Thai Singha Boasts Mysterious Floating Toilet Seat, Stowed-Away Sponge

Thai Singha
863 N. Alafaya Trail
East Orlando, FL USA 32828-7049

Where is it?

From the front entrance, walk along the left wall of the place and down a short hallway leading to the back corner of the place. The bathrooms are there.

What's it like?

This is a great little Thai restaurant -- perhaps the best in Orlando -- that just happens to be set in one of the worst shopping areas in town, Waterford Lakes. Not that WL offers poor shopping, mind you -- just about every store imaginable can be found here. But the road layout and throngs of impatient young drivers who frequent the area makes getting around here seem death-defying at times.

For example, the other day alone, while driving through here, a young lady in a decked out Toyota Echo (ghetto-style Echo, that is, with rear spoiler, mag wheels, bass-heavy stereo, dark-tint windows and requisite Mardi Gras beads hanging from the rearview mount) backed out in front of us while we were making our way up the parking aisle and proceeded to inch along slowly towards one of the main intersection. Only, after about 50 feet, she turned into a narrow throughway that stretched between two stores and decided to stop her car in the middle of the road. No idea why. Didn't pull over, signal or anything. She just stopped in the middle of the road, and because we were behind her we couldn't move until the oncoming traffic went by! We honked. We motioned for her to move. Did she? HELL NO! A few minutes passed and no one moved. We honked again and then saw that the opposing traffic cleared, so we went around, and as we passed we gave her the "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?" motion, which in turn produced a confused look on her face, like she didn't understand why her stopping in the middle of the road was wrong in any way. That's Waterford Lakes in a nutshell.

Anyway, back to Thai Singha's bathroom. Yes, while this tasteful little strip-mall restroom houses a cozy little bathroom that's busy with decor, it's located a little too closely to the kitchen to provide much serenity. The walls display artful posters of Thailand, as well as some authentic-looking knickknacks. It's a clean bathroom, though on my visit (later in the evening) it had seen the wear of the day take it's toll on it. The floor was covered in paper towels and bits of toilet paper, and some stains could be seen beneath the rim and in the sink.

But most surprising here is the toilet, whose seat seems to float mysteriously between the all-the-way-up stage and the not-quite-all-the-way-down stage. And, of course, it's not that you can't push the toilet seat all the way up and have it stick there -- you can. You can also put the seat all the way down if you like (no, it won't float up on you, it's not THAT kind of toilet seat). However, if you bring it out a bit from the all-the-way-up stage it will stay there for an undetermined amount of time (I timed it at 3 minutes and it showed no signs of wavering!).

Just as eerie was the yellow and green sponge sitting alone behind the mysterious toilet. Was it there accidentally? Was it there, magically supplying the toilet seat with its special hovering powers? Was it there simply to confuse people who were already confused by the toilet seat's special hovering capabitlies?

Sadly, a knock on the door prohibited me from finding further information. Damn that spicy, all-too-delicious Thai cuisine served here and our wishy-washy American stomachs -- they always seem to ruin one's pursuit for answers to the world's many mysteries.

Marks out of 10:

6. While kind of dirty, the magic floating toilet seat does have its charm.

Comments to the Management:

Need to provide more janitorial maintenance throughout the day and not save the clean-up only after the place closes. Then again, perhaps you already are checking on the toilet throughout the day and the magical floating toilet seat enthralls your employs so much that they forget to clean up....

Sadly, Toilet at American Signature Is Only Room Not for Sale at Store

American Signature Furniture
730 Sand Lake Road
Suite #100
Orlando, FL USA 32809

www.ashome.com

Where is it?

Hard to find. Because this is s a furniture store, the showroom contains dozens upon dozens of different room sets, all of them placed against each other so that the entire place looks like a massive maze of couches, bedsets, dressers, easy chairs, tables and the like. There is a sort of path going around the perimeter of the store, which helps you get your bearings some, but even that winds its way a little too much through the decor. Worse still, the place's army of commission-hungry salesmen are found at every turn, waiting for you to ask them questions about the furniture.

If in doubt, or in a rush, just ask for directions. The salesmen will help you after they've been assured you won't buy anything. Otherwise, from the entrance, head up the middle of the store, trying to keep your direction as straight as possible through the sea of oddly angled furniture, until you get to the back wall. Once there, look for a small enclave with a small sign above it reading "Restrooms." If you reach the Customer Service counter, you've gone too far left and have to buckle back. If you reach the mattress area, you've gone too far right. Good luck.

What's it like?

Despite the hassle of getting there and the tackiness of the showroom, the bathroom itself is quite a classy affair.

The toilet sits apart from everything, almost like a regally standing throne. A free-standing toilet paper holder stands to its side, almost like a first mate. The sinks are embedded in marble counter, and the fixtures are well-polished antique-shaped chrome and look like faucets found in a cozy B&B in New England. A stack of paper towels sits on the counter for you to dry your hands, and a smart-smelling foam soap is offered for washing.

Better still, the walls are covered with art, much of it African in origin (or at least faux African), making the place seem both elegant, peaceful, and cool. The only drawback here was a lonely paper towel I found on the floor -- clearly someone had missed the drop off but didn't bother to go back for the rebound.

Having said that, it should also be noted that the bathroom decor is also the nicest of all the room layouts found in the store -- and it's also the only one you can't buy. There's something to be said for irony, no?

Marks out of 10:

9. Even with the stray paper towel, this is one nice bathroom.

Comments to the Management:

Perhaps keep a closer eye on the upkeep during the day -- your customers, apparently, aren't nearly as classy as your toilet facilities.

Also, perhaps you should display or sell more bathroom arrangements, since (sorry to say) they are much nicer than many of your showroom sets.

Behind the Red Door at Anmol

Anmol Indian Cuisine
12239 University Blvd
Orlando, FL USA 32817

www.anmolindiancuisine.com

Where is it?

From the main entrance, go down the little hallway to the right of the kitchen and service prep counter and journey down to the back of the building (probably a good 30 ft.) before coming to two red doors -- the men's room is behind one, the women's the other. And yes, signs are posted by the doors so you won't walk into the wrong place.

What's it like?

Anmol took over the space some years back from another Indian place, which specialized in cheap vegetarian cuisine. To be honest, I liked the food that the first place better, though Anmol is certainly more upscale in presentation, service, menu offerings and interior decor. The food is decent here, particularly the tandoori grilled items and the kabobs, though there are better Indian places in town. Regardless, it's still the kind of place that offers food that makes you sweat and your stomach churn from heavy spice, so expect to make a bathroom visit, or two, or three.

Luckily, the facilities are much nicer than expected. Strip mall restaurants tend to put little effort into bathroom decor -- or even cleanliness sometimes. That's not the case here. The loo is located behind a glossy painted red door, which of course matches the color of some of their more robust sauces (or perhaps what you'll extrude the following morning).

Inside, you'll find a tasteful, clean environment that's well-maintained and peaceful, even with it's generic white toilet and sink. The gentle pink paint and dark tile exude a sense of serenity, and blend well with the red door color scheme.

Even better, because it's located so far back from the dining room, and because that red door is colored in a way that increases your sense of isolation, you don't feel guilty for taking a longer sit-down than needed (and the food's so spicy and greasy here, you might have to do that).

Marks out of 10:

8. Would have been a 7, save for the location and that spicy red door.

Comments to the Management:

Perhaps increase the isolation factor by adding another red door at the head of the hallway leading to the bathrooms?

Fox Plays Game of Two Halves

The Fox Inn
Great Barrington
Near Burford
Oxfordshire
United Kingdom

http://www.foxinnbarrington.com/index.html


Where is it?

From the front entrance for the main bar you need to head left and you’ll see a door that allows you to double around the back. Go down the steps around to the left. On the left is a corridor that leads to an exit. The male toilets are to the right.

From the car park head to the left of the main building towards the river. Take the first door on the right. The Gents is to the left.


What’s it like?

This place has a great reputation for food and I must admit it is OK on the meat dishes but poor on the salads. The same goes with the décor. Authentic but a little too neglected to be comfortable anymore. Generally, this is a pub with great potential but in its efforts to cater for the local Cotswold country folk (not a bad thing in itself) it does half of the job well and forgets the other half.

No surprise then that the same is the case in the toilets. The floor has nice slate tiles and the walls are clean and OK. But then a trough urinal that is something out of the 1970’s greets you. This wouldn’t be too bad if it weren’t for the awful white residue over it. Then there is the dirt on the radiator under the hand dryer. Just look at that mess! It’s like Mr. Cigarette Ash Hands has paid a visit and against his best judgement decided he just couldn’t resist using the nice warm dryer. What is a surprise then is that the toilet cubical is one of the cleanest I’ve seen in a long while!

It’s a shame that the whole place screams of good intentions that are never properly carried through. It means that every time I use these toilets it is with trepidation. You find yourself rushing through, not because the next pint becons, but because you just want to get out of there.


Marks out of 10:

3 is a fair score here.


Comments to the management:

You need to decide if you really want to run a pub or play at it. Good management never did anyone any harm and you need to do some in the toilets if you are going to inspire confidence in your guests. I just keep on wondering about what state your kitchens are in!

Danger Danger! Toilet Roll Holder May Kill

Sainsbury’s
Mount Mills
Witan Way
Witney
Oxfordshire
OX28 4FF
United Kingdom

http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/shoppingandservices/storelocator/store.htm?id=632


Where is it?

From the entrance head left past the cafeteria and they are on your left at the front of the store.

What’s it like?

I’ve never been one for using Supermarket toilets. I don’t know why – but the fact that everyone has to use the grocery store and you never quite know the type of clientele you’re going to meet puts me off. That’s not to say they’re all bad. I’d quite happily go out of my way to use the toilet in Marks and Spencer’s and I always know to avoid Borders (terrible toilets in every town in every country I’ve ever been in).

Well, a beer on the way home and a phone call that went along the lines of you’re late and meet me at the store or else, landed me in the situation of not being able to wait for the amenities at home.

What I was met with was OK. The first thing that struck me was that, bar the colour, the fittings were a doppelganger of those in circuit city (see Eyal’s review of April 10th). Still, this is functional enough and they were cleaner than I expected. A quick look around made me a little more concerned.

Looking in the first stool a danger sign met me. Placed on the toilet roll holder it was so large that the fault must have been really serious. The holder must have been able to kill. One wrong look and the mean thing would strangle you with a good dose of two-ply top quality paper! I decided to use the next stool.

The sinks were also pretty clean, but when you got to them you were again greeted with a long sign explaining the fault with the automatic tap had been reported and the management apologised. Moreover the hot water might be a tad too hot so be careful! I can gladly report that the taps were fine and the water was perfect. This led me to question whether the toilet roll holder was fully functional. Is this Health and Safety gone mad? Indeed, this was a particularly British experience.


Marks out of 10:

6 for functionality, but the paranoia about the killer toilet roll holder is going to stay with me for some time.


Comments to the management:

Good job on the cleaning, but maybe you should fix things quicker.