Islands of Adventure: Toon Lagoon Toilets Are Worst in the Park

Islands of Adventure Theme Park
Toon Lagoon Toilet
Universal Orlando Resort
1000 Universal Studios Plaza
Orlando, FL USA
www.universalorlando.com

Where is it?

Walk through Toon Lagoon and look for Gasoline Alley, a small souvenir store set amid the creative set design found there that looks like a gas station convenience store from the outside and sells various cartoon-based souvenirs instead of standard gas station stuff.

Just past Gasoline Alley is a faux garage -- really, it looks like a cartoon service garage. Those are the bathrooms.

What's it like?

I admired the look of the outside of the bathrooms here more than what I found inside. Outside, the garage design is clever. Inside, you'll find a somewhat tiny environment that's both crammed, stuffy, smelly and messy.

As stated in my review of the bathrooms across from the Hulk Coaster, the normal rule of thumb for theme park toilets is that the further you are from the higher traffic areas, the cleaner the toilets.

These toilets prove that theory wrong. These were the messiest and more disgusting toilets I visited in the park, and they were a little off the beaten path and did not have much foot traffic around them.

So perhaps the theory should be amended: Any toilet where small children are the main populace will lead you to the worst toilets -- and the attractions and rides in the park's Toon Lagoon area cater mostly to children.

Also worsening things is the fact that the park's two big-name water rides, the Dudley Doo Right flume and the Popeye river rapids, are in this area, meaning that children over the height minimum will come to these bathrooms after they are soaked in the park's stinky ride water and relieve themselves, making these toilets an algae breeding ground of theme park proportions. And that's really what this place smells like.

Amenities-wise, the toilets here are about one third the size of the ones experienced in Super Hero Island. White toilets, urinals and sinks. Four urinals along the back wall, with three stalls across from it, a sink station up front, a baby changing station and a big mirror. The feel of the bathroom is decidedly cave-like for such a small space. Not much privacy, even if you're alone here because the small space echoes the noises heard outside a bit too well.

The walls are covered in a classy gray/off-white tile, the floor in that standard red brick tile I've seen at places like Hershey's Ice Cream Vista Lakes. It's definitely homey, to a certain degree, in here.

But what a mess. The floor was covered with paper and water, and the stalls were filled with unrolled toilet paper and water -- so much so that I felt like I was wading through a one-inch-deep cesspool. The toilet had some poop streaks inside as well. Just gross. And the smell..... Think algae breeding ground mixed with pee......

Marks out of 10:

3. A nice bathroom from the outside, and structurally, but a disaster zone in terms of cleanliness and smell.

Comments to the Management:

You definitely need to send the cleaning crew over more here. This place needs constant attention. As is, it looks like the children visiting it are setting the cleaning schedule for it.

Islands of Adventure: Second Super Hero Island Toilets Suck

Islands of Adventure Theme Park
Super Hero Island Toilet 2
Universal Orlando Resort
1000 Universal Studios Plaza
Orlando, FL USA
www.universalorlando.com

Where is it?

From the Hulk Coaster, head further into Super Hero Island, towards the Spiderman ride, also one of the park's biggest draws (and one of the best rides I've ever been on -- just outstanding fun!).

Pass Spiderman and keep on going down that main path. You'll see a "Frozen Ice" stand on your right -- the letters drawn out in a comic-book-inspired font that will make you think this is the most extreme frozen ice stand in the world (and perhaps it is, though I didn't stop there on my way to the loo).

Across the street from that stand is the restrooms, marked by the word "RESTROOMS" in large comic-book lettering (the same way as you see them by the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets).

What's it like?

The Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets I experienced were in a very crowded area filled with kids and adults, and they ended up being clean and nice. Not outstanding, but nice.

These facilities were surrounded by just as many people but the experience was opposite. There was a sharp smell of urine in here. The floor was covered in spilled water, paper and other substances. The toilet seats I spotted were dotted with pee. I am wondering if those little target stickers at the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets actually helped people aim, because these toilets were filled with the aftereffects of many marksmen who missed their marks. Ick.

Which is sad, because this place is a little roomier and friendlier in design than the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets. Though the differences are not great. There is still a row of urinals against the back wall and a stretch of toilet commodes opposite it. A set of sink stations sits ups front. The rest of the bathroom kind of unfolds behind the sinks.

The tile pattern on the wall is warmer here -- like the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets the walls and floor have a gray tile pattern and bland gray floor tiles, but the walls are also dotted with colorful blue, red and yellow highlights, which are more pleasant than the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets use of straight gray.

Still, despite those advantages, I could not look past the messiness of the place, nor its urine-based stink. As with the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets, I understand there will be some messiness involved. After all, this place is visited by thousands of people each week. But the traffic around these toilets and the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets was about the same (at least, from what I could see) and I was surprised by how much cleaner the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets were over these.

Not the worst toilets I experienced while at Islands of Adventure (those are the Toon Lagoon facilities -- review coming soon), but these were definitely in the lower echelon. Avoid if possible and walk the extra 10 minutes to the Jurassic Park toilets if you're in dire need.

Marks out of 10:

4. A nice mass-market design marred by a lack of upkeep.

Comments to the Management:

Simply put: You need to schedule your cleaners to visit this place more often. These toilets should be much cleaner than the Cafe 4/Hulk Coaster toilets (in case I haven't used that term enough in this review). They are more removed from the main action and not set next to a sit-down dining establishment. I'm thinking that because of their location, they are not cleaned as regularly -- that's a shame. These are good toilets that deserve better.

Islands of Adventure: Super Hero Island Toilets Just So So

Islands of Adventure Theme Park
Super Hero Island Toilet 1
Universal Orlando Resort
1000 Universal Studios Plaza
Orlando, FL USA
www.universalorlando.com

Where is it?

After entering the park, follow the masses to the Incredible Hulk Coaster, one of the park's main draws. Once there, look across the street from it for the Cafe 4 restaurant, named after the Fantastic Four superheroes. (It's just a fast food restaurant, nothing more.)

Approach the entrance to Cafe 4 and then before heading in look immediately to your left. The restrooms will be there -- hard to miss because the word "RESTROOMS" is cast over the entrance wall to the facilities in a font looking a lot like comic book writing.

What's it like?

The rule of thumb for most theme park bathrooms is that the further you are from people, the cleaner and more enjoyable the bathroom experience.

Given that this bathroom is located across from one of the park's biggest attractions (the ferocious Hulk coaster), and that I found the ride itself swarmed with people both looking warily at the ride and gearing up for standing in line for it, and the fact that Cafe 4 is the first proper eatery you come across while in the park (there are stands and such in the main greeting area, but nothing to sit down and enjoy a meal at), I prepared myself for the worst here. Lots of people + scary ride=Messy toilet. Thus, I expected this toilet to be truly horrid, smelly, filthy, even vomit strewn.

However, that wasn't the case. I was pleasantly surprised by what I found here. While it wasn't the cleanest toilet I experienced inside the park (that would be the one in the Lost Continent) I was amazed to find that the toilets here were clean, spacious and a cut above the functional base.

These are sprawling facilities, with a row of about 10 or so urinals fixed into one wall and a string of about eight toilet stalls opposite it. A stretch of sink stations is found in the front, with paper towel and soap dispensers fixed between them. A baby-changing station is in the front, opposite a large stretch mirror, which is the only mirror in the place. (Clearly, people don't want to see how horrified they look after getting off the Hulk ride, eh?)

The fixtures themselves are nothing special: White porcelain toilets, sinks and urinals. The walls are covered with a friendly gray and white tile pattern and the floors have a standard mattered gray tile on them (like what you see at several places). There are no decorations on the walls, just the tile work.

In all, a pretty straightforward and clean bathroom, well-maintained and inviting. A bit airport-like in feel, but with a bit of a friendlier facade. Then again, what more do you want from the place, seeing that thousands of people visit the facilities each week?

One oddity to note: The urinals all had little target stickers in them, the stickers themselves being about the size of a nickle. Not sure what they were there for (didn't want to get too close, since they're in urinals) but still I took note. Is that to help children with target practice?

Marks out of 10:

6. A decent, functional mass market toilet. A bit sterile but then that's kind of expect, given the volume the place does.

Comments to the Management:

Not much to say here. If anything, I would say that the biggest complaint is that the place lacks the creative design found in the area outside, and you kind of expect a little more flash inside here. (Heck, if Vegas hotels can do it, why not here?)

But then again, seeing that this is the first bathroom people cross when they come inside (outside of the one by the ticket booth, which was too much of a madhouse to review), and that it's beside a major attraction, it could have been much worse. So in a way, I must give kudos to that as well.

At Bento Cafe, You Can Watch TV and Crap at the Same Time, Sort Of

Bento Cafe
121 S Orange Ave
Ste 130N
Orlando, FL USA
www.bentocafesushi.com

Where is it?

This restaurant is shaped much like a fat "L," in that the entrance and order line form the thin top to the letter and the dining area forms the fat bottom or base.

To find the bathrooms from the entrance, head right, into the dining area, and then turn left down the center of the dining room, heading towards the back wall. Once there, look for a small opening to an enclave containing a wall with several ornate cutouts in it -- the cutouts are all illuminated with blue light, making a decorative design. The toilets are to each side of that light pattern wall -- men's to the left, ladies' to the right.

What's it like?

This hip Japanese-inspired hot spot boasts a slick interior filled with glowing blue lights, pumping house music, ornate wall hangings and lamps -- in many ways it feels like a dance club crossed with a Vegas eatery.

And that's certainly the vibe: While there is a full menu and the place draws thick crowds at lunch, the emphasis here seems to be more on socializing than dining -- think of it like an ultralounge take on the sushi restaurant. Visitors line up at a counter to order, find a table and then get their food delivered to them. The line-up is reminiscent of the line you enter to enter a dance club, if you think about it.

The food here offers both unique and traditional Asian fare, with an emphasis on noodle bowls and -- as the name suggests -- bento boxes. Dishes range from Thai-inspired curries to sushi to udon to bulgogi to boba tea and then some. The food itself is decent and well-priced, considering the portion size, though I must admit it's not outstanding -- certainly not in the league of, say, Nona Sushi, Shiki on the Beach or the wonderful Rangetsu -- and in a way the place feels more like a spot to hang out than eat. Still, for a moderately priced lunch with fresh ingredients, I was satisfied by the offerings.

The toilets are indeed some of the most stylish I've seen outside of Vegas. While they do not rival the design, artfulness and luxury of Sensi or Okada, they do provide a unique, almost nightclub-inspired atmosphere filled with hi-tech touches. This is the sort of bathroom I expected Shari Sushi to have, really. However, like Shari Sushi, it also has a few misgivings -- resulting mostly from trying to hard to make it stylish and not hard enough to make functionality its core.

The facilities are roomy one-baggers. The sink is to the far right of the room, the toilet in the back left corner, a trash can in the front right corner and a red door separating you from the dining room (a la Anmol, only not quite as stately).

It's a dimly lit (though not as dim as Shari Sushi) and clean environment, though I did find some mis-thrown paper towels here and there, including one on top of the trash can lid. Clearly the person who tossed it didn't want to bother himself with picking it up and actually opening the trashcan to dispose of it properly (clearly, the beautiful people can't be bothered with beautifying anything but themselves), and as a result I got to perform that wonderful duty. Thanks, man. I hope one day I can return the favor.

The walls and floor here are covered in black tile, the toilet, sink and urinal are white porcelain and seem to work a similar decorative angle as what you'll find at Sensi or Okada, only the set up is much homier here and not nearly as Zen-like. There is an automatic paper towel dispenser set above and to the right of the sink and a soap dispenser nearby.

The walls are bare, save for one important item, which is the bathroom's highlight: There is a small flat panel TV set into the wall near the toilet.

I like the inclusion here as it offers you something to look at while you're doing your business. Sadly, because the TV is in the front left corner of the bathroom, it makes watching it difficult since, for example, if you're on the pot you don't have a direct line to the TV, since it's to your right and up some. Thus, to watch it, you would have to actually lift yourself up from the pot, which of course makes for an unpleasant experience.....

Marks out of 10:

8. Very stylish, clean environment marred only by a few design flaws in its attempt to reach the next level.

Comments to the Management:

Consider moving that TV to the same wall as the door. This would align it perfectly for the visitor using the toilet. Whether or not that's possible, I can't say. But it's certainly something to think about and isn't too hard to do, given a little tile work and some wiring.

Yawn! World Market Orlando Toilets Offer Warehouse Feel, Little Else

World Market
1744 Sand Lake Road
Orlando, FL USA
www.worldmarket.com

Where is it?

From the front entrance: Head to the back left corner of the place, which is the store's wine department. Once there. look for a small hallway (very back corner, against the back wall), which will be filled with various wine, beer and soft drink boxes.

Go down that hallway to find the toilets, which will be on your left. (Do not confuse them with the employee break room, which will be on your right. This will only make the employees look at you funny before they point you in the right direction.)

What's it like?

Another home furnishings and housewares store, another bland bathroom. Just like Bed Bath and Beyond and its cousin red-headed step-cousin Linens-N-Things.

This chain spices up the usual home furnishings and housewares approach by adding a touch of Pier 1 to the mix. So guests here can scour shelf after shelf of dinnerware, glassware, home furnishings and such, but those items have a touch of the exotic to them. Lots of Polynesian-themed wicker baskets and chairs, for example, or wine glasses that exemplify the craftsmanship and style of the pieces over their functionality. It's a lot like heading down the anything-goes merchandising aisle in a T.J. Maxx or Marshalls, only expanded to an entire store.

The highlight here, of course, is the food and wine section, which features everything from unique specialty items (including gourmet spices, coffees, dry goods, canned goods and more), many of them from Europe or from small independent businesses in the U.S. (very little mainstream here) to a decent wine selection that offers a good array of mid-ranged bottles from around the world, with an emphasis on California and Australian wineries.

Like all home furnishings and housewares stores, the interior here is stylish and slick and seems to emphasize the act of impulse buying. Heck, flatly put there's nothing here that's really a necessity, so if you're not here to buy on impulse, I can't see why you'd come here in the first place.

Given that, you'd expect the bathrooms to have some style -- and going in I thought they would easily best the flatly designed toilets found at Bed Bath and Beyond and Linens-N-Things.

That's not the case. Rather than offer up a cool environment (for some reason, I keep picturing these massive housewares stores to house bathrooms like the ones I found at Shiki on the Beach), these toilets were surprisingly warehouse-like in feel and reminded me a lot of the facilities found at Total Wine Orlando or Total Wine in Raleigh, just without the sharp stinks of poo and pee present there. What gives?

Of course, unlike those places, there was some decor here, namely in the appearance of two lonely glass vases filled with various wicker balls positioned on a lowly stainless steel shelves below the mirror and above the sink. Also, there were two framed posters displaying monthly sale offers (10% off of this, etc.), but that was about it.

On a housewares store scale, it fell below the familiar but trusty tile work of Linens-N-Things but it was step above from the poorly installed product placement at Bed Bath and Beyond.

The walls are white drywall, the floor covered in white linoleum, with gray rubber trim along the sides. The place is small, with one large handicapped accessible stall for doing number two, one urinal and one sink -- the latter two items placed a little to close together to offer much privacy, especially when compared to the stall.

The toilet and sinks are white porcelain and clean though a touch weathered. The sink has one of those push-down faucets to limit water control. A plunger stood idly by the toilet, making me think clogs were common. Black soap dispensers hung near the sinks (there are two here, if you count the one in the handicap stall), and it has a couple of those hand-crank paper towel dispensers (instead of automatic).

Not exactly the most modern of places, but it's clean and odor free, which makes it perfectly serviceable.

As for oddities, I found two: First, there was a roll of paper towels sitting on that stainless shelf beside the glass vase. Why it was there, since the crank towel dispenser was just a few inches away, was beyond me. Still, I thought it was worth pointing out.

Also, there was a torn-away strip of paper towel in the main sink, and it was stuck next to the drain. What was unique about it was that it was dry in the sink -- or at least it appeared dry (no way in hell would I touch it), because even after I used the sink it and knowingly spilled water on it, it didn't look wet at all.

Of course, I thought it might be the quality of towel offered there, that perhaps they repelled water. But I used the ones from the dispenser to dry my hands and they did an okay job. Perhaps it's a piece of paper fashioned from the same magic as the floating toilet seat seen at Thai Singha?

Marks out of 10:

6. Serviceable and clean but nothing special.

Comments to the Management:

It's a perfectly functional toilet. I would just like to see one of these housewares stores actually live up to the promise they are exhibiting on the sales floor. Is it that difficult? Or are the toilets just not a priority? If American Signature Furniture South Orlando can do it, why can't you?

On a different note, I would like to market some of the magic used to keep that bit of paper towel dry.