Full-Bodied Stink with Hints of Grossness at Total Wine Raleigh Toilets

Total Wine & More - Raleigh Triangle
Triangle Plaza
6105 Capital Blvd
Raleigh, NC USA 27616
www.totalwine.com

Where is it?

Proving that they must be for customers only, the toilets here are found near the exit, on the other side of the cashiers.

To get to them, you need to enter the store through the main entrance, go left, pass through an empty cashier line (or, if they are blocked, wait through a full one) and then take an immediate right, and go down a hallway composed solely of drywall. The bathrooms are down that hallway.

What's it like?

This mammoth wine and beverage warehouse (part of a chain throughout the southeast U.S.) on Raleigh's bustling Capital Boulevard offers a classy, comprehensive environment that wine, booze and beer lovers will find hard to hate. Aisles upon aisles of wine varietals, plenty of unique and commonly found spirits and a great beer selection (the only place I've been able to find the fine Latvian lager Luksus, believe it or not!) -- as beverage store selections go, this one is near the tops.

I wish I could say the same about the bathrooms, though. Housed in that aforementioned drywall corridor, the toilets here feel cheap, almost tacked on. These are colorless, even classless, facilities.

The walls are white, bare and porous, allowing you to hear just about every sound possible by the nearby string of cashiers. The floors, covered in rough-looking black and gray tile and dark grout, are dour-looking and appear dingier than they really are (or at least probably are). The fixtures are your standard white porcelain variety; clean and in good shape but boring and bland. There are no decorations on the wall or any sense of color anywhere.

Even worse is the sharp smell of urine that permeates the air in here. Really stinging, rivaling the stink more commonly associated with poorly kept gas station stalls. (What is it with fancy-looking stores that have foul smelling toilets? I'm looking at you, Fresh Market Orlando and Bed Bath and Beyond Waterford Lakes, for an answer here!) The smell was so bad, it rivaled the pungency of the toilet I visited at the Riverside Walk trail head in Zion National Park -- and that was an outhouse!

Marks out of 10:

4. Bland environment through and through -- with a smell that lingers long in the nose and palette. Great conceit for wine, not great for bathrooms, though.

Comments to the Management:

For starters, how about putting something on the walls here -- like a circular or some of those general wine vine decorations you can pick up at any dollar store. Next, put some air fresheners here -- you really need it!

Old Mining Shack Gets Style at LuLu Wilson

Lu Lu Wilson,

316 E. Hopkins Ave.,

Aspen, CO USA 81611


Where is it?

From the front door head towards the bar, and head towards the back. Pass the bar (making sure you stop before the kitchens) and on the left you’ll find the door to the toilet.


What’s it like?

Lulu Wilson’s is set in an old mining cabin built in 1893 that was later the home of a woman named of that name. A strikingly large chandelier dominates the place, but mirrors and, well-placed antique lighting fixtures and stark white walls soon distract you from it. This place gives you as much a feeling of history as anywhere in the US.

The food is pretty damned good as well. A quick stop for a main course, soon turned into a leisurely three courses with wine and tea. And the starter and main were pretty damned fantastic. I’d have to say the apple crumble wasn’t up to much. I certainly could have done a better job – and lets face it that is the basis we all use to decide the quality of a dessert – even if it was the chef’s grandmother’s recipe.

The antique feel is continued in the toilet. A great mirror and the towel holder are fantastic. This gives some interest. Otherwise these are perfectly comfortable toilets. Nothing stunning, for example the tile is pretty dull. But they are claen and fit the the rest of the restaurant totally.


Marks out of 10:

8. Slightly dark, but quality with it.


Comments to the management:

Why change what is perfectly good?

Carlsberg Akademi: Probably the Best Toilets in The World?

Carlsberg Akademi
Gamle Carlsberg Vej 15,
2500 Valby
Copenhagen
Denmark

http://www.carlsbergfondet.dk/Akademi/index.htm

Where is it?

Starting from the front entrance, follow through the hall and then head right. Follow the corridor taking the opportunity to glance in the library as you pass. Keep going into the summer house, maybe stopping off at the bar as you pass, again heading right into the main hall. Across to your left you’ll see the signs for the toilets.


What’s it like?

Carlsberg has some cool adverts in the UK. My favourite is the club with polite bouncers, loads of taxis, and service you and I will never have. Carlsberg don’t do clubs, but if they did they would probably be the best clubs in the world. But do their toilets come up to scratch.

The venue for this event was the Carlsberg Akademi near the centre of Copenhagen. The Akademi is part of a Carlsberg family bequest and used to be the owners’ family home. Knowing this place is next to the factory you might think it isn’t going to be up to much. You’d be wrong. It’s a small, but wonderfully proportioned stately home. Add the fact that functions here attract unlimited beer and you have to say it’s a fantastic venue. Probably the best bar in the world! But what about the toilets?

Hey. The verdict has to be that it is not that bad. It’s not got the flash of some toilets we visit, but for a turn 19th century toilet it’s comfy enough. It also has some classical features galore. The first thing you’ll notice even before you get there is the quaint little people painted on the wall. Is it just me, but they seem like the sort of people you could have a nice chat to on the way past. Friendly toilets signs are unusual things indeed. Then you’ll notice the solidity of the place. Brass fittings, a solid door, stylish and solid toilet and sink; all of them add to your certainly that someone in the past invested well.

Then you notice there are already residents. Rather pale ones, maybe because of the slight chill, but the classic friezes on the wall certainly add a talking point. Even though they don’t exactly look your way when you’re doing your stuff, it could be all a little unnerving if you had partaken in a little too much of the local product.


Marks out of 10:

9. Classic oddities that will amuse in a fantastic setting!


Comments to the management:

Some classic touches that will provide a talking point!

As Bathrooms at Car Dealerships Go, Raleigh's Johnson Lexus Is Tops

Johnson Lexus of Raleigh
5839 Capital Blvd.
Raleigh, NC USA 27616
nitra.lexusdealer.com/johnson-raleigh

Where is it?

From the drop-off area in the service section, head inside the building and follow the main hallway around until you come to a lobby in between the service department and the sales department.

The area has a modest coffee bar (serving free Starbucks coffee and various danish and pastries -- unlike, say, Lexus of Orlando, which makes you pay for this sort of stuff), business center, kids room, television lounge and more. The bathrooms are across the hall from the TV lounge.

What's it like?

I've been to only two Lexus dealerships in my life (this one and the aforementioned Lexus of Orlando), and both exude sense of luxury that seems more akin to high-end hotels like the Wynn Las Vegas or Mansion on Forsyth Park than a car dealership. (Hell, the Nissan dealership I bought my most recent car from was more traditional in terms of decor.)

Thanks to the abundance of art found on the walls here (nice art too, not just tacky stuff you'd buy at the bargain bin of Michael's Arts and Crafts or American Signature Furniture) this dealership often feels like an art gallery first and a car dealership second -- quite an accomplishment considering that most car dealerships offer little sense of comfort.

As mentioned earlier, you'll find plenty of distractions here, from a small cafe serving free coffee and pastries to a fully functioning business center to a very friendly staff that always seems ready to lend a hand. (In my customer survey on this place, which I filled out while waiting for my companion's car to be fixed -- an oil change -- I noted that my experience at this dealership was so good that I would considering driving up from Florida to experience it again..... which of course says perhaps a little too much about my opinion of my hometown Lexus dealership, which isn't bad but just not even remotely in the league of this establishment).

The bathrooms here are palatial and luxurious on many levels. Inside, you'll find cool marble tiles along the floor and walls, with a regal blue pattern set in to change up the monotony some. The two urinals are separated by a granite divider, and the two stall doors are separated by both granite (for the divider's foundations) and wood (for the doors themselves).

The stretching vanity counter is composed of a single piece of black granite, and the sink stations are well-spread out, offering the using lots of room (perhaps even too much) for use. Sinks and toilets are sensor-driven, though the soap dispensers and paper towel dispensers are not.

I'm not so much bothered by the latter, since automatic towel dispensers can be kind of a pain (especially in trying to get that second strip after you've already got your first). The soap dispenser is another matter, however -- and that's really the only flaw I found here. They are built into the walls on each end of the vanity, so that they bookend the structure. Because the vanity is so long, you have to stretch a good ways just to lather up your hands -- and because of that, the chances of spilling soap on your return trip are increased. Why not place automatic soap dispensers by the sinks instead of manual ones away from the sink? Seems like an awful long way to travel to get some soap.

Still, the place is spotless, everything is in working order (which is more than what I can say about my last visit to Lexus of Orlando) and the cleaning crew here pumps in a delectable air freshener. As Lexus dealership bathrooms go, this one is tops.

Marks out of 10:

9. Would have been a perfect 10 were it not for those soap dispensers.

Comments to the Management:

Great job here. The place is a true oasis. If you fix the issue with the soap dispensers, you'll be among the Where's the Toilet elite.

Flying Saucer a Haven for Lovers of Beer and Sticky Floors

Flying Saucer Draught Emporium
328 W Morgan St
Raleigh, NC USA 27601
www.beerknurd.com

Where is it?

From the entrance, walk to the back of the place, keeping the enormous bar on your right so that you're heading towards the kitchen entrance. After the bar, turn right, into the back dining room, and then hang an immediate right into the hallway found just past the bar's cashier. The toilets are there.

What's it like?

This mammoth, cavernous kitschy beer hall serves approximately 200 beers on tap and offers a wide menu of delicious bar food, much of it with a modern German-American slant. The bratwurst nachos, for example, sound like they would be atrocious but in the end they turn out to be delicious, understated little munchies. Just as impressive are the homemade pretzels, which are chewy on the outside and doughy on the inside -- just about as perfect as hot pretzels can be, really.

The main attraction here, of course, is the beer selection -- as I said, there are more than 200 varieties on tap alone. The gimmick here is that if you drink a pint of all 200 (at a maximum of 3 beers a day), you will get your name put on a "flying saucer" that is then hung on the wall of the place -- a sort of trophy to commemorate the accomplishment, if you will. The dining hall walls are decked with these saucers, each of which carries an amusing, albeit somewhat drunkenly composed, victory statement uttered by one of the people who have succeeded in drinking these 200 pints of beer.

The bathrooms aren't as fun as the dining hall though they aren't as awful as similarly minded establishments. Still, given the kitschy sense of humor exhibited in the dining room, I half expected the bathrooms to be similar to the ones found at the Pig and Whistle Pub in Florida, which is overflowing with amusing novelty signs. Sadly, that isn't the case.

The floors here are green linoleum and very sticky to walk on, the walls simple white drywall and decorated with an assortment of beer novelty signs, as well as some event listings and clippings from the area's alternative presses (the Saucer is located near NC State University and thus caters very much to its collegiate surroundings).

The vanity is made of black marble and contains two sink stations set beneath a long mirror. You'll find two urinals here and two stalls, one of them for the handicapped.

Outside of the sticky floors (they're sticky enough that you'll have to lift your feet with some force to free yourself after standing at the urinal for a pee), the toilets were pretty clean. Though, it also showed some signs of wear and tear and the management may want to look into making some updates in the coming year or so.

Marks out of 10:

7. Really a 6, given the very sticky floors and lack of imagination employed here (especially compared to the dining room), but the dining hall is so much fun I had to raise the score some. This is a great, fun place to spend an afternoon -- especially if you love beer!

Comments to the Management:

Unless the sticky floors are a selling point, you may want to solve that problem relatively soon. Also, consider adding more items to the bathroom walls -- maybe even some of those flying saucers you're so proud to give out.