Frevd is a Fraud

Fraud,
119 Walton Street,
Jericho, Oxford
OX2 6AH
United Kingdom


Where is it?

From the front door head towards the left past the bar. There’s a pair of double of fairly bland dark double doors. Go through them and you’ll find the toilets through there.


What’s it like?

So, set in a converted Church in trendy Jericho this place is all about the wow of the building. The church conversion is used to full effect with banners hanging from the roof space. It is a pity that the wow stops there and lack of attention to the whole experience lets this place down. The food was fairly average to poor (pop in for a drink and leave it at that) and the toilets are unloved.

Yes, wow turns to urgh when you enter the toilets. Cold and drab you wonder why they have painted the walls bright yellow? I hardly want to speculate, but it might have something to do with the fairly limited number of urinals for the space available. In fact there is a general grubby feel throughout. The paint goes right on to bare brick. The sink is serviceable, but you would only use it through necessity. The lack of attention makes it clear that the owners don’t care whether you come back or not. In short, despite the potential you find out that Frevd is a fraud.


Marks out of 10:

3. At least they were servicable.


Comments to the management:

You need to refurbish if you want people to feel good about taking a pee.

Oriental Underworld?

1st Oriental Supermarket
5132 W Colonial Dr
Orlando, FL USA

Where is it?

Behind the registers, in between the holistic medicine counter and the orchid display. Just look for the restroom signs and then the doors for the men's and women's toilets.

What's it like?

This is a mammoth oriental supermarket filled with all sorts of odd, and occassionally off-putting, smells -- primarily that of over-ripe seafood (if you catch my drift) -- and sights. It's an impressive grocery, don't get me wrong of that, but it's certainly not going to give the area Publix a run for its money in terms of cleanliness.

Also, the bathrooms don't diffuse those odors much, nor do they offer visual respite. They are dark, danky, and a bit grimy, with a faint air of mildew circling about in them. Not really the place you want to visit unless you're in dire need.

Though having said that, there are worse toilets in the area, and it is an oriental supermarket, after all, and it's not like you're coming here to NOT explore the cultural possibilities around you. So perhaps, in that light, the loo offers an appropriate extension of the cultures represented there?

Marks out of 10:

2. Pretty icky no matter what.

Comments to the Management:

A little light might do wonders here, as would some air fresheners. But then, having said that, one has to wonder what lurking horror might be illuminated by that light.

"Mellow Flushrooms"?

Mellow Mushroom
2015 Aloma Avenue
Winter Park, FL USA 32792

www.mellowmushroom.com

Where is it?

From the entrance, go left, past the bar and indoor dining room, towards the back wall. There, you'll see a sign pointing towards the "Mellow Flushrooms" leading you through a door to your right. Go through the door and into a small atrium: The women's room is at the back of the atrium, the men's to your right.

What's it like?

This is a hip little pizza joint filled with 60s memorabilia (lots of Beatles posters for some reason), a psychedelic color scheme and lots of great pizza and beer selections. (A hipster's pizza palace if there ever was one.)

The bathrooms extend the theme, with filtered lighting (a bit of an annoying orange), lime green walls and more Beatles posters (including a print of the famous Andy Warhol painting over the urinal). Bathrooms are tidy but probably could be a little cleaner. Tile could use a scrub. Damp paper towels were piled up on the floor, by the trash can. Little bit of mildew on the porcelain. Not enough to turn you away, mind you, but certainly enough to suggest the staff visit a little more regularly throughout the day....

.... Unless of course they're spending too much time getting in touch with their 1960s sensibilities. Which may be the case. When we were leaving, one of the pizza chefs just happened to be singing the praises of beer quite loudly ("BEER!! BEER!!! BEER!!! I LOVE BEER!!! BEER!!! BEER!!!) . Mellow indeed......

Marks out of 10:

6. Clean, but has the potential of being better than what it is.

Comments to the Management:

Stop declaring your passion for beer and attend to the "Flushrooms" more often.

What's with the Foot Cream, Nile?

Nile Ethiopian Resturant [sic]
7040 International Drive
Orlando, FL USA 32819

http://www.nile07.com

Where is it?

The dining room is separated into two rooms, a main room with a majority of the tables and a center area filled with traditional Ethiopian textiles and woven baskets, and a side area with just tables. You enter in the main room, which as a bar at the back. Head towards the bar, but right before you get to it you'll see a small opening leading to the second room (to your right). Go into the second room, turn left immediately, and go to the rear of the restaurant. The bathrooms will be there.

What's it like?

This a very humble restaurant that's obviously been decorated by the owners. The paint job is patchy in parts, as are the way the decorative archways have been carved in the dining room. Not badly done, mind you, but not professionally done either. Coupled with the fine food and friendly service, the combined effect has you feeling like you're entering someone's home more than a restaurant. The only distracting factor during our visit was the constant barrage of 70s dance tunes that played on the sound system. (According to the owner, the place hopes to do more nightlife entertaining and this is his way of getting started -- though it seems the place is too modest at the moment to accommodate anything more than what it is.)

Given that, the bathrooms prove an extension of the dining room decor. You can tell the walls were painted by the owners, and the tile work was laid down by someone who doesn't do it professionally. Corners aren't edged properly. Tile is a little crooked here and here. But still, the overall experience was comfortable. It's a clean, serviceable toilet through and through.

The only mystery here was a tube of foot cream I found atop the soap dispenser by the sink. What is foot cream doing here? Why was it atop the soap dispenser -- a hands only place if there was one. (This is a restaurant where you don't use utensils -- you eat everything with your hands.) Very perplexing.....

Marks out of 10:

6. Clean and functional, but the presence of foot cream knocks it down a step.

Comments to the Management:

No doubt some touching up is needed -- and you'll need to stay attentive to make certain the toilets don't start sagging in quality as time passes. But more important, please keep your foot cream -- and all other creams -- out of public view. That's just weird!

Tropical Paradise at Tommmy Bahama

Tommy Bahama Cafe
9101 International Drive
Orlando, FL USA 32819

http://www.tommybahama.com/

Where is it?

Harder to find that you might think. From the maitre d' stand, face the restaurant's bar area. Walk straight towards the back wall, keeping the bar on your left, until you enter the small corridor on the back wall, just right of the waitress station on the back wall. The bathrooms are in there.

What's it like?

Very comfortable. The restaurant carries a modern-yet-old-fashioned island decor to it, with lots of ceiling fans, bamboo decor, plantation-styled walls, deep, dark woods and tropical colors. It's like one huge funiture commercial come to life, really.

The toilets extend that decor, offering urinals that stretch to the floor and are divided by the same sort of wooden shutters you'd find on the outside of a Caribbean mansion and stalls that use those same shutters as doors. Very spacious, quiet, clean. The sink has shiny metallic fixtures done in an antique fashion (again, adding to the motif), and the tilework mimics the tropical colors of the dining room. Bonus points for the coconut-scented air freshener their pipe into the place (and, to a lesser degree, into the dining room).

The only misstep was in the urinal separator itself, which was a little loose in its support and flapped a bit as I was peeing. Slightly jarring, even in a tropical sense. The urinal separator isn't a banana leaf, after all!

Marks out of 10:

9. Close, but no cigar, thanks to that flapping separator.

Comments to the Management:

Fix that urinal separator and you're as golden as a tropical ray of light.