Oddities Diminish Laurenzo's Utilitarian Intentions

Laurenzo's Italian Center
16385 W.Dixie Hwy.
N.Miami Beach FL USA 3316

www.laurenzosmarket.com

Where is it?

This is hard to find, and if in doubt you may have to ask for help.

To get to the bathrooms, you'll first need to head to the deli counter (not the meat counter, fish counter, pasta counter, prepared foods counter, breads counter or cookie counter -- which all look alike to some degree). Once there, look for where there's a separation in the bar that's about three feet across (between the deli meats and the olive bar). Go through that separation and into the storage area behind the deli area. Then take an immediate right (if you go straight, you'll be in the storage rooms and meat lockers) and you'll find the bathrooms facing you.

What's it like?

Laurenzo's is a large Italian Market in North Miami that specializes in authentic Italian ingredients, like in-store cured meats, imported prosciutto and porchetta, rare mushrooms, wines, as well as top-quality meats, fish, cheeses, fresh pastas, breads, cookies, imported canned goods and more. There's also a cafeteria located in the main store which offers delicious, authentic Italian-American foods and a fresh produce stand in the plaza across the street from it.

While the store itself is a gourmand's paradise, the bathrooms here aren't much to look at or experience -- and in many ways they feel like an afterthought, something that was tacked on long after the nearby meat lockers were put in place. (You can hear people working feverishly while in here, it should be noted.)

They are small, crammed and a little dingy. White tile covers the floor and walls. The sink and toilets are of the no-nonsense white porcelain variety. The mirror is nailed bluntly to the wall, without much afterthought or even a frame. A red stall door separates the toilet from the rest of the room. Cleanliness-wise: It's a mix-up. On the whole, it's clean (and I suppose this is expected, considering the utilitarian nature of the place), but there's also some grime settled into the grout, which is quite noticeable against the white tile.

Also worth noting: The soap dispenser has been installed at an angle. Not sure if it was supposed to be this way or not, but it's stuck that way (I tried straightening it and it didn't budge). Furthermore, In addition, a sign offering meticulous step-by-step instructions on how to wash your hands hangs beside the sink. I always thought this process was pretty self-explanatory, but I guess for some people a little extra help is needed.

Marks out of 10:

6. The tight quarters and grime-covered tile mar the score here.

Comments to the Management:

While I doubt nothing can be done about the size of the place, it could still use a serious scrub down -- and maybe consider straightening that soap dispenser.

Another Surprising Success for McDonald's

McDonald's
Kingsditch Retail Park,
Kingsditch Lane,
Cheltenham.
Gloucestershire.
GL51 9PX.
United Kingdom

http://www.mcdonalds.co.uk/


Where is it?

This is primarily a drive through on the edge of town, so you’ll have to fight to park up and use the main restaurant. From the entrance head straight and before you get to the counter head left. The toilets are in front of you.


What’s it like?

I think I must be good at helping people move house. I get to do it fairly often. Even in a weekend stop in Philadelphia the conversation went something like “hey I forgot to tell you we’re moving house this weekend. Hope you’ve got some scruffy stuff ‘cos you’re helping. So it was no surprise to me when I found myself in another transit van loaded with furniture. Other than the joy of playing with rental vans moving house is also a good excuse to hit a McDonalds for lunch.

This time it was in the UK and the local drive through. Chicken Premiere Sandwich ordered it was time to seek out the toilets. What I found was some of the cleanest, shiniest, warm, and clinically clean toilets I’ve come across in a fast food place. Honestly, they were absolutely spotless.

As this branch has been around for at least 10 years, and can only be called busy, even at quiet times, you have to be surprised. They were so clean I send in the home owner to be in to check out I wasn’t hallucinating. Nope, apparently not.

Bravo Ronald!

Marks out of 10:

9 for tip top toilets.


Comments to the management:

BRAVO INDEED.

Everything Ship Shape at Boston Lobster Feast

BOSTON LOBSTER FEAST
8304 Crystal Clear Lane
Orlando, FL USA 32809

www.bostonlobsterfeast.com

Where is it?

It's about as far back in the restaurant as you can go.

From the main entrance, head left, past the hostess table and enter into the dining room. Once there, go past the many sections of the buffet. When you hit the wall of windows that faces Sand Lake Road, turn right. You'll enter a hallway then that runs behind the kitchen then. Head to the back of that hallway and you'll find the bathrooms.

What's it like?

This seafood buffet prides itself on its freshly cooked shellfish, and for the price (about $40 per person, as of this writing), it's not a bad deal, considering you'll get plenty of lobster, crab and other sea-faring dishes (prepared in a variety of ways, not just steaming), as well standard buffet items like roast beef, veggie sides, salad, soup and the like. It's decent quality food, though this is certainly not one of the better seafood places in town.

Given the somewhat fishy smell found in the dining room (which you kind of expect), one would anticipate finding a bathroom steeped in strong oceanic odors, both fair and foul. Surprisingly, that's not the case.

The place has very little, if any, noticeable fishy smell. Nor will you find bits of fish and shellfish parts around the sinks or on the floor -- also a surprise, considering the food here is hands-on and messy to eat. (That's a considerable improvement over restaurants in similar scenarios, like Ozzie's Crabhouse in Grant, which offers better food but a less-sanitary toilet-going experience).

On the flip-side, the place offers little surprises design-wise: Off-white drywall walls, black tile floors, white sinks and toilets and off-white divider walls. The walls come decorated with bits of faux-seaside decor, like cute signs that say things like "Captain's Quarters" (get it?) and tacky painting of lighthouses and such. Still, the fact that it's clean, near-odor-free and well-maintained makes up for those misgivings.

Marks out of 10:

8. Would be a 7, but it's cleanliness and odor-free environment raised it up a notch. A considerable success for a mass-market seafood restaurant, if you think about it. Many of the Red Lobster's I've been to haven't come close to this.

Comments to the Management:

I would like to see a little more imagination put into the bathroom decor, though really that's only nitpicking. You've done a fine job with this place, considering the odds against you. Kudos.

Mc Café Has the Feel

McCafe,
Augsburger Strasse 75,
91781 Weissenburg.
Germany.

http://www.mcdonalds.de/flash.php

Where is it?

Well first a disclaimer on the address. The place we stopped at was certainly somewhere between Heidelberg and Munich. We took the back roads. We ended up stopping in somewhere beginning with a W after a really pretty stretch which continued for a long while afterwards. Without my notes (they’ve gone missing since I was there), but with a little help from the McDonalds’ finder thing this looks like it was the one.

Once there go from the entrance head towards the counter until you can head right. Go straight across the restaurant and you’ll see a corridor (more of an opening really). The toilets are down there on the left.


What’s it like?

The reality that many of us face when travelling for pleasure is inconsistent and sometimes downright disgusting toilets. Some of the worst toilets I can remember were at a truck stop near Arusha in Tanzania. I’ll not go in to the detail, but a score of –2 would probably have resulted. A trip around the newly opened eastern-bloc countries in 1991 also revealed a few basic toilets. The overnight train that headed east out of Munich had toilets that were particularly interesting. In fact it was on this trip that my love of McDonalds grew. Stumbling upon a McDonalds in Budapest meant not only could I have the first western food for 4 weeks, but also the best toilet facilities in that time too.

So it was good to continue the tradition in 2007 with a stop in a McCafe. A McCafe? This is McDonalds’ new concept for Germany. Part normal restaurant and part relaxed coffee place. And was it agreeable. Well it seemed to be going down well with the locals. People were not just rushing in and out with the kids as you might see elsewhere, but meeting their friends, reading the newspaper over a coffee and cake, and generally relaxing.

And the toilets? Well they were very new, very clean and well a little odd. These were high spec for Maccy D’s. Tile on the wall. Proper wooden doors. In fact I think they were themed to be toilets in a mountain cabin. At least that would tie in with the local area. Having said they were a little odd they were more than comfortable enough. In fact they were damned right entertaining. Add to that they were warm and cosy and all you can say is that they were a complete success. Well-done McDonalds!


Marks out of 10:

8 for a clean entertaining stop.


Comments to the management:

Mountain styling is a little odd, but these are not bad at all.

Near-Luxurious Luxor

Luxor Las Vegas
3900 Las Vegas Blvd S
Las Vegas, NV USA 89119

www.luxor.com

Where is it?

These are harder to find that you might think: In addition to the hotel's already twisted and turned over interior, which has no linearity to it, the casino area itself was undergoing some renovation, which blocked certain pathways and created makeshift ones in their place.

These facilities are found on the north east side of the hotel, in the spaces located between the hallways leading to the north side guest rooms in the pyramid and the edge of the casino. They're near one of the poker rooms -- though which ones exactly, I cannot say, since there are many poker rooms and they all look alike.

What's it like?

These are decent mass market toilets, though they lack the imagination and class of those found in the Bellagio or the Wynn. That doesn't mean they are mediocre -- these are wonderful, roomy, airy environs, are kept impeccably clean and have all their fixtures in proper working order -- they just can't compete with the waterfall-like faucets and Roman-inspired stonework found at those other locations.

Still, there is much to admire here. The floors and most of the walls are covered with thick sandy tile that looks much like the stone used in the Egyptian Pyramids (it' the Luxor, so you don't really expect anything else); the upper walls are covered with wallpaper that contains a design composed of Egyptian figures and such. The vanity area houses sensor-driven faucets, pumps that dispense a nice-smelling soap and a wide stretch mirror for all to share -- a little dated in design compared to its Vegas compatriots, sure, but clean regardless. The toilets and urinals are the standard white porcelain models. They have beige dividers between them and are kept impeccably clean.

The spot is a bit noisy, given that it's located at the edge of a mammoth casino and a busy thoroughfare, so it's scant on the quiet, but it's still large, well-kept, clean and comforting, which will certainly work if you're in need of a longer visit.

Marks out of 10:

8. A fine, albeit unremarkable, public toilet.

Comments to the Management:

Since you're updating the rest of the hotel's interior, you might want to consider updating these a bit too -- some more modern touches would be welcome.