Sunday 13 May 2007

Danger Danger! Toilet Roll Holder May Kill

Mount Mills
Witan Way
OX28 4FF
United Kingdom

Where is it?

From the entrance head left past the cafeteria and they are on your left at the front of the store.

What’s it like?

I’ve never been one for using Supermarket toilets. I don’t know why – but the fact that everyone has to use the grocery store and you never quite know the type of clientele you’re going to meet puts me off. That’s not to say they’re all bad. I’d quite happily go out of my way to use the toilet in Marks and Spencer’s and I always know to avoid Borders (terrible toilets in every town in every country I’ve ever been in).

Well, a beer on the way home and a phone call that went along the lines of you’re late and meet me at the store or else, landed me in the situation of not being able to wait for the amenities at home.

What I was met with was OK. The first thing that struck me was that, bar the colour, the fittings were a doppelganger of those in circuit city (see Eyal’s review of April 10th). Still, this is functional enough and they were cleaner than I expected. A quick look around made me a little more concerned.

Looking in the first stool a danger sign met me. Placed on the toilet roll holder it was so large that the fault must have been really serious. The holder must have been able to kill. One wrong look and the mean thing would strangle you with a good dose of two-ply top quality paper! I decided to use the next stool.

The sinks were also pretty clean, but when you got to them you were again greeted with a long sign explaining the fault with the automatic tap had been reported and the management apologised. Moreover the hot water might be a tad too hot so be careful! I can gladly report that the taps were fine and the water was perfect. This led me to question whether the toilet roll holder was fully functional. Is this Health and Safety gone mad? Indeed, this was a particularly British experience.

Marks out of 10:

6 for functionality, but the paranoia about the killer toilet roll holder is going to stay with me for some time.

Comments to the management:

Good job on the cleaning, but maybe you should fix things quicker.

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