Big Boy Offers A Clean but Sterile Throwback to the Past

Big Boy Restaurant
795 Gateway Drive
Altamonte Springs, FL USA 32714

http://www.bigboy.com

Where is it?

From the entrance, head straight to the merchandise counter and turn immediately left, around the cashier and into the back left corner of the restaurant. You'll find the bathrooms there.

What's it like?

This chain offers a throwback to the classic diners of the 1950s, where unpretentious greasy spoon food was served by overly friendly waitresses in a comfortable yet slightly tacky setting. The dining room is spotless and filled with bright yellows, reds and whites. The service is spectacularly attentive and friendly (upon sitting down, the first thing our waitress said was, "Hello, friends, can I get you a root beer or milkshake?" to which we responded, "Hell, yeah!"). And the food is decent, well-prepared and comforting. A solid diner through and through -- and with some great French fries to boot!

The bathrooms follow suit, offering a clean environment that's both comfortable and cozy, yet a touch on the sterile side. Black linoleum covers the floor, and the walls are coated in bright white tiles with occasional red tile highlights to break the monotony. The sink and toilets, both made of gleaming white porcelain, are spotless.

The only fault I found is, like I said, that the place feels a bit too sterile. Adding some kitschy wall decor or other bits of personality would alleviate this issue and make the loo just as relaxing as the rest of the place.

Marks out of 10:

7. A very good bathroom that could reach a level of minor greatness if it loosened up a bit more.

Comments to the Management:

People like clean but they don't like robotic clean. As mentioned earlier, consider adding some throwback items to the walls or including similar items around the place to lighten the mood a little. This is a very good bathroom that could reach a level of minor greatness if it had a little more fun with the setting.

Stuckey's Offers Little Privacy for Pee -- and Watch Out for Federal Immigration Agents and Alligators Too!

Stuckey's of Fellsmere
I-95 Exit 156
10950 County Road 512
Sebastian, FL USA

http://www.stuckeys.com

Where is it?

Like most Stuckey's, this place wears many hats. It's part gas station, part souvenir shop, part fast food restaurant and part convenience store.

Given the four identities, you'd think four bathrooms would accommodate the place. But no! There's only one bathroom here and it's a shoddy one tucked in the way back left corner of the shop, past the restaurant, convenience store, gas station cashier and souvenir shop.

Of course you'll have to go through the whole lot of it to the loo, making it a bit of a tedious trek, especially if you're in a hurry.... To make the most of the trip, stick towards the souvenirs section, where you can see everything from Florida-orange-based foods (jams, jellies, marinades, etc.) to preserved baby alligator heads. Yum.

What's it like?

The store around it isn't all that clean to begin with. Not that it's overtly dirty, but it also isn't exactly sparkling. For example, the floors are mopped but you can still see accumulations of dust and grime on them.

The bathrooms are like that as well. White tiles, white porcelain fixtures, all of it serviceable but all of it also in need of some serious upkeep and updating. The wear and tear on the surroundings here certainly make the place look more run-down than it is, and it also highlights the grime hiding in the corners (a major oversight for anyone with a completely white bathroom, if you think about it).

Functionally speaking, the sink faucets seem to have disappeared (perhaps eaten by one of the alligators in the souvenir shop?), leaving you to turn on the water by twisting these round metal knobs that sort of work and sort of don't. Expect lots of dripping here. It's also kind of gross, considering the place isn't that clean to begin with.

Worse still, the men's room had no front door to it, and the secondary door is propped open permanently, which means that anyone entering the area can easily listen in to what's going on inside (or even peek, if he or she wanted to). Not exactly a desire setting for those in need of a longer visit. The fact that the place looks like an open locale to pick up migrant workers makes this oversight all the more frightening, because it adds a shoddy connotation to the place here. On top of it being a migrant hangout, you now must face the fact that immigration may at any second burst down the stall door in search of their man.

Marks out of 10:

3. Could be higher but the fact that you can't close the bathroom door here really bothers me. I enjoy my privacy, even in shoddy surroundings, and I don't like to feel like I must be hurried. I don't mind the migrant thing -- heck, it's citrus country, so they're definitely needed to work the groves -- but do you have to let them board work buses in front of the place?

Comments to the Management:

Time to overhaul and update the place. It seriously needs it. Consider adding some knickknacks from the souvenir shop (or even some wall decor, like an add for the restaurant food) to give it some semblance of character.

Watch Out for Dangerous Nun On the Run

Cafe-Bistro Am Pferdemarkt
Pferdemarkt 5
31785
Hameln
Germany

No web site but there’s a good picture on google earth.


Where is it?

You might want to jot this one down. Go through the main front doors of the restaurant. Head to the bar at the back of the restaurant. You’ll think this is the end of the place, but you’d be wrong. Look right and you’ll see a little passage that looks like it should head to the kitchens. Go down it and you’ll see it opens up into a whole second restaurant. Go down there and on the left there is an entrance to the toilets. Women head right, men to the left.


What’s it like?

Hameln (Hamelin to you and me) is the place where the Pied Piper did his stuff. Very quaint and very clean. The town has a family vibe to it that makes you feel at home, and although I’m sure its more of a tourist trap than we would have seen early evening midweek, it seemed to be mostly German speaking and authentic.

They also did some great beer and after a tough meeting earlier in the day I’d have to admit to having partaken in one or two (or was it three) before I decided to head off to the toilette. I headed off to the bar looking forward to the imminent consumption of goulash. When I got there I managed my German for where’s the toilet and was obviously still sober enough to understand the instructions coming back at me. But could they really be correct? Getting ready for the mugging I found myself in the second restaurant, with several other diners eating away. Not so weird after all. And oh yeah, there are the toilets.

So there I am entering the toilets, for no particular reason feeling rather smug with myself, when the door is flung open and I am literally knocked over by a flying nun who is positively running. At this point I just give up. Pied pipers I’m prepared for but a very Italian Whoopee Goldberg was not what I was expecting.

So what about the toilets? Well, I guess the drama of getting to them has something of the entertainment factor. When you get in there the facilities have the feel of being Wimpy cast offs that have been around for a few years. Red grout and white tile never did it for wimpy and it certainly didn’t do it here. The toilets are also pretty cold on what wasn’t a cold day, but given that they are clean and everything worked they were certainly serviceable.


Marks out of 10:

5 as they could do with some updating.


Comments to the management:

Basic, but it’s good you keep them clean.

Publix: Where Peeing’s A Pleasure?

Publix Supermarket,
Cornerstone at Lake Hart,
10615 Narcoossee Rd,
Orlando,
FL. 32832,
USA.


http://store.publix.com/publix/cgi/site?site=00886&address=


Where is it?

Head to the left when you get in there and the signs are clear. Really it is easy.


What’s it like?

OK what have I said about supermarket toilets before? You don’t use them unless you really have to. That means I’d assume that most people don’t use them. Really, they should be deserted. So why was this place like the queue for a rush hour train. I really cannot imagine what had been put in the water around here to make this weekend stop off such a busy one. Maybe it was the average age of the customers.

OK, so admittedly rather on the grumpy side, I manage to force my way in to the toilets. Being Publix, and I must profess I am a fan of Publix on the whole, you’d expect something a little different. Not overdone, but clean and functional. It’s a pity then that the wear and tear the slightly aged clientele had been putting on the place had made it more than a little messy.

But I have to say we can’t just blame those who still cling to the ‘virtues’ of Cadillac and Oldsmobile for the state of the toilets in this place. For a fairly new store it was disappointingly grimy. You can just about see on the pictures how the grout hasn’t been touched since day one and has aged to a nicotine yellow. Yuk.
So was this a relieving oasis that I needed it to be. No. Next time I’ll wait just the little longer.


Marks out of 10:

5 and no more.


Comments to the management:

Maybe free eyesight tests to the clientele are in order before you let them use the toilets? Then again someone who wanted to clean the place might not go amiss either.

Bathroom Showcases Pig and Whistle's Love of Novelty Signs

The Pig and Whistle Pub: A Fish and Chip Shop
40 S. Fleming Street
Sebastian, FL USA
http://www.pigandwhistlepub.com/

Where is it?

This pub is situated in a narrow store front in a shopping center that once held the area's only Kash 'n' Karry supermarket. That store is long gone, leaving a big gaping hole in the center of this strip mall really, but the other small box stores are all occupied with mom-and-pop businesses like this one.

The pub is the left corner of the mall, and its interior is pretty straight and narrow. The loo, as a result, is an easy find. From the front door, just head to the very back of the place (through the dining area and past the bar and kitchen window). Enter a hallway along the back -- the toilets will be on your right, the women's first and then the men's.

What's it like?

This is a cute little pub that's mostly a local's hangout, though it's such a charming place, and the food's good enough, you might want to make the drive to visit.

The atmosphere is part British, part Florida. Patrons here sit at antique-looking wooden tables covered with somewhat "old-fashioned" (i.e. tacky) clothes. Around them loom decorations like wooden knickknacks, beer signs, posters for soccer teams and more. Think Cracker Barrel with a decidedly British spin. Either way, it's a clean, unpretentious place to grab a beer and some food. The fish and chips here are some of the best in the area, which includes Melbourne and Orlando (believe it or not). Other noteworthy menu items include the creamy conch fritters and the chicken wings, which are fried to delicately crisp perfection here.

The bathrooms extend the dining room's decor almost to a tee. The walls and floor are colored pasty green and the walls are literally covered with novelty signs -- many of which put the user's manhood into question. I spent a good ten minutes reading everything I could find on the walls, from signs featuring groan-inducing puns to ones showing scantily-clad women with beer bottles (ahem). Clearly, this place loves its novelty signs! I only wish I'd been there for a longer visit and not just a pee -- it would have felt like a more justified use of my time, reading all those signs. Still, it's very clean and cozy, and because it's all the way in the back of the place it also provides plenty of privacy. Good show.

Marks out of 10:

8. A top-notch strip-mall bathroom with a well-expressed sense of humor.

Comments to the Management:

I think I saw a little open wall space in the back corner of the loo here -- might want to cover that up with another novelty sign, no?