Big Suprise (not really) -- Conservation Station Bathroom at Animal Kingdom Filled with Animal Noises

Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park
Conservation Station Bathroom
660 W. Savannah Circle
Lake Buena Vista, FL USA
disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/animal-kingdom/

Where is it?

Once in the park, head to the Africa area, where you will board a train to the attraction called Raifiki's Planet Watch. It's about a 5-10 minute ride.

After arriving, walk from the train station to Conservation Station, the main building of the complex. This will take another 10 minutes or so; you will have to walk along a curving, sidewalk-paved, canvas-covered path filled with various environmental exhibits to get there.

At the end of the path, you'll see the building to Conservation Station -- really, it's the only building there (around it are fences containing various animal petting stations (as in a petting zoo). The main entrance has a multi-tiered mural of animals over the door.

Enter the building. The lobby, as you'll see, is filled with more artwork of animals, many of them hiding in a painted (literally) jungle. To enter the attraction, head to the left of the mural; for the bathrooms, head to the right.

What's it like?

Conservation Station offers visitors a chance to step behind the scenes (to an extent, at least) at Animal Kingdom. At it, you can see where the park's animals sleep at night and where vets take care of sick animals and such, among other things. The building also houses a number of animal-related and environmentally friendly exhibits, several of which focus on man's impact on the natural world.

None of the information here is new or mind-blowingly original, but the fact that you can see various animals being taken care of, and get up close and personal with the insect world (via some slightly queasy exhibits -- put your hand on a sticky tree spider web, for example), makes it worth a visit. Also, this is the least Disney-fied area of the park and after a day spent in line at roller coasters and makeshift safaris and the like, this place feels downright refreshing.

The bathroom itself is a small chamber, with two toilet stalls in the back, two urinals in the middle and a two-sink vanity area up front. (If I didn't know any better, I'd say Noah designed the place.)

Decor-wise, it feels like a cross between some of the bathrooms visited at Universal Studios (like a less ornate version of the Lost Continent toilets, if you will) and the toilets at the Barrier Island Sanctuary Management & Education Center, only with a greater (albeit slightly less successful) tropical inflection (if that's possible).

The floors are beige with blue diamond highlights along the perimeter. The lower walls are white tiled with aqua tile highlights along the midsection. The upper walls are turquoise.

In the stalls, you'll find single sculpted accent tiles set above the commodes. Ones I saw included images of pandas and gorillas. Also in the stalls are small informational plaques that share some unique tidbits about the excretory functions of animals. One of note that I found entertaining was a plaque titled, "The Scoop on Poop." These plaques are cleverly placed on the back of the stall door, so you can read them while you're doing your business. A nice touch.

Another nice touch is the soundtrack heard over the P.A. On it, you'll hear a number of animals shrieking, roaring, chirping and such. It's a bit distracting at first (and a bit loud -- as if tailored for kids, so they won't ignore the sounds at all), but while you're doing your business (and believe me, a day of theme park food can lead to such interruptions), you'll be thankful for the noises, as they cover up your own well.

I wish I could say the same for the odors found in the place, which were quite rank -- especially the urine stench. I also found that none of the toilets or urinals I crossed had been flushed prior to my arrival. These are all on autoflush, so I'm thinking the sensors need to be checked out and tweaked some.

Also, the vanity was somewhat waterlogged -- about on par with what was experienced at the Lotus Blossom Cafe bathroom in Disney's EPCOT theme park. Clearly, there needs to be greater policing of this environment, to ensure cleanliness and cleanly air. Hard to do, since this is a busy place and the only spot to do your business in this end of the park (and the fact that you have to walk 10 minutes to get here, after taking a 10 minute train ride, makes the toilet all the more important to visitors). Something to consider.

Marks out of 10:

7. I liked the tile work, informational panels and animal sounds (to an extent) but but couldn't overlook the sloppiness of the place.

Comments to the Management:

Maybe turn down the animal noises on the P.A. a little -- kids love them, I imagine, but adults may find them annoying after a while. Also, the place could use some more regular cleaning, especially some regular mopping around the vanity, to keep things fresh smelling and dry. Finally, double check those autoflush sensors as they may not be working to the best of their ability.

Restroom at Flame Tree Restaurant in Animal Kingdom is Wonderful, But Watch Out for the Birds On the Way Over

Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park
Conservation Station Bathroom
660 W. Savannah Circle
Lake Buena Vista, FL USA
disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/animal-kingdom/

Where is it?

From the order counter, cross the main walkway in front of you and enter the restaurant's outdoor seating area, located across the way. Go through the sea of tables and gazebos there, walking all the while to the part of the dining room that's furthest away from the counter. (There are well-placed signs set up, leading you to the bathrooms, so it's not hard to find.)

Eventually you will veer around the back of a building and to the left, where you will see a bunch of Asian/Aztec-like ruins surrounding the entrance to the bathroom.

What's it like?

The smells of barbecue suckered me into this place.

Located in between the Dinoland U.S.A. area of Animal Kingdom and the Tree of Life, the park's central attraction, Flame Tree Grill is just a typical fast food counter-service dining spot serving barbecue, chicken and a small assortment of sandwiches.

But the park seems to pipe in the smell of BBQ into the area around the restaurant (or maybe the kitchen had fans coming out of it and pointed in our direction), making it all but impossible for anyone walking by to not think about sinking his or her teeth into some succulent BBQ.

Needless to say, I was one of its suckers. After a few hours of schlepping around the park, I found myself starving and the smells of the BBQ from this place seemed more like a beacon of joy than anything else when I passed. I gave in, ordered up a plate of ribs and chicken and took them to the outdoor seating area across the way, where I tucked in and -- ironically enough -- had to fend off a slew of birds (including ducks, gulls and a few other species) while eating. Apparently, the birds get fed so often by fellow diners that they are comfortable enough to come up to your table and snatch the food right from your plate. Talk about adventure! (And more on those birds later.....)

Anyway, what's annoying is that the BBQ isn't all that great. Not terrible (the chicken that came with the meal was pretty dry, the ribs okay, but the sauces were decent, especially their fruitier, less-spicy variety) but not nearly as good as what you think you'll be getting when you first smell it cooking from down the way. Perhaps it's because it's hard to eat it warm while you're finding a seat in the place's overcrowded dining area, or perhaps its because it's hard to eat when you're surrounded by birds. (I'll opt for the Texas-style 'cue at Cecil's next time.)

As you can imagine, after a heavy meal of BBQ and fixin's, you'll need to make some room in your gut -- especially if you plan on visiting the rest of the park (or going on any of its rides, many of which are very bumpy).

Thankfully, the restroom here is one of the best theme park bathrooms I've been to - quite a surprise, considering how crowded it is. It's right on par with the wonder toilets at the Lost Continent area of Universal Studios Islands of Adventure.

This is a large facility, on par in size with the Lost Continent toilets or the United Kingdom Pavilion bathroom at Disney's EPCOT theme park. It's a roomy, rectangular space, with a row of about a dozen urinals on the left side, followed by a string of about eight toilet stalls that wrap around the back wall of the place (with the handicap stalls being on the back wall). On the left wall is a row of wash stations, as well as a baby-changing area. All the toilets, sinks and urinals have automatic flushes or faucets, but the soap dispensers are the standard side-of-the-basin variety.

The decor is very Indian (from Indian, not "Native American), with lots of turquoise, green and purple tiles on the floor and walls, as well as some basic mosaic patterns strewn about. Very playful (not as playful as the bathroom in Conservation Station, mind you, but this place is going for a different feel entirely so it's probably not right to compare the two) and inviting. A few traces of urine singed the air (which I found to be a little more comforting than having the aroma of BBQ wafting through the vents here, for some reason) but outside of that it was pretty clean here. Quite a feat, considering that it's pretty heavily visited and I'm sure I'm not the only one who had to run here in haste after eating Flame Tree Grill's BBQ ribs and chicken combo plate. A top notch theme park bathroom.

The only bad point is the trip there. Not only do you have to contend with the dozens of other people heading in the same direction but you also have to watch out for all the birds, both on the ground and in the air. At peak times, I can see this place being similar to a birdie bomb range, if you catch my drift.

Marks out of 10:

8. Almost a 9, were it not for the many birds I had to contend with on my way to the toilet here.

Comments to the Management:

Great job keeping the bathroom here in shape and clean. It's a wonderful experience once I'm inside, but outside there has to be a way to contend with the birds. A trip to the bathroom should not be there adventurous, both in terms of getting there and being there.

After receiving your food from the order counter, follow the signs to the outdoor seating area located across from the kitchen proper. Walk through the tables,

Unpleasant Barnes and Noble Bathroom More Like Dingy Dorm Room Than Classy Bookstore Facility

Barnes and Noble
Waterford Lakes Town Center
481 N Alafaya Trl
Orlando, FL USA
www.barnesandnoble.com

Where is it?

This store has kind of a fat "L" shape to it, with the main entrance to the back apex of the letter's shape. Once inside, you'll see the bargain books and kid's area to the far left, the fiction and music area to the far right and, behind a sea of shelves housing self-help and other thematically tied books, the pre-requisite cafe.

Go to the cafe, which is in the front apex of the "L"-shaped floor plan, and while facing it veer to the right of it. Once there, you'll see a hallway leading behind the cafe some -- the bathrooms are there.

What's it like?

This is a sad affair in terms of a book store. Sure, this location of the popular book store chain has the set-up and familiar design, including wall after all of shelves, a kiddie play area, a music and video area and a cafe, but everything feels somewhat ramshackle inside, as if planners had decided to throw everything and anything that's relevant to a bookstore into the place and hope for the best.

It's a crammed store, from the cashier area that's literally jammed with impulse-buy displays to the aisles of books, which are placed so closely together you feel like you're privacy is being invaded if someone else is in the same row as you. It's not a pleasant environment to be in. It's disorganized and filled with anxiety -- I have trouble relaxing here.

I also have trouble finding the books I want. I came in looking for a copy of Aravind Adiga's novel "The White Tiger," which I assumed would be easy to find because it'd just won the Booker Prize a few weeks earlier and was on U.S. best seller lists. I searched and searched for it but came up empty. Then I asked a clerk, thinking I was just being obtuse and it was in an easy to locate spot, but but the clerk I spoke to had never heard of it and after looking it up in the computer, she said, "Yes, we have a few copies," and then proceeded to take me down the "A" aisle for fiction, which had the book stored under the author's first name instead of his last. So it goes.

But having said that, the interior here pretty indicative of the neighborhood it's in. Orlando's Waterford Lakes region is a cluster of poorly designed traffic ways, impatient people and similar-looking storefronts, half of which are struggling to stay in business and half of which seem to not care if they stay in business or not (like this store, I'm sorry to say). If it didn't have the best Thai restaurant in Orlando, I would not bother coming to this area at all.

The bathroom here is just as disappointing as the rest of the place -- and the shopping area around it. In most cases, bookstore bathrooms are safe havens: Typically clean, quiet, civil. This place is anything but. While it is quiet, it's a smelly mess filled with water and paper, unflushed toilets and mildew-covered sinks. In many ways, coming here is like walking into a dorm room -- the people who should be cleaning it just don't seem to care enough to go through with the job and as such do their job half-assed.

The set-up is pretty standard (almost identical to what was found at Conservation Station in Disney's Animal Kingdom, only this is a tad roomier and it lacks the animal noises heard on the soundtrack to that location): A two-sink station at the front, followed by two urinals (set deep within long stall walls) and then two toilet stalls, the very back one being the handicap stall. A gray and white checkerboard tile pattern covers the floor, white tile covers the walls, except in the back toilet stall where you'll find white drywall.

The vanity is your standard Formica counter top, with bland white sinks and manual faucets and soap dispensers. An automatic air dryer is mounted just off the vanity so you can dry your hands. A ring of noticeable mildew surrounded the sealant lines of the faucets and sinks themselves -- pretty gross.

The urinals are nothing special, as are the toilets: Standard white porcelain models, nothing more. Both have manual flushes, and as such I found both the urinals and toilets in unflushed states. The floor was covered in mis-thrown and discarded paper towels, and the sinks were drenched in water.

Worse still is the stench in the place: Easily the worst-smelling place I've stepped in since visiting that horrid CVS Pharmacy on HWY 80 in Savannah, GA. Not quite as bad as that but still pretty awful; it takes a while for you to get used to it, if you do at all, that is.

Bathrooms in such locations should at the very least be manageable and reliable -- like what was seen at Rainforest Coffee Cafe, Huffkins in Witney, England, or Starbucks, (or to a greater degree, Bongo Java). Instead, we get something approaching horrific. Shameful, I hate to say it.

Marks out of 10:

3. Almost a 4, but the stench was so powerfully awful.....

Comments to the Management:

Need to patrol this place pretty regularly to keep it clean, not just at the end of the day. Also, increase ventilation and add some air fresheners. Automatic flushing systems would ensure no one has to walk in on someone else's leftovers. Use a stronger cleanser to remove all the mildew from around the sink. Bottom line: Make the place comfortable for your customers.

Boogers Found on Wall of Bathroom at Cinemark Festival Bay Movie Theater

Cinemark Festival Bay Mall
5150 International Drive
Orlando, FL USA
www.cinemark.com

Where is it?

There are several bathrooms located inside this movie theater. This one is located in the far right (eastbound?) wing of the theater itself.

To get there, enter through the lobby and, after handing your ticket to the usher, veer off to the right and down the main hallway there leading to the theaters in that end of the establishment.

As you go, you'll immediately pass the main concession stand on your left, as well as the entrances to one of the the theater's larger stadiums (there's another, similar one on the other end of the concession stand) then a small hallway leading to three or four smaller theaters (which will be on your right). Keep going straight, until you hit the back wall (you'll pass a smaller concession stand on your left as you walk, though this one is often closed), which itself places you dead center in another longer hallway, which has six or so theaters to each side.

Go left and you'll see the restroom sign hanging from the ceiling. Turn left when you reach the sign and go right for the men's room and left for the women's.

What's it like?

This is a decent, standard multiplex theater slapped at the very end of Orlando's International Drive, the city's primary non-Disney-based tourism strip. The theater itself is one of the cornerstone businesses in the Festival Bay Mall, which has several worthwhile stores and eateries (my favorite in the mall being Fuddruckers) but also houses a number of empty storefronts, which makes shopping there a touch on the unsettling side. (The mall itself is across the street from Texas de Brazil and Orlando's Prime Outlets -- formerly the Belz Outlets -- which covers several blocks of real estate with various stores.)

The theater complex itself is dimly lit and filled with golden hues and old-movie-parlor touches, even though you can tell it's a very new building in every respect. Seats are comfortable (though have a shorter back than what I would prefer) and all theaters themselves are setup with stadium seating, so you don't have to contend much with people blocking your view. Picture and sound quality are pretty good, and usually matinees are not very crowded (unless it's the opening weekend of a major release). It's also a good place to while away a few hours if you're in the area and don't feel like shopping but your friends, out-of-town visitors or guests do.

The bathrooms, upon first impression, seem pretty classy -- though that impression is ruined upon closer inspection.

At first, they are classy looking, with beige tile covering the lower wall, a wavy, textured off-white tile covering the upper wall and an ornately carved bronze-like tile forming a mid-wall divider between the two. A large-squared contrasting off-white tile covers the floor.

It's a large environment, long and stretching but not too narrow, and well-spaced. About eight or so urinals hang along the left wall (if facing the back wall), and a stretch of four or so toilet stalls stand opposite them in the far corner of the place. Brown metal dividers separate the stalls but the urinals have no privacy barriers between them, which leaves you a bit open to peepers if you're standing at them and someone comes in.

There is a multi-station vanity, with a bland brick-colored granite counter and some white porcelain embedded sinks, in the front right of the room. Three automatic hand dryers hang on the wall opposite the vanity. The vanity itself is nothing special, the same sort of setup as I've seen (most recently) at places like Animal Kingdom (at the bathrooms near the Flame Tree Restaurant, for example) and (on a smaller scale) Whole Foods Winter Park. This one has manual faucets and soap pumps though.

Spend a little time at the vanity and that classy first impression starts to waver. While I didn't find it waterlogged (perhaps because I attended the first screening of the day on my visit and seemed to be one of the first to enter the facility), I did find that one of the soap dispensers had become unglued from the stretch mirror behind the vanity and was laying dead on the counter, alongside bits of plastic that had broken off in the fall. Certainly this needs to be fixed.

The toilet stalls were clean, but the walls of the stall I entered were speckled with bits of goo, which I can only assume are boogers flicked on the wall from a previous visitor. Pretty gross.

If that weren't enough, the latches to the stall door I found myself behind was pretty greasy on the edges, as if years of finger grease has accumulated on it from people sliding it back and forth so many times.

These little things, I'm sorry to say, made the experience less than savory and made me hurry with my business, for fear of what other items the cleaning crew had overlooked might appear here.

Marks out of 10:

6. Would be an 8 if it were not for the greasy latch, felled soup dispenser and boogers on the wall.

Comments to the Management:

The soap dispenser is an easy fix -- just mount it right and move on. But the greasy latch and boogers make me think that your cleaning crew just focuses on the main target items (toilets, vanity, floor) and not the rest of the place. Time to do a head-to-toe scrubbing of the place.

Never Sit on Nasty Toilet Seat at Nelore

Nelore Churrascaria
5350 International Dr
Orlando, FL 32819-9427
www.nelorechurrascaria.com

Where is it?

To reach the bathroom from the main entrance, first head past the fountain that greets you when you walk in. Turn right and you'll come to the hostess station. From there, snake around the walls dividing the entrance area and the bar, which will be to your left, and enter the sprawling main dining room.

You will be in the back right corner of the dining room at this point. In the center of the room is a large salad bar and beyond that, against the far left wall, is a glass enclosed wine room. Go behind that wine room to find the hallway leading to the bathrooms.

What's it like?

Orlando of late has become home to several Brazilian churrascarias, and while this one isn't my favorite in town (that honor easily belongs to the wonderful Texas de Brazil) this one is certainly dependable and offers a decent variation on the experience.

The meats here are have a stronger bite of vinegar and salt to them and on the whole are chewier in texture, which makes them a little more authentically Brazilian, since South Americans tend to like to chew on tougher (and more flavorful) cuts more than most Americans do. The salad bar here is a smaller but has a few more authentically Brazilian items - a real heart of palm salad, for example, with the toothsome palmito used in Brazil versus the mushy one we normally get in the U.S. The wine list is a more modest, the service a little more detached and the dining room more cavernous (and with lots of slick plaster patterns on the walls).

For a change of pace, and to see how others interpret this traditional grilling method, it's an interesting stop. But seeing that it's about the same price as Texas de Brazil (which is expensive to begin with), I think you may be better served with a better dining experience at that location. Nevertheless, you will leave here stuffed to the gills with meat -- if that's the goal, then you really can't go wrong at this place.

The bathrooms are also similar in spirit and style to Texas de Brazil, although they are also not as ambitious. The chambers are a little roomier and lack that Spanish-prison feel of Texas de Brazil. They are better lit and bright, with fewer decorative accouterments like rugs or sleek tile work. But at the same time they have some style and a neato bit of technology that's hard to find outside of Europe (more on that later).

The floor here is covered with small black and white tiles that instantly reminded me of the patterns seen in more modest surroundings, like at Steak n Shake or Theo's Kitchen. The walls are made of drywall and painted white on the bottom and lime green on top, with a molding line separating the two. (The colors reminded me a lot of the pattern used at Nona Sushi, only in this context they were a bit jarring to see at first, since the dining room is dark and classically designed and this carries a slight tropical vibe to it.)

The room itself has a standard setup, with a two sink vanity station up front, two urinals beyond that and two toilet stalls beyond that -- with beige metal divider walls. Similar to the setup at Conservation Station in Disney's Animal Kingdom really.

The vanity has some modern style to it -- so much so that you wonder why the rest of the place is so ordinary-looking. The vanity has white basins in place of sinks and metal spigot faucets above them. All of it sits atop a thick black marble counter and beneath a large, well-lit stretch mirror. Some fake flowers sit to the side of it all, to add to the decor. Again, not as classy as the masonry work found at the vanity in Texas de Brazil's vanity but not bad and certainly unexpected. Kind of had the same wow factor I found at Mr. K's Chinese Cuisine -- you expect plain Jane and get a little style and are thankful for it, but not much more than that.

The urinals and toilets were standard white porcelain, nothing too flashy. Except for the "Automatic Toilet Seat Cover" item that was installed on each toilet. We've seen a similar contraption before at the wonderful Sanifair bathrooms found in Germany. Those, I should say, were a little better integrated into the toilet; these look like after-the-fact add-ons (almost like toilet seat booster chairs) and required a little forethought before sitting down.

Still, the concept is neat: Before you sit to do your business, you push a button and a new seat cover (sterile and clean) spins out for you, ready for the next visitor. This ensures it to be as clean as possible (and with all the meat served here, it's definitely a good option to make, since you know these bathrooms get visited often by the patrons -- there's no other way to make room for the food, really).

Marks out of 10:

7. Clean and predictable, with a few surprises, but nothing grand enough to raise the score above the more stylish Texas de Brazil.

Comments to the Management:

Would like to see the color scheme muted some here, so it's not such a rough transition from dining room to bathroom. Also, more decor on the walls would be nice -- right now, you've got an uneven split of style and ordinary. I'm thinking that a little more style couldn't hurt -- your dining room's got it, why not here?