into the store, which will be on your right (about 10 feet inside, after entering), and walk to the back right corner of the place. The bathroom is a one-bagger for both sexes.

These second toilets are the ones reviewed below. I didn't visit the dining room ones because the line to them was too long.

What's it like?

This warehouse-like restaurant works two angles: It serves up semi-trendy bistro fare (including a slew of upscale sandwiches and soups, which were delicious and well-priced) while showing off original artwork by Savannah's bustling arts community.

All the art here is on sale, and this is a great place to visit with an artist, like I did with local artist Grant Nelson, because it seems every artist here has some connection to the place, whether it's an exhibition they once held or a kindred spirit they met here. As a result, the atmosphere is decidedly bohemian and art spills from all angles, making a visit both eye-opening and inviting.

Given that, the interior is a bit chaotic as well, and while that makes it a great spot to take a date, I'm not sure if it would be my top pick for a quiet one-on-one conversation with someone. Then again, this somewhat chaotic design is purposeful in order to increase the level of energy emitted by this place, which the restaurant exudes in spades, so really I can't fault it for that.

The gift shop attached to it, which sells a lot of the art found in the rest of the place, extends the design conceit, with art flowing around you from every possible angles. The store provides a great way to finish your meal and perhaps take home one or more of the items that caught your eye while dining.

Likewise, the bathrooms also work the art motif quite heavily, and as a result they make a strong first impression. The walls are made either of red bricks with rustic mortar work or are painted bold colors to serve as accent walls. The floor is a dark slab of linoleum over concrete. The toilet and sink are the standard white porcelain variety. A wrought iron stand sits beside the toilet and sink, holding many spare rolls of toilet paper, and some makeshift wooden pieces serve to hold other bathroom-related items, like air freshener and such.

Also, of course, the walls come covered with paintings, including funny bits of folk art and homemade novelty signs, among others. Certainly this is not a boring toilet.

On the flip side, there was some lingering smells here from the previous user, along with some serious bits of disrepair, including a door lock that looked like it's been hacked at several times with a knife or saw and lots of peeling paint, especially around the sink. Not sure if that is part of the design here, to make it look like the actual bathroom of a struggling artist, but it sure extended the idea to me -- and not in an entirely appealing way either.

Also worth noting: The noise level was a bit high, no doubt the result of the number of people in the gift shop, many of which seemed to be waiting for me to finish my go around and use the toilets themselves. Not much of a gap between you and the public, I guess, or is that the point? Now I'm confused.

Marks out of 10:

7. Like a more artsy version of Polk's Fresh Market, only a little more worn down and less smelly and homey-feeling. But then, it's also more genuinely artsy than chain-restaurant artsy-fartsy places like Cafe Tu Tu Tango and World Beat Cafe, so for that I commend it.

Comments to the Management:

A little more ventilation could be added to reduce the stink from previous users -- if Michael Mina in Las Vegas can do it, so can you. Also, how about touching up some of that paint to make the place look a bit less ragged -- unless of course I'm missing the point and that's the intention here.

Amway Arena Bathroom Really Just a Cave with Lots of Urinals

Amway Arena
600 W Amelia St
Orlando, FL USA
www.orlandovenues.net

Where is it?

This bathroom reviewed here is located near the entrance to the seats in sections 103-104 and 203-204.

So to get there, find that area via the signs pointing to them, look across the hall from them -- you'll see a large tiled divider wall (almost monolithic in size, really). Go behind that wall and you'll come across the bathrooms.

What's it like?

Orlando's main arena, home to the Orlando Magic and big concert draws, this large stadium seats around 17,000 for most basketball games and concerts. It's a pleasant enough place to enjoy such an event, though the echoes and acoustics can be a bit of a strain -- as much sound seems to get stuck in its many upper corners.

Like most arenas, it has a number of attractions, from various gift stalls selling T-shirts and other wares, to an assortment of food vendors, offering an array of fast food and such. Seats are of the plastic fold-down variety -- not too comfortable, but not as bad as other venues I've been to.

The bathrooms here are enormous, multi-person and cavernous. In fact, walking in one it really looks just like a being in a cave -- only this cave is lined with urinals along its perimeter.

And it's not as dank as the cave-like bathroom at at Pulkovo International Airport in St. Petersburg, Russia, but that's only because it's much larger than that. Still, this is very much a cave and nothing else.

Essentially, the facilities here consist of one long room. A barrage of sinks (all white porcelain, with single mirrors over them) covering both sides of the walls greets you once you step inside. Beyond that is a long single room that has dozens of urinals fixed to its left and back wall and a long row of toilet stalls along the right wall.

The urinals have no dividers between them, and black metal makes up the stall divider walls. Various posters of upcoming events hang above the urinals -- which is better than nothing, I guess. The upper walls are covered in beige tile, the lower walls with a drab gray tile. That same colored gray tile (albeit smaller) covers the floors, which is also dotted with small black tiles for highlights -- similar to what was seen at Theo's Kitchen, only on a much larger scale.

What's amusing here is that a lot of the fixtures are dated. The sink faucets, for example, are the old-fashioned turn-on variety you used to see predominantly several years back. I haven't seen faucets this antiquated since visiting the Delta Crown Room in the JFK International terminal.

Also, this is the only place I've ever seen advertisement stickers placed around the piping of the toilets -- a very strange place to place an ad, I think, since you can never really see the entire ad. So far, I've seen business cards and fliers placed in the bathroom (like at that horrid CVS Pharmacy in Savannah, GA) and I've seen printed pieces of paper taped to specific areas of the bathroom (like at the scary Goyan Gip Korean Restaurant), but I never have seen stickers wrapped around piping. First time for everything, I guess.

That aside, the place was pretty clean as a whole -- though I visited during the opening minutes of a basketball game, so few had made their way to the bathroom by then. I've made other visits while attending other events and the bathroom was far messier then. For this one, I found some trash on the floor, some spilled water and pee and some foul odors in the air, but nothing too horrible. (It's been worse on subsequent visits.)

Still, outside of the sheer size of this cave, there isn't much that's memorable here. Utilitarian at best, and best experienced early on in the game than later as it gets pretty crowded during halftime and on the way out.

Marks out of 10:

6. Really a 5, but that one visit, where I was the only person in there, really added to the experience.

Comments to the Management:

Update the fixtures and keep it cleaner when the place is being swamped -- both things I'm sure you already know, though.

Though Not Perfect, Toilets at DeSoto Hilton Are a Saving Grace

Hilton Savannah DeSoto
15 East Liberty Street
Savannah, GA USA 31401
wwww.hilton.com

Where is it?

Not too tricky to find, once you get into the hotel. That latter task, however, is a bit difficult. From the street, head up on the sidewalk, then up to an elevated sidewalk, and walk under the hotel's awning. Once there, keep walking to the back of the large roundabout found there, and look for a second awning on the back left of the area -- this time over a pair of swishing doors. (Note: There is another opening for a bank to the right, and it looks suspiciously like an entrance to the hotel. Don't go in there, it's a bank!)

Once inside, walk in, keeping the concierge and front desk to your left. About halfway down the lobby, you'll see the bathrooms on your right.

What's it like?

For hotel lobby bathrooms, there are very good, though nothing exceptional. However, the fact that we found them when we were in dire need (and I'm talking total hold your breath and waddle EMERGENCY!!!!) -- and that we got no trouble in the process -- gives it a special spot in my heart. Thank you, DeSoto Hilton, thank you -- because of you, I avoided surefire embarrassment. You're a hero in my book.

See, we were in Savannah for a weekend and walking around the town, heading to a ghost tour. Naturally, it being a ghost tour (we did with Sixth Sense Savannah Ghost Tours, which were fair but at times kind of overdone as well, www.sixthsensesavannah.com -- and the experience was made worse by the fact that it's a walking tour and a member of our group had some serious gas issues, which he wasn't shy in sharing), it takes place in some desolate areas, and the meeting place we were told to start the tour was in a pretty sketchy spot to begin with. Thus, when the urge to hit the bathroom came, we were literally up a creek (and you know what type of creek) and didn't know what to do. Everything around us was closed, except the 7-11 in cracktown, and that certainly wasn't an option.

So we started rushing back to our hotel, scrambling and trying to keep our wits about us. After a few blocks, we found this woman dressed like a Rockette in a Santa suit on the side of the road. Now, normally when we see a woman like this on the side of the road, we just avoid her, because we're not really into that sort of stuff. But this time, we couldn't afford a delay.

We asked her where the nearest bathroom was -- and she thought and thought and thought. It was brutal, waiting for that answer. And then finally she let out with it -- DeSoto Hilton! "Take a left at the next intersection and it's right there!"

Bless her! Bless her! Bless her! And bless the Desoto Hilton!!!! Bless you both!

We rushed there and just made it, and the fact that it was clean and receptive made it all the more impressive.

It's a long bathroom, with three stalls and three urinals set across one another. A vanity is set at the front, when you walk in. Marble tile covers the floors and most of the walls -- other areas are covered with clean white tile. The vanity is made of a solid slab of marble. The sinks also have wonderful smelling soap and ornate faucets with fancy trim. It's a decent bathroom.

Of course, it also has some faults -- the worst of which is that the toilets sit very low to the ground -- like less than a foot. So when you sit down, you immediately fall, which is somewhat unexpected, especially when you're in dire straights. It's also especially hard to get up from the toilet after relieving yourself (you know how your legs just kind of go, right?).

Also, I found this strange brown paper object behind the commode -- no idea what it is, and it's been bugging me. (If anyone has any ideas, feel free to comment.) I poked at it with my shoe and it didn't move. It wasn't squishy though. Very perplexing. And frightening!

And finally, the third stall (which I headed to first) was empty but looked like it'd just been used -- and the toilet was stuffed with you know what and the seat liner was just sitting there..... very gross. Other than that, the place was spotless and smelled great, thanks to a floral air freshener.

On the plus side, when you leave you can read a plaque in the roundabout stating that you've just pooped on a spot that carries some importance to American history. The hotel was a site where the US army placed barracks and other military fortifications against the Brits during the Revolutionary War -- which I find ironic, because after my visit I also left some barracks and fortifications there. HAH!

Marks out of 10:

9. Really a 7, but it was such a saving grace that I had to lift the score. Thank you, DeSoto Hilton, thank you!

Comments to the Management:

So perhaps they don't patrol as often as they should, and perhaps there are unidentifiable brown things on the floor -- who cares? THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR US, DESOTO HILTON. Next time I'm in Savannah, I'm definitely staying with you! If things turn badly, I might never leave!

Historic Pink House Dim But Cozy

Olde Pink House and Planters Tavern
23 Abercorn Street
Savannah, GA USA

Where is it?

The restaurant's bathrooms are on the second floor but because the elevator wasn't working and the stairs were shared by both the wait staff (carrying large trays of food) and customers, I opted to hit the bathrooms in the Planters Tavern, which is in the basement of the building. There are stairs heading that way from the dining room, but the easiest way to get there is to go outside, decend the stairs to the tavern's entrance, and walk across the tavern (keeping on the same side as the entrance) and into a dim, wooden hallway there. The bathrooms are down that hallway.

What's it like?

This establishment was built in 1771 and, according to the plaque outside signaling it as one of America's historic landmarks, over the years it's been a military headquarters, a private home, a bank, a tea room and more. Today, it's a decidedly old-fashion restaurant and tavern, decorated in dim lights (and often candlelight) and heavy wooden furniture and filled with creaky wooden floors and antique portraits on the walls. Think American Victorian, and you get the idea.

The menu here is filled with gourmet takes on low country classics: A fabulous scored flounder covered lightly in apricot sauce; a succulent rack of lamb served with seasonal, locally grown vegetables; expertly prepared side dishes like Hoppin' John (rice and black eyed peas, essentially), sauteed grits cakes and more. It's elegant, sophisticated and somewhat reasonably priced, considering its a the gourmet meal (expect to pay about $40 per person). Definitely worth the splurge.

The tavern downstairs is dark and decidedly colonial. The walls here are made of deep, dark wood, and only a few dimly set lights and a lone, welcoming fireplace illuminate the interior. The tavern serves the same menu as the dining room, only in a more intimate, casual setting. The bar is just a bar -- no specialty brews or anything -- and drink prices are a bit high but the ambiance is so inviting it doesn't matter. It's one of those places you feel honored to have a drink in. Next time I visit, I hope to have dinner in the tavern as well.

Or course, while the dining room and tavern are very colonial, the bathrooms have a strange nautical feel to them. They are dark, like the dining room and tavern, but they are also elongated, narrow and small, like the bathrooms found on a boat. (Not as thin as Cafe Tu Tu Tango in Orlando, mind you, but still pretty thin.) The men's room is a long, thin rectangle, with the toilet on one end, the sink on the other, and an empty stretch of about six to eight feet in between. The walls are brown wood here, like the rest of the tavern, and the only decor is a picture of George Washington, which hangs over the toilet. Also noticeable are the mass amounts of supplies found here -- on my visit, the toilet was literally covered with spare toilet paper rolls, and the sink had many fresh paper towels sitting atop it. Clearly, they are expecting the worse here.

The facilities were clean, though a bit worn down from the day, which I guess was expected since we had a late seating upstairs. They are also somewhat removed from the tavern area, and though the tavern isn't exactly boisterous, it can get a bit noisy, and as a result the toilets do offer some solace to the visitor.

Marks out of 10:

8. Essentially a 7, but the colonial decor and feel are so impressive I had to raise the score a notch.

Comments to the Management:

It wouldn't hurt if these toilets were a bit wider, but that might involve a serious renovation, which would take away from the place's charm, so what can I say? And I would suggest placing a storage cabinet in the bathroom somewhere -- but where? Even a small, narrow cabinet would blog access to half the bathroom.

Toilets at Savannah's Molly MacPherson's Scottish Pub as Cozy and Comfortable as the Rest of the Place

Molly MacPherson's Scottish Pub & Grill
311 West Congress Street
Savannah, GA USA
www.macphersonspub.com

Where is it?

The place has a familiar British pub setup, with distinct areas for the bar, dining area and games (darts, etc.).

To find the bathrooms from the entrance, walk to the rear of the establishment, keeping the bar on your left and the dining area on your right. When you near the back wall, you'll see a small hallway open on your right. Go down there to find the toilets. The men's room is labeled "Lads," the women's "Lassies."

What's it like?

This friendly tavern, located across the street from Savannah's popular City Market, boasts one of the best Scotch selections I've seen in an American pub and an impressive assortment of bottled beers. The pub grub is also pretty top-notch, featuring plenty of well-prepared standards and some more modern alternatives (ahi tuna, pasta primavera, etc.). The staff is friendly and the atmosphere down-to-earth and boisterous enough to keep the place humming but not chaotic.

The decor is that of a classic pub -- warm colors, lots of wood, low lighting. Conversations tend to bounce off the walls here in a way that adds a sense of activity and liveliness to the place but doesn't rule out quieter discussions either. It's a warm place and a fun, affordable spot to grab a drink or meal after walking around the historic district sites for an afternoon.

The toilets are equally cozy -- small one-bagger WCs with dark-colored walls and plenty of beer and liquor signs on the walls. Warm surroundings and somewhat removed from the main action of the dining room and bar to offer you a sense of privacy. Not totally, mind you, but enough.

Unfortunately, when the bar is busy, that hallway leading to the bathrooms often fills up with people waiting to use the loos, and in that case the noise factor can be a problem and make you feel more hurried than you'd like. In situations like these, I suggest holding it in (if you can) until the line dissipates. (I noticed it comes and goes in waves here.)

On the plus side, it's a clean environment. So clean in fact that I found a bottle of Clorox spray cleaner waiting to be used on the sink when I walked in. (Naturally, this immediately reminded me of lonesome bottle of Windex I found waiting on the vanity at Super Orient Buffet in Orlando -- only here, it looks like the Clorox does more than just sit on the counter like an ornament. That buffet wasn't exactly the cleanest of places to visit.) The toilet and sink were standard white porcelain but well kept and spotless, as was the rest of the place.

If I have to complain about anything (other than the on-again-off-again noise factor), it would be that the decor is a little predictable. Granted, it's a pub, and you want your pub toilets to be pub-like, but at the same time the place could take it to another step, like what the Pig n Whistle does, particularly in the way it uses that familiar decor items to create an offbeat, kitschy setting for the visitor. Then again, looking at the other pub toilets reviewed on this site, many of which hold low ratings, perhaps asking for more isn't the best idea at the moment, but here it felt like the place could actually try to take things to the next level but in the end chose to play it safe.

Also worth mentioning was the funny label atop the toilet tank, asking people to hold the handle while flushing. Perhaps the items weren't in tip top shape after all, eh?

Marks out of 10:

7. Almost an 8, were it not for that on-again-off-again noise factor.

Comments to the Management:

Putting the Clorox bottle away would be a good step (even if it's just on the floor beneath the sink). Also, consider what I said about adding a little more imagination to the decor.

Seen One Sam's Club Toilet, Seen Them All

Sam's Club
7701 East Colonial Drive
Orlando, FL USA
www.samsclub.com

Where is it?

Enter the building through the main entrance, take an immediate right, and then walk along the front wall, past the front displays and the snack counter, to the back corner there. The toilets will be about 100 feet past the snack counter.

What's it like?

This is our second visit to a Sam's Club bathroom (the first being the Sam's Club in Melbourne, FL) and really I can't see much difference between the two I've visited, feature-wise or design-wise, outside of the fact that this one is a bit smaller than the Melbourne location. An ironic twist, really, since this warehouse store is actually bigger in size than the store in Melbourne. Why that is, I can't even begin to speculate.

Anyway, like that location, this is a boxy environment with gray tiles on the floor and off-white tile on the walls. Both were a little scruffy and worn down but nothing too impossible to deal with.

There are three toilet stalls here, with the back one being the handicapped one. The toilets are white porcelain, each a little lower to the ground than what I would have liked (not as low as the DeSoto Hilton toilets in Savannah, GA, but not too far off). They have automatic flushes, gray dividers that match the floor tiles and Teutonic plastic toilet paper holders.

For the most part, they were clean, though there was some detectable grunge on the grout and some dribbled water on the floor around them. Everything was in working order in the stalls, except the middle stall, whose automatic flush wasn't in operation, as indicated by the sign above the toilet reading, "MANUAL FLUSH USE HANDLE!"

Opposite the stalls is a large vanity area with a 10-foot-plus stretch mirror (no frame) fixed to the wall and a plastic trough-like sink (same style as what we saw in the Melbourne location) which has sensor-driven faucets set above a number of pull-outs in the trough (you stick your hand under and three weak streams of water hit your hand). The sink trough, like the toilets, was also a bit lower than I would have liked it to be.

No automatic soap dispensers and instead atop the sink are various pumps of hand soap (again, like the Melbourne location). Though, it should be noted that there is a proper soap dispenser fixed to the wall to the right of the sink, but it was empty and looked like it hadn't been used in ages.

A steel towel dispenser and two hand dryers hang on the wall to the left of the sink area, as does a baby-changing station. To the right of the sink are two urinals, one low and one high, with a gray divider in between. There was a sign in front of the urinals for a wet floor -- I'm thinking there's some leaking issues (both from the pipes and the people visiting it) there.

Like the Melbourne location, the place is Teutonic and cold, but it's also functional. But unlike the Melbourne location, this one isn't put together with the same solidness. As mentioned earlier, the place feels worn down and pieced together a bit cheaply (not as bad as the Babys R Us toilets we recently visited, but not far off).

The place had a slight smell of urine, but nothing terrible. One question I had with it though was the wired plug I found below the handicap stall sink. Why was it there? What did it connect to? I have no idea. I just seemed weird, seeing it there, and I wondered how many sparks would fly if/when that sink overflowed with water.

Marks out of 10:

5. Same features as the Sam's Club we visited in Melbourne, FL, but it's smaller, not as clean and very worn down.

Comments to the Management:

Place needs a good sprucing up, as well as some updating. Time to really polish those tiles, get the toilets in working order, fix the leaks and put some water pressure behind those automatic sinks. Also, couldn't hurt to hide the wiring below the sink in the handicap stall -- just looks dangerous, hanging out there like that.