Outhouse Review #2: Zion National Park -- Stinky Yet Serene

Zion National Park
Springdale, UT USA 84767

http://www.nps.gov/zion/

Where is it?

These facilities are located at the Temple of Sinewava area of the park, which is the last stop on the bus route that goes through the park.

What's it like?

These bathrooms, found at the mouth of the Riverside Walk trail at Zion (which lead you to the Virgin River and the mouth of the canyon), work much like mass market facilities, in that they can accommodate several people at a time instead of just one (like a regular outhouse).

Design wise, the building they are in matches well with the stunning rock vistas around it, and the wood composition makes it look like a facility one would use in frontier times. They offer running water and flush urinals and toilets, which makes them more like traditional toilets than outhouses. However, they are also located in the middle of the wilderness and smell sharply of urine and waste -- like a regular outhouse. They are somewhat clean, however expect to see lots of trash, mis-thrown paper towels and mud on the floor, as well as some obvious signs of wear and tear. Also, the stench inside can be so sharp at times that you may want to hurry your stop in order to return to the fresh air outside.

Note: The toilets here are also located at one of the most popular stops on the Zion tram, so expect to hear and see lots of traffic, both inside the toilets and out. Lots of tour groups use the sitting area at the base of the stop as a place to eat lunch or gather with other group members who have gone off to do their own thing (it was so busy I couldn't get a free moment to take a picture of the interior -- sorry). Not really a place for privacy, but then again you don't have any other choice because of the location.

Marks out of 10:

5. It's the only game in town, and though it's not terrible it's not nearly as eloquent, private or clean as the outhouse visited in Bryce Canyon (review coming soon).

Comments to the Management:

Needs a complete overhaul, including paint job and updating of fixtures. Needs a serious deep cleaning too -- and adding in some air fresheners wouldn't hurt (unless it attracted animals, of course).

Chez Panisse Eschews Country Feel for Cannes Glamour

Chez Panisse,
2 Boulevard Jean Hibert ,
6400,
Cannes,
France.

http://www.sofitel.com/sofitel/fichehotel/gb/sof/0591/fiche_hotel.shtml


Where is it?

Drag yourself away from the view of the Mediterranean and prepare for a long trip. From the street side head into the restaurant and towards the back. Pass to the left of the counter. Follow around to the right and there is a doorway. Go through it up the step. The door to the toilet is on the right….

But then, if it is engaged, as it was when I was visiting, turn about and you’ll see some signs for a first floor alternative. Head across the lobby and up the stairs. On the right you’ll find the entrance to the toilets.


What’s it like?

Cannes is famous for its beaches, boats, and most of all its film festival. Great beaches, fantastic weather, (remember we were running from the summer floods in the UK) and even more fantastic scenery add up to a fantastic place to go.

After a couple of beers or so (well 25cl is can hardly count as one can it?) around the corner overlooking the harbour, it was certainly time to find somewhere to eat. After a stroll down Boulevard Jean Hibert, Chez Panisse was determined to look like the favourite this particular evening.

The restaurant has a great combination of style and cosy. Whilst clean and modern it keeps an element of true French country style with it. The food lived up to the Mediterranean’s reputation and was tasty and reasonable in price. Great views and good service was also on offer and a street side spot made for a great place to eat.

And the toilets? Well despite the trek what you get is of high quality hotel style, rather than something more rustic that you might expect from the restaurant. They were pretty damned good. Marble counter tops, floor tiles, and lime stone tile is and modern fixtures makes this more than a comfortable place to go.

That with the great location has to be something good.


Marks out of 10:

9 for great style and a touch of luxury.


Comments to the management:

Great toilets for a great location.

Outhouse Review #1: Red Rocks Canyon -- Yup, It's an Outhouse

Red Rocks Canyon
Las Vegas, NV USA

http://www.redrockcanyonlv.org/

Where is it?

This national conservation area, located on the south end of Las Vegas (about 15 minutes from the Strip, via HW 215), offers visitors a chance to drive through the recreation area on a 15-mile car loop, with many marked stops along the way. The outhouse visited here is at the third stop on that loop.

What's it like?

It's an outhouse, that's what it's like. Did you expect something else?

This is a single-toilet structure, set in the back of a parking lot that leads to walking trails into the rocks behind it. Outside, there are wonderful views of the multi-colored stone and scorched desert, as well as solid vistas of Vegas beyond it. Inside, it's a white room with a compost toilet and a toilet paper holder, nothing more. It's somewhat clean but also somewhat -- it's an outhouse, essentially.

The inside of the place could use another coat of paint, just so it won't look so run down. Also, it would be nice if they included some Purell or something of the like inside to sanitize your hands with after the fact. And it's very stuffy inside, since there's no real ventilation and it's sitting in the middle of a desert (my visit was in late September, and it was hot then, but I imagine it's brutal inside this place in the summer -- hot enough to cook in, at least).

But then, as I said, it's an outhouse -- basic facilities for those in dire need, nothing more -- not a comfort castle in any means, so what can you expect? As an outhouse, it's above average. As a bathroom, it's surprisingly more clean than a number of restaurant and gas station toilets I've visited -- as well as a few homes. It smells a bit off, but it's an outhouse, so I guess it's supposed to. At least the view outside will make you forget any misgivings once you've finished your business, right?

Marks out of 10:

6. Not bad for an outhouse. (Did I mention it's an outhouse?)

Comments to the Management:

Needs another coat of paint and a Purell dispenser. Otherwise, not bad. The second best of the three outhouses visited on this trip -- and loads better than the one I visited in Winter Park on that strange occasion.

The Power of Accurate Observation is not Good for the Shaw Café

92 Queen Street

Niagara-on-the-Lake,
Ontario

L0S 1J0
Canada

http://www.shawcafe.ca/


Where is it?

OK from the front entrance head straight to the bar area and then left to follow the bar around. You’ll find a stairwell that spirals down toward the toilets. They are right of where you come off the stairs.


What’s it like?

Over a year before this trip I’d passed by the Shaw Café one evening when it was closed and thought it looked like a good place to stop and have a light bite to eat. The building looks inviting and has tables by the windows so you can look out at the passers by. There is also a restaurant on the upper floor. In fact you’d have to say the stairwell is the most impressive thing about the place.

On the October night a year before I’d not noticed its name or the statue outside. My father had a picture of (George) Bernard Shaw hanging in our house all the time I was a kid so it was instantaneously recognisable. But what would GBS think about being made a tourist attraction? Was this restaurant, which after all only recently replaced a gas station, really in good taste?

Let’s remember that he was an accomplished Nobel Prize winning playwright, and founding member of the Fabians (a socialist reforming movement in which the current ruling Labour party has its roots). His later life certainly reflected his socialist tendencies as he tended his gardens in his fairly basic Hertfordshire home.

Well, as the man himself says there is no love sincerer than the love of food, which is a pity as the Shaw café didn’t excel on this front to be sure. What looked like good cheesecake turned out to be dry, stale mush with some half rotten fruit on top. Yuk, yuk, yuk!

It’s also true that the power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. And this seems to be true of those who review this place on other web sites. Oh lovely they say. Obviously not seen the toilets I groan.

Well actually they weren’t that horrendously bad. I guess the fixtures were clean at least. But then the place seemed generally down at heal and on the slide to oblivion. These toilets are clearly under the staircase. Not a bad thing in itself, but the area by the entrance is cluttered and has that spare room feel! Not inviting at all. Then you enter to find the dreaded paper sign with decaying tape and folded edges. Turn the knob for paper towels. Are you really saying your clientele hasn’t used towel dispensers before?

Then there is the crucial design floor. Well it is actually the floor, or the tiles to be exact. The quarry tiles look dirty and are of the sort that, whether dirty or not, they will always look dirty. Add to this the cheap sink surrounds – are they really plastic! – and the out of kilter tiles on the walls and what you have is a place that generally feels grubby.


Marks out of 10:

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.


Comments to the management:

Oh if you really want to know - Five. Disappointing, like the food.

Autostadt: Technical Flair with Design Elegance

Autostadt
StadtBrücke
38440 Wolfsburg
Germany


http://www.volkswagen.co.uk/company/factories
http://www.autostadt.de/portal/site/www/


Where is it?

If you drive a Volkswagen that is in any way modern take this tip before you leave the car. Take a note of exactly which slot in which row of the car park you are in. Then take a note of exactly which car park. Then on the walk to the museum, chalk a mark on the road every so often to help you on the way back. Virtually nobody, and I mean nobody in this town drives anything other than a Volkswagen. Believe you me this will save you from having to wait until every other person has left in the evening to find your car.

Once you get to the main building, enter the main doors and head into the building towards the information desk. Towards the right you’ll see a set of stairs that head down in to the basement. Down there you will find a gently lit subterranean hall. Head across the hall towards the left and you’ll find the toilets.


What’s it like?

OK why the big deal about checking where you parked here? Well this is Wolfsburg and Wolfsburg is Volkswagen. We left town as the shift changed and I’m not kidding you that the 3-lane highway was jammed with cars, every one a VW. The hunt around the car park could easily take enough time for three pit stops in the toilet if you happened to forget exactly where your car is.

Autostadt is the VW museum. I didn’t expect to spend more than a couple of hours here, but was surprised to find myself leaving 6 hours later. Really, this is a good family day out, which is as cool for the kids as for the car enthusiast. As well as some of the older European cars, and the last Beetle to come of the Brazilian production line in 2003, each of the VW owned brands has a section of the park. Bentley, Audi, Skoda, etc are all in attendance. The restaurants are also pretty damned good. Honestly, great waiter service and a huge pizza and beer for less than 10 euro is good any time.

What impressed me most about the whole set up was the attention to detail and design. This is the same for the toilets too. Quality doors to the entry. Hugh coloured glass dividers between the stalls all start you thinking these are not just any toilets. Come on, they even has a separate small toilet set just for the kids.

Then you hit on the square sinks. The first thing you think is that they shriek of the impracticality you sometimes get in the more fancy restaurants. But then, when using them, you forget they’re so fancy after all. They’re somehow easy to use, and you find yourself just using them with ease.

What makes these toilets so good is what makes you think they look just a little stark before you walk in. They’ve been designed by car designers. For all the fancy looks they are so easy to use. They work! I guess this is a product of having the best car designers around. Things in cars these days have to look good and be easy to live with. If they don’t people just don’t buy your cars. Volkswagen know this and have certainly managed to transfer it to these toilets.


Marks out of 10:

9. Superb to look at and practical with it.


Comments to the management:

Solid, sound, practical, technical marvel…