Toilets at Club Quarters Philadelphia A Little Too Close for Comfort

Club Quarters Philadelphia
13th Floor
1628 Chestnut St
Philadelphia, PA USA
www.clubquarters.com

Where is it?

This restroom can only be visited by guests of the hotel, as the elevator will not take you to the 13th floor, where this restroom is located, unless you place your key card into the security slot on the elevator. (Those visiting the hotel and in need of a toilet should head to Davio's, the high-end restaurant attached to the hotel, as an alternative, since you do not need a key card to get into that bathroom.)

If you do have access to this bathroom, then you will need to take the hotel's very slow-moving elevator to the top floor (13th floor), which is where its conference room facilities are. Once on the floor, take an immediate left outside the elevator and journey down the small hallway just past the elevator shaft. The toilets are there.

What's it like?

I thought I experienced small toilets at Marathon Grill, which were very small but at least tried to cover up their smallness with interesting design flourishes. These facilities -- perhaps because they are not as available to the public and thus do not get used as regularly -- shy away from that mentality. These are indeed some of the tightest bathroom quarters I've ever stepped into.

Of course, what makes it feel so small is that unlike Marathon Grill, which is a one-bagger, these toilets try to accommodate more than one person at a time -- and as a result the space feels even smaller than it would if it were to accommodate only one person at a time.

The bathroom itself isn't more than 30 square feet in area, and in that tiny space it holds a sink, urinal, toilet stall, soap dispenser and paper towel dispenser. The walls are beige-painted drywall, the floors covered in beige tile. There are no decorations on the walls, and everything is kept pretty clean and in working order. Fixture wise, it's your standard white porcelain model, except for the sink which has this strange oblong shape to it -- making it look like a it was originally designed for an airplane bathroom but eventually rejected.

Opening the door to get in is a bit of a problem, because if you're standing at the sink at the time, both you and the person coming in have nowhere to go -- you can't get out, and he can't get in. A similar situation arises if you're washing your hands and someone's either at the urinal or in the stall -- they can't really move until you're done (and I imagine the person in the stall will have some issue with this, because he won't be able to leave the stall at all if someone's at the sink OR at the urinal).

Likewise, if you're at the sink or peeing and there's a person using the commode, you'll realize soon that there's very little privacy between the two of you. If I had to use the commode and someone was already at the urinal, I would wait until he left. If I couldn't wait, then I would have to start apologizing for the sounds I produced the minute I got inside. Yes, it's THAT cramped in here.

Marks out of 10:

5. Clean and well-kept, but just too small for two or more people to experience comfortably and without embarrassment.

Comments to the Management:

Turn this into a one-bagger. I don't see what else you can do about it.

Turn-of-the-Century Feel Dominates Davio's Restroom

Davios
111 S 17th St
Philadelphia, PA USA 19103
www.davios.com

Where is it?

This sprawling restaurant is about the length of one city block, with its grandiose, spacious dining room taking up almost three quarters of its space and its bar tucked into the back corner of the place.

To find the toilets, head to the bar. When facing it, go to the right and sneak down the hallway to the back right of the bar. The toilets will be there.

What's it like?

This high-end Italian-inspired restaurant describes itself as a "northern Italian steakhouse," however it feels more like an upscale turn-of-the-century dining parlor than anything else. The dining room decor, from its stucco walls to its light bulb-studded ceiling to its enormous and vast dining room, make you feel like you've just stepped into a chapter of E.L. Doctorow's "Ragtime," like it was once a place where union reps once drew masses and organized protests. (I asked and was told the building used to be a bank. Go figure.)

The menu, on the other hand, offers a mix of familiar Italian and steakhouse offerings, as well as some inventive dishes (Philly Cheese Steak Spring Rolls, for example). The steaks are phenomenal, as are the fish dishes and vegetable sides, which come prepared simply so that you can taste the freshness of the ingredients, and the desserts are near-legendary in quality (the molten chocolate cake was so rich I could only eat half the serving, which was small to begin with).

It's an expensive place too, and dressy -- not your everyday eatery, and great for special occasions. Ironically, the restaurant is attached to an inexpensive business traveler hotel I was staying at (Club Quarters Philadelphia). This made me wonder how much more expensive restaurants would be if were attached to a high-end hotel. Kind of scary if you think about it, no?

The toilets here follow the motif of the dining room, in that when you step in you feel like you've stepped into the bathroom of a turn-of-the-century parlor. They are not as spacious as the dining room, mind you, but they do make good use of space, particularly in the central area, which provides lots of room for visitors to maneuver in and out of places.

The lighting is dim (perhaps too dim, as you can see from the pictures -- perhaps the same person who lit this place lit nearby Le Castagne?), though it's used to good effect, especially the candles placed on the counters, which draw the eyes to the place's more decorative features. The walls and floor are covered with simple-yet-elegant tile work that feels both functional and sophisticated -- kind of like what I saw at Marathon Grill, but with a greater emphasis on grout work. The sink station featured antique-inspired faucets (not automatic), free-standing stainless steel soap dispensers and baskets holding high-end paper towels (again, reminiscent of Le Castagne, only a bit more refined here).

Fixtures were standard white but also felt old-fashioned because of the way they complimented the tile work. Stalls and urinals were separated by beige metal barriers, which melded with the decor thanks to the way the lighting was used. Clearly, the person who lit this knew what he/she was doing -- it's the bathroom's great unifier, if you think about it.

It's very clean and well-maintained. I stepped in three times over the course of a long evening and never found a mess or a smell awaiting me. If I had to complain about anything it's that you can hear the bar area a little too well when you're inside, especially if the bar's busy (as it was on my visit). Not to the extent of Soyka's in Miami, but still even when I was alone in here I didn't feel like I would have the place to myself for very long.

Marks out of 10:

8. Well-kept and very unified in design thanks to its tile patterns and expert lighting.

Comments to the Management:

I would suggest increasing the lighting here some, so it's a little easier to see, but that might ruin the turn-of-the-century effect. However, you might consider piping in some music so that people in hear don't hear the bar area so well.

Stylish Surface and Very Dim Lighting Can't Obscure Le Castagne Toilets' Wear and Tear

Le Castagne
1920 Chestnut St
Philadelphia, PA USA
www.lecastagne.com

Where is it?

This restaurant is located inside a building and not out on the street itself, which may make it hard to find to begin with for those who expect their restaurants to be free-standing buildings or at least to have an awning outside signifying where they are within a set complex.

Thankfully, finding the toilets is a little bit easier, but not by much. The dining room here is arranged in a unique manner: Think of the interior as if it were like the letter "P" (get it?), with the stem of the letter being at the front (where the bar is), the base of the round part being where the entrance to the restaurant is, and the remainder of the letter being where the dining room is.

Given that, you expect a pretty straightforward design. But no. The dining room is hard to spot because when you enter because you will see that the designers have placed many white curtains around it. This has been done, I assume, so as to provide as much privacy as possible for the diners, while also providing them with a bit of a dreamscape setting. It looks stylish, yes, but it's also a bit hard to navigate because it takes away the natural contours of the room, making it seem wavy and round instead of angular and straight.

Given that, to get to the bathrooms, head the back wall, using the bar as a place setter -- since it's entrance is also along the same wall. Once there, head to your left, deeper into the dining room, until you come across a small staircase on your right. Go down that staircase -- it brings you to a basement hallway where you'll find the bathrooms.

What's it like?

The restaurant itself is a very good Italian eatery that, according to its menu, serves northern Italian specialties. I actually thought the food here was more Roman-inspired, especially in its emphasis on roasted meat and seafood, but there are plenty of delicious pasta dishes and other specialties on the menu worth investigating, including a gnocchi alfredo that may just be one of the richest, most decadent pasta dishes I've ever had. Two bites, and I was ready to sleep. No fooling!

Not surprisingly, the toilets, like the dining room, show off lots of design flash. They carry art deco undertones, especially in their signage and colors (solid reds over matted greens, for example). The amenities share in this design concept: The two-station sink features matted metal faucets, free-standing stainless steel soap dispensers and wrought iron paper towel racks. Toilets were standard white and appeared in decent shape.

However, it is very dark in here -- as the pictures I've taken suggest. So dark, in fact, that I started wondering what the place was covering up. A little dimness adds style, after all, but a lot makes you think something's up.

After a little investigating, I found parts of the red wallpaper covering a majority of the walls starting to peel up in spots, and after seeing that I had a good feeling that perhaps there was even more wear and tear present there, only I wouldn't be able to find it without putting up some major lighting. (And my investigation was cut short because other people entered the bathroom and I didn't want to look like I was some sort of nut, so.....)

Marks out of 10:

6. Decent, except for the dim lighting and the bits of disrepair you find when you start looking below the sheen and gloss of the surface.

Comments to the Management:

Please add some more light to the place. It really needs it. After that, you might want to give the facilities a good once over to make sure there aren't any serious flaws that were obscured by the darkness. You have a wonderful restaurant, and it deserves top-of-the-line toilets.

Marathon Grill Toilet's Is Tight But Offers a Lot for Such a Little Space

Marathon Grill
121 S 16th St
Philadelphia, PA USA 19102
www.marathongrill.com

Where is it?

This cozy establishment comes split into two sections: A main dining room and a bar area, with an open kitchen lining the back wall and unifying the two spaces. The entrance places you at the back of the dining room, with the open kitchen (and a takeout counter) to your right. To get to the restrooms, follow the kitchen (keeping it to your right) counter to the back of the opposite wall (and into the bar). Once there, you'll notice a small hallway wrapping around the back of the kitchen -- the toilets are there.

What's it like?

The dining room of this upscale neighborhood eatery features plenty of wood and golden lighting and lots of broad windows (for people watching), and combined the decor gives the place a familiar yet chic feel. The menu here is extensive, including a variety of comfort dishes and sandwiches along with various Asian-inspired and other fusion-based dishes.

On the whole, the kitchen puts out some decent, well-priced fair -- which is pretty much what you want from a neighborhood spot. The bar has a bit of a more upscale feel to it, with glass shelving housing various decorative items, flat-screen TVs and a decent beer selection, which makes it perfect for an after-work drink.

The toilets here are small, almost European-inspired, and in practice they reminded me a lot of the Greek Flame Taverna toilets in Winter Park, FL. Though it should be said that these are much more stylish and ambitious than than those.

They cover an area about the size of two airplane bathrooms combined and pack in several items in that small space: a toilet, shelf for towels, sink, handicapped railing and more. It's quite a tight fit, to say the least, and those needing to maneuver some many have difficulty doing so in these tight quarters.

While many places would be content to just offer the basics in such a crammed in environment, the toilets here do aim a little higher. The walls are covered with stylish white tile work. The sink and towel shelf are both stainless steel and half-sized, as if it were there to conserve space, creating a sort of slick minimalist effect. Lighting is supplied by a wrought iron fixture that looks like a cross between a hip lamp and one of those lights used by miners to illuminate tunnels. The combined effect adds some serious style to a space that essentially is very claustrophobic.

Unfortunately, while these touches certainly improve the visit, they don't necessary take away from that cave-like feel, especially for longer visits. Also, as you might expect, there was some spilled water and urine on the floor (no doubt a result of the tight fit here), and some mis-thrown towels (which I would assume wouldn't be as much of a problem because of a limited space, but then I guess we all can't be Larry Bird, right?).

Marks out of 10:

7. Not perfect, but not bad either. And the decorative touches certainly improved the experience. Still, it's a small space and you never forget that while you're here.

Comments to the Management:

I really like the design of the place, especially the tile work. It could be lit a little brighter though and a bit of art could be added to the walls, just to take away from the slight claustrophobia you get while you're inside. Also, if you can, try to visit the toilets and mop up the floor a couple times a day. I have a feeling this place is a bit hard to maintain, considering that it's very small and located in the very back corner of the restaurant, but it couldn't hurt to try.

Cozy UPENN Cafeteria Toilet Offers Push-Button Help

University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine
14th Floor Cafeteria
Philadelphia, PA USA
med.upenn.edu

Where is it?

From the cafeteria, head to the elevator shaft and go on through, until you're in a cozy hallway beyond that. (It's filled with comfortable-looking chairs and a long stretch of windows that seems to take in the light pretty well.) Turn right when you reach that hallway. The toilets will be on your left, about 10 feet down.

What's it like?

These cozy surroundings offer visitors a tasteful place to make a pit stop. The walls are covered in beige wall paper, the floors are covered with off-white tile and metallic dividers separate the lone stall from the lone urinal. It's really quite comfortable and clean, making it perfect for longer visits (except during the lunch hour, when the cafeteria traffic is pretty high).

Given that it's really only got room for two, the place still manages to feel pretty spacious, if not a little old-fashioned (the result of the wallpaper). Thankfully, in this case, old-fashioned doesn't translate into old and weary. Most of the facilities here seem to shy away from technical advances we've seen at other bathrooms (including the disabled-persons-friendly facilities 10 floors below here). Paper towels are still cranked out manually, soap is dispensed via a wall-mounted pump, and the heater placed next to the commode (a nice touch, though a little antiquated) looks like it came from a 1970s student apartment.

Still, technology does rear its head around some. The toilets are all auto-flush, and the faucets are well-made automatic ones, releasing warm water instead of cold -- perfect for the cold winter day during which I made my visit.

While these qualities certainly make it sound like everything here is in tip top order, there were a few eccentric elements found that are worth noting. For one, the spare toilet paper roll for the stall was set on top of the paper towel dispenser, not in the stall itself. Naturally, this would make for a very awkward situation if the person in the stall ran out of paper and had to venture into the bathroom's lobby to restock.

Secondly, the same lobby has a large red button mounted to the wall of it, with a sign around the button reading "Press for Help." Now, I understand this is here to help disabled people who ventured in on their own and were unable to finish their business. Though really if the person needing help were in the stall he/she would have to go a long way to press the button, which made me question it's usefulness.

At the same time, being 14 floors above the ground (and with a great view of the city available to you just steps from the bathroom door), I took this little message as a call for something greater.... Perhaps it's all the Russian literature I've been reading lately?

Marks out of 10:

8. A nice bathroom through and through, and the eccentric touches actually had me thinking the toilet here was the equivalent of a traditional British B&B -- formal and cute, but with a bit of unique character to it.

Comments to the Management:

A very good bathroom that's well-maintained, except for that "Press for Help" button, which seems like it's in the wrong spot. Heck, if I'd backed away from the sink too quickly after washing my hands, I might even bump into it accidentally, and then think of the trouble I'd be in. Also, please store the spare toilet paper rolls in the stall -- this is a university, not a hot spot for public exposure enthusiasts.