1000 Signs in 1000 Palms Canyon OR Outhouse Review #3 – California Strikes Back

Caochella Valley Preserve
1000 Palms Canyon
Near Palm Spings, CA USA


Where is it?

From the parking area (car park would be an over statement as it is really a bit of desert with a few rocks around it) head into the reserve. Keep your wits about you though as there are wild animals out to get you. No kidding, a cougar was seen near the cars that very morning! Continue keeping the visitor centre to the right. Head off across the picnic area and you’ll come across the out house.


What’s it like?

What I knew about Palm Springs CA before I got there was limited to a couple of stereotypes. All I really knew was that its likely to be warmer than Aspen and was full of old people and, as with anywhere where old people go for winter, was likely to have little to offer. I guess on the first point I was proved right. Leaving Aspen on a cold crisp sunny morning at 21F and arriving at 4pm in the springs to find it hot, dry and 95F certainly did that! But did the place have little to offer?

On the basis of my ill founded stereotypes I’d given myself a little less than 20 hours for this stop, but after squeezing my meetings into the evening and first thing I found myself with a couple of hours to test out my theory. Well, lets just say other than a half decent Thai meal on the main street (the waitress gave me fantastic service after I asked for chop sticks - obviously ignoring the other customers who’s fingers couldn’t cope with the idea) the best thing to do involved the best outhouse we’ve yet featured.

'Better than Red Rock?' I hear you say – well lets say the instructions, safety features, and welcome relief have to make this place the best out house I've been in for many years! So what gives?

Well, if you’ve seen Eyal’s review of Red Rock Canyon you’ll already have the idea, and given I was in suit and trousers, you’ll also understand that I looked a little out of place. Dusty, hot, but with spectacular scenery that made the effort of polish my shoes later that night well worth it.

Once there, you have to say the out house is cute from outside. White paint and a pagoda make it look like its on Martha’s Vineyard rather than in the scorching desert. The first thing you notice inside is that it’s pretty damned clean for a toilet in the middle of the desert. Then it starts to hit you that, yeah, you really are in the desert and there isn’t any running water for this pit stop. But this is where this operation is so good. It’s not busy and is ultimately private (half of the hut all to yourself) so you can afford to take your time.

Then there are the signs.

There’s the ones on operation. If you were wondering how it all works its all there for you on the signs. You are using a recycling (composting to be exact) toilet by Clivus. And could it be any simpler? No this is the ultimate in toilets. No flush, no taps, no towels and the sanitizing soap smelled good too. Cool.

Then there are the signs for entertainment. I knew at least three species of bat by the time I left.

AND THEN there are the safety signs. You soon decide to watch out that there are no stray mountain lions in the cabin before you enter. And was I just paranoid when checking under the toilet seat for rattlesnakes?

Overall, for an outhouse (did I say that already Eyal?) this place was pretty damned good! Take a trip and see. Honest you won't regret it.


Marks out of 10:

7. A desert oasis.


Comments to the management:

Fantastic facilities in the middle of nowhere.

Outhouse Review #2: Zion National Park -- Stinky Yet Serene

Zion National Park
Springdale, UT USA 84767

http://www.nps.gov/zion/

Where is it?

These facilities are located at the Temple of Sinewava area of the park, which is the last stop on the bus route that goes through the park.

What's it like?

These bathrooms, found at the mouth of the Riverside Walk trail at Zion (which lead you to the Virgin River and the mouth of the canyon), work much like mass market facilities, in that they can accommodate several people at a time instead of just one (like a regular outhouse).

Design wise, the building they are in matches well with the stunning rock vistas around it, and the wood composition makes it look like a facility one would use in frontier times. They offer running water and flush urinals and toilets, which makes them more like traditional toilets than outhouses. However, they are also located in the middle of the wilderness and smell sharply of urine and waste -- like a regular outhouse. They are somewhat clean, however expect to see lots of trash, mis-thrown paper towels and mud on the floor, as well as some obvious signs of wear and tear. Also, the stench inside can be so sharp at times that you may want to hurry your stop in order to return to the fresh air outside.

Note: The toilets here are also located at one of the most popular stops on the Zion tram, so expect to hear and see lots of traffic, both inside the toilets and out. Lots of tour groups use the sitting area at the base of the stop as a place to eat lunch or gather with other group members who have gone off to do their own thing (it was so busy I couldn't get a free moment to take a picture of the interior -- sorry). Not really a place for privacy, but then again you don't have any other choice because of the location.

Marks out of 10:

5. It's the only game in town, and though it's not terrible it's not nearly as eloquent, private or clean as the outhouse visited in Bryce Canyon (review coming soon).

Comments to the Management:

Needs a complete overhaul, including paint job and updating of fixtures. Needs a serious deep cleaning too -- and adding in some air fresheners wouldn't hurt (unless it attracted animals, of course).

Chez Panisse Eschews Country Feel for Cannes Glamour

Chez Panisse,
2 Boulevard Jean Hibert ,
6400,
Cannes,
France.

http://www.sofitel.com/sofitel/fichehotel/gb/sof/0591/fiche_hotel.shtml


Where is it?

Drag yourself away from the view of the Mediterranean and prepare for a long trip. From the street side head into the restaurant and towards the back. Pass to the left of the counter. Follow around to the right and there is a doorway. Go through it up the step. The door to the toilet is on the right….

But then, if it is engaged, as it was when I was visiting, turn about and you’ll see some signs for a first floor alternative. Head across the lobby and up the stairs. On the right you’ll find the entrance to the toilets.


What’s it like?

Cannes is famous for its beaches, boats, and most of all its film festival. Great beaches, fantastic weather, (remember we were running from the summer floods in the UK) and even more fantastic scenery add up to a fantastic place to go.

After a couple of beers or so (well 25cl is can hardly count as one can it?) around the corner overlooking the harbour, it was certainly time to find somewhere to eat. After a stroll down Boulevard Jean Hibert, Chez Panisse was determined to look like the favourite this particular evening.

The restaurant has a great combination of style and cosy. Whilst clean and modern it keeps an element of true French country style with it. The food lived up to the Mediterranean’s reputation and was tasty and reasonable in price. Great views and good service was also on offer and a street side spot made for a great place to eat.

And the toilets? Well despite the trek what you get is of high quality hotel style, rather than something more rustic that you might expect from the restaurant. They were pretty damned good. Marble counter tops, floor tiles, and lime stone tile is and modern fixtures makes this more than a comfortable place to go.

That with the great location has to be something good.


Marks out of 10:

9 for great style and a touch of luxury.


Comments to the management:

Great toilets for a great location.

Outhouse Review #1: Red Rocks Canyon -- Yup, It's an Outhouse

Red Rocks Canyon
Las Vegas, NV USA

http://www.redrockcanyonlv.org/

Where is it?

This national conservation area, located on the south end of Las Vegas (about 15 minutes from the Strip, via HW 215), offers visitors a chance to drive through the recreation area on a 15-mile car loop, with many marked stops along the way. The outhouse visited here is at the third stop on that loop.

What's it like?

It's an outhouse, that's what it's like. Did you expect something else?

This is a single-toilet structure, set in the back of a parking lot that leads to walking trails into the rocks behind it. Outside, there are wonderful views of the multi-colored stone and scorched desert, as well as solid vistas of Vegas beyond it. Inside, it's a white room with a compost toilet and a toilet paper holder, nothing more. It's somewhat clean but also somewhat -- it's an outhouse, essentially.

The inside of the place could use another coat of paint, just so it won't look so run down. Also, it would be nice if they included some Purell or something of the like inside to sanitize your hands with after the fact. And it's very stuffy inside, since there's no real ventilation and it's sitting in the middle of a desert (my visit was in late September, and it was hot then, but I imagine it's brutal inside this place in the summer -- hot enough to cook in, at least).

But then, as I said, it's an outhouse -- basic facilities for those in dire need, nothing more -- not a comfort castle in any means, so what can you expect? As an outhouse, it's above average. As a bathroom, it's surprisingly more clean than a number of restaurant and gas station toilets I've visited -- as well as a few homes. It smells a bit off, but it's an outhouse, so I guess it's supposed to. At least the view outside will make you forget any misgivings once you've finished your business, right?

Marks out of 10:

6. Not bad for an outhouse. (Did I mention it's an outhouse?)

Comments to the Management:

Needs another coat of paint and a Purell dispenser. Otherwise, not bad. The second best of the three outhouses visited on this trip -- and loads better than the one I visited in Winter Park on that strange occasion.

The Power of Accurate Observation is not Good for the Shaw Café

92 Queen Street

Niagara-on-the-Lake,
Ontario

L0S 1J0
Canada

http://www.shawcafe.ca/


Where is it?

OK from the front entrance head straight to the bar area and then left to follow the bar around. You’ll find a stairwell that spirals down toward the toilets. They are right of where you come off the stairs.


What’s it like?

Over a year before this trip I’d passed by the Shaw Café one evening when it was closed and thought it looked like a good place to stop and have a light bite to eat. The building looks inviting and has tables by the windows so you can look out at the passers by. There is also a restaurant on the upper floor. In fact you’d have to say the stairwell is the most impressive thing about the place.

On the October night a year before I’d not noticed its name or the statue outside. My father had a picture of (George) Bernard Shaw hanging in our house all the time I was a kid so it was instantaneously recognisable. But what would GBS think about being made a tourist attraction? Was this restaurant, which after all only recently replaced a gas station, really in good taste?

Let’s remember that he was an accomplished Nobel Prize winning playwright, and founding member of the Fabians (a socialist reforming movement in which the current ruling Labour party has its roots). His later life certainly reflected his socialist tendencies as he tended his gardens in his fairly basic Hertfordshire home.

Well, as the man himself says there is no love sincerer than the love of food, which is a pity as the Shaw café didn’t excel on this front to be sure. What looked like good cheesecake turned out to be dry, stale mush with some half rotten fruit on top. Yuk, yuk, yuk!

It’s also true that the power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. And this seems to be true of those who review this place on other web sites. Oh lovely they say. Obviously not seen the toilets I groan.

Well actually they weren’t that horrendously bad. I guess the fixtures were clean at least. But then the place seemed generally down at heal and on the slide to oblivion. These toilets are clearly under the staircase. Not a bad thing in itself, but the area by the entrance is cluttered and has that spare room feel! Not inviting at all. Then you enter to find the dreaded paper sign with decaying tape and folded edges. Turn the knob for paper towels. Are you really saying your clientele hasn’t used towel dispensers before?

Then there is the crucial design floor. Well it is actually the floor, or the tiles to be exact. The quarry tiles look dirty and are of the sort that, whether dirty or not, they will always look dirty. Add to this the cheap sink surrounds – are they really plastic! – and the out of kilter tiles on the walls and what you have is a place that generally feels grubby.


Marks out of 10:

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.


Comments to the management:

Oh if you really want to know - Five. Disappointing, like the food.