Publix: Where Peeing’s A Pleasure?

Publix Supermarket,
Cornerstone at Lake Hart,
10615 Narcoossee Rd,
Orlando,
FL. 32832,
USA.


http://store.publix.com/publix/cgi/site?site=00886&address=


Where is it?

Head to the left when you get in there and the signs are clear. Really it is easy.


What’s it like?

OK what have I said about supermarket toilets before? You don’t use them unless you really have to. That means I’d assume that most people don’t use them. Really, they should be deserted. So why was this place like the queue for a rush hour train. I really cannot imagine what had been put in the water around here to make this weekend stop off such a busy one. Maybe it was the average age of the customers.

OK, so admittedly rather on the grumpy side, I manage to force my way in to the toilets. Being Publix, and I must profess I am a fan of Publix on the whole, you’d expect something a little different. Not overdone, but clean and functional. It’s a pity then that the wear and tear the slightly aged clientele had been putting on the place had made it more than a little messy.

But I have to say we can’t just blame those who still cling to the ‘virtues’ of Cadillac and Oldsmobile for the state of the toilets in this place. For a fairly new store it was disappointingly grimy. You can just about see on the pictures how the grout hasn’t been touched since day one and has aged to a nicotine yellow. Yuk.
So was this a relieving oasis that I needed it to be. No. Next time I’ll wait just the little longer.


Marks out of 10:

5 and no more.


Comments to the management:

Maybe free eyesight tests to the clientele are in order before you let them use the toilets? Then again someone who wanted to clean the place might not go amiss either.

Bathroom Showcases Pig and Whistle's Love of Novelty Signs

The Pig and Whistle Pub: A Fish and Chip Shop
40 S. Fleming Street
Sebastian, FL USA
http://www.pigandwhistlepub.com/

Where is it?

This pub is situated in a narrow store front in a shopping center that once held the area's only Kash 'n' Karry supermarket. That store is long gone, leaving a big gaping hole in the center of this strip mall really, but the other small box stores are all occupied with mom-and-pop businesses like this one.

The pub is the left corner of the mall, and its interior is pretty straight and narrow. The loo, as a result, is an easy find. From the front door, just head to the very back of the place (through the dining area and past the bar and kitchen window). Enter a hallway along the back -- the toilets will be on your right, the women's first and then the men's.

What's it like?

This is a cute little pub that's mostly a local's hangout, though it's such a charming place, and the food's good enough, you might want to make the drive to visit.

The atmosphere is part British, part Florida. Patrons here sit at antique-looking wooden tables covered with somewhat "old-fashioned" (i.e. tacky) clothes. Around them loom decorations like wooden knickknacks, beer signs, posters for soccer teams and more. Think Cracker Barrel with a decidedly British spin. Either way, it's a clean, unpretentious place to grab a beer and some food. The fish and chips here are some of the best in the area, which includes Melbourne and Orlando (believe it or not). Other noteworthy menu items include the creamy conch fritters and the chicken wings, which are fried to delicately crisp perfection here.

The bathrooms extend the dining room's decor almost to a tee. The walls and floor are colored pasty green and the walls are literally covered with novelty signs -- many of which put the user's manhood into question. I spent a good ten minutes reading everything I could find on the walls, from signs featuring groan-inducing puns to ones showing scantily-clad women with beer bottles (ahem). Clearly, this place loves its novelty signs! I only wish I'd been there for a longer visit and not just a pee -- it would have felt like a more justified use of my time, reading all those signs. Still, it's very clean and cozy, and because it's all the way in the back of the place it also provides plenty of privacy. Good show.

Marks out of 10:

8. A top-notch strip-mall bathroom with a well-expressed sense of humor.

Comments to the Management:

I think I saw a little open wall space in the back corner of the loo here -- might want to cover that up with another novelty sign, no?

Another Longhorn, Another Rootin' Tootin' Toilet

Longhorn Steakhouse
6691 Lake Andrew Drive
Melbourne, FL USA 32940
321/632-9990
www.longhornsteakhouse.com

Where is it?

This one's a little challenging to find. From the main entrance, head to the back wall, with the bar to your right and the dining room to your left. Take an immediate left, through the back section of the dining hall, and keep walking towards the far wall until you're about 50 feet from the edge of the restaurant. At that point, look for a corridor on your right that looks a little like a waitress station but doesn't have a cashier or drink station there. That's your destination.

What's it like?

While not exactly an identical match to the other Longhorn bathroom reviewed on this site, this bathroom still manages to reproduce the charm of that aforementioned loo, albeit in a more subdued (or should I say "sub-dude" since this is a cowboy-inspired steakhouse) manner.

It's clean, spacious, quiet and filled with cheesy-but-fun Wild West-inspired decor. No, the stalls aren't made to look like outhouses (like in the other location), but there's still plenty of humorous memorabilia to be found here, especially on the walls. Plus, modern design (marble vanity counter, automatic sinks, silky foam hand soap, etc.) adds a sense of restraint to the mix, making it clear the place takes its facilities seriously but not so serious as to not make it devoid of fun for visitors.

I wasn't awed by what I experienced here but I did smile a lot -- and for chain restaurants, that's certainly welcome.

Marks out of 10:

8.

Comments to the Management:

A good, solid bathroom that extends the theme of the restaurant. While not stellar, I'm not sure there's much room for improvement either. So.... keep up the good work, pard'ner!

Craven Picks Over Remains of Old Toilet

Craven Arms
Brockhampton
Cheltenham
Gloucestershire
GL54 5XQ
UK

Where is it?

Easy this one. As you come in from the car park head directly left and virtually double back on yourself and you’ll be right there for the mens’.


What’s it like?

This place reminds me of the Fox in Great Barrington as one of those Pubs in the Cotswolds that have not quite pulled of the move in to the 21st Century. The menu shows some effort however can’t compete with the very many pubs that manage to give good tasty food with flair. Charging more might help them make this transformation, but I guess they’re probably scared of putting off their mainly aged customers. This is a pity because all ways around you end up with a bad deal. What seems cheap on the menu becomes bad value when it’s on the plate in front of you.

The same can be said for the décor. It’s not that bad all round, but with that little bit of effort could be something spectacular. The comfy sitting room is all OK if a little worn. The restaurant space tries to blend in with the 16th century cottage feel and just ends up dull and sterile at the same time with an expanse of tile.

I wish I could be more positive with the toilets. Well they’re OK. In fact let me give credit where credit is due. A lot of effort has gone in to them. There is a great orchid and pot-purée, great curtains too. Effort has been put in to painting the walls bright white and making them clean. In fact the toilet cubical is perfectly nice.

But here’s the rub. Taking a 50-year-old toilet and giving it some paint will never quite do the trick. The rusty radiator and warn sink let the whole place down. All the effort that would usually score highly goes to waste as you cannot ignore the fact the facilities are ancient.

The owner of this place fails to see things through the modern customers’ eyes. Like the fact that talking to the locals rather than serving your customers and helping out your rushed and over worked staff is not a good move she can’t seem to see that customer don’t want to see effort, they want to see comfortable and completely clean toilet. No rust. Proper heating. No unwanted smells. Get it? Probably not.


Marks out of 10:

5 for the effort and the fact everything worked.


Comments to the management:

This place has such potential and is let down by through no lack of effort (in the toilet at least). Spend some money and I’m sure you’ll get some good returns.

Surprising Luxury at Millennia Mall

The Mall at Millenia
4200 Conroy Road,
Orlando, FL USA 32839

http://www.mallatmillenia.com/experience/experience.htm


Where is it?

Go through the palatial main entrance. As you enter the restaurant court head left. There you’ll find the luxurious waiting area. Women head left, men head along and then left.


What’s it like?

The Luxurious: The Sumptuous: The Unexpected: The Experience.

That’s how this mall’s web site announces itself. And I have to say this is where I’d go to get away from it all. Not to buy anything you understand. No, I’d save that for the outlets. But it is a good place to have a meal and generally hang out in relatively quiet air-conditioned surroundings.

The first time I went here I had to get Eyal to go see the facilities. They’re not over the top, but you’d really not expect to find such high-grade facilities in a mall. It starts with the waiting area. The faux leather sofas set this place up fine. And hey, they also serve a purpose. You’re partner is bound to take their time here, so a comfy place to sit does come in handy.

Then there are the facilities themselves. The first thing to strike you is that they are spotlessly clean. The second is that they have a really high quality feel. Granite rather than plastic dividers between the urinals and stools shows that thought and expense has not been spared. Every appliance is chrome, and surprisingly sparkly. Never a smudge to be seen!

My only question is how do they do it? I’ve never seen anyone in there cleaning.


Marks out of 10:

10. Just super!


Comments to the management:

By far the best toilets I’ve seen in a Mall.